


A Tale of Two Species

by myfineasymptote, TheatricalPlacenta



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Adorably innocent Haise, Anal Play, Bathroom Sex, Biting, Blowjobs, Crossdressing, Cuddling, Deepthroating, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Dream Sex, First Kiss, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Multi, Panties, Rimming, Sex Toys, Sexting, Shower Sex, Silly Hide, Slow Build, Threesome - M/M/M, Webcam/Video Chat Sex, first makeout
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2018-04-18 10:37:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 114,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4702943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myfineasymptote/pseuds/myfineasymptote, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheatricalPlacenta/pseuds/TheatricalPlacenta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stuck on his current case, Haise takes a suggestion from Juuzou and goes to visit a retired veteran of the raid of Anteiku for some advice. Little does he know, he- and the voice that echos in his head- seem to have met this blond man before...</p><p>Featuring: WAY to much smut, quite a few spelling errors, smut, odd switches in POV, and did I already mention smut?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I would say I can explain. But there are no words...
> 
> A collaborative effort between Theatrical Placenta and myself.

Hide looked up from his cellphone at a sharp rapping at his door. Stifling the instinctive “maybe it’s him, at last”, he walked up to the door and opened it.

* * *

 He held the paper in his hands, staring down at the words as if he knew them; something deep down inside pulling at the frayed wires of his mind. They tugged and tugged, his brows furrowing slightly as he lifted his right hand to knock on the door, wrist snapping each time. 

He wasn’t quite sure why he’d been sent here, and why the informant couldn’t have just come down to the CCG, but considering how out of the way this place was he was thinking ’it better be worth it’.   
His most recent case was on a ghoul who had been kidnapping children, chopping off limbs and cauterizing them, eating them slowly over the course of a week or so. The scenes upon arrival reeked of...he didn’t want to think about it, and he didn’t want to know how this guy knew anything about it.  
  


When the door opened his heart stopped, only for a second, and for what reason he didn’t know. That little voice was telling him the brown eyes staring owlishly at him were familiar, that smile, that hair…  
  
“My name is Haise Sasaki from the CCG, You must be-” he looked down to the paper again, blinking at the name before repeating it, the words rolling off his tongue a little too naturally “Hideyoshi Nagachicka? It’s a pleasure to meet you” He held out the same hand that had knocked on the others apartment door, Haise kicking himself mentally at how fast he was speaking “I was told you have some information on my case. Investigator Juuz-err...Suzuya mentioned you’d worked part time for the CCG some time ago”   
  
He cleared his throat, opting to not mention how the raven was surprised to find that the blonde was alive. Haise wouldn’t touch on that subject as most near death experiences with the CCG were never really all too pleasant to remember.

* * *

 “Ah,” Hide gasped, his mind going blank. Different hair, but that face… he could never forget that face. The face that haunted his dreams and his nightmares, softly whispering, “You failed to protect me. What good is a friend that I can’t trust with my biggest secret…?”

 

Shaking his head and coughing, Hide banished the thoughts from his mind. “Err, I used to work for the CCG, it’s a bit of a long story. If you wouldn’t mind coming inside…?”

 

Hide waved his visitor inward, to the living room (and soft, inviting couch) just inside his meager two-bedroom apartment. He hoped his wince at the sweeping motion wasn’t too visible.

* * *

 Haise held the paper to his chest, nodding almost timidly as he offered the other a small smile in return, stepping inside with a small ‘excuse me’.

  
Hideyoshi seemed to be thin, not exactly frail, but it was visibly noticeable that the man was sick, or had been. Perhaps he’d recovered or was currently recovering from an injury. Haise would guess it had something to do with that near death experience with the CCG.   
  
“You have a nice place” Haise muttered, trying to be polite as he took a seat on the couch, placing the paper on the coffee table before smoothing his pants over his knees “It’s a very bright environment. It’s good for your health” his smile turned thin, watching as this man stared at him with a sad gaze, the silver and black haired investigator wondering just why he looked that way.  
  
It was such a pity, for a young man like him to look so...broken.   
  
“So you’ve met Juuzou. Quite an interesting character” he laughed only for a moment, leaning forward earnestly, trying to make the conversation as pleasant as possible before they got to more gruesome topics “...right?”

* * *

 Hide hummed in affirmation, fighting down the urge to rub at his shoulder. Why now, of all times? _Maybe it’s because Kaneki-_

 

“I met him a few times, back when I worked for the CCG. I’m surprised he still remembers me.” Hide gave Haise his brightest smile, trying to relieve the investigator’s obvious distress. Perhaps it was in recognition or…? No, there’s now way. Kaneki would have sought him out by now. There had to be a different reason for the vibe that could only be described as “haunted” that Hide felt from this investigator. That, and…

 

“So, what was it you came to ask me about? Because I haven’t heard anything about the Centipede ghoul on the news recently.” Hide forced a chuckle, trying to seem casual. This time he couldn’t fight down the urge to rub his shoulder, and tried to play it off as casually as he could.

* * *

 Haise continued smiling, the corners of his eyes creasing as he remembered Juuzou just barely remembering this Hideyoshi character when Akira mentioned him. Of course Akira had tried to come here herself, insisting that either she or Juuzou could come over here to ask for help.

  
Haise had heard good things from colleagues. Hideyoshi had apparently been a whiz at information in accordance to ghouls and predicting their habits. Akira acted strangely about it all, snatching the letter from a hospital in regards to this guys discharge right out of his hands. If she wanted her company mail to be private, maybe she shouldn’t get him to open it for her.  
  
One thing led to another, Arima silencing all Akira strange fussing, and eventually sending him over to try and maybe get an...opinion?....outta Hideyoshi….  
  
To be completely honest, Haise wasn't even sure what he was really doing here…

 

“Centipede?” Haise blinked, swallowing thickly as he mouth went dry. A knot formed in his stomach, mind racing as a faint scratching and clicking rang deep in his ears. A centipede. Squirming, wriggling, digging, _burrowing in deeper-deeper-deeper-_ ”I’ve never heard of…”The centipede ghoul” He clicked his tongue, whispers clawing at his thoughts, telling him things, demanding something that he just _couldn’t quite hear._

 

“The ghoul i’ve come to get your...insight on...is someone we call the caretaker” he blinked away a stinging in his eyes, staring down at the floor when looking at Hideyoshi became a little too much to bare “I’ve never heard of any centipede…” he breathed, repeating himself to affirm that he indeed lacked the memory of any….  
  
Centipede.  
  
He had the worst feeling.  
  
Like something was eating away at his stomach; at his ears.  
  
He couldn’t help but feel like he was being put under some test.   
  
A test of his strength, his ability to stay himself, to survive and refuse the thing he used to be…

* * *

  _I fucked up._

Hide could almost sense the panic radiating from Haise’s slight form at the mention of the word centipede. Shit, Shit shit Hide hadn't even considered that it would be a sensitive issue for him, he should have known there was a reason Kaneki went crazy when he turned into the Centipede ghoul-

“It was the ghoul I investigated when I was with the CCG,” Hide blurted. “I just- I assumed you would be-”

Hide cleared his throat and attempted to calm down. Nothing good would come of panicking now. Now that he was certain as to who this was.

“The caretaker? I’ve never heard of them. Something to do with children, I’m guessing? Hmm…”

Hide took a deep breath. Calm. He could do this.

“If it’s a kidnapper… I would guess that it probably works in the school district, or in transportation. Something that would give them access to children while their parents are not around to protect them. Have you investigated the school bus drivers? People who might have gotten on the train with them?”

Hide tried not to seem to demanding, but he truly could not help himself. When he got into the “Investigator” mindset, it was like he became a different person. Suave, confident, intuitive. Not someone who had to get a step stool to reach the top of his cupboard because he would never have the full range of motion in his shoulder ever again.

* * *

 He was caught up in his own thoughts, biting the inside of his cheek until copper stained his tongue, nails biting his knees through the thin fabric of his dress pants. The clicking in his ears got louder, jaw aching as if the flesh behind his eardrums were been gnawed on. 

  
Why hadn’t he been briefed….why wasn’t Hideyoshi called...in fact...he looked surprised to see him before.  
  
He wanted to ask if Hideyoshi had even expected him, or if this poor guy was tracked down by the CCG after his unfortunate injury and recovery.  
  
He found himself watching now as the blonde touched his shoulder, looking away from him as he tried to change the subject and supply Haise with some theories. Subconsciously his tongue roved over the back of his teeth, gaze tearing away from Hideyoshi's shoulder to stare back down at the floor.  
  
“I thought of that….at least the bus drivers and teachers in the school district. Never public transit, so thank you” His voice was level, Haise leaning back in to the couch, fingers lacing together as he continued speaking “They often happen during the evening, children missing from their homes in the morning. All honors students oddly enough, that’s something I noticed…”  
  
He looked through his lashes, dark eyes focused on Hideyoshi's face, heart continuing to pick up the pace while the clicking in his ear died away.

* * *

 “Honor students…” Hide whispered to himself, thoughts whirling. “Could it be they went to cram school? Or had a home tutor? A ghoul would only need to visit a home once to know which is the child’s bedroom. And then it would just be a matter of- Oh, Sorry,” Hide mentally kicked himself. Way to insult your guest, genius. And also way to reveal you totally know what his deepest darkest secret is. MAN, Hide is just SO ON POINT with these things today!

 

“SO,” Hide cleared his throat, “Why did Suzuya-san recommend me? You seem to have a pretty good handle on this case, and I can’t imagine I’m doing that much to help you.” 

* * *

 Haises smile was gone, his gaze focused on Hideyoshi, listening intently as the blonde spoke. Why he hadn’t thought of a home tutor....well why _hadn’t_ he thought of it? 

  
“It’s alright” he was quiet, trying to figure out just who this guy was, snorting when Hideyoshi actually came out and asked just why he of all people was recommended for ...brainstorming.

“Really...I have no idea” Haise bit his lip, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat “I think...I may have...umm” he reached up to scratch his head, the knot getting even tighter in the pit of his stomach “You…may have known...who i was. I think that’s maybe why i was sent”-’to see if i would crack’ he wanted to add, but refrained from doing so.  
  
He wouldn’t give in.  
  
He wouldn’t die and give his body back to whatever monster was inside.   
  
“But beyond that, I don’t have a clue.”

* * *

 “Who you were,” Hide echoed, a chill racing down his back. “Do you remember it? Being someone else? Is that why you got so anxious at the word cent-”

Hide stops, realizing he had unintentionally been leaning forward in his excitement.

 

Hide edged away awkwardly, trying to find the best way to breach this very delicate topic.

“I do know him. Or at least, I did. We kind of lost contact after a while, haha,” he laughs nervously. “Would you… Would you like me to tell you about him? I mean, I don’t have to, if that would make you uncomfortable..” Hide trailed off into an awkward mumble.

* * *

 Haise tried to keep his breathing even, the word centipede never having stopped repeating itself in the back of his mind. Sometimes he would start to say something and feel like he was repeating himself, or end up in a place or city he swore he’d never been in before, and that ache inside would tell him that if he dug a little deep...tried a little harder to reach for those things he could no longer remember they would come back. 

  
“Sometimes...” he whispered to himself, wanting to attempt an answer to the inquiry at whether or not he remembered, but he swallowed that answer. He was about to tell a complete stranger about the looming figure in his dreams, the monster that was one step behind him, the centipede clicking as it reached and wound around him.  
  
Why did he feel so comfortable around this guy...was it because he knew him? because that other person knew him? Did something reside....  
  
“You speak very fondly of him” Haise felt this sense of longing, like screams from the hole inside him bellowed out for his hands, and for once he actually wanted to take them “I don’t know anything about him...who I was. I only know a monster so I-” he caught himself, pausing as he tried to be more sensitive to Hideyoshi; the friend of whoever owned this body last.  
  
“Kaneki Ken…” his eyes narrowed “I know his name at least. But you obviously know someone the rest of us haven’t had the pleasure of meeting”  
  
He should have left five minutes ago. 

* * *

 At that, Hide perked up. “Yeah! That’s him! That nerd Kaneki,” Hide smiled fondly at the memories playing before his eyes. “I don’t know what you’ve heard about him, or what you remember, but he was my best friend.”

 

“He always kept everything to himself, to try and protect me, you know? Even when I could have helped him. He is- he was, I mean, really great.” Hide tried to swallow around the sudden lump in his throat.

 

“You seem to have a bad opinion of him, and I’m sorry about that… Just… Just know that he isn’t a bad person.”

Hide can’t help the pleading note that bled into his voice, and didn't try to stop it. “He really isn’t. He didn’t mean to hurt anyone… I don’t know exactly what happened to him, or to you, but he’s not evil.”

 

Hide tried to ignore the sharp prickling feeling in his eyes. “Sorry, I… I miss him a lot.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did I forget to mention this is hella silly? Because it is hella silly. I am the one writing Hide and at one point I start referencing memes mid-smut.
> 
> Oh my god so silly.
> 
> (And now it is edited! Please tell me if I missed something, because I apparently had the damndest time sticking to one tense, jfc.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you look closely, you can see me _completely fucking forget_ to tell Haise to call him Hide.

Haise heard how happy Hideyoshi was at first, his stomach fluttering, but as the others expression slowly drops; so did his. He didn’t remember any ‘nerd’ or some silent defender, only the wavering voice of insanity threatening to burn him down to the ground. That, and a small...child…  
  
“Sure sounds like someone I’d be.” Haise scoots to the edge of the sofa, eyes flashing nervously before speaking “Ghouls aren’t treated to kindly….or regarded as anyone's best friend really, so it figures I would... only know how fearsome he was.” Haise spoke from his own fear, and how strong the pull of some other conscious that wasn't his could be “I’m happy to hear he wasn’t all bad...” Haise leaned forward, feeling wrong in speaking about Kaneki as some separate person, even though he truly believed he was. He was Haise…  
  
“I’m sorry to bring up painful memories.” his arm raised, fingers just barely grazing over Hideyoshi's knuckles in a poor attempt at consoling the man.

* * *

 “Hah, what? No, I’m fine.” Hide smiles again. “But thank you. I guess the CCG probably doesn’t like that line of thinking… That ghouls are pretty much human except for their diet. Err, not that I know any, obviously.” Hide coughs into his fist.

 

“So... How about this weather?” For the first time since Haise had knocked on his door, Hide lets out a full laugh.

 

Somehow, talking to Haise… Even if he knew it wasn’t Kaneki… It made him feel better. Like Ken was finally reaching out to him somehow. 

* * *

Hideyoshi shrugged his unease off with a laugh, trying to make light of the situation, and disclosing something that Haise chose to ignore. He would keep that to himself; the fact that this Hideyoshi knew of more ghouls. All of them weren’t bad, Haise for some reason felt that way, and he could only deduce it to him also behind a ghoul. 

  
He left his hand where it was, unable to move, unwilling to cease this physical contact. Hideyoshi had changed the subject, uncomfortable about talking about the late Kaneki Ken even though he insisted he was fine.  
  
Of course Haise could tell that was a lie even without the awkward body language and the carefree laughter.   
  
He felt jealous of Kaneki Ken. He had this person in his life.  
  
He hurt this person.  
  
He hurt...this person?

 

Haise couldn’t help but smile back, a small laugh bubbling up his throat even though he wanted to do anything but laugh. He wanted to choke, his heart panging in his chest while a cold chill ran over him.  
  
How could he possibly know that.  
  


Why was he laughing?  
  
His only answer as it wasn’t really him who was laughing with Hideyoshi, that hand connecting them ripping away to cover his mouth, eyes wide and terrified for only a second “W-well yes it is quite nice out!” his voice cracked, head snapping towards the window, hand now firmly in his lap “I think...i’ll take the long way back. Get lost in thought”  
  
He wanted to leave, but he didn’t move. Some part of him wanted to stay, screamed for him to take Hideyoshis hand again.

* * *

 Hide felt the smallest pang of rejection when Haise moved his hand, but quickly buried that emotion. After all, Kaneki had never felt that way towards him, so there was no way Haise could, right…?

 

Instead, he gave a gentle smile. “It is really nice out. I might join you when you leave… The docs are always telling me to get more vitamin D, hah.”

Hide shakes his head to rid himself of the memories of those days in the hospital.

 

“So, can I get you anything? Tea, coffee, water? Sorry I’m such a bad host.” Hide can’t help the effortless grin that spreads across his face. Haise gets embarrassed so easily (and adorably) that it really does feel like he’s talking to Kaneki again.

 

Hide quickly buried that thought before it could betray him with a besotted blush.

* * *

 Haise took a deep breath, stomach fluttering once again when Hideyoshi flash those pearly whites, the investigator trying his best to compose himself without snickering at the stupid expression.

  
“I would like that. Company is always welcome”  
  
In truth he wanted to escape. Leave by himself and leave this giddy….hauntingly familiar warm feeling behind. The thing he wanted to do most was march up in that assholes office and show him a thing or two!   
  
“I…”  
  
‘I didn’t mean to stay long. I should go’  
  
He wanted to say it, he really did, but what came out of his mouth was something completely different.  
  
“I would love some coffee…”

* * *

 “Awesome! Would you like to come get some, because I don’t actually have any in the house.” Hide couldn’t fight down the laugh that inspired even if he tried.

 Hide had always pulled this sort of thing back when it was just he and Kaneki- bait and switching him into going to Big Girls for burgers, or to come shopping with him for whatever he needed for that week. Even though he knew this Haise was a different person, it was quickly becoming apparent that old habits were still kicking in. Hard.

 “I know a very good coffee place nearby, called :Re. Let’s make it a date.” Another smile burst from Hide completely uncontrolled.

* * *

 Haise blinked slowly, then a few more times a little faster, lashes batting against his pale cheeks as the others excited squabble registered in his head. Sure he’d be willing to go with the other to somewhere nice, it couldn’t hurt...maybe it would be good for him.

  
“A-a date?” he croaked, before biting his bottom lip. A date? A DATE?!  
  
Haise wasn’t asked out often, or at all really, and being a completely new person to the world and all, some things just came as a shock-or….he just got really nervous around that word. It made him both giddy and terrified. Perhaps Kaneki had had bad experiences with dates and that nausea was just some left over physical reflex, but on the other hand...hanging out with Hideyoshi... _excited_ him.

 

“I...I guess so” he stood abruptly “I can drive us there...unless it’s not too far”

* * *

 “It was just a joke!” Hide laughed nervously. Wow, Hide knew that there would be an embarrassed reaction- he lived to see them from Kaneki- but the full-on stuttering blush from Haise was just too adorable. ~~It sort of made him want to ask Haise out for real -~~

 

“It’s not too far. We could walk there,” Hide grinned playfully, and before he could stop to consider it, blurted out- “We could even hold hands on the way if you’re worried about getting lost.”

* * *

 Haise stood there staring at Hideyoshi like a deer caught in headlights. His wide grey eyes met a mischievous brown gaze, this interaction becoming very uncomfortable and inappropriate, yet it felt….right.

  
“Lets go” Haise quipped, turning on his heel, refusing to look at Hide as he made a beeline for the door, his face burning a bright red “I’ll walk you back after. I hope you don't mind me leaving my car outside in your apartment stall….you didn't seem to have one, so i used it” he spoke all to fast, voice an octave higher than usual.

* * *

 “Yeah, I live in walking distance of everywhere I need to go, so… But you don’t really care about that. Let’s go!”

 

After a few blocks of walking in ( a comfortable to Hide, probably awkward to anyone else) silence, Hide gestured to a small, trendy cafe. “This is it! The waitress is super nice, so I come here all the time.” No innuendo intended, Hide just barely stopped himself from saying.

* * *

 Haise kept to himself, walking in perfect alignment with the other, trying to mull over what Hide had said previously about tutors and cram schools. He really would have to look in to that, but for now he was on a da-aaaayyyy trip with a new acquaintance. 

  
He swallowed as they entered the little cafe, taking their seats across from each other, Haise watching in pure fascination as the other just radiated happiness. Kaneki was a lucky person.  
  
Before long, they each had a cup of steaming coffee in front of them, Haise not paying attention to the waitress, only to wave off the offer of cream and sugar. Disgusting.  
  
“So...you were recently discharged...and you’re already in what i can only assume to be...a new apartment. “The location is perfect...but perfect for what?” haise held up a finger “What kind of job are you looking for around here exactly?” he was simply trying to make conversation, and really this location was perfect for just about anything. 

* * *

 “Umm,” Hide gulped, “well, any job, I guess… Right now I work part-time at a convenience store, but it’s a bit hard because- “ Hide gestures at his shoulder. “I can only work cashier. But it gets me out of the house, at least.”

Hide sipped at his coffee- half milk, with plenty of sugar- thoughtfully. It had been a while since he’d considered a change in career path. “I make enough to pay rent, at least.” Hide grinned as a thought struck him. “Why, how much do you make? I won’t turn down a sugar daddy if you’re offering.” 

* * *

 Haise listened, blowing on his coffee out of some pre-programmed habit, before taking a sip. He found it extremely hard to swallow however, because in the next second Hideyoshi was inquiring if he would be his “sugar daddy”. Haise wasn’t entirely sure what that even was, but he didn’t feel very comfortable when the other said it.

  
Leering with a tight smile, Haise spoke evenly “You like to tease me huh?” he wasn't sure if this was common with everyone he knew or just... Kaneki….  
  
“Working for the CCG again would be out of the question then,” he placed his cup back down on to its saucer, glancing down at his fingers as they played idly with the sugar packets they had placed beside his coffee just in case he changed his mind.  
For a moment a thought occurred to him that perhaps they’d sent him to recruit Hideyoshi again, but one look at this guys physical appearance and Haise knew he was in no shape to do anything ghoul related “When you end up in the hospital for a good couple years, that’s a sure sign to quit making nice with ghouls right?” he smiled a little, trying to make a joke, eyes widening slightly at the small insinuation that he may have an idea of what happened; or what who had caused the others physical ailments.   
  
Why couldn’t he have just said fighting them off? Why did it have to come out as “Making nice?” 

* * *

 “Hah. I guess so..” Hide felt his smile fade, and stared into his coffee. “Some people might take it as that. But I still can’t help but remember you.”

 Hide looked up with a serene, loving smile, before catching himself. “Err, Kaneki, I mean. I can’t really explain it. I used to get bad feelings around people who would later turn out to be ghouls? But with Ken I never felt like that.”

 Hide laughs quietly to himself. “I guess I wasn’t really his type.”  _Of food._

* * *

 Haise let out a breath, quick and short, his heart feeling as if it had just come loose and started rattling around in his rib cage. His type? As in Hideyoshi was interested in Kanaki Ken? Romantically? Well that was quite interesting, he hadn’t even suspected that he may have had deeper feelings for Kaneki ken, which meant that he liked all of Kaneki, and apart of Kaneki was his body, and Haise was in that body, and oh-

  
The investigator swallowed thickly, fingers gripping his tea cup just a little too tightly, the glass breaking in to a few large pieces in his hand, shards wedging themselves in his palm. The pain of the hot coffee was the icing on the cake, but Haise would have to bet the heat in his cheeks was much hotter.  
  
“Ah-oh...shit…” he cursed letting go of the glass, the waitress rushing over with a dishcloth almost immediately “I mean...crap-uh” he grinned back at hide nervously, face still blazing “E-explain what a sugar daddy is?” the waitress scoffed, Haise not particularly caring that she was currently right there helping with this mess.  
  
Normally he wouldn’t even care if it _was_  sexual, but for some reason...this guy just got under his skin. He knew why...and didn’t like it….but it is what it is right?

* * *

 “Oh gosh!” Without even thinking about it, Hide reached over to grab the investigator’s hands “Are you okay? Jeez, I though that only happened in manga, holy cow.”

 It took a second for Haise’s words to catch up with his brain.

"Pffft, Oh my god,” Hide released one of Haise’s hand to clamp over his mouth, far too late to stifle his inelegant snort. “I thought you didn’t laugh at my joke because it wasn’t funny. It was just a dumb joke-” Hide waved his free hand extravagantly, as if that would help to make his case seem more credible. “I make these jokes all the time- with varying levels of seriousness- because I mean who would turn down a sugar daddy in this economy-”

 Hide sputtered a bit more, waiting for Touka to leave. Of course she gave him a knowing look before finally walking away...

 “Okay, a sugar daddy is...” Hide could feel his own cheeks heating up a brilliant red. “A sugar daddy is someone who takes care of you. Monetarily. In return for sex.”

Hide looked up at the ceiling, as if it would save him from this hole he has dug for himself. “Sorry I have such a terrible sense of humor, man this is awkward.” He still hasn’t let go of Haise’s hand. It felt...

Nice.

* * *

Haise laughed to himself as if he’d told a funny joke, only he hadn’t and at the moment little pieces of glass were hitting the table as his...abnormal body healed itself. He hid his hands from the waitress, an annoyed ‘tsk’ coming from her before she grabbed them away from Hide to wipe them clean. 

  
“At least let me get the blood off you” she hissed, Haise looking to her as he fought away the blush on his face. His stomach dropped when he got a look at her delicate features, muttering a  small thank you as she turned to leave.   
  
Without thinking Haise reached back across the table, eyebrows raised as he repeated Hideyoshi with a timid laugh “-In exchange for sex...really” his fingers grasped Hides, his laugh turning a bit dark as he tried to play along with Hideyoshi's humor “Well my shirt’s kinda ruined...so it looks like i’m the one in need of a sugar daddy at this point” his thumbs ran over the blondes knuckles, a small grin on his own face as he tried to bring the pleasant mood back.  
  
It must be so hard for Hideyoshi to sit here with someone who wasn’t Kaneki. He felt sorry for him...he felt like he was being cruel. He wanted to comfort him. Would Kaneki joke like this? 

* * *

 For a long moment, Hide just stared at Haise, mouth opening and closing like a fish. Then he burst out laughing hard enough to turn several heads.

 “Oh my god, ‘I’m the one in need of a sugar daddy’ that is priceless.” Hide wipes at the corner of his eye, still giggling maniacally. “You are too funny, oh my god. This is the best.”

 Hide rose and walked over to the counter, grabbed a few napkins, and returned to the table to wipe the blood from Haise’s hand. “Here, we should probably pay and go. Before we cause a bigger mess.”

 He glanced up to Haise with another bright smile. “You drove here, so you live far away, right? You can just borrow a shirt from me. I’ve got plenty back in my apartment.”

* * *

 Haise couldn’t help but laugh along with him, although his laughter was quite a bit quieter than the blondes. He let Hideyoshi clean the remaining blood from his hands, enjoying that giddy happiness that was yanked out from deep down inside, that laughter much to contagious not to join in. 

  
The waitress was no where in sight, so he couldn’t exactly apologise for the broken cup and spilled coffee, so he figured he could ask Hideyoshi to say sorry for him next time he dropped in.  
  
“Well...i’m not getting any dryer…” Haise smiled hesitantly “Should we go?” he rolled his shoulders, feeling like he was in a much better mood now “I mean..is it okay if i borrow a shirt? I live about half an hour away…” He could see why this man was a good friend to Kaneki. 

* * *

 Hide smiled charmingly. “What? Of course. This is the most I’ve laughed in ages, the least I can do is let you borrow a shirt.” The blond balled up the napkins, aimed for the trash bin… And missed entirely. He rushed to pick it up and dispose of it, feeling Touka’s glare burning a hole in his back. After paying for his coffee - “Don’t you know? It’s all the rage to go dutch on the first date!”- Hide began to walk back to his apartment.

 Outside, the day was beginning to draw to a close. The cool night breeze felt pleasant on Hide’s skin. For once, his shoulder wasn’t aching, and it could just be Hide’s imagination, but it felt like he could swing it farther than usual as he walked.

 Hide tried not to overthink it, and just strolled along in a comfortable silence.

* * *

 Hideyoshi was, dare he say it, kind of cute when he tried to score an ace with the bloody napkins. Once he’d missed, he ran up to put the litter in the proper receptacles, the waitress sending him a half-hearted glare before the other whisked him away and out of the shop.

  
Once again they walked in silence, only this time Haise's mind wasn't occupied by mutilated children and ghouls, but a rather a certain blonde. He wondered just how close him and Kaneki were. He wanted to know what that sort of relationship was, and he was curious about how Kaneki felt about Hideyoshi….  
  
Did they share food? Stories late at night? Clothes?  
  
And Hideyoshi had expressed interest in Kaneki in a romantic sense, so would they have…”moments?” Like in a novel or a movie where the two main characters would have this sexual tension you could cut with a knife.  
  
Was Kaneki even gay? is that why Hideyoshi wasn’t his type?  
  
Juuzou had told him countless times that gender should never really matter...but then again that guy didn’t even really have a specified gender, so what was Haise to know.  
  
Eventually the inspector was brought out of his thoughts, the cold night air chilling the coffee that soaked into his jacket and dress shirt, eyes flashing up at the apartments as Hideyoshi lead the way.  
  
“Do you think it’ll fit?” Haise wondered, looking from the blondes stocky form to his slender and lean one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~what this rp is totally not like 300 pages long what are you even talking about~~  
>  I am just reading through this a bit like wow Haise is so cute and innocent.  
> And then I remember the where we are currently in the rp where he is getting double penetrated with a kagune and dick and we have plans for a threesome with Tsukiyama  
> what happened  
> oh wait  
> I happened  
> B)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dad joke Hide is best Hide 2016

“Of course it will! Surprisingly I haven’t always been this mountain of raw muscle and abs you see before you today.” Hide winked (in a totally not flirtatious way, because Hide would _never_ he is not that kind of woman) goofily and made his way to his bedroom and closet.

 

Hmm. Not that one, not that, too big, too small… Ah, _perfect_.

 

“Here you are!” He said, tossing the shirt to Haise. “This one should definitely fit. In fact I’m pretty sure it was Kaneki’s at some point. Hah.” At that, his smile faded slightly.

 

“Hey, listen… could I get your number? I mean-” Hide panicked slightly. Curse his idiot mouth, always running off before he’d had a chance to think about it. “- in case you need to talk to me some more about that caretaker ghoul. Or Kaneki. Or anything really.”

Hide tried to hide the sudden flush creeping up his neck and face by not making eye contact. “This was seriously one of the best days I’ve had in a while, so…”

* * *

  
Haise followed after the other, a small smile on his face, though it was hidden behind thin fingers as the investigator tried to cover it up.

Hideyoshi both made him slightly embarrassed and bashful with his little wink, but Haise was starting to catch on to the others little jokes.

 

He was a good guy, and the fact he was being so friendly with someone...like him was almost mind boggling.

 

He caught the shirt effortlessly, holding it out to read the little message written on the front. A black t-shirt with "BYE BYE DOG" in huge yellow graffiti on the front.

 

He said nothing, heart aching as his head throbbed, Haise laying the shirt on Hideyoshi’s mattress before undoing the buttons on his own. He wasn't self conscious in the least, stripping himself of the stained dress shirt, standing partially naked a few feet away from someone who had harbored romantic feelings for the previous owner of his body.

 

He didn't leave himself exposed for too long, dropping the dress shirt on the wooden floor before reaching for the hideous shirt, pulling it over his head with ease.

 

His lean muscled torso was now hidden underneath a slightly clingy tee, Kaneki obviously having been a little less...built from whenever he'd left this with Hideyoshi.

 

He felt tense, staring down as he played with the hem, a sad smile that looked more like a grimace stretching over his lips.

 

"He had some poor choice in fashion" Haise whispered, looking to Hideyoshi with a tight expression. In truth he should have left a long time ago. He should have gotten what he needed and left, never looking back at this tie to the past.

 

He could feel just how much Hideyoshi wanted to be near him...no...not him, Kaneki...

 

He knew he wasn't him, but was that enough? Was that okay for Hideyoshi? Wouldn't he break? Would that laughter die away and leave nothing but silence in this poor man’s life.

 

He wasn't Kaneki...he never would be, but he wanted-"Yes"

 

He needed to be close to this man.

 

"Yeah I can give you my contact information. I don't mind" he watched the other for a moment, offering his own bright smile in an attempt to keep the mood light "I have yours so I'll text you"

 

Haise gathered his shirt from the floor, shivering at the thought of trying to get that stain out.

* * *

Hide looked away as Haise changed shirts. It’s not like he wanted to make it weird- they’re both guys after all, he’s got nothing Hide hasn’t already seen- but technically he’d just met Haise today. He didn’t know much about etiquette, but he was pretty sure it was rude to stare at a stranger getting shirtless.

 

At Haise’s comment on the shirt, Hide couldn’t help but snort. “Hey! I said it might be his! Don’t go insulting my taste in fashion! It’s pretty much indistinguishable from the rest of my wardrobe. I’m practically an anime protagonist over here!”

 

Slowly, his brain caught up to his mouth enough to catch Haise’s reply to his request. “... Oh, awesome! I mean, I have my phone so I can- yeah, never mind, you text me.” Hide can’t fight back a grin. “We should go out sometime soon. Maybe get- well, we probably shouldn’t get coffee. Maybe we should try something a little bit safer. How do you feel about-”

 

Hide racked his brain for something suitably silly. Ice cream’s out, the toy museum nearby got shut down last year, so that only leaves- “... water slides?”

* * *

Haise listened to the other excitedly talk, watching as the blonde animatedly threw his arms around, calmly folding his dirtied clothes before tucking it into his armpit. He almost choked at the suggestion. Him? At the water slides!? That was absurd! That was preposterous! that was down right insane! Unthinkable-”That sounds like fun! I’ve never been to a water park before, much less water slides.”

  
Did he just agree to go?  
  
 _‘Oh Haise what are you doing’_  He thought as he smiled at Hideyoshi, brows raised high on his head in genuine surprise at himself “Of course I have duties to the CCG first…” He ran his hand over his stomach, not really liking how the fabric was clinging to his skin.

* * *

“Aw man, _this is going to be so much fun_.”

_And Oh god did I pick out the right shirt sweet baby jesus-_

Trying not to ogle ~~too much~~ , Hide stepped closer, and put on his best, most serious expression. “Now go, young padawan. You have your mission.”

Hide can’t hold in his cackling for more than a few seconds, but when it comes it’s a deep from the belly laughter.

After calming down (and wiping the tears from his eyes- _man he is just so funny how can this much hilarity be contained in one person, Hide is God’s gift to comedians_ ), Hide shows Haise to the door, hovering nervously. He really didn’t want this ~~date~~ day to end.

“So when is your next day off, anyway?”

* * *

 Haise smiled, keeping his eyes on Hideyoshi as he was walked to the door. He grabbed his jacket before slipping on his shoes effortlessly, a small laugh bubbling up his throat once more as Hideyoshi's laughter died down. This guys was really something else.

  
“My next day off?” he repeated, glancing to the side before meeting the others gaze once more “I never really… have days off technically... but I’m sure i can figure something out,” he nodded reassuringly, hands clasping behind his back nervously as he contemplated his next move.  
  
The poor guy was hovering, and Haise assumed that much like himself, Hideyoshi wasn't quite sure how to say goodbye. It felt just he’d known him forever, and now that he thought of leaving, he really didn’t... want to…  
  
“Well…” Haise stepped closer, eyes soft yet determined, his fingers unwinding to allow his right hand to come up and gently place itself on Hideyoshi's cheek. In a second he’d kissed the other man, gently and carefully, lashes brushing against his cheeks as he close his eyes.  
  
It only lasted for a second, Haise letting his hand fall before he took a step back.  
  
He knew it probably didn’t mean anything coming from him, but Haise wanted...to try and give him something before he left .

 

“Kaneki Ken owed you that….or something.” He scratched his cheek before letting his fingers drag down to his chin. “Sorry if that was awkward... I’ll... be seeing you…” He smiled once more as he opened the door for himself “It was a pleasure meeting you, Hideyoshi,” And with that he left, a small frown marring his delicate features as he admitted to himself that he may have told a lie.  
  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Haise sat on the couch in the apartment, papers stacked before him, all filed and neatly organized. He’d been up all night, but honestly he couldn’t sleep. They’d found the ghoul kidnapping all those children in the night, and really it had all been thanks to the Hideyoshi guy.

  
“Hideyoshi Nagachika…” he muttered, looking over to his phone that sat a few inches away from the papers, the black device standing out like a sore thumb on the glossy red stained wood.  
  
“Sorry, what?”   
  
Haise blinked, looking to the side to see Saiko with a steaming mug in her hand, the girl wearing nothing but a nightgown despite it only being around two in the afternoon. Tooru and Ginshi sat over at the table behind her, Ginshi looking over curiously while Tooru minded his own business.   
  
“Ahh, just someone I met. It’s nothing.”  
  
The plump girl frowned a little, bringing the mug to her lips as she took a seat beside her mentor, Ginshi leaning even further back in his chair as to hear what they were saying.  
  
Haise cleared his throat as she scooted closer, smiling nervously as she stared deep in to his eyes, all the while continuing to drink what he assumed to be hot chocolate. As she was taking a particularly long slurp he sighed, a “What?” escaping his lips in a rather annoyed tone.  
  
“If it was just someone you met, you wouldn’t be dreamily sighing his name to yourself!” the corners of her mouth quirked up, and at this moment Haise knew that this girl could possibly be even more dangerous than their little Urie.  
  
“-Ehh…” he swallowed, leaning away from her with his hands up in defensive “I wasn’t dreamily sighing anything!”  
  
“Maaaaaman you’re lying!” She smirked to herself, Ginshi finally making his way over to lean on the back of the couch.  
  
“Lying about what?”  
  
Haise groaned, covering his face with his hands as he tried to speak sternly “You kids are too nosey!”

 

“Sasan, what’s she talking about?”  
  
Haise huffed, clapping his hands before reaching for his cell. It had been almost three weeks since he’d spoken to Hideyoshi. He never really intended to see him again, in fact he’d wanted to just forget and continue on with the case, but with Saiko teasing him like this he was actually….feeling a little bad.  
  
“It was just a person I met a while ago. One Nagachika Hideyoshi.” He muttered holding up his phone to display a number.  
  
“That’s the name in the book you lent me right?” Tooru said from beside his head, Haise quickly turning to look at the usually quiet student who had suddenly appeared by the couch. He hadn’t even noticed him come over.   
  
“U...uhm yeah”  
  
“Is he nice?” Saiko asked, putting her mug down before leaning in, snatching his phone away to inspect the characters on the display.  
  
“Yeah...I guess so,” he laughed, hand hovering, the mentor really just wanting to take the phone back before the girl could start snooping “He... invited me to go to the water slides.”  
  
“What!?” Ginshi exclaimed “I want to go!”  
  
“When?” Saiko's eyes hone, Tooru leaning in just a bit closer.  
  
Haise grimaced, looking down at the floor as he now really felt bad “A little over three weeks ago”  
  
“A month!?” Saiko stared at him owlishly, his other two students groaning in response.  
  
“Three weeks!” he held up three fingers just so the girl would get the point, but in the next few seconds he found his hand full of a shiny phone and the dial tone sounding for them all the hear “-What-” He stared incredulously at the girl who was too close for comfort, slamming his thumb down on the red phone button “Why did you-” Haise blinked, staring down at his phone as it blooped.  
  
Saiko smirked, Ginshi and Tooru leaning in even closer to stare down at the screen. "I knew you’d do that,” She laughed a little before getting up, her hands on her hips. “So I texted him already.”  
  
Haise choked, staring down at a little green “Hey sexy thing” he’d sent 40 seconds ago apparently, Hideyoshi's icon appearing to be in the process of typing.  
  
“That’s not funny” Haise went red in the face, quickly sending ‘That wasn’t me!’  
  
“I’m glad I messaged him! You can’t leave a guy hanging for a month!”  
  
“Three weeks!” Haise stood with her, his wards scattering in all directions as the investigator's arms raised above his head in some menacing way.

* * *

“Manager, I’m taking a lunch!” Hide called, flipping the light off on his cash lane. Nine hour shifts were the worst. Jesus his feet were killing him. Hobbling to the back door and onto the break room chair, Hide flopped down with a sigh. Unfortunately the movement (or rather, the heavy reams of paper he had helped a customer carry to their car a few hours before) caused an intense pain to shoot through his shoulder and Hide can’t help but curl inward on himself with a hiss.

It felt like an eternity before the shooting stabs of phantom pain ebb, but when Hide glanced at the clock he saw he’d only missed ten minutes of his thirty-five minute lunch break. With a groan, Hide rose to his aching feet and lumbered over to the community fridge and began microwaving the leftovers he’d brought in this morning for exactly this purpose. While he waited for it to finish heating, Hide escaped back to the chair and pulled out his phone.

“Unknown number?” Hide murmured aloud. A missed call. And a text.

 

_Hey sexy thing_

_That wasn’t me!_

 

“What.” Hide deadpanned.

He replied with the first thing that pops into his mind.

 

_“hey wasn’t me i’m dad”_

* * *

Haise had chased Saiko back to the kitchen table where she begged him not to make her spill her precious liquefied chocolate, Huffing before looking back down at the text that had been sent back to him. His brows furrowed, lip jutting out as he scratched his cheek, quickly holding up the phone for Saiko to see once more.

  
The movement had been so fast that the cobalt-haired girl flinched, staring at her mentor, confused, before slowly approaching to read the reply herself.  
  
“What does that even mean…”  
  
“... What a lame joke.” Saiko deadpanned before downing the rest of her drink, “I changed my mind- don’t talk to that guy,” she turned to move into the kitchen, Tooru taking his original seat from before where Ginshi had vanished completely.  
  
“I cant do that, you already texted him!” Haise complained as he sat across from Tooru “What do I even say to that…” he wondered, staring at the phone.  
  
Before he could even say anything, Tooru reached over the table, his slender finger pressing the call button.  
  
Haise panicked, eyes going wide, his thumb moving to hang up as fast as he could. Unfortunately Haise's luck wasn't so lucky this time, and Hideyoshi appeared to have answered almost immediately.   
  
Swallowing thickly, and after hearing a muffled hello, he brought the phone to his ear.  
  
“H...Hello? It’s Haise Sasaki…”

* * *

Hide was the best at using technology. He was so good, in fact, that he totally never became so startled at someone calling him that he would accidentally hit “accept call”. And he wouldn’t ever be so thrown off by this happening that he would forget how cellphones work and direct his, “Um, Hello?” to the room at large. Hide was _so good at all the technology he could barely handle it._

Remembering that he was in fact a modern teenager who had used one of these magic talking boxes before, Hide held the phone up to his face.

_“H- Hello? It’s Haise Sasaki…”_

At that voice, a mix of emotions stirred within Hide. A bit of worry, a dollop of happiness, a few large spoonful of hurt, and just a few sprinkles of anger all mix together in the pot of I-just-worked-4-hours-and-I-am-going-to-have-to-work-5-more into a big heaping stew of _so done with this middle-school bullshit._

“Sorry, the number you are trying to reach has disconnected. Please hang up and try again.” And hit end call.

 

… It took approximately three seconds for him to regret the sass. So much for being a mature adult. _Why did Hide’s brain always work so much slower than his mouth????_

* * *

Haise blinked. Once, twice, then brought the phone away from his face to stare at it.

  
“Hello?” he sounded a bit confused, bringing it back to his ear once more before frowning at the dial tone “Well... he hung up on me”  
  
“Oh you’re in trouble, Maman,” Saiko chimed, coming over to sit beside Tooru. “I’d hang up on you too.” She licked her lips, stirring the hot chocolate.  
  
Haise gulped, staring at his phone as his stomach dropped, Tooru clicking his tongue as the air around him seemingly got dimmer. He could feel all this guilt swallowing him up, heart pounding in his chest as his thumb hovered over the call button once more.  
  
“Just say you’re sorry,” Tooru tapped his fingers on the table “I mean, you are sorry right?”  
  
Haise felt like the child in the room, looking up shyly at the two kids sitting across from him before nodding slowly.  
  
“Text him,” Saiko smiled, feeling a little bad for making her mentor go through this, but really Haise had to man up and take care of things.  
  
With another nod, Haise went to the earlier text, quickly sending a reply that said-  
  
 _‘I’m really sorry Hideyoshi’_  
  
 _‘Can I call again?’_

* * *

At the microwave’s ding, he got up to stir his leftover curry. No steam. Ehh, whatever, it’s not like it’s the first time he'd had cold curry and rice because he was too impatient and hungry to wait for it to finish cooking.

His phone buzzed. He ignored it, shuffling over to the cupboards and fishing out a cheap plastic spoon.

His phone buzzed again as he sat down, but he tried his best to ignore it. He really didn’t want to deal with this, not now when he was exhausted from work- and still had five hours to go, his brain helpfully reminded him- and he just couldn’t get over this sinking feeling that it was going to be Kaneki all over again.

Then again, Kaneki had never kissed him on the lips. Or even had the thought of doing so.

Hide sighed, resigned himself to only eating half of his lunch, and picked up his phone. Three texts, with the last being a long, rambling apology. Well, it was better than nothing.

Hide scrolled down to the bottom of his text messages and stared at the last sentence.

 

_Can I call you again?_

 

Only one thing came to mind, and it had never ~~worked for~~ failed him before.

_“I don’t know, can you?”_

* * *

Haise snorted, not sure if he should laugh, because even when Hideyoshi was obviously mad …. he was still entertaining. Haise wasn't even sure if he should respond to that, so instead he looked to Saiko who only motioned with her hand for him to speak.

  
“He said, ‘I don’t know, can you?’ ....”  
  
“That one’s better!” Saiko smirked, Tooru nodding in agreement. “So call him! Maybe he wont hang up on you this time.”  
  
Haise 'tsk’d' sending the girl an almost-pout before pressing the little green display button, bringing the phone to his ear once more. When Hideyoshi picked up, his mouth seemed to move on it’s own, a quiet, “I figured it out”.  
  
Funny Haise.  
  
“And now he’s gone and blew it,” Saiko whispered, her forehead gently touching the table as Tooru sighed.

* * *

 _Yes_. Hide is the best at technowhosacology. Just call him the techno wizard. And hand him a power glove. He might be a bit bad at this.

“So, uhh, not to rush you or anything but I’m on break right now and I have like-” Ten ‘till. “-five minutes left to chat. So, what did you wanna talk about? Because if you’re dumping me hang on, I’m pretty sure there’s some chocolate ice cream in the freezer.”

 Okay, ouch. Hide really needed to learn not to joke about things which actually hurt to admit.

* * *

“I-” Haise's mouth popped open, voice coming out a little louder than he would have liked, so he tried again only he was practically whispering this time. “I’m not... _dumping you,_ ” He turned away from his wards as if that would prevent them from hearing anything.  
  
“ooo-” Saiko cooed, glancing at Tooru who only smiled slightly in return.  
  
Haise felt like he wanted to launch himself over the table and cover both their mouths while he spoke to Hideyoshi, even if only one of them was really making any noise; better safe than sorry.  
  
“I’ll make it quick then... I... umm,” he swallowed, looking to Saiko as she made kissy faces at him. “I’d... like to make it up to you... For you know... not calling you,” He had six minutes left. “So... umm…”  
  
“Dinner?” Tooru muttered, not really talking to Haise, but to Saiko.  
  
“Take him to dinner,” The blunette confirmed with a solid nod.  
  
“I’d like... to take you to dinner... have plans?” He cringed at the thought of food, but to make it up to Hideyoshi, he was sure he could endure.

* * *

“What, tonight? Well- “ Sitting alone in his living room and staring at his television until he passed out. The same as the rest of the week and well into the foreseeable future, or at least until the manager finally hired someone else and cut him back down to part-time again. Man, Hide was not sure if he wanted that to happen or not.

 Wait, what was he talking about again? “Umm… Nooo? Wait, I thought food made Kaneki sick. We don’t need to eat out- “ don’t think about something dirty don’t think about something dirty “- if you don’t rim to. WANT to, oh my god.” Hide couldn’t fight down a snort at his own freudian slip, and not even Haise’s noise of confusion can make him stop. “Honestly, I was just going to go home and watch a movie-” Hide’s memory suddenly flashed back to that evening on his doorway, the gentle hand against his cheek, the warm lips pressed against his own; “- but I, umm, wouldn’t mind going out to see one. To the theater. With you.”

 Hide glanced up at the clock. Shit, only three minutes left. “Gotta go, bye!”

Ignoring Haise’s “Wait-!” Hide hangs up, and begins cleaning up his half-eaten lunch. This whole friendly flirting thing was much easier when he didn’t have to worry about his neck and face going a hot crimson.

* * *

Haise sat there wide eyed and confused, staring at the phones grey “call ended” screen.   
“Rim to?” he muttered to himself, thinking that it had to be something sexual in nature for Hideyoshi to get all flustered like that.  
  
“So?” Saiko asked curiously, Tooru leaning in expectantly.

  
“No... dinner… But a movie?”  
  
Saiko cooed once more as the darker skinned girl asked “When”  
  
“No idea, he...didn’t say”  
  
“Well set a date. Ask him what he wants to see”  
  
Haise sighed, texting the blonde with a question of when and where he’d like to go, offering to pick him up since he had a car “He won’t even see this before tonight…”

* * *

Just as he was about to leave the breakroom, Hide felt a buzz in his pocket.

 _“When and where would you like to go? What movie do you want to see?”_ Hide facepalmed. So that’s what Haise was trying to ask him. Hide is the best at social interactions, it is him.

Hide fired a quick text back before heading back to work.

_“idk i get off at 5 lol you pick”_

* * *

Haise looked from the text to the stack of papers on the table. Akira should be back in her office around 4:45 so he had to get those to her but…. Hideyoshi…  
  
“Tooru will take care of that!” Saiko volunteered her fellow investigator with a smile, Tooru looking saying a small ‘Hey!’ before reluctantly agreeing.  
  
“Thank you,” Haise smiled, placing his phone back on to the table “I appreciate it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Water slides I am a fucking genuis
> 
> TP: Oh god all my spelling mistakes, misgendering tooru by accident, i am so sorry


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jfc when did I actually remember that Haise does not know Hide's nickname  
> this is getting ridiculous  
> 

It was 5:10, and Haise stood outside the convenience store that Hideyoshi worked at. He wasn’t looming by the door or anything, he was just leaning against his car, parked not too far down the street. He trusted the database to have people’s information,  but perhaps it was wrong this time. Maybe Hideyoshi wasn’t employed here…  
  
He pulled the knee length black jacket tighter around himself, wishing he’d brought one that buttoned up. He wore his usual striped dress pants, and courtesy of the thievery skills of Saiko, he adorned yet another graphic tee that he again...did not really understand. He’d seen neither of his boys in it before, so he was praying that it was anyone’s but Urie’s.   
  
“Ah-” Haise pushed off the car, waving over at the familiar form of Hideyoshi who’d just left the store “Over here!” 

* * *

 “Thank you, have a nice night!” Hide called as the customer rushed off. Rude, didn’t even wait for their receipt to finish printing. Hide made to reach for his squirt bottle to wipe off his belt (a kid had spilled some powdered sugar a few minutes ago, and the flecks were starting to bug him) when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

 “Hi,” purred the manager’s cousin, fluttering her eyelashes.

 Thank god Hide a legitimate excuse to leave as soon as possible without being too rude. “Oh, hey. You’re taking over for me? Awesome. I’m meeting a friend.”

 She pouted. “Not a girl, I hope.”

 Not this shit again. “No, but if the night goes well I might just be get to second base with him!” Feeling just the slightest swell of satisfaction at seeing her jaw drop, Hide raced off to the break room to grab his things. Waving to the manager on his way out, Hide quickly checked his phone. No new messages.

 Well, that’s fine. That could mean any number of things. Like maybe he’d just decided to meet him at his apartment ~~or maybe he’s decided to abandon him again~~ -

 “Over here!”

….Or maybe he’d decided to follow him to his work. Okay then.

“Woah, I figured I’d have to at least record a couple CD’s before I got stalkers. Turns out I just needed to hit up the CCG!” Hide forced a laugh, trying not to seem awkward. Oh god, this was a terrible idea. All he could think about was the warmth of his lips- Hide coughed into his fist, praying that the flush creeping up his neck wasn’t too noticeable.

 “So, umm, I’ve been standing for almost nine hours straight and my feet are killing me. Please tell you parked nearby.” 

* * *

 Haise found himself smiling sheepishly, cheeks warming a little at his obvious invasion of personal space. He’d just casually leave out all the knowledge and possession of medical and education records. 

  
“This-” he motioned to the small grey car that he’d been leaning on a few moments ago, “Is my car. So you should still be breathing by the time you reach the passenger door” Haise laughed a little, popping open the driver's side “The door should be open”  
  
His smile faded, grey eyes catching the black ones of a huffy looking girl who’d come out of the store. She stood there with her arms crossed over her chest, glaring at him before looking longingly after Hideyoshi.   
  
Haise narrowed his eyes as he bit his lip in an attempt to hold back his laughter. Hideyoshi seemed to have an admirer. He thought that maybe he should call out and ask if she wanted to come too, but to tell the truth he wanted Hideyoshi alone... to himself. He needed to apologize after all.  
  
Climbing in the car, he waited for Hideyoshi to get in as well, watching with a tight expression as the other would hopefully put on his seat belt. “I really would like to take you to dinner. Maybe after the movie?” He swallowed, fingers flexing on the steering wheel “The kids are always raving about this... umm... my students are always raving about this one restaurant. It’s not fancy from the sounds of things, but it’s nice enough, I think.”  
  
-even though he couldn’t eat anything, it still looked… appetizing? He wasn’t sure why he thought so, but it was almost as if at one point he would have liked to eat it.

* * *

 “Was… Was that a joke?” Hide grinned ~~flirtatiously~~ , “We might just make a comedian out of you yet.”

 Hide scrambled into the vehicle, completely oblivious to the interactions between his not-date and not-love interest.

 “Future car,” Hide whispered, running his hands along the smooth dashboard and the shiny touchscreen display. Hide may know absolutely nothing about cars, but that doesn’t mean he won’t recognize a _car from the future_. Now if only they could invent a bike with a cool display like that…

 So immersed was he in his Squidward “FUTURE” observations, Hide almost missed when Haise began talking to him.

 “Hmm, sure. I haven’t really been all that hungry lately so I might not-” Hide’s eyes widened as the second part of the sentence sunk in. “Wait- Kids? Are you a single mom now, Haise? A single lady? Should I have brought a ring?” 

* * *

 “I like how you assume I’m single,” Haise smiled as he whispered under his breath, the car roaring to life before the investigator pulled out into the street “-No Hideyoshi, I’m not a single mom” his eyebrows raised high on his forehead, flicking his blinker to turn left at an upcoming interesction before speaking again “They’re not my kids. The CCG doesn’t consider them to be children but…” He smiled fondly as he glanced at the blonde from the corner of his eye “It’s kinda hard to not parent them you know?” 

  
Hideyoshi probably didn’t know, and Haise himself wasn’t sure if “parent” was even the right word. He tried his best to be their friend...look after them...be there if they needed to talk. That’s all Haise expected of his makeshift parents.   
  
“They really are hopeless sometimes,” the grin faltered “But they mean well. Saiko... a bit of an odd ball, you can thank her for the text. I’ve been so busy lately, and we’re so close to catching that bastard with…. I just lost track of time” He swallowed knowing that wasn’t really the truth, but it wasn’t a lie either; he really was starting to go mad with that caretaker ghoul on the loose “... Regardless... I’m very sorry” They came to a red light, Haise turning to stare into honey brown eyes, a serious expression now on his face. 

* * *

 Hide flashed a quick smile. “Well I should hope you’re single, otherwise we’d be scandalizing poor old Mrs. Haruka. Can’t have my neighbors calling me a homewrecker.”

 After the small smile and head shake that comment received, Hide fell silent as the half-ghoul spoke about his … “kids”.

 It gave him an unexplainable warm feeling, seeing Haise speak so fondly of his students. He seemed so happy like this, galaxies away from the desperate, half-mad creature Kaneki had been the last time he’d seen him-

 The car pulled up to a stop at a redlight. Haise came forward with why he’d been ignoring Hide.

 Hide’s mouth twitched into the slightest smile when he noticed that Haise still couldn’t tell a lie without brushing the edge of his chin, but he quickly became serious, trying to think of how best to word his feelings.

“I still haven’t completely forgiven you,” Hide began slowly, carefully weighing each word. “That was really rude, even if you hadn’t… You know. But if I stopped being friends with Kaneki every time he ignored me for months, I wouldn’t be here.”

 Hide hesitated for a moment before elaborating. It’s not like Haise wouldn’t have found out eventually anyway. “I would probably be dead and missing along with the rest of my unit. Apparently they ran into some pretty tough ghouls. But I just had to go and find…” Hide trailed off and stared out the window. Just call Hide the Captain of Sads. It is him.

 

Luckily, the heavy atmosphere was broken by a car loudly honking behind them. “Light’s green,” Hide chirped (un)helpfully.

* * *

 His mouth went dry, Haise ripping his eyes from the blond as he spoke, eyes fixated on the light. His stomach felt like it was going to come up his throat, mind reeling as static rang in his ears, nails biting in to the black leather of the steering wheel once again.

  
Kaneki was really amazing...terrifying.  
  
When the light changed he really hadn’t seen it, or rather it didn’t register until a horn blazed behind him and Hideyoshi ‘cheerfully’ told him that it was now green. He blinked quickly, foot gently pressing the gas, the car lurching forward before tearing off down the road once again.   
  
The theater should be just up the bend…  
  
“Hopefully I can make it up to you with time” he pressed his tongue to the back of his teeth, his lips pressed in to a thin line “I’m…. not... Kaneki so-” he took a deep breath “-I hope I can be a good friend to you Hideyoshi. I mean that”

* * *

“Thanks.” Hide hesitated. He’d just gotten out of the sads, perhaps he should hold off on bringing up the awkward? Of what the hell they were doing?? because friends (or at least his friends) did not normally kiss each other??? on the mouth???? But even at merely the thought of discussing such a thing, Hide could feel the heat threatening to creep up his neck and drown his face in redness.

No, that discussion could wait until they are somewhere alone. In the dark. Together. Where Hide can take Haise’s face in his hands and kiss him properly-

 

“So, uhh, your friend Saiko sent that text? How did that even come up?” Hide grinned slightly maniacally in his desperate subject change.

* * *

Haise checked his mirrors before pulling in to the parking lot to the theater, his brakes silent as he slowed coming down into the underground “O-oh umm…” he held up his hand in a motion to tell Hideyoshi to wait a moment, the investigator smiling at the lot attendant and she directed him to follow the yellow arrows to the third level.  
  
Haise stepped on the gas again, cheek just tinted red as he laughed to himself, “Apparently I was…”whispering your name like some love struck school girl”...” He grinned timidly “Or... something like that. Honestly I was just thinking about you-”   
  
His eyes widened a little pulling in to a parking space before slamming on the brakes “-I mean... like.. I just thought about you-suddenly- I hadn’t thought about you before that-”   
  
That was worse.  
  


He was digging himself a hole here.  
  
“-Not that I hadn’t thought of you before…” he licked his lips, fingers hurriedly turning the keys to shut off the engine “Really…”

* * *

“Not that I like you like that, b-baka,” Hide murmured thoughtfully.

 “What?” replied Haise, confused.

 “What?”

 “You just said something. Under your breath.”

 “No I didn’t. Your hearing must be going bad. Must be from taking care of all those crying kids all day, I guess. So, who’s the father?” Hide is beginning to suspect he has a problem. A punny problem. “And also what movie are we going to see?” He called out as an afterthought as he exits the passenger side door. 

* * *

 Haise sent him a dubious and half hearted glare as he exited the car, gently closing his door before walking around to lead Hideyoshi to the elevators. He really didn’t understand half this guys jokes, but he overlooked it for the ones he /did/ get.

  
“I was thinking we could figure that out when we’re there,” they entered the elevator, Haise leaning against the silver wall before pressing the button to main floor. “As for the father...I’m not sure. Usually children in the CCG don’t have them... that’s why... they’re there” he made a little motion with his hand “Are you trying to imply I'm a single mother again,” he smiled knowingly, not sure if he was okay with that or not. 

* * *

 Hide grinned mischievously. “You are a single mother, there is no implication. It’s okay, bae, I’m great with kids. Hell, I babysat Kaneki for a good ten years!” Snorting at his own stupid joke, Hide lead the way into the theaters.

 Luckily, it was a Wednesday night, so it wasn't very crowded inside. In fact, there looked to be only two or three other people apart from themselves, so it would be reasonable to assume they could have any movie they chose to themselves.

 Hide looked at their choices. Some kid’s movie about an ice princess, that one superhero sequel he’d been meaning to see, and some weird post-apocalyptic action movie that he was pretty sure was thirty years old. Everything else he’s already seen. Hide listed their choices to Haise and gestured to the ticket counter. “Ladies first, darling.”

* * *

Haise raised his brow, gaze lingering on the presented movies before moving to the ticket counter, glancing at Hideyoshi with the smallest of playful scowls “Two tickets for Mad Max.” He held up his hand, two fingers displayed to represent him and Hideyoshi.   
  
“Well I’m glad I got away from my _children_ to take you out on a date,” Haise handed to cashier a bill, taking his tickets and change in turn. “I should have brought you flowers or chocolate or something now that i think about it” Haise leaned in a little close, lips only an inch from the blondes ear “-now lets go, Mr. Babysitter, the movies on in ten minutes.”   
  
He breathed a laugh, an innocent smile spreading on his lips as Haise pulled away to walk towards the snack counter.

* * *

 At the ‘children’ comment, Hide opens his mouth to make a joke, but he was interrupted by Haise leaning close, so close and whispering in his ear. And walking away to leave Hide staring at the ticket girl, a beet-red flush quickly rising up his neck and face. Trying to ignore her snickering, Hide dug into his pockets for his wallet and raced after Haise.

 “Oh no! If you get the tickets then I have to get the snacks. I’m pretty sure it’s a law somewhere. Probably America. And you have to bring a gun to the theater.”

 Hide walked up to the counter, and prepared to order two popcorns, when he remembers- shit, Haise probably doesn’t eat snacks. Twisting backwards, Hide narrowed his eyes and pouted. “This was a setup. Can you actually get anything from here? They have-” Hide glanced up at the menu. “- water.” 

* * *

 Haise touched his lips as he laughed, telling the young man behind the counter that he had an allergy to popcorn, so if he could please make the order one popcorn and two drinks, one of them being water where the other could be any drink of Hideyoshis choice.

 “I couldn't in good conscious let you pay.” Haise pulled yet another bill from his small black wallet, the little leather slip no thicker than a piece of cardboard. “I am the one who wanted to take you out.”

The boy behind the counter blushed slightly, Haise smiling at him nervously as they made the exchange of money for food and drink.  
  
“Shall we?” he looked to the small lineup forming outside theatre number 3, Mad max displayed on the digital board above the large doors. 

* * *

 “But- I- _ugh._ ” Hide and the cashier exchanged a knowing look. “ _Men_. You feel me?”

 The cashier gave him a panicked look. "Uhhh-”

Close enough. Hide sighed theatrically and ~~pretend~~ sullenly stomps behind Haise up to the theater.

 “Okay, fine, but we sit in the back.” 

Haise glanced back at him, confused. “Why the back?”

  ~~Because no one would be able to see us there.~~ “Because I like sitting in the back.”

 Ugh, Hide’s feet were already starting to ache again. As soon as the doors opened, Hide (gently) pushed inside and scrambled up to the very back of the theater, smack dab in the middle of the row. The blond patted the seat beside him encouragingly.

* * *

 Haise followed after Hideyoshi with a curious expression, wondering to himself if they were going to be able to even see the movie from way back there. The first three rows in front of them were empty, then as it got further to the front people were littered here and there. The five first rows were packed, people shoulder to shoulder, happily chatting to each other. He leaned forward a little, sipping his cold water as the ads flashed on the screen.

  
“Good thing i have good eyes” he set his water down, leaning back to sit in silence as the movie started.  
  
\- - - - - - - - - -

 It was forty five minutes in and Haise had already been disgusted at least three times. The movie was grotesque, but he really couldn’t look away as the countless and constant action literally exploded before his eyes.

He leaned a little towards Hideyoshi, looking from the now dark-and-cool-blue colored movie to whisper in his ear. “What do you think so far?”  
He hoped that Hideyoshi was enjoying this movie a bit more than he was.

* * *

 Hide looked at him with a face that could only be described as “:D”.

 “This is the best movie I have ever seen did you see that flaming guitar, oh em gee.”

 Hide went back to staring at the screen for a few moments, when a thought crossed his mind. About why exactly Haise (a very polite, quiet person) would interrupt a movie just to ask him a question.

 Hide gave him the side-eye, and whispered, “Why, did you have a better activity in mind?”

 Haise probably couldn’t see it in the darkened theater, but Hide waggled his eyebrows suggestively nonetheless. 

* * *

 Haise went red, eyes widening slightly as he whipped his head back to stare at the screen. “N-no I just…. wanted to know if you liked the movie…” -since he wasn't particularly enjoying it.

  
Other activities? Was Hideyoshi suggesting they press their faces together like a pair of hormonal teens? Because if he was, Haise wasn’t sure if he was particularly against the idea. He had this warm feeling in his stomach, like a flutter of butterflies-only they were on fire. It wasn't far off from being _hungry_ ….

 This felt slightly different though, so Haise had no worries about ripping this poor man to shreds. Not that he would... with anyone.

* * *

 Even in the darkened, theater, Hide could just sense Haise turning red.

 _Okay, I guess I can see why people tend to hit on me when I blush. That_ is _pretty cute_.

Almost unconsciously, Hide found himself leaning closer towards the half-ghoul.

 “It’s okay,” he whispers, before his mind can truly think it over. “I’m not going to attack you, or anything.” 

 

Struck by a sudden impulse, Hide brought his hand up to Haise’s chin, turning it to face him.

Hide’s eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to the way Haise licks his lips nervously.

“I’m just returning the favor.” High on adrenaline from his fantastic movie, Hide found himself pressing his lips against a frozen Haise’s.

_well, fuck. There goes the only friendship I’ve made in months…_

* * *

 Haise could feel it coming, the hand on his chin, the soft spoken words that he swore if he didn't have superior hearing to a human he would have never caught over the loud roar of explosions from the movie. 

  
For some reason he still felt this zing of shock run up his spine, as if he hadn’t been expecting it, but really it was as if the world was moving in slow motion as Hideyoshi moved to press their lips together.  
  
He sat frozen for a second, pupils narrowed, and breathing shallow. Returning the favor…  
  
Haise swallowed, tongue poking out reflexively to wet his lips in a nervous gesture, only since Hideyoshis mouth was in the way Haise had only ended up licking him. His eyes widened even more, to the point where he thought they may have become the size of dish plates. As fast as his embarrassment came, Haise found his hands coming up to grab Hideyoshi's face, fingers running back through the blond's silken locks, nails dragging along his scalp ever so slowly. His eyes now screwed shut, brows knitting together as he fully turned to face Hideyoshi in his seat, a small low rumbling vibrating in his chest.  
  
Haise had no idea how much he’d apparently craved this contact, in fact he wasn't even sure if it was a part of him that was screaming for more, all he knew is that he had to have it.

* * *

 Hide couldn’t help but let out a soft moan as Haise’s tongue brushed his lips. God, this was a thousand times better than he remembered. The half-ghoul’s lips were soft and sweet as they moved in an unspoken rhythm with his own, and the warm feeling of their faces connecting, combined with the half-ghoul’s lovely smell…. It was intoxicating.

 Hide could feel a twist in his lower half, but he quickly pushed that out of his mind. This was only the second date, after all. Hide was not that kind of girl.

 But he began to strongly reconsider that as Haise threaded his fingers through his hair and deepened the kiss.

 Hide gently bit at Haise’s bottom lip, inciting a groan from him and that

That had the downstairs peaking up in interest.

 Nevertheless, Hide fought down his interest as best he could, and deepened the kiss.

* * *

 Haise broke apart from Hideyoshi for a single moment, gulping down a breath of air before pressing an open mouthed kiss to the others chin. A normal human would have described the taste of skin to be salty, but Haise found it to be the exact opposite. usually a ghoul wouldn’t know how to explain what a human would taste like, at least not on human terms, but Haise knew. He felt like he knew this taste. Savory. _Human._

 He sighed contently, left hand sliding down Hideyoshi's cheek to grip his jaw, the right hooking on to the back of his head. Haise gently yet powerfully made Hideyoshi open his mouth, the half ghouls tongue slipping in almost immediately.

He inhaled deeply through his nose, trying his best to hold in a low moan that threatened to escape his throat, Haise unashamedly thinking that Hideyoshi tasted absolutely divine.

* * *

 Hide couldn’t help but let out a gasp as Haise began nibbling at his neck and this-

This was not how he pictured this meeting would go. Okay, yes, he’d had fantasies about necking with Kaneki in the back of a theater when he was a young and horny teenager, but he’d never pictured it would be this… public. It’s undeniably sexy, and Hide was beginning to think he may have a bit of an exhibitionist streak, but the way he can totally tell the other patrons can hear (and a of the few who glance back at them, see) them is starting to freak him out the tiniest bit.

 Not to mention the movie being unfairly distracting.

 Even as Haise met his mouth again for an open-mouthed kiss, Hide couldn’t help but keep his eyes open, watching the movie. It wasn’t long before his distraction affected the kiss, causing Haise to make a soft noise of displeasure at Hide’s faltering rhythm.

 “Sorry,” Hide whispered, breaking from the kiss, “This is the good part. What if they crash and die?”

* * *

 Haise groaned, feeling slightly annoyed that Hideyoshi was getting distracted from this. What WAS this anyway. He was really getting in to this, and _why_ he didn't really know.

 Haise pulled away, looking to the screen in a daze, tongue slowly dragging along his bottom lip.

 What was he doing.

 "I don't really care either way" Haise was out of it, his voice a mere whisper, the taste of Hideyoshi still in his mouth "I mean..." He swallowed taking a deep breath as he released the blonde "-no I'm sorry-" he blinked rapidly, gluing his gaze to the screen once more.

 His face felt like it was on fire.

 What the hell possessed him to do that?!

 It was like instinct...

 Like it wasn't even him...

 "I don't know what's happening" Haises voice cracked a little, stomach dropping.

* * *

 “Oh,” Hide’s voice dropped to a whisper as he leaned in close. “See, right now they’re driving through the desert, and their allies keep getting picked off one-by-one, and-”

 Hide suddenly noticed Haise’s look of exasperation. “Oh, you meant- um, sorry. Do you want to go outside and talk?

 “...Or, I guess you could just leave if you don’t want to see me anymore.” Hide’s voice trailed off into a mumble.

 As if suddenly noticing their closeness, and how that could make someone uncomfortable, Hide scooted back into his chair, scratching at his shoulder nervously.

* * *

 The investigator let his eyes linger on the screen before slowly looking over to Hideyoshi. His cheeks were red as a tomato, and he was embarrassed about his...actions "Why wouldn't I want to see you anymore" Haises body unconsciously leaned in, following Hideyoshi as he tried to create space between them "I..." He swallowed, eyebrows twisting in confusion. "I've just... never done... that" he chose his words carefully, motioning between them.

 He'd really never done anything like that. Honest to god. He'd seen kissing and the occasional sex scene from movies and shows the kids watched, but never had he actually wanted or thought about actually doing anything like that. He wasn't even sure how he knew HOW to kiss Hideyoshi, but he HAD, and it confused him indefinitely.

 "I don't want to leave" he breathed, not even sure if Hideyoshi could hear him "I want to take you to dinner still"

* * *

 Oh. _Oh._

“Hey, it’s fine,” Hide laughed softly, hesitantly inching closer. “I’ve never kissed a boy either, so, you know.” _In a public theater_ , He added mentally. The blond shrugged a little too forcefully and let out a small wince. Why did Hide always seem to forget he was injured when he was around Haise? A mystery for the ages.

 After a moment’s hesitation, Hide wrapped an arm around Haise, and sighed softly at the latter’s noise of surprise.

 “Is this… okay?” Hide asked shyly.

* * *

 Haise rubbed his hands on his legs, stiffening as Hideyoshi wrapped an arm around him, asking him if it was okay. The investigator swallowed, relaxing into his chair as he welcomed the warmth from the other.

  
He didn’t expect the blonde to have kissed another boy before, but that would mean he’d kissed girls wouldn’t it? Was it okay for them to kiss? Had Haise been...bad at it?  
For his first try, and although his mind had been a little clouded, he was particularly impressed with how well he’d done. Then again, he was also terrified over the fact that his lips and hands just started moving by themselves.  
  
“It’s... fine” Haise blinked as the crew made their way to something they were calling the ‘green place’, the actors starting to give their last lines as the movie began to draw to a close. “But you’re a little late,” he smiled slightly, looking to Hideyoshi out of the corner of his eye.

* * *

 “Oh, darn. I guess we’ll have to try again next time.” Hide smiled at Haise.”Only next time we choose a movie that isn’t quite so good. Although I guess that was pretty funny. Hah.”

 As the credits begin to roll, Hide leapt up to his feet and offered Haise a hand. “So where are going for dinner, anyway? We should go somewhere with coffee so you don’t have to just sit there and be bored.”

Haise almost choked at the remark, his eyes widening a little at the implication of activities at a slightly less engaging movie. Haise took his hand with a nervous grin, pulling himself to his feet. “T-they definitely have coffee.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I pictured Haise driving a Prius which is where the whole future car thing came from


	5. Chapter 5

In the car Haise listened to Hideyoshi gush about the special effects, Haise mentioning the few things he’d actually liked, one of them being the guitar powered truck. Sure it was weird, but he dare say it was ‘cool’.  
  
Their conversation hadn’t brought up Haise trying to suck Hideyoshi's face off, so it was a pretty embarrassment-free car ride over all.   
  
The restaurant was a small place, black cursive writing on the front, English characters spelling out Juno's Factory. Even Urie liked this place, so it had to be good.  
  
They were seated in a matter of seconds, sitting across from each other in a booth near the back, which thankfully wasn’t too crowded. There were a few people here and there, but they were all absorbed in what they were doing to even pay attention to the poor waitress clearing her throat in an attempt to get their order.  
  
“Tooru said their house burger is very good.” He laced his fingers together under his chin, elbows resting on the table as he stared down at the menu in front of him.

* * *

Hide hummed in acknowledgment, still flipping through the menu. “Not many veggie options…”

Hide looked up from the menu. “I read in the news that vegetarianism helps defend against Ghoul attacks, I guess because it makes you smell worse? So I was thinking about testing that, see if I come across more ghouls than usual.”

Hide flipped through the menu once more, slightly frowning. “Well, I guess I don’t have to quit meat cold turkey… I’ll try the burger.” Dinner decided upon, Hide set down his own menu.

He couldn’t avoid this conversation forever. They’d done well in the car, making small talk about the movie, but the weight of the conversation left unsaid hung heavily over them now. Hide just wished he knew the proper way to bring up the fact that he may have the biggest crush on his best-friend-turned-stranger. And his best friend in general. _Fuck._

“What are you looking at?” Haise says quietly.

“Huh?” Hide hadn’t been aware he’d been looking at anything.

“You were staring off into space and smiling.”

“Oh, I was? Hmm…”

Hide fidgeted in his seat slightly. “So, we kissed back there.”

“Err,” the waitress, unnoticed, had wandered over to take their order. “Should I come back another time, or…?”

* * *

“One house burger,” Haise said to the waitress with a polite smile, ignoring the comment about the kiss for a moment “Also a coffee please. Black.” he held up one finger, the waitress not bothering to ask if that was all before scurrying away. Haise's intense black stare fell back to Hideyoshi, shoulders straight and almost tense “We did…”   
  
He breathed in slowly a small voice calling from the back of his mind.  
  
 _‘We kissed him’_  
  
“Vegetarians taste the same.” Haise said darkly. “If you’ve been keeping to a ‘veggie diet’ it certainly hasn't changed your taste. Not from what I can tell.” His tone cracked, suddenly sounding nervous before a small laugh escaped him. “I mean...sorry if that’s-....morbid.”

* * *

 

Hide cackled. “Aw man, this is great. No, don’t worry, I’m way into this sort of thing. Why do you think I’m still watching news shows about ghouls after all these years? I’m always thinking about this sort of thing. Like for instance,” Hide leaned forward unconsciously, speaking quickly in his excitement. “What if the CCG set up a program, different from Cochlea, where ghouls could sign up and live alongside humans peacefully. We could provide them food from unclaimed bodies in the morgues and suicide victims, and more importantly they won’t be out hunting people. We don’t have to fight each other, I think we can coexist… Err,” Hide blinked, remembering he was talking to a CCG Official, amnesiac former friend or not.

“Uh, sorry. You can just stop me anytime, I have a tendency to ramble…” Hide noticed, suddenly, that their faces were very close together. He could almost feel the heat of Haise’s face next to his, taste him on his tongue…

As always, when faced with an awkward situation he did not know how to get out of, Hide’s brain insisted on doing the first thing to pop into it. Which in this case, was saying, “Boop,” and gently poking the tip of Haise’s nose.

* * *

 

Haise listened with a sad expression, moving his hands from under his chin to press them in to the table, fingers flexing and unflexing. “If only,” He muttered in response, blinking rapidly as Hideyoshi touched his nose suddenly.  
  
He couldn’t help but laugh a little, biting his lips when the waitress approached with a plate, coffee, and a tall glass of water. Haise thanked her as did Hideyoshi before she was on her way once again.  
  
“I don’t mind. It’s not everyday you meet an optimist. Most people hate ghouls... rightfully of course.” He waved his hand. “I find myself sympathizing with them sometimes. It only makes me look bad considering…. well... you know.” He met the blondes eye. “Why don’t you... come back? I mean... I could talk to Arima... about maybe... hmm.” He caught himself before he could say anymore. If Arima knew he was talking to Hideyoshi, there would definitely be a problem.   
  
_‘They’d think you were me’_  
  
Haise swallowed thickly, bringing his coffee mug to his lips. “You could come back and

* * *

apply to simply research... or gather intel... it’s not as hard to apply for as they want you to think."

Hide’s smile faded, and he sat back in his chair. “Maybe,” For a few moments, Hide’s expression was as close to stormy as Haise had ever seen it.

All at once however, the clouds cleared up and Hide was all smiles once more. “It would be a good way to meet your kids anyway. Which I still can’t really believe you have. How old are they again, 12, 13…?”

* * *

Haise snorted, eyes closing as he laughed at the other's comment. "They're more like young adults! But Urie and Ginshi are nineteen, and Saiko and Tooru are twenty. I’m no older than they are, but... I’ve been called a foster parent of sorts!” He laughed again, scratching his cheek. “They’re really great.”

Haise raised his brows, eyes wide and curious. “Do you like kids Hideyoshi?”

* * *

“Well I’m hanging out with you right now, aren’t I?” Hide grinned mischievously.

“But, oh man… Your kids are almost all grown up. And now here they are, setting you up on dates. It’s just so heartwarming.” Hide put a hand over his heart and gasped theatrically, pretending to shed a tear.

“Oh man, what are you going to do when they leave your nest. I bet one of them will stay. Someone is going to have to sit around and change your diapers when you get old.”

 “Hideyoshi!” Haise snorted.

“What? You have to think about this stuff! Make sure to spoil your favorite child rotten so they’ll wipe the poop from your butt!”

* * *

Haise sighed, head cradled in his hands, his face heating slightly as he tried not to laugh at the blonde across from him. He was almost done his food, blabbering to him about his children and old age.   
  
“This is so inappropriate.” He scoffed trying to hide his smile as Hideyoshi popped the last few fries on his plate in his mouth. “Just keep eating potty mouth,” He snickered, “I’ll drive you home after.”

* * *

Hide shook his head. “You’re just jealous of my mastery of comedy. I should be onstage with material this good. I would get super famous! I’d probably get all the ladies-” Hide cut himself off with an awkward cough.

After a few quiet moments of shoveling food into his mouth, the blond cleared his throat. “So, uh, I don’t mean to be the clingy teenage girl in this relationship- ha ha- but, umm, what is-” Hide gestured between the two of them.”- this? Because this is not what I had with Kaneki.”

* * *

 

Haise licked his lips, a lump forming in his throat, Hideyoshi pointing between then as he spoke. What were they...what was this? He wasn’t exactly sure, but the investigator didn’t mind it. The mention of Kaneki made him nervous, thumbs rolling against each other in a nervous gesture.

  
“I... don’t know,” Haise shifted his gaze, opting to stare at the table as a familiar voice gnawed at the back of his mind “It... doesn’t have to be what you had… with Kaneki Ken.” his voice was even, grey eyes intensely staring up through his bangs to meet honey brown. “I mean... I’m not really sure what I’m doing myself. I-If you don’t like it... I can stop.”

* * *

 

“No! I mean, you don’t have to…” Hide looked to the side wistfully. “It’s just nice to have someone to talk to again. About him, about ghouls… Sorry, I probably sound a bit weird. And I know I’m not much of a catch, haha.” Hide suddenly met Haise’s eyes with a strange, almost sad smile. “You know, the only girl I ever liked dumped me because she said I smiled too much.” His voice dropped to a low whisper.” And I think you can tell what happened with the only boy I liked.”

Clearing his throat, Hide not discreetly checked the time. “... It’s getting kinda late. We should probably get going.”

* * *

Haise listened quietly, heart dropping as he took in every word Hideyoshi said. Behind that bright smile, the same one that apparently had done him wrong, his self confidence had taken a huge hit. Haise wasn’t even sure it was his self confidence so much as it was he’d been hurt very badly by someone…. and the investigator was certain he knew just who that was.  
  
“I’ll drive you home…” He stood quickly “I’ll go pay quickly…”   
  
The only boy he ever liked huh? Kaneki Ken was something special for sure. Haise was confused as to why it would have never worked out between them. How long had they been friends? Was it awkward or something?   
  
“Done?”   
  
“Yes...thank you” Haise handed her a few bills, watching her as he got lost in thought once again.  
  
“He’s cute” She handed him his change, smiling sweetly as the investigator blinked in surprise.  
  
“I’m sorry what?”  
  
“I said he’s cute” She motioned to the blonde with her chin “Usually you’re here with some teens. Nice to see you getting out” she giggled, haise choking in embarrassment now.  
  
“I-I guess so!” he returned a timid smile, scratching the back of his head “Well...thank you again!” He moved to try and get away from the waitress as fast as possible. Hideyoshi was waiting by the front of the restaurant for him, Haise touching his arm gently before asking “You ready to go?”

* * *

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

In stark contrast to the ride to and from the theater, this trip was dead silent as both men became lost in thought. Hide wasn’t sure what Haise was thinking about, but he himself was reminiscing on Kaneki.

How many years had he spent pining for his best friend, choking back the heartache and hurt whenever Kaneki mentioned a new crush? Had it been two, three, or ever since he’d met him? After Mei and the move, Hide’s crushed child self had been certain that he would never love again. But Kaneki…  Ken had seemed just as lonely as Hide felt whenever he put his book down.

That had been the spark that drew them together. But after that, it was Ken’s gentleness, his good heart, and his pure love for his hobbies that had Hide falling hard and fast. And even when Hide had been staring into the eyes of the Centipede that night in the sewer, he knew that his Kaneki still existed, no matter how deeply he’d been buried. And yet for some reason, it seemed like he’d found his old Kaneki in Haise. He could see it in the way Haise’s face would sometimes become shadowed and sad like Kaneki’s would in the days after becoming a ghoul. He could see it in the bubbling laughter at one of Hide’s stupid jokes.

It made him wish he could see Kaneki, to reassure him that he still cared for him. That he wasn’t angry he’d been gone so long. To tell him that Hide only wanted to see him again. To ask Kaneki if he hated him for crushing hard on Haise.

But, perhaps fortunately, there was no way for that to happen anytime soon. Hide wouldn’t know how to cope if the answer to the last question was ‘yes’.

Hide was suddenly jerked out of his thoughts by a quiet, “Hideyoshi? We’re here.”

Hide smiled softly. “You, know by this point I think you’ve earned the right to call me Hide. It’s what all my friends call me.”

Hide opened the door and clambered out, but hesitated closing it.

“Would you… like to come inside? … N-not to do anything! Untoward, I mean, I ah, I can’t remember if I told you or not but my only plans for tonight were sitting around and watching movies-” 

* * *

Haise felt strange when Hideyoshi had told him he could just call him Hide, like some privilege had been given to him, but it almost made him feel... sad. His friends called him that, so did that make him a friend? like Kaneki was? No, Kaneki Ken was a special case, that was his best friend that he pined after…  
  
Haise had followed him to the front door, keys burning a hole in his pocket, the rational part of his brain telling him to leave this instant where the other half actually managed to answer the question.  
  
“... Sure,” He breathed, unable to really meet Hideyoshis gaze, his brain going over everything that the blond tried to assure him they wouldn’t be doing.   
  
Was it wrong to think that he sort of wanted to... Was it okay…?   
  
He wasn’t Kaneki, but... he had his body. He could still give Hideyoshi that couldn’t he?   
  
What was he even thinking!  
  
Not in all his time that he’d been... him... he’d never thought about sex, or anything of the like.  
  
“I…” Haise turned to Hideyoshi as he closed the door, his brows furrowed as he set a serious stare on the other “I wouldn’t mind….doing…” he swallowed, the voice that always tore at his sanity returning full force, only clearer this time...less static.  
  
 _‘Hide...’_  
  
“If you’re... okay with...  _me._ ” He rubbed his arm nervously, voice wavering. “I’m still…. sort of... Kaneki…”

* * *

“You… what?” Well, there goes any plans Hide had of watching old reruns of Godzilla movies. If all those soap operas he watched as he was recovering in the hospital have taught him anything, it’s that stunning revelations like these usually mean a kiss and a fade to black, or that Haise’s evil ex-boyfriend is about to burst through the door and shoot them both dead. Either way, Hide feels he should have his wits about him.

“Okay, if you- then wait was I-” _Holy shit I kissed Kaneki…. Hide stop imagining yourself kissing Kaneki._ “-and then we were, at the movie, uh-”

Mentally slapping himself, Hide clears his throat and begins again. “So, if you’re Kaneki, then could you… Could I… tell him something?”

* * *

 

“Well I’m not…. exactly…” he swallowed stepping a little closer, looking up in to Hideyoshi's eyes with a hesitant smile. “... I’m sure he can hear you…” Haise swallowed.  
  
Haise knew he wasn’t Kaneki Ken, no he was himself, but maybe that voice was….that was definitely Kaneki. That white haired, fair skinned child with his one red eye.  
  
 _‘Hide...’_

He could feel it. He was scared shitless, but this...this body wasn’t his…

  
“Go ahead…”

* * *

“Ok, Kaneki, I… I’m not so good with words. Not nearly as good as you are. So, I guess I’ll just… show you.”

Hide stepped closer to the half-ghoul, and wrapped his arms around Haise’s chest.

Hide’s face moved closer, lips parted just slightly…

And gave Haise an eskimo kiss. “Chuu~” he whispered, smiling.

“That’s all I wanted to tell you. It’s good to have you back.”

Hide began to pull away from the hug.

* * *

Haise held his breath, skin tingling as Hideyoshi moved closer, his face only a hairs length away. He could feel his breath, taste him, and dear god did he ever want more. His mind was going fuzzy again, his body practically vibrating as Hideyoshi stood so close that he could feel his body heat. His fingers twitched, Haise aching to reach up and grip those blond locks, drag Hideyoshi closer until he could satisfy this…. this... he couldn’t find the right word.

When their noses touched, Haise could feel his eyelids grow heavy, the voice pulling on his consciousness even more than before. He was ready for their lips to meet for the second time that night, but Haise wasn't quite expecting the other to cutely and quickly rub their noses together before leaving him kissless.

The mentor blinked, swallowing thickly, mouth dry as if he hadn’t had a drink of water for ages.  
  
“Wha…” he was trying to process what just happened, his arms moving before he could stop them to hold Hideyoshi in place. His brows furrowed, a small frown on his face, that voice overpowering every individual thought that he possessed.  
  
 _“Hide…”_ He breathed, pulling the other against him with quite some force, Haise burying his panic at the fact he himself hadn’t even spoken. _“Hide... that’s not fair.”_  
  
He couldn’t stop himself, body moving on its own, Haise seeming to abuse his strength in order to now shove Hideyoshi back against the wall. In seconds he had his mouth pressed against Hides hands roughly running up the others front to press against his shoulders, holding him there. The kiss he planted on Hide was more painful than pleasurable, the amount of force that was being applied just ruining the experience all together.  
  
With a quick intake of breath and wide eyes Haise snapped his head back, “-shit” he licked at the small split on the inside of his bottom lip, the haze trying it’s best to take hold of him again “S-sorry...I”  
  
He didn’t even have a legitimate explanation for what had even happened, he thought that maybe Kaneki had answered the other, but Haise was currently too preoccupied with the sheer thought that he was losing control to what was believed to be a memory only months ago.   

* * *

Before Hide could blink, he was pressed against the wall and being kissed into it with bruising force. It was all Hide could do to kiss back, choking a moan from the force of it. God, he could just picture Kaneki throwing him into bed, shoving him down, and pressing Hide’s face into-

Hide quickly stopped that thought in it’s tracks and tried to fight down the sudden thrill of arousal coursing through him. He couldn’t do this. He’d promised movies, light-hearted fun, not being taken advantage of by the ghost of his friend and Hide’s idiot libido.

Suddenly Kaneki broke the kiss and Haise was back again, stammering an apology.

Hide couldn’t help but smile in relief. “It’s fine. I probably deserved that. We’ve been dancing around that for years now. Haha.”

Hide’s humorous expression give way to worry. “Are you okay? I know that wasn’t you, so...I don’t want you to be forced into anything.” Hide swallows. “If… If you want to leave now, and never talk to me again, I’ll understand. Just because Ken and I have… feelings for each other, doesn’t mean that you should be dragged into this.”

* * *

 

Haise let out an almost panicked, “No!” pressing Hide even harder into the wall. Whether or not Haise was being influenced by Kaneki, he still...he still…

“I mean…” he bit the inside of your cheek eyes narrowing “It was m...” He was Haise. He couldn’t lose himself to Kaneki simply because Hide was right there on a silver platter for him.  
  
Despite what Hide has said, about Kaneki being ….good...kind...a good friend, there was still that side of him was was absolutely stark raving mad. Insane, unbalanced, and uncontrollable.  
  
Haise was scared.  
  
So was Kaneki.  
  
“I…”  
  
The white child pressed a hand to his arm, Haise moving to take the kids fingers in his own, the mental display of the two of them standing side by side, sending each other knowing looks…. this was new.  
  
“I don’t mind” he let his hands fall from Hide, stepping away with another apology for shoving him like that, the CCG agent concerned about the others injured shoulder now “You’re already hurt and i probably just made it worse....I’m sorry”  
  
 _‘We’re sorry_ ’ the child echoed in his conscious. 

* * *

“I’m not hurt,” Hide said, an unseen smile in his voice. “I… I’ve liked Ken for… well, since forever, really. And I haven’t known you that long but… I really like you. I mean _really._ I didn’t know it was possible to crush this hard on someone so soon. So if you’re okay with… this... “ Hide followed Haise, his hands still lightly gripping the other’s arms.

“I just… I don’t feel broken around you. Look!” Pulling away, Hide swiveled his bad arm in a full circle. “It doesn’t even hurt. You’re magic, even better than morphine.” Hide sends him is sunniest grin, and pulls Haise tighter against him.

* * *

 

Haise frowned to himself, not exactly buying how Hide was more than likely trying to make him feel better about cracking his poor aching body against the wall. Hide was right. Kaneki and him...they had history. Haise was nothing really in comparison. Hell, the only reason Hide had a ‘crush’ on him was probably because….well….Kaneki was apart of him. Haise was more than certain that also had something to do with how attracted he was to Hide. He’d never been attracted to anyone before, so he was confused, and a little more than guilty. He felt like he was manipulating Hide, luring him in with his stolen face and voice, lying to him. 

Sure he thought people were pretty or handsome, but he had never experience this sexual tension before....  
  
“I don’t even know what i’m doing…” Haise gulped as he looked away from Hide, the little white boys hold growing ever stronger “I don’t.... I’m so sorry Hideyoshi!”   
  
He was firm, his body losing all heat, a solemn expression crossing his features “It’s…. I was going so fast-i’m so sorry... I didn’t mean too”

* * *

Hide blinked. “You’re sorry for… making me feel better? Uh, you don’t have to apologize for that, it’s a good thing, really…”

“And hey,” Hide lightly gripped the other’s chin and turned it back to face himself. “I told you it’s okay to call me Hide. And I was being serious when I said that we don’t have to do anything. We can just watch movies and cuddle and sleep. No funny business, promise.”

Hide carefully extracted himself from Haise and got busy grabbing extra pillows, blankets, and extra large night shirts to sleep in.

He held up one which said “Hop into Bed!” with a cartoon frog, and another with a cutesy cartoon sun. “Alright, pick one. And no sass about my fashion sense this time.”

* * *

Haise stayed quiet, mulling over his own actions as Hide shushed him, telling him that it was all okay. Slamming him against the wall, sucking his damn face off, throwing every rational thought out the window... Haise really had to get a grip.

The instructor turned his back to the blonde, not exactly shy, but not particularly willing to meet Hide's eye as he undressed.

He peeled off his dress shirt, tossing it to the floor by the foot of the bed, back flexing as the air hit his skin.

Hesitantly he unbuttoned his pants, slipping out of them to stand there in his black boxer briefs.

* * *

The shirt Hide had left for him was large and baggy and bright fucking yellow. It was an eyesore, and Haise couldn't believe he was actually pulling the thing over his head, but there he was... doing it...

To top it all off, he silently climbed on to the bed, slowly taking the bright sun pillow away from the blonde.

"I wasn't going to say anything..." Haise smiled as he hesitantly climbed up to lay beside Hide, "...your style is impeccable."

* * *

“Darn tootin’ it is.” Hide quipped, setting up and turning on a small, very old television at the foot of the bed. “Okay, technically, we have a choice of like ten different channels but my connection sucks so the only one that comes in a decent quality is the old horror movie channel, so we’ll see stuff like _Godzilla_ and _Dracula_ , and if that doesn’t sound awesome then get the fuck out.”

Hide quickly stripped off his jeans and shirt, _definitely not paying attention to if Haise was watching if he liked what he saw_ , and tugged on his night shirt.

He then hopped onto the bed, giggling at his own pun, and snuggled under the covers. “Just kidding, you can stay. Just try to fall asleep quick.”

* * *

Haise snorted as he lay back in the sheets, Hide pulling the covers over himself as he got comfortable. The TV blared to life, some corny black and white movie flickering on the screen. Haise wasn't too big on movies, he never was, so watching this was actually... boring him... which in turn made him sleepy.

He pulled the covers up over his shoulders, staring down at the television as he rolled on to his side, propping his head up to stare at the other.

He was sleeping over...actually sleeping.

Two adults doing nothing but watching a dumb movie and actually sleeping in bed.

The kids were not going to believe that he just watched a movie and that was it.

"I have to leave early." His eyes were getting heavy, hand slipping from his cheek so that his head am was now resting on his arm. "Around five..."

* * *

“Mmm ‘kay,” Hide mumbled, lazily reaching for his phone and setting an alarm. Man, the first Dracula movie is so awesome. He could never understand all the hate on its special effects. The fakeness and cheesiness was part of its charm. 

Hide mentally coughed and, noticing that Haise was already asleep, reached over to shut the T.V. off and snuggled deeper into his blankets. Best day ever, was his last thought before falling asleep.

The blaring alarm comes far too quickly for Hide’s tastes. Being a light sleeper, he is quick to wake and shut it off, getting up and stumbling to the bathroom before a low groan reminds him that today is his day off. And his visitor was the one who needed the alarm.

* * *

 

Haise was sitting on the side of the bed when Hide came out of the bathroom, a hand running through his messy uncombed hair, staring with a tired gaze. He was still tired, after having stayed up all night before, and then taking Hide to a movie and dinner. He was actually relieved now that things hadn't turned out a little R rated.

"Morning..." He let his arm drop, arms already reaching for his pants from the floor "how'd you sleep?

* * *

 

“Mmmmmmmmmmmm” was Hide’s only reply as he flopped down onto the bed. Getting up early on your day off was for losers, and Hide had every intention of going right the fuck back to sleep. “G’morn.” He found himself mumbling, nevertheless.

* * *

 

Haise watched as Hide fell to the mattress, a tight expression on his face as he shifted from one leg to the other, shimmying his pants on with a soft grunt.The loose shirt caught under the hem as he pulled the clasp together, the Investigator pulling the fabric free before quickly yanking the bright article over his head.   
  
Hide's expression was peaceful as he drifted back to sleep, lips just barely parted, lashes fluttering as dreams filled his head once more. Haise wanted to reach out and touch his face, feeling as if he could gaze at it for the rest of eternity… that ache inside telling him that at some point he…. Kaneki Ken could have.  
  
He busied himself with pulling his shirt on, doing the buttons up in an almost robotic motion.  
  
“See you Hide…” Haise whispered under his breath, lips forming a silent ‘-yoshi’, the instructor feeling strange leaving it at just ‘Hide’  
  
He felt like that name wasn’t for him to speak.  
  
 _‘It’s okay’_  
  
The child in his thoughts comforted him, the clicking in his ears drowning everything out as he made to leave the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MFA: fun fact, that frog nightshirt I described? Is based on an article of my clothing. And by that I mean I own that nightshirt. That is literally my nightshirt. Am I implying that I am actually Hide??? You decide.
> 
> Also, take note: the first and last time they sleep in that bed w/o banging lol.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MFA: when I first started this, it was really hard for me to do text-speak for Hide's texts.  
> Now i can't fucking stop lmao

This was hell.  
  
This was seriously hell, because if it wasn’t, then his face would never be this red and this hot. He’d gone about his work day, running around for Akira in the same clothes he wore last night, the blonde woman commenting on his slightly less than impeccable attire. Sure he was missing his tie and the jacket he wore to the movie didn’t really match the dress shirt and dress pants....but really did she have to pry?  
  
Haise was thinking that maybe she actually cared how he was doing under the stress of his work load lately, but everyone around the CCG could have guessed she was just mad he looked disheveled. Even his hair as a bit off.  
  
If that all hadn’t been enough to drive Haise mad, now he was setting the table for a late lunch with everyone but urie, and _no one was talking_. It was 3 P.M. so Urie wouldn’t be home anyway... probably training, but everyone else was, and they hadn’t said a damn word to him.  
  
They all just stared with this... this... this _LOOK_ , and it made him feel _filthy_.   
  
Out of irritation he cracked his knuckles, not something he did often, the Quinx squad glancing at each other nervously.  
  
“If any of you have something to say, say it…” Haise cheeks were ready to burst into flame at the suggestively raised eyebrow Saiko sent him.  
  
“We were just... wondering if you had fun last night Sassan,” Shirazu rubbed the back of his head nervously. “Saiko stayed up waiting for you and everything... but-”  
  
“Did not!” she held her chin high, the boy muttering some rude fat joke in response.  
  
“We saw a movie, ate, and it was late so I slept at his house.”  
  
Tooru snorted before shoving some food in his mouth. “'s'at all you did?”  
  
Haise inhaled deeply before practically slamming Saiko's plate down on the table “That’s all. You’re all too nosy” the mentor slid it towards her, the blunette staring down at the simple meal with a small frown.  
  
“That’s why we’re investigators yeah?” The blond Quinx shoved the pasta around on his plate before scooping it up in his spoon and popping it in his mouth.  
  
Haise sighed, scratching his cheek, taking a seat across from his kids with a tired glare “Really you’re all too much”  
  
“You should invite him over,” Saiko said with a mouth full of food. “I wanna meet the guy who’d make maman's morals so flimsy!”  
  
“Just eat!!” He pointed at her with a frown, thinking that…. maybe he should invite Hide over... it... couldn’t hurt… 

* * *

 Hide frowned, staring at his phone. Haise had not texted him at all since last night.

Considering the circumstances, such an occurrence was… a tad suspect.

 But Hide wasn’t one to let that get him down. In fact, he was going to call Haise right now.

 … Right now! Just… Right after this commercial…. Aw screw it.

Hide texted, “did u make it to work on time???” and hit send before he could second guess himself. 

* * *

 The small ding coming from his pocket alerted everyone at the table that he’d gotten a text. 

Saiko smirked, the other two looking just a bit surprised to hear the sound. It wasn't common that Haise get a  text... from anyone. Akira called…. always, so the text must be from…  
  
“Is that your boyfriend?”  
  
The mentor glared, whipping his phone out before staring down at white screen with a frown, shoulders tensing at the snickers across from him.  
  
‘I made it on time’ he tapped away ‘Having lunch with kids...late lunch...’  
  
Said kids sat up a bit, leaning in curiously as Haise texted the blond back.  
  
‘I folded your shirt and put it on your dresser. I hope you found it.’ 

* * *

 ‘i did find it’ Hide quickly texted as he rose from the bed and checked the dresser. Sure enough, it was there.

 'so,,,, what did ur kids think about u spending the nite???’

 After a moment’s contemplation, Hide added, ‘and when is ur next night off??? I still havent taken u to see the waterslides” 

* * *

 Haise felt his burning blush carry down his neck at reading the text, thinking about what the Qinx’s must think. Of course it was one thing to just see their face and watch as they assume they knew what had happened, but it was another to be asked by the who's house you actually stayed at….

  
“Well…” he swallowed, thumbs hovering, Haise not exactly sure if he should tell Hide. He never actually took his days off...at least not often.  
  
“Oh gimmie that!” He blinked as the phone was ripped out of his hands by Saiko, the girl having leaned right over the table to snatch the device away.  
  
“Saiko!” Haise followed after her, chair clattering behind him, but the girl had already scooted her own seat back so she was just out of reach.  
  
Tooru and Shirazu leaned in to see the texts as well.  
  
“You call us kids?” Shirazu exclaimed, sounding quite insulted.  
  
“Funny since you’re like a kid yourself” Tooru added dryly.  
  
Saiko, stayed silent, her thumbs working furiously as Haise moved around the table.  
“Is this going to be a regular thing? You can't just take people's pho-”  
  
“And sent!” Saiko said happily, tossing the black rectangle back at her mentor who almost didn’t catch it.  
  
Upon seeing the text Haise let out a long groan.  
  
“The waterslides sound fun! I have Saturday off, so that leaves me four days to go buy a cute swimsuit <3<3 Can’t wait to see you sexy”  
  
He never thought he’d want to actually kill anyone... not while he was sane anyway... but this girl was testing his patience. 

* * *

 Hide laughed softly to himself at the text.

Judging by the fact that he’d said he was getting lunch with the chilluns and that this matched the typing style of the very first text he’d been sent…

Yeah, the chances of Haise’s phone being stolen were over 9000.

 Hide contemplated a number of replies, some dirty, some not, before settling on:

‘kk meet u @ 12 @ my aprtmnt dont 4get to bring sunscreen’

This Saturday… It was probably a bit too late for him to ask his Manager for time off, but there was usually someone who’d be willing to swap shifts with him.

Now, for Hide to figure out if he even had a swimsuit...

* * *

 Haise sighed with relief as he got a normal text in response, Saiko whispering to Tooru what she had written, the raven going pale before stuttering that the brunette had gone a bit too far.

 Shirazu eyed his mentor suspiciously before leaning forward in determination. Haise did not like the look on his face.

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 The week had gone by almost painfully slow. It was hot and gross at the CCG, and his stupid investigator jacket only made things worse... so much worse.

 He found himself looking forward to this water slide place Hide wanted to take him, but unfortunately it wasn't going to be just him and the blond.

 He felt really bad about it, because he was pretty sure this was suppose to be a date, but he could always just...send them off on their own...they were old enough...

They being Shirazu and Saiko. The Q squad leader demanded to be taken along because he wanted to cool off, where Haise was pretty sure the gaming girl just wanted to get a sneak peek at Hide himself. Since those two were coming, Hide extended the... invitation to both Tooru and Urie. Tooru declined in fear of swimsuits, completely understandable, And Urie as usual just glared at him for opening his mouth in his direction.

 So there Haise stood at Hides door, looking back to the car to see the two kids peering out at him curiously as he knocked. 

* * *

 Hearing the knock at his door even from his bedroom, Hide called out, “Don’t come in, I’m naked!”

 He eyed the clear plastic bag critically. Money, Sun screen, sandals, water bottles, some pretzels for Hide, and a spare change of shorts and shirt for the ride back.

 Yep, everything looked good. Hide snapped the band of his brand new swim shorts (light green with little cartoon Godzillas being cute and adorable on it, because _how could Hide say no to little cartoon Godzillas when that was one of his options_ ) And pulled on a blue T-shirt.

 Hopefully this color would be dark enough that the scars on his shoulder wouldn’t be all that visible. Hide wasn’t sure what he was going to do when that particular issue came to light (Haise would probably blame himself, and Kaneki…), but he’d just have to cross that bridge when the time comes.

 “OK, I’m coming out, try not to faint at my sexiness!” Hide called out, walking up to the door and opening it. Haise looked at as cute as ever, although the small sheen of sweat on his forehead probably meant this dumb heat wave was affecting him as bad as it was everyone else.

 “Ready to go?” Hide laughed, walking towards the car. He was halfway there before his vision focused on the car to notice that it was a bit more crowded than he’d been expecting.

 Hide dropped his bag to the ground and brought his hands up to his face in comically exaggerated surprise. “OH MY GOSH!! Are these the children?! Ohmygoodness look at you so precious-” Hide turned back to face Haise, a brilliant grin lighting his face. “- Darling, can we keep them?!” 

* * *

 Hide's clothes were a painful contrast to his own baggy white T-shirt and grey knee length track pants. The other guy was so...so bright.

 Haise raised his hand to try and stop Hide before he could get to the car, but before he knew it the other had already laid eyes on Saiko and Shirazu.

 "Keep them?" Haise blinked a little confused before laughing "I already spend 24/7 with them, the question is really, do we keep you." the mentor found himself tapping Hides nose before pulling him along to the car.

"Get in," He opened the passenger side door for Hide, Shirazu leaning forward a bit in his seat to grin and wave with a, "Yo!" 

* * *

 “That was cold. Ice cold.” Hide shook his head before hopping into the proffered seat. Hide immediately buckled himself in, and twisted back to talk to the two investigators in the back. “SO, which one of you kept referring to me as sexy?”

 Haise made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a snort, settling into the driver’s seat.

 “What? It was a legitimate question.” Ignoring Haise’s “ _Sure_ it was,” Hide gave the directions to the water park, then twisted back to continue talking to Haise’s 'children'.

“Hideyoshi Nagachicka, nice to meet you. Don’t call me Hideyoshi though, that’s my dad. Just call me Hide,” With a sunny smile, Hide offered a hand for them to shake.

* * *

 Haise followed the directions, Shirazu selling out Saiko for the act of calling Hide sexy, some sort of half-hearted squabble going on in the back after that point. They both reached to shake Hide's hand at the same time, Saiko smacking Shirazu's hand away before changing her attitude in an instant to coyly take his hand.

  
“I’m Saiko” She smiled with an intense look “You seem nice enough for Maman…”  
  
Shirazu elbowed Saiko, the girl screeching as she grabbed her side to soothe her now sore rib.  
  
“Hey!”   
  
“Shut up! You’re drooling pig!”  
  
Haise cursed as he pulled a wrong turn.  
  
The blond Q-member calling Saiko some rude name before the girl screeched back at him distracted him. Haise pressed the breaks, whipping his head around as Hide laughed at their antics "I will turn the car around, take you two home, and then me and Hideyoshi will have a wonderful day all by ourselves."

 He inhaled deeply as they shut up, Hide smirking at him as he pulled around to the next block, Haise muttering street names to himself as he tried to remember where this particular neighborhood led.

 He was ready for and expecting any and all mom jokes.

 Haise himself was hiding silent laughter at his cheesy angry parent line by smacking a hand over his mouth.

 "Why don't you just ground us, Sassan," Shirazu snorted, mocking him as Saiko chimed in.

 "Maman turn on the AC, I'm melting!" 

* * *

 “Don’t make me turn this car around,” Hide grinned mischievously, nevertheless turning on the AC and angling the vents toward the back. Even the cars of the future still needed time to cool down the air, Hide couldn’t help but note when Saiko let out a groan about how much hotter it now was.

 “It’s alright, we’re almost there anyw- actually, go down that street; the other parking lots all make you pay, but this one is _way_ closer, it’s just kinda hidden.” Hide finished directing Haise to the appropriate lot and everyone began piling out of the car.

 “Okay, the water park should be just down that street and- wait! Don’t run! Your, uh, maman will be really pissed if you get sunburned!” Hide chased down the street after a running Shirazu, and Saiko turned to give Haise a meaningful look. 

* * *

 They all clambered out of the car, Shirazu running off with Hide on his heels. Haise smiled down at Saiko, his thin fingers finding purchase on the top of her head, the small smile that the blunette gave in return making the mentor laugh a bit.

  
“He’s a funny guy huh?”  
  
“Maman... He’s... okay” She let her gaze fall back down to the two blondes, Shirazu clapping Hide painfully on the shoulder as he laughed away.  
  
Haise blinked, brows furrowing as he pulled her along. “Just okay, huh?”  
  
“Well…” she looked up to her foster parent with a worried look on her face “...You’re okay right?”  
  
“Why wouldn’t I be? I’m fine!”  
  
Saiko pouted, biting her lip before giving an exasperated sigh “Well... alright. As long as you’re happy, Maman!”  
  
Haise wrapped an arm around the girl's shoulder for a brief second, confused about her sudden concern, but he let it slide.  
  
“I really want to find that ‘drop slide’! It sounds exciting... riiight?” he leaned forward, eyeing Saiko as they approached the gate, Hide and Shirazu waiting for them with grins on their faces “You two ready for ‘fun in the sun’?”

* * *

 An hour later, each of the Hide-Proclaimed “Swim Park Awesome Squad” had been on each of the rides at least twice, and were now taking a short break from running around like crazed children.

Saiko was now lazing around on an inner-tube in the whirlpool, Shirazu had disappeared to a ride with a relatively long staircase, and Hide was panting (still exhausted from their race up to the top of their last ride) beside the pool next to Haise.

 “Ok, I know it might be blasphemy to admit,” Hide grins, turning to face Haise, “but I almost wish we came at a time when most kids weren’t in class, just so I couldn’t challenge you to stupid ideas like that. How are you not tired yet, seriously?”

* * *

Haise chuckled from where he was sitting, looking over at Hide with a wide smile. “Maybe I just have a lot of stamina,” His hand came up to slick back his wet hair, sighing as the sun beat down on his face. “Maybe...It’s because of something else.”

  
The instructors smile faltered for a moment, his gaze thoughtful as he watched Hide pant, Haise wondering if the others shoulder was okay. The scar was faint, since the blonde was so fair and all, but Haise could still see it through the slipping collar of Hide's T-Shirt.  
  
“I’m pretty sure it’s just stamina!” He leaned back, arms reaching over his head as he stretched, muscles over his stomach twitching from the strain. Black swim trunks hung loose on his hips, the length just barely reaching his knees, Haise thankful that Saiko had actually came with him to buy them or else he really would have gone with the ones with palm trees. Saiko said those ones in particular were the most hideous out of his personal selection to bring in to the changing room “Why, You feel like an achy old man? I’ll tell Saiko she can't ride on your shoulders~” Haise teased the other, leaning forward a bit now, hands on his hips.

* * *

 Haise was interrupted by Hide’s - no, not laughter, that noise could only be described as _giggling_ \- “Pffft. _Stamina_. Like during _Sex_.” Hide sat up, shaking his head but still snickering. “I’m so sorry, I apologize for being twelve. I hope that you can, uh…”

 Hide trailed off as he realized just how close the half ghoul was. How close their faces had gotten. And he could almost feel the press of his lips…

 The moment was broken by the sound of Saiko’s voice echoing across the water. “JUST KISS ALREADY!”

 Hide moved away, a flush of heat trailing up his neck, to his cheeks and all over his chest. _Why_ did he have to be cursed with a body that flushed a bright red when just his cheeks would suffice??

* * *

 Haise sent a sideways glance at Saiko, his grin still in place, cheeks just a bit flushed from Hide's elaboration on his very obvious joke. The instructor wiggled his toes in the water, glad that he’d finally caught on to Hide's humor, glad that Saiko had joined in to tease them after that point.

  
For once it wasn’t him that was glowing red from his nose down to his neck, and Haise found it very refreshing.  
  
“Hide,” he breathed, sounding playful, but his voice had dropped a few octaves. “You’re blushing,” he was so close to his ear now, Saiko watching from her inner tube with wide eyes and pink tinted cheeks.  
  
Quickly, Haise pressed a kiss to Hide's cheek, pulling away after that split second of contact to launch himself in to the pool “You happy now Saiko!? I’m coming for you!” He raised his arms above his head, a scary sort of smile playing on his delicate face.  
  
Saiko's mouth opened and closed like a fish, her chubby little arms and legs kicking in to gear in order to get away from her mentor.  
  
“C'mon Hide! We gotta catch Saiko!” Haise laughed with what he could only assume was glee. He couldn’t remember the last time he had this much fun.

* * *

Hide stared after Haise, his mouth hanging open comically. “I- ...You-”

 The blond could feel himself turning an even deeper red. When did Haise get so suave, this man was going to be the death of him-

 “I am going to drown the both of you! Starting with Saiko!” With that, Hide pushed himself into the pool, eventually catching up to Haise and a shrieking Saiko and splashing them both. 

 

Another half hour later found all four of them inside a strange tiki-themed restaurant for late lunch. As Saiko and Shirazu ordered on the other side of the table, Hide leaned in closer to whisper to Haise sitting beside him. “So, the only ride we haven’t been on yet is the two-person lazy river. After that it might be time to head out before school lets out and the real crowds come in. Sound good?”

* * *

 Haise rested his chin in his hands, watching as Saiko asked the waiter for at least eight “kabobs” from the menu. Shirazu ordered just as much, Haise whispering to hide that he would cover the kids costs. 

Haise licked his lips, eyes narrowing as warm breath hit his ear, a warm tingle running up his spin. Slowly the shorter male turned his head, nose bumping against the blond's as he smiled shyly, whispering back with a breathy voice, “Well I know who my buddy is.”  
  
“Yo, we’re right in front of you,” Shirazu drawled, Haise now blushing as the two Q-members watched them like hawks.  
  
\- - - - - - -  
  
Hide and the kids ate, Haise sipping an iced black coffee, Saiko being unusually quiet where Shirazu chatted up a storm with Hide about movies that Haise never even knew existed.   
  
After they’d all finished, Hide led the way to the two man lazy river, the line moving fast since all people had to do was grab an inner tube and hop on in. Shirazu grabbed one to himself, grinning cheekily as Saiko pouted from the side of the river.  
  
Haise patted her head, the girl yanking an inner tube to herself, flopping on to the water so her body lay over both openings like Shirazu. “I didn’t want to float with him anyway!”  
  
Haise laughed, elbowing Hide as he grabbed an inner tube for themselves. “You want the front or back?”

* * *

 Hide laughed. “Front! Dibs, called it, I got it, you can’t have it.”

Just as they came upon the front of the line, Hide schooled his expression into a serious one, and turned to Haise. “Now Hun. I know it may be difficult, but you’ll just have to control yourself. This is a family ride, and the children are watching.” Hide gestured to a laughing Shirazu and Saiko, who was sticking her tongue out at them.

“Next,” Called the attendant.

* * *

 Haise swallowed, cheeks glowing as he plopped himself in the front of the inner tube, the attendant holding it in place as hide awkwardly clambered on behind him. The taller mans legs were on either side of him, knees pressing against his ribs, a few girls in the line giggling at the two of them getting cozy in the tube.

  
The attendant let them go, Hide wiggling behind him as he tried to get comfortable.  
  
“A family ride, huh?” Haise leaned back, shivering as the cool water basically caressed his butt, a small grin on his face as he tilted his head back to rest against Hide's chest “Does that discount making a family on this ride” he snorted at his own crude joke, slapping Hides ankle gently. “Sorry that was bad!” He laughed now, eye lighting up as light grey met brown.

* * *

Hide snorted so loudly he had to cover his face with his hands. “No, that was really good!” Hide collapsed into a fit of giggles. Once he finally managed to catch his breath, he looked back over to Haise with a loving smile. “You know, they say if you want to show interest in a person, imitate them. And I’m super glad my humor is rubbing off on you.” Hide paused, to contemplate all the ways that could be made into a sexual innuendo. In the end, he chose the high road. “You look really nice when you smile.”

Hide couldn't help but notice that, contrary to his claims of this being a family ride, the series of twists and turns coming up had left them completely alone.

* * *

 Haise found himself laughing along with Hide, owlishly looking up at him, his breath suddenly caught in his chest as Hide spoke. He could feel the corners of his mouth falter, twitching as the smile on his face slowly vanished. 

Haise pulled himself off Hide, twisting in the inner-tube, the flotation device wobbling for a few seconds. His butt was still dipped in the seat part, but his torso was twisted, right forearm pressed the blond's stomach as his left hand gripped his thigh.   
  
Haise looked thoughtful, his gaze locking with Hide's. “Not as _nice_ as you look,” His voice was a whisper, Haise moving his arm so that it was resting on the inner tube, his hip and side now firmly pressed against Hide. “Though...that’s not the word I’d use…” He swallowed.  
  
 _‘Breathtaking.’_ A gentle coo echoed in the back of his mind, Haise in that moment giving zero fucks if people were present or not, head dipping so he could place a feather light kiss to center of Hides chest.

* * *

 “Uhh…” Was Hide’s first response, blood rushing to his face and… another place. “Err, we should… probably think of the children…” Hide murmured, dropping a hand down to Haise’s own, but making no effort to dislodge it. In fact, one might say the feather light touch against the hand and up the forearm as Hide twisted closer was encouraging.

“So then,” Hide whispered, his eyes half-lidding unconsciously, “what word would you use?”

* * *

Haise bit his lip, forehead resting against Hides collarbone, eyes hooded yet still focused on what was either a droplet of water or sweat rolling down the blondes skin. What would he use? His brow furrowed, lips parting as he once again pressed his mouth against the man under him, tongue darting out to lick up what he now knew was sweat.

“Hmm…” Haise shivered at Hide's touch, a soft shuddering moan leaving him as he now trailed gentle kisses up the ex-ccg agent's neck, Haise straining just to reach his chin. “I’d use…”  
His hand ran up Hides thigh, fingers sliding under the hem of his left pant leg, nails biting into the damp flesh as he got closer and closer to somewhere... that really shouldn’t be exposed in public. He felt intoxicated, his whole body tingling, lips ghosting Hide's as he finished his thought, “-hot.”  
  
Haise was snapped out of it in a split second, a high-pitched squeal of a child reaching his ears, the mentor quickly pushing off Hide to stare out as a small crowd came floating around the corner.  
  
“-shit!” He ripped his hand out of Hides swim trunks, his right elbow jamming the blonde in the stomach for the second time that day, only now Haise was pretty sure that this time the other was feeling a lot more pain “-Oh-fuck-sorry-AH!” In a mess of limbs Haise lifted himself, the inner tube wobbling under them before flipping, both men ending up in the water.

* * *

Hide let out a soft sigh as Haise hand drifted further up, up…

He couldn’t help but gasp at Haise’s choice of words, and… where his hand was going.

Hide’s eyes fluttered shut as his member began to throb pleasantly, reacting to Haise’s touch…

Which left him completely unprepared for Haise’s sudden jerk and subsequent elbow jab- “Oooof!”- and the resulting tip into the water.

“Oh f- _jesus_ ,” Hide cried, the cold water quickly shriveling his burgeoning erection.

Swimming alongside the inner-tube (climbing back in required an upper-arm strength which he simply did not posses, and the lazy river was just fine without an inner-tube, thank you very much), Hide waited until they were alone again to whisper theatrically, “Welp, my boner’s gone. How about yours?”

* * *

Haise gasped when he broke the surface, shouting "Cold!” as Hide made little effort to catch their inner tube, the bright yellow flotation device escaping them and making it’s way along the river without the occupants to weigh it down.

  
Haise followed Hide, just floating along as they let the family pass, the mentor eyeing them warily as they disappeared from his sight.  
  
At Hide's whisper Haise couldn’t help the blush that consumed his face, the mortification slowly sinking in as he thought over what he just did to Hide, and where he chose to make his move.

“I-” Haise swallowed, giving Hide a fleeting glance before looking away in embarrassment. “Yeah...It’s gone.” He leaned forward a bit, mouth now submerged under the water to blow bubbles, a garbled, “Dead. Completely killed the mood,” sort of making sense.  
  
As an afterthought Haise took a step to the side, his arm now touching Hides. Lifting his face once more, he spat out what little water got in his mouth, a crooked smile on his face. “Who woulda thought I’d do something like that in a kiddie pool…” He said softly, his hand coming out of the water to make a wet slap on Hide's bicep “And you let me!”

* * *

 Hide laughed, snorting and guffawing. “Of course I let you!” Hide nudged him with his elbow conspiratorially, “Would you have acted differently if I did that to you? Be honest.”

Privately, Hide wondered what would have happened if they had been alone. Uninterrupted. Alright, perhaps his boner was not quite as adverse to the cool temperature as he’d once thought.

* * *

 Haise scratched his cheek, smiling almost mischievously,“You’re right, I would have done the same thing.” He could feel his body reacting to the thought of having Hide's mouth on him, laying there and letting the blonde crush their bodies together, the feeling of his hand inching ever so closer to....

“Shit…” Haise hissed, cursing under his breath as he dunked his head underwater once more.  
  
He couldn’t be having these sorts of thoughts in a water park! The only positive thing about this situation was he was now underwater-and underwater is where little kids couldn’t exactly see his not so little problem. Wasn’t cold water supposed to fix that?  
  
He blinked, vision a tad blurry, gaze finding purchase on a particularly well toned stomach just beside him...a subtle definition of abs, just that little bit of baby fat under his belly button that Hide was never quite able to get rid of-  
  
And there was that fucking pain behind his eyes again.  
  
Haise came back out from under the water, glaring out at nothing in particular as memories that weren't his tried to resurface.  
  
 _‘It’s cute, right...’_

“Very cute,”   
  
Haise touched his lips, water dripping down from his hair to his nose, the shorter man once again brushing up against Hide's side. “I‘m not very good at controlling myself it seems,” He pressed his knees together, “I think I would have gotten a bit eager…. and we would have fallen in a bit sooner than we did with me all over you,”

* * *

Hide’s eyes widened at the mental image of Haise, gasping and panting, knocking them over the edge-

“Okay, sharing time is great and _ohmigod_ , that is a, umm, a really great thought, seriously I am going to be thinking about that later tonight, but on second consideration, maybe we should save this conversation for. For later.” He continued lamely, as another shriek of childish laughter (which sounds vaguely familiar- could it be Saiko’s?) rang out.

And at that moment the lazy river stopped curving and opened up so that they can see several mini “waterfalls” just a few feet ahead.

“... And maybe we should consider getting back to the ‘tube. Like, right now.”

* * *

Haise sent Hide a pointed glare, hearing that he’d be thinking about this later not really helping his little situation. In the next moment however, the instructor found himself staring wide-eyed at the waterfalls up ahead. They weren’t too big, in fact it was only five or six feet down to a large pool where all the tubes were collected and carted back to the beginning of the ride. The backs were slightly inclined so the tube riders wouldn’t just drop in to the pool, but it was steep enough that you were guaranteed to go face first into the water at the end.

Haise saw their tube up ahead, his hand reaching out longingly as the bright yellow thing went over without them.

“Well…” he looked the Hide, grabbing his arm to pull the blond against his chest “Here we go” Haise grinned against the taller mans cheek, turning them so Haise was the one with the rough plastic against his back, hide flailing as they both went over.

* * *

“What are you-” Hide began, losing whatever train of thought he’d had when Haise pulled him close.

Fortunately it immediately came back when he was dunked underwater as they went over the first fall.

Hide flailed to the surface. “This is ridic-” and was dunked back underwater.

He continued this comedy of errors several more times, until finally the river ran out of waterfalls to try to drown him with.

Hide broke away from Haise to swim furiously over to the tube, latching onto it for dear life.

“Act silly, they said, it’ll be flirty in a cute way, they said. Never again. _Never again_.”

* * *

Haise coughed on water, laughing all the while as his hand fleetingly grabbed for Hide. His smile was wide, hair sticking to his face,  Haise floating in the water so his chin was just below the surface.   
  
Bobbing up and down, he hopped closer to the blonde, his own hand coming up to grab at the handle on the side of the inner tube, “Sorry,” He managed to say between snickers, not exactly _sounding_ very apologetic, “At least the first half of the ride was nice... right?” He leaned in to get a better look at Hide's face.  
  
“There you guys are!” Shirazu said from not to far off, Haise betting the two Q’s waited for them.

* * *

Hide scrunched up his face in faux anger, but even his superior acting skills couldn’t hold it for long before bursting into loud laughter.

“Alright, I will admit the first part of the ride was,” Hide let his voice drop to a whisper as his usual blush reddened him. “… _very_ nice.”

Hide met Haise’s look with a soft, warm smile, and held his gaze until Shirazu’s shout ruined the moment. “Ah, I guess we should return the ‘tube and… head back.”

* * *

“Yeah, I guess we…” Haise trailed off, eyes meeting Saiko's as the girl lazily floated over, “-should go. Right? You tired yet?”  
  
Saiko's gaze drifted from her mentor to Hide, blinking slowly before a small sigh escaped her. “I’m exhausted, Maman.”  
  
“I’m not!” Shirazu cheered, holding his inner tube over his head “I’m ready for more!”  
  
“We’ll have to come back again then,” Haise smiled, holding up a stern finger, “Since you have so much-” The investigator grunted as he lifted the inner tube out of the water, gently prying Hides fingers from it with his own, “-energy. You can take everyone's inner tubes back.”  
  
“Are you serious!?”  
  
“I am,” Haise held his hand out to Saiko, helping the girl off her tube, “We’ll grab the stuff and wait for you by the front.”   
  
“Maaaaan.”

* * *

Hide winced in sympathy for Shirazu, but he found it hard to feel to bad when the tall man took off at a sprint.

“Ok,” Hide said, clapping his hands together. “We’ll just track down some towels, get our things and head out.”

At the first sign of agreement, Hide started off, leading the way toward the front entrance.

Saiko hung back a moment, staring at Haise. She lifted her eyebrows in a silent question.

* * *

Haise stared back at Saiko, his brows raised high on his forehead as the girl hung off his arm “What…?”  
  
“You seem to be having _fun_ , Maman,” she cooed, the mentors cheeks glowing as she just continued to look up at him with an intense sort of look.  
  
“O-of course I am!” He blinked, grinning almost guiltily as he pulled her along “Now c'mon!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MFA's thoughts while editing:  
> "I wonder if I am putting too many commas in Thea's sections"  
> "Haha oh my god I am so fucking hilarious"  
> "GODDAMMIT PAST MFA STOP SWITCHING TO PRESENT TENSE"  
> "where the hell do I stop"  
> "this was a terrible idea rp's are not made for episodic updates"  
> "wait does this mean i need to start tagging the smut now"


	7. THE SMEXING BEGINS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is smut.

They’d been in the car for not even five minutes before Shirazu began to tell Hide how stupid the both of them looked coming up and over the little waterfalls. They were a ball of thrashing limbs, panicked expressions, and Shirazu hadn’t been sure where Hide started and Haise ended.  
  
“Hide?” Saiko leaned forward in her seat, chubby little fingers grabbing at her seatbelt “You want to come back to our house for dinner?”   
  
Haise inhaled, not saying a word, Shirazu cutting in “Yeah! Sassan has a car! he can drive you back whenever!"

* * *

 “Uhh,” Hide started, distracted from his effort to blend into the seat from the previous conversation. Oh god, thank goodness no one seemed to notice the _reason_ why the tube had flipped, although Saiko kept shooting him a strange look and grinning maniacally-

“I, sure!” Hide swallowed nervously. “Um, so long as that’s okay with you, that is,” Hide said, peeking over at Haise from beneath his bangs.

* * *

 His elbow pressed into the door, window rolled down almost all the way, glass still sticking out enough to dig into his skin. He sighed, the breeze drying his hair as it whipped the dual coloured tufts in every direction. “Yeah…” The one hand on the steering wheel flexed, grey eyes glancing to the side. “I don’t mind cooking for you as well.” 

  
“Maman knows how to make the best burger steak!” Saiko had stars in her eyes, Shirazu leaning forward a little so he could talk to the mentor without having to yell over the wind.  
  
“Why don’t we have hot pot?”  
  
“I don’t like hot pot.” Saiko puffed her cheeks, glaring at Shirazu.  
  
“Yeah? Well you always seem to eat most of it, so who woulda thought!”  
  
“What would you like Hide?” Haise asked over the kids squabbling, pulling on to the main street through the center of the city “I kind of like the idea of hot pot.”  
  
“Hey!” Saiko whined in response, Haise laughing to himself as they came to a red light.

* * *

 “Well I’m going to have to support the best girl in this car and say burger steak!” Hide grinned, reaching back to high five Saiko. “But don’t you have other people at home? Won’t they want a vote?”

 “Urie doesn’t care what he eats,” Saiko said matter-of-factly, just as Shirazu piped in, “Mutsuki will eat anything Sassan makes.”

 Hide raises his eyebrows and gives Haise a knowing smile. “Quite the cook, aren’t you?”

At Haise’s blush, Hide dared to tease further, “And to think you claimed you weren’t the mother in this relationship.”

* * *

 Haise's mouth popped open, Shirazu's laughter drowning out a happy, “Mamaaaan!” from Saiko. The instructor couldn’t fight the blush on his face so he chose to embrace it. Leaning over to Hide, his shoulder slipping out from under his seat belt, Haise took his eyes of the road for the briefest of seconds. “So that makes you the dad, huh?” 

  
“Maman!” Saiko quipped from the back, Haise turning to smile blindingly at her before focusing back on the highway.  
  
“We’re almost home!” his voice was warm, happy, carefree. Haise pulled off on to the next exit, the neighbourhood there managed by the CCG, the headquarters being another ten minutes up the highway “Right there” Haise pointed to the expensive looking house. 

* * *

 Hide nodded sagely. “Oh, you better bet I am the dad. Didn’t the terrible fashion sense and dad jokes tip you off?”

 As the car began pulling up to a very nice neighborhood, Hide suddenly began to feel a little… Ill at ease. And very embarrassed that Haise had seen his shabby little three room apartment.

 Pushing that feeling aside, Hide called out, “Hey! You kids don’t forget to do your homework!” as Shirazu and Saiko piled out of the car.

 Hide exited the car, bounded up to the front door, and held it open for Haise with a cheeky smile.

* * *

Shirazu rolled his eyes, Saiko flying through the front door as if she hadn’t seen home in a million years, the sound of feet against the wooden stairs reaching Haise's ears before he even managed to close the door to his car.  
  
Hide held the front door open for him, Haise saying a polite ‘Thank you’ before practically yanking the blonde in after him.  
  
On the couch sat Tooru, peeking up from their book with a shy expression, a small smile on their face. “Welcome home, Sasaki.” He quickly stood to address Hide. “My name is Tooru Mutsuki... it’s a pleasure to meet you…” He offered his hand, Shirazu making a ruckus in the background as he rifled through the fridge.  
  
“Hey, wait till dinner!” 

* * *

 “Oof!” Hide stumbled, thankfully catching himself. Luckily, whether on purpose or not, Haise had chosen his uninjured arm to yank which saved them all an embarrassing episode of Hide writhing on the floor in agony. Instead, Hide had an embarrassing episode of nearly falling on his face after tripping on the stoop.

 Other then that, Hide made it inside without incident, looking around with wide eyes. It had been a long time since Hide had been in a house with this much… Space. His parent’s apartment had been pretty big, he’d thought, because they’d had a study and living room in addition to a kitchen, but this place was so… not cramped.

 It was just making Hide feel a little weird.

 Shaking that feeling off, he walked over to greet the penultimate member of Haise’s squad he’d yet to meet. “Hi, Mutsuki, I’m Hideyoshi Nagachika, but please call me Hide.” Hide gave Mustsuki a firm handshake and friendly smile, but inwardly his intuition was ringing that there was something… Off. Since he couldn’t sense anything bad, he decided against mentioning it. “So, what do you want to vote for dinner? We’re split 50-50 on burger steak and hot pot. “

* * *

 It was strange having Hide in his house, but Haise welcomed the giddy warmth that consumed his insides. He felt like a child breaking the rules for the first time, that thrill of being caught giving him some sort of rush. 

It wasn’t every day Haise met someone from a time when he was known as Kaneki, and managed to keep his sanity. He worked in harmony with that little voice in his head, the ‘parasite’, both of them working towards a common goal.  
  
They both wanted him. Through and through Kaneki and Haise craved to be near him, that much was apparent. The investigator at first wanted nothing to do with Hide, in fact he was pretty sure he’d get in trouble for even contacting him, but now after that first date...he just couldn’t bare to stay away. He felt like a magnet, like Hide was a key or a puzzle piece to who he was.  
  
He felt like this was worth the risk to his entire existence. If anyone at the CCG found him out, he didn’t know what he would do. He trusted the Quinx squad... Shirazu, Saiko, and Tooru always had his back... Urie just didn’t care... hell he probably wouldn’t even pay attention to Hide.  
  
The kids wouldn’t bring this up in regular conversation with Akira or… would they?  
  
Juuzou… he knew... but that guy was too busy in his own thoughts to even remember Haise went to interrogate Hide... he hoped.  
  
“Maman…” Saiko called from second to last step on the stairs, a game console in her hands “You okay?”  
  
His expression went from grim to cheerful, Haise holding out a hand to beckon her over.  
  
“Just fine!”  
  
Saiko's eyes narrowed suspiciously, her little fingers tapping away at her game without her having to even look.

* * *

“We had burger steak twice this week.” Mutsuki tapped his chin, looking over to his mentor and Saiko, Shirazu sitting up at the table to point at the blunette.

“See!? We should have hot pot!”  
  
Saiko turned her attention to the loudmouth throwing her hand in the air animatedly. “Yeah, we should have burger steak because it’s good!! So delicious!!”  
  
“Why don’t we have hot pot, and invite Hide over again for burger steak another day? We did just have it yesterday.”  
  
Mutsuki smiled at the short girls pout, Haise patting her head as he jokingly comforted her.

* * *

 Hide laughed laughed at the squad’s antics. Hide would have never guessed that this was the family that Haise came home to everyday, especially in the beginning when he had seemed so sad. Right now he seemed very happy to be around them.

 It made Hide hope that a relic of Kaneki’s past like himself wouldn’t be the one to destroy everything Haise had built. But it will all be okay in the end, Hide reflected. Kaneki wouldn’t hurt anyone innocent and he especially would not hurt Hide. Not if that… “greeting” he’d received the night Haise had stayed was any indication, anyway.

 Shaking his head of those thoughts, Hide grinned at the squad. “So, if Mama Haise is going to be making dinner, then who’s going to help me set the table?”

 At Mutsuki’s confused and surprised expression, Hide made a vague gesture. “Inside joke, don’t worry about it.”

* * *

Haise had kept busy in the kitchen for the last hour or so, Saiko playing games with Hide and Shirazu, Tooru watching from the side. Every now and then he looked over to smile fondly at his little family, and then he’d smile even wider at the thought of Hide becoming apart of that.

  
“Is this wrong…?” he muttered to himself, Saiko glancing back at her mentor with a puzzle expression. That girl seemed to be worrying about him more and more each day…  
  
With a small wave haise chirped “Dinner’s ready!” the CCG agent effortlessly lifting the huge pot to bring over to the warming pad in the center of the table “The broth might not be as good as beef...but you all don’t mind chicken right?”

* * *

 “Aw, sweet yes food, I am dying!” Hide leaped up and playfully raced Shirazu to the kitchen, leaving a very irate Saiko to finish the Mario Kart round by herself.

 It took Hide a moment to take in the large table, the pot of Hot Pot, fresh and steaming, Haise standing there wearing an adorable cooking apron, the back of which was tied to frame the half-ghoul's behind like a painting in a museum... a very round and plush-looking painting… Fortunately, what his mouth decided to comment on was none of the above, but instead, “Woah I’ve been living on frozen meals and fast food for so long I kinda forgot what actual food looks like.”

 After a bit of light-hearted nettling over that (and a very concerned look from Haise, which resolved into an expression of “I need to make sure this man begins eating properly,”), the q-squad and Hide sat down and dug in.

 After his first serving, Hide looked up and glanced around the table. “So, wasn’t there another member of your group? When will I meet them?”

* * *

 Haise kept pleasant conversation with everyone as they ate, resting his chin against his palm as he watched the kids and Hide enjoy the food. He really would have to have the blond come over for a meal or two now and then. Haise was already making plans to make extra in order to bring him leftovers. 

“Ahh, you mean Urie?” Haise looked towards the clock on the wall before staring at the door “He’s probably out training... or something…” Haise smiled, right brow twitching in mild annoyance. “He has a mind of his own…”  
  
“He’s in his room” Tooru supplied, pointing at the ceiling with his chopsticks before reaching over to the large pot for seconds.  
  
“Hmm…” Haise scooted his chair back, turning his body towards the stairs before shouting, “Urie! Dinner!”  
  
He waited for a second, the other Quinxes continuing to eat even as a sudden thump sounded from over head.  
  
“Well...looks like you do get to meet him” Haise smiled at Hide, arm thrown over the back of his chair as he craned his head around to greet the stoic boy slowly making his way down the stairs.  
  
“Were you sleeping?”  
  
Urie stared at haise, narrowed serpent eyes scanning the persons present before settling on the one who stuck out like a sore thumb. He simply stared, unmoving, Haise clearing his throat as he pointed to the kitchen.  
  
“Grab a bowl and help yourself”  
  
“Who’s he...” Urie didn’t acknowledge Haise, but did however move to find a bowl for himself, muttering something under his breath that no one caught; as usual.

* * *

 Hide wasn’t sure why, but from the moment he saw ‘Urie’ he was seized by the desire to find a squirt bottle and spray him with it like a misbehaving puppy.

 He had a feeling that if he did that to anyone else it would be a humorous anecdote for his and Haise’s wedding, but this one, not so much. Ah, well.

 “I’m Hideyoshi Nagachika, it’s nice to meet you. Just call me Hide.” Hide ignored the icy glare that was met with and continued smiling brightly. “And you are?”

* * *

 Haise scratched his cheek nervously as Urie wordlessly made his way to the table, a bowl in hand. His eyes were locked with Hide's, a small frown on his face, the raven teen only looking away to focus on spooning some broth, noodles, and veggies into his dish.

  
“Don’t be rude man!” Shirazu scolded the ex-leader, throwing an arm around Hide's shoulder before continuing, “This guy’s pretty cool you know!”  
  
Urie sneered, grabbing a pair of chopsticks from the rack beside the pot, turning to once again leave them. Shirazu called after him, demanding that Urie say hello, and using his ‘leader of the Q-squad’ status to get it out of him.  
  
“Hi. Urie.” He drawled, making his way back up to his room.  
  
Saiko raised her chin, brows furrowed as the thump of a door closing sounded from upstairs. Haise only hoped that they wouldn’t have to fix the door again.  
  
“Urie” the instructor made a little motion towards the staircase, like some lady from the price is right, laughing a little as Tooru looked pointedly at Hide.  
  
“It’s not you, Mr. Nagachika... Umm... Hide?”  
  
“Yeah he’s always like that. A big jerk.” Saiko muttered before shoving her face full of chicken and noodles.  
  
“Would you like more, or are you done? -I can take that Mutsuki...” Haise stood, taking Tooru's empty bowl, laughing quietly as Shirazu and Saiko went for seconds. “I made plenty, so don’t be afraid to fill up.”

* * *

 Hide stared after Urie, shocked. Apparently even the perfect families had one or two misfits.

 Hide turned back to Haise and nodded sagely. “Someone should probably tell him that goth died in the 90’s. Not that you young ‘uns would remember that,” Hide laughed,

 With that comment, the unease of Urie’s arrival dissipated, and the rest of dinner continued as Hide and Shirazu squabbled over the ladle.

 After his third helping, Hide finally admitted defeat in the face of the never-emptying pot, and returned to the living room to flop face-down on the couch beside Tooru.

 “I’m so stuffed,” He groaned. “I’m never going to eat again. Or at least, never going to eat a frozen meal again. That was so good. What do you guys do if Haise isn’t here to cook?”

* * *

 Tooru held the book to his chest, thumb pressed under the last word he read, the dark skinned Quinx scooting right up against the armrest of the couch. He looked down at the blond with wide eyes before glancing at Haise in the kitchen, Saiko standing nearby with a towel in her hands, ready to dry the dishes as he washed them.

“Umm…” He swallowed, staring down at the gangly man strewn over the sofa beside him “Well... we order out... or…. eat leftovers. We do have frozen meals, but I don’t think it tastes as good as what Sasaki makes.” Tooru leaned forward, placing the book on the coffee table, the flashing blue ‘GAME OVER’ illuminating his face as he looked up to the screen “It tastes like he put a lot of... feeling in it.”   
  
“Maman's cooking is the best!” Saiko called out as Shirazu waved to Hide with a quick, "Night guys!".  
  
Shirazu usually stayed downstairs with the rest of them, so Haise awkwardly and quickly returned a "Good night?" as the blond left, looking to the clock in confusion.

* * *

Hide waved lazily as Shirazu passed, face still in the cushion so technically he actually waved at a wall, but the meaning was clear. Hide snuggled deeper into the couch. 

The good food and tiring day was taking its toll on him. If he laid here much longer, he wouldn’t be able to keep from falling asleep. Still, it felt so good to close his eyes, just for a few moments…

 “Err… Mr. Nagachika?” Tooru asked hesitantly. After a long moment of silence, he reached over and gently poked the blond.

 Hide startled upwards, with a loud, “I’m awake!” and almost fell off the couch. “I’m so awake, good golly gosh-” Hide was interrupted by a loud yawn. “- so awake, ‘wasn’t asleep at all. Soz.”

 Tooru glanced back at Haise for help, but his mentor seemed to be absorbed in finishing up the dishes. “What does… ‘soz’ mean?”

 "It means ‘sorry’!” Piped in Saiko from the kitchen.

 “Yeah, that,” Hide agreed.

* * *

“We’ll let these ones air dry,” Haise held set aside the few bowls left over and the large pot, Saiko nodding as she dropped the slightly damp towel in the sink “How’s Hide doing over there, Mutsuki?”

  
Tooru stood, leaning over Hide with a slightly concerned expression, “I think he’s about to pass out.”  
  
Haise laughed as he folded his apron, setting the bright yellow article aside before walking over to the couch to take a look at his sleepy guest, Saiko following right behind.  
  
“He can stay in my room…” Saiko muttered, Haise imagining little stars in her eyes just by her tone.  
  
“I’m driving him home, Saiko,” The instructor kneeled in front of Hide, gently placing a hand on his knee. “Unless he’d like to stay…”

* * *

Hide yawned, and slapped himself across the face with a loud smack, startling everyone in the room. “I’m awake,” he told Haise. “And I don’t have work tomorrow so I can stay wherever. Although I don’t really want to impose…”

“It wouldn’t be an imposition!” Saiko piped in eagerly. For some reason a chill ran down the back of his neck. Something about the way she was smiling just a little too widely....

“Ah, I think I’ll just go home, thank you… I’m pretty sure my neighbors would gossip something fierce if I came home in the morning in the same clothes they saw me leave in.” Hide does a fairly good impression of a girlish giggle, and stands a little too quickly, knocking into a now upright Haise.

* * *

 Haise sends hide a concerned look as the blonde stumbled to his feet, the instructor not remembering alcohol to be apart of their meal, so he blamed the others unsteady legs and droopy gaze on over exertion and tiredness. Haise held on to his upper arms, supporting the taller male with little to no effort.

  
“I’ll just take him home” He sent Saiko a smile, the girl pouting momentarily before turning on her heel to head to her room.  
  
“Want... me to wait for you?” Tooru asked, shifting from one leg to the next as Haise practically dragged Hide around the sofa.  
  
“I have a key,” Haise raised his brows, Hide clumsily walking along with him. “You can lock the door and head to bed Mutsuki... but thank you.”  
  
\- - - - - - - -   
  
Forty minutes, and one very quiet car ride later, Haise pulled up in to the unused parking space for Hides apartment. He shut off the car in an almost robotic fashion, arms falling to his sides as the engine gave it’s last few purrs, any and all lights going out to leave the two of them in darkness.  
  
Haise stared out at the car in front of him, eyes boring into the license plate, tracing each character meticulously. Beside him Hide was fast asleep, and he could picture it perfectly. The blondes chair was slightly inclined, head rolled to the side, those perfect dirty blonde lashes just barely touching his cheeks. His chest would rise and fall at an even pace, lips parted, the tiniest bit of drool escaping the side of his mouth.  
No matter how he looked at it, he wasn’t Kaneki, and it wasn’t just his mind. This body, it was his now, stolen; but his. He felt complete around Hide, yet at the same time it was as if everything he is was crumbling apart. He didn’t feel right, but then he did. Hide made him feel like he belonged, but was that because he was Kaneki, or because Hide actually liked him?   
  
Hide did say that his and Kaneki's relationship wasn’t anything like they had…  
  


Could he be trying to build something with him, that he knew he couldn’t with Kaneki Ken?  
  
Haise couldn’t escape these destructive thoughts, the clicking eating away at his mind, a heavy feeling weighing down his heart.  
  
What was he doing...If they thought…-the CCG, if they thought, even for a second, that he was Kaneki…  
  
Haise would disappear.  
  
He willed his body to move, gently opening the car door open before closing it quietly behind him. The investigator rounded the vehicle, breath catching in his throat as he now peered at Hide through the window. Haise let his hand hover over the door handle, the perfect image he had of Hide right in front of him now, just as he imagined.  
  
 _‘Like the sun...’_

 A familiar voice rang in his ears, and instead of fighting against it, he could only nod in agreement.

“Like the sun…”  
  
As carefully as he could, Haise managed to untangle Hide from the seat belt, hooking his arm under the blond's torso and legs before hoisting him up bridal style. He smiled to himself, kicking the car door behind him before effortlessly making his way up the steps.  
  
He knew where Hide's apartment was. The problem he had wasn’t related to location, but the lock he now stared at. Haise wondered if Hide's keys were perhaps in the car with his backpack, but before he left he would look through the other's pockets.  
  
Haise eased Hide against the door, leaving him to sit upright, hands patting over the pockets to his jacket before moving to his jeans.

* * *

 Hide felt like he was floating through the air, or in a warm pool of water. Just effortlessly drifting along.

 Vaguely he felt there should be something he was supposed to be doing, or maybe going, but it felt so far away next to this strange warmth he was nestled against. Hide let out a small sigh of happiness. Here everything felt nice and warmsnugglegood.

 So when the warmsnugglegood became hardcoldscratchy, Hide felt the slightest tinge of annoyance. Especially when his head knocked (gently) against a hard surface.

 Waking slightly, Hide cracked his eyes open. It was… Haise. Oh, Haise was nice. He liked Haise. He also liked Kaneki. and Kaneki and Haise were the same so it was good, everything was good. Especially the way Haise was rubbing along his hips, as if searching for something. That felt very nice, and reminded him a bit of an incident which had happened earlier that day...

 “Haise,” Hide mumbled, intending to ask what the investigator was doing. But as Haise looked up to his face, eyes wide and startled, that suddenly seemed like a lot of effort. And it would just be… a whole lot easier… to just, sort of, lean forward a bit into a nice kiss…

 _It’s a good thing I’m dreaming_ , Hide thought distantly, _or this would be a pretty embarrassing thing to do._

* * *

 Haise held his breath when he heard his name, Hide's voice low and raspy, the sleepy voice  breaking through the soft ruffle of rustling clothes. Blinking, Haise looked up, eyes widening as his lips met with the taller male's. It was soft, and inviting, and oh so gentle. Haise wanted nothing more than to just reach up and….

  
Oh…  
  
Well he was doing it anyway…  
  
The CCG agent kneeled in front of Hide, one hand still half shoved inside the blondes jean pocket, the other hand coming up to press against his neck, fingers lightly tracing his jaw. It was simple, just their mouths pressed against each other for the briefest of seconds.  
  
Pulling back, Haise stared pointedly, smiling a little as he pulled exactly what he was looking for out of Hides pocket.  
  
“Found it,” He held the little metal thing up, thumb stroking Hides cheek, a soft sigh escaping him before he stood upright once more “C'mon sleepy head... You’re home,” he lightly tapped Hides knee with his shoe, Haise's lips tingling.  
  
When Hide kissed him, he couldn’t help but think that he’d be anyone the blond wanted him to be.

* * *

 Hide felt a soft warmth against his neck, lightly tracing his jaw and cheek, and oh, that was nice. So nice. Almost as nice as the kiss had been, but that ended far too soon.

 The loss of warmth of and scuffle of shoe against concrete was the only warning he got before a shoe tapped him. Hide jerked awake, cracking his head back against the concrete wall with a muffled curse.

 Haise was hovering with concern in an instant, to Hide’s utter embarrassment. “Ouch, sorry, was I asleep? You should have woken me up, haha,” Hide grabbed the key that Haise offered him, unlocking his apartment in one smooth motion.

Hide turned back to look at Haise, still rubbing his slightly throbbing head. “Would… Would you like to come in? It could be the same as last time… or, um, not…”

* * *

 Haise gave over the key, watching Hide open the apartment with slight concern, since the blonde had JUST smacked his head and all. He was aware of just how close they were, their arms almost touching, just like earlier after-

  
Haise swallowed, eyes glued to the concrete, fingers balling into fists at his side.  
  
Come in? Slowly he looked up, peeking through thick black lashes, eyes narrowed and stare intense. The same as last time... or not…?  
  
Haise straightened, still watching Hide with a guarded expression, the investigator clearing his throat before asking the only question that seemed to stand as a barrier for him at the moment “Aren’t you... tired?” His voice dropped, a low breathy whisper in his throat, those implications of what could be more than simply sleeping in the same bed together clouding both his thoughts and better judgement.  
  
What on earth was this... this human doing to him?

* * *

 “Ahaha… That last jolt woke me up pretty well.” Hide laughed, a bit nervously. He wasn’t entirely sure if it was intentional or not, but that voice?? just now??? had been???? really, uh… really reminded him of...

Hide mentally smacked himself. Don’t be that douche bag. Don’t be that bag of douche who thinks with his dick and pressures his very attractive (boyfriend? lover? fwb? he’d have to ponder that later) into sex before he’s ready. Especially if what he had discovered the last time they had been in his apartment at this time of night, when he discovered that Haise/Kaneki had never…

Woop, he was right back in the gutter again. Time to go to plan b, and offer the out.

“It’s really okay if you don’t want to. I’ll understand. We’ve really only just met each other, technically, and I-”

* * *

Haise could barely contain himself, his eyes wide and blown out, watching in both fascination and utter turmoil as the other stumbled over his thoughts. ‘Speak faster’, he kept thinking. He could feel the muscles in in his back twitch, toes curling in his shoes, Hides words dripping like molasses from his lips. It was like the world was set in slow motion, blood that usually rushed through his veins slowing to a crawl, and the sound of Hide's stuttering heartbeat echoing around him.

  
The blonde was nervous, the half ghoul could practically smell it on him.  
  
Why?  
  
 _‘you know why…’_  
  
Haise sucked in a deep breath, licking his lips as the taller male rambled on, brows furrowing as his body seemed to move on its own. With those wide owlish eyes, Haise caught Hide's gaze, head turning only slightly as he pressed his mouth against the other's for the second time that night.   
  
He stayed like that for a few short seconds, lashes fluttering as Haise re-positioned himself, body moving to press flush against Hide. The feeling of Hide's body heat sinking into his own flesh was maddening, and the faint taste on his tongue even more so.  
  
“I’d love to stay…” Haise whispered against Hide's mouth, only slightly muffled by the sweet smelling skin he so wanted to just bite down on and- ”Since you’re so... awake...”

* * *

The second kiss of the night was even better than the first, now that Hide was fully awake and in control of his faculties. The feeling of Haise’s lips meeting his own felt so good. And when Haise presses their bodies close together he had to fight down the urge to wrap himself around the investigator and turn their so far mostly chaste kiss into a full blown make out.

 He had neighbors, after all.

 But Haise made that an easy thing to forget as he whispered against his lips… Instead, the blonde smiled and gently tugged the investigator into the apartment, kicking the door shut behind them.

And then gently pushed him against that door and kissed him into it, bringing his hands up to tangle in those white-and-black locks.

* * *

Haise groaned at the feeling of Hide tugging at his clothes, leading him inside the apartment before guiding his body back against the door. Haise gripped the blondes sides, bunching up Hides shirt for a better grip, yanking on the fabric to the point where it almost tore. 

  
He parted his lips against the blond's, gasping softly as he now snaked his arms around Hides waist, crushing their hips together in the next instant. Haise really didn’t know what to expect, but it wasn’t the little white pinpricks behind his eyes, or a this powerful and pleasurable jolt that ran up his spine. He was almost afraid to do it again, so instead he let his hands wander up Hide's back, grabbing desperately at the fabric over his shoulder blades.  
  
“Shit…” He breathed into the kiss, a low moan rumbling in the investigators chest before he pressed his mouth a little more urgently against his new-found lover's.

* * *

At Haise’s gasp, Hide took the opportunity to open his lips and bring his tongue into play, licking softly at Haise’s and moaning slightly at the taste of him. God. It should be illegal to be this sexy. Hide never wanted to stop kissing him and he regretted every second of his life up to now that did not include making out with Haise.

 He was just beginning to think that the kiss could not get any better, and that he could be content to fall asleep just licking and nipping and sucking face when Haise was suddenly pulling him closer- when did his hands get there? Hide hadn’t even noticed- and grinding them together. And. A certain part of Hide- which Haise had met earlier that day and which it seemed he wished to see again- was very happy at the motion. Hide moaned into the kiss, tightening his grip in Haise’s hair, and ground Haise against the door with his hips. 

* * *

As soon as that tongue dipped in to his mouth, Haise could feel that fuzzy cloud settle in his mind once again. He pushed back, tongue dipping into Hides mouth briefly, curling behind his teeth before pulling out. After each little tongue escapade, Haise's lips would seal against the blondes, leaving a long deep kiss behind before repeating the process.

Haise rolled his hips, meeting Hide with full force, a soft broken moan that sounded suspiciously like the blond's name. His whole body moved like a wave, curling and grinding back against the other, his arms helping Hide to stay glued to him all the while. Haise could feel his kiss getting sloppy, needy, and more than anything, aggressive. Quickly he broke the contact between their lips, clicking his teeth. He wanted to capture that tongue that kissed him oh so gently, bite down on it, suck on it-  
  
“Hide” He was surprised at how clear his voice was, Haise littering Hides chin with open mouthed kisses, dipping his head under the others chin to lick and bite at the smooth expanse of flesh “...Hide…”  
  
His hands were travelling back down again, nails dragging over the fabric, Haise increasing the pressure as he got lower and lower. Long thin digits rested just above Hides jeans, tips just barely slipping in to brush the hem of what Haise could only assume were boxers. He bit down, not hard, but just enough to make the skin dimple under his teeth. His leg slipped between Hides knees, pressing up almost hesitantly despite Haise's more...bold advances. His own boxers were getting a bit tight, almost painfully so, and Haise was anxious to know if Hide was in the same boat. 

* * *

Hide moaned at the sound of his name, gasping gently and tipping his head back to allow Haise to do as he wished. He didn’t bother to bite down a low groan at the feel of teeth against his neck. Distantly, he knew that he should be worried, as he was literally making out with a fucking ghoul here, but his brain kept on getting stuck on the word fucking and that is really all he could think about right now.

He wanted to hear Haise’s moans, the sounds he’d make when Hide felt up, licked, and finally sank onto the hard lump he can feel rubbing against him, taking it deep inside him… God Hide could feel his dick throb at the thought. Hopefully Haise would be up for a round two. And three. And maybe even four, if Hide could stay awake long enough…

But suddenly Haise’s fingers were moving, scratching down his back, beneath his jeans… " _Yes_ ,” Hide whispered, and as if in response Haise bit down and fffuuuuck, that was good. Hide unthreaded his fingers, dropping his arms almost unconsciously from pleasure. “ _Harder_ ,” he whispered, suddenly remembering his limbs work. He wrapped one arm around to claw at Haise’s back and was just contemplating what to do with the other when Haise ground his knee against Hide’s crotch, inciting a soft whining noise he didn’t know he could make.

Decision made, he reached to the front of Haise’s pants and kneaded at the hard lump he found there.

* * *

Haise's eyes were hooded, glancing to the side as if he expected to see Hides expression, but was only met with the sharp line of his jaw. The delicious feeling of nails against his scalp disappears, the investigator groaning his dissatisfaction, mourning over the loss of contact of Hide's hands on his body for only a second. Where the blonde put his hands next however had Haise forgetting all about the tingling pressure at the base of his roots, fingers lightly pulling his hair with need….want…

He snapped his hips forward, crushing Hides hand between them, hands sinking further past the hem of his jeans to take two good handfuls of ass. It was almost like he was trying to become one with the other, what with how hard he was holding Hide against him. Haise could feel his palm press down and squish his head, fingers curling against his shaft, and dear god why were there clothes between them.   
  
Haise gasped, choking before letting out a shuddering breath against the abused red flesh, gaze now fixated on the angry red mark.  
  
“Harder?” Haise licked his lips, moving down a little to kiss just above Hides collarbone. Slowly he opened his mouth, spit sticking to his lips and where he’d just kissed, tongue poking out to shyly lick up the saliva. Haise bared his teeth eyes closing as he relished the feeling of taking pulsing, living flesh in to his mouth.   
  
Never before did he think that sinking his teeth in to a living person would bring him any pleasure whatsoever. He was terrified of hurting people, of what he was, and what he was capable of doing.  
  
But right now, at this moment, he thought that he couldn’t be any happier tasting Hide like no other human could.  
  
He didn’t draw blood, but he did bite down hard enough to get a good grip, and then he pulled. It wasn’t vicious, or particularly rough, but slow and sensual...thought out and careful. There was no way he would hurt Hide...he was almost positive that he was incapable of doing so…  
  
But this fog...this delicious fuzz that numbed his thoughts and made him-  
  
Haise let go, admiring his teeth marks before doing it again, just a little to the left this time however.  
  
He was moving closer and closer to Hides shoulder, reveling in the others moans and breathy whispers, nosing the T-shirt out of the way as he went.   
Haise lifted his leg a little higher, Hides hard length strained behind his jeans, the black and white haired man only making the situation worse by crushing his knee against him. His hands were trembling as they slipped back up, Haise moving them back down immediately in one fluid motion; only this time Haise's nails were biting in to skin and not the silky fabric of boxers.

* * *

“ _Fuck_ ,” Hide groaned as Haise crushed them together. And then his hands are on his ass and clenching and _fuckfuckfuck_ he needed to be fucked right there and now.

 And then the ghoul was back at his neck and- fuck, yesgood pain and his cock hardened painfully tight. As Haise gnawed on him, Hide wanted to open his mouth, to say _yes, this is amazing,_ or maybe even _fuck I am going to cum if you keep this up_ but instead he found himself whispering “fuck me fuck me fuck me” over and over again.

 Which was then cut off by a high pitched noise as Haise crushed his junk again (painfully tight yes good _fuck_ Hide was starting to think that might be a thing for him), and it was all Hide could do to focus his mind enough to slip his hand up, and down into Haise’s pants, reaching through the soft cotton of his underwear to trace the wet spot soaked with precum.

 Hide groaned at the sensation and even through his lustful haze wondered what it would be like to taste him, to lick at the salty cum beading at the tip, what it would feel like to take him in his mouth and just have him fuck his throat… Hide’d never had much of a gag reflex, and it had been so long…

Some other time, because right then he would not even make it out of his shorts without blowing his load with the way Haise kept ravaging his neck like that.

* * *

Haise continued to bite Hide, the hem of his shirt not allowing him to travel very far over his shoulder, so he instead made his way back up the blondes neck. He tasted so good, Haise wanted to ravish every part of him, unrestrained and unrestricted. He’d put his mouth on every square inch of Hides body, and not a single fucking person would be able to stop him…

“Hide…” Haise rolled his hips again, eyes rolling in to the back of his head, the wave of pleasure that washed over his groin eliciting a long low moan “Ah-shit…”   
  
Hide chanted in his ear, Haise snapping his head back to stare at the other, eyes blown out like a cat fixated on something. His nose brushed Hides, leg pulling up to grind almost painfully against the bulge trapped behind jeans, Haise shivering at the beautiful sound Hide made. He tilted his head up, mouth open and tongue poised, ready to kiss Hide senseless. Before he could capture those lips with his own, Haise found himself crying out just as Hide had, eyes closing tightly as he pressed his cheek  to the blondes.  
  
“Y-yes…” His fingers moved, tracing the crack of Hides ass before spreading those firm cheeks, pointer finger just slipping a little further- “ _Fuck_ yes…”

 He thrust into the hand in his pants, panting as he found his hands moving on their own, fingers just lightly pushing against Hide's too tight hole. How would he even fit…

  
Abruptly Haise pulled his hands away, sliding them out and over Hides thighs, quickly and effortlessly lifting the other off the floor “Hold on-” Haise's breath hitched, trapping Hides one hand between them, rocking at an almost brutal pace against the groping digits. Hides own member was squished on the other side, Haise wanting nothing more than to have their dicks rubbing up against each other, precum mixing between them, making the movements hot and slick and …. _oh god_.

 “I want to so bad,” Haise sounded strained, supporting Hide as he leaned against the door “I... don’t think I can... hold on,” His chest was heaving, drool leaking out the side of his mouth, tears forming in the corners of his eyes, “Hide-” He cut off his own moan, kissing Hide with trembling lips.

* * *

“ ‘s okay,” Hide mumbled, only half-aware of what he was saying. It wasn’t long before he devolved into nothing but meaningless noises and breathy gasps, his orgasm quickly building from the friction of Haise’s motions and the trapped tightness of his cock.

 Positioned like this, with Haise rutting against his crotch, it wasn’t hard to imagine that he really was thrusting inside of him, ramming into him and destroying his perky little ass-

 Hide’s hand clumsily groped deeper into Haise’s underwear, squeezing around the cotton around his shaft, and jerking it roughly as he felt his own cock begin to pulse in a familiar cresting sensation. “I’m cu- I’m cum,” he gasped and blew his load.

 A distant corner of his mind thought Damn. Didn’t make it out of the pants. Well, we’ll see how good his refractory period is...

* * *

It was getting hotter by the second, liquid fire coursing through him, flames licking at his nerves. He was a moaning mess, trying his best to say Hides name over and over like some prayer, his words broken and only _just_ making sense. The hand on his cock tightened, roughly stroking him through his underwear, making it almost impossible to keep a constant pace as he was now trying to drive himself over the edge. He wanted to cum, to cover Hides hand, and continue to use those slippery extremities to feel even better. Underwear was his barrier, the fabric causing a friction that wasn’t unpleasant, but in no way was it better than skin to skin contact.

His vision was blurry, Haise trying his best to focus on Hides erotic expression, biting his lip to the point where he drew blood. He thrust upwards, Haise cursing these god forsaken clothes, the investigator wanting to see his throbbing dick. He wanted to see it bob in excitement, he wanted to watch as he mashed their bodies together and-  
  
“Fuck!” Haise hissed, movements erratic now as he watched Hide come undone, Haise only wishing he could have been closer….so much _closer._  
  
He knew it was creepy….maybe crude and disgusting, but he could smell it...smell his sex and everything that Hide was, and fuck did it smell-  
  
“-so good-”  
  
 _‘so good,’_  
  
His eyes screwed shut, a blinding white light flashing behind his eyelids, voice ripping from his throat with one of the most lewd sounds he’d ever heard. He couldn’t stop himself from shaking, and it felt like his face was leaking, fuck Haise was just a mess. He’d never felt anything so... powerful wrack his body before... and the way he felt... he wanted Hide to feel like this too.  
  
“I must look... so gross,” A pain throbbed behind his eyes, hands gripping Hide's thighs so tight that they were sure to bruise “Sorry I... lost it.” He swallowed, resuming a slow rocking of his hips once more, “Did it... feel good Hide…”  
  
 _‘Don’t ask him that….so embarrassing...’_

* * *

Hide chuckled lowly, still panting. Still coming down from the waves of his orgasm, he couldn’t even muster the energy for sarcasm. “Yeah, it was pretty great.”

 Lazily he raised the hand that hadn’t been creamed on and caressed Haise’s face gently. “You’re really pretty like this.”

 Hide wiped his hand (mostly) clean on his jeans, then wrapped his arms around Haise, tugging him down gently with a soft “C’mere.”

 He nuzzled into Haise’s shoulder gently. “I am the cuddle montster. Rawr.”

* * *

Haise blinked sleepily, brows furrowing in uncertainty, legs quivering as he slowly slipped down the door; ass finally meeting the floor with a thud. Hide wasn’t heavy, at least not to Haise, but that was probably because he was a ghoul; nothing really seemed heavy to him. Still he sat there, exhausted for the most part, Hide cradling his head in a comforting sort of way. Of course it wasn’t all sweet, that was too simple, and simple just wasn’t Hide…

Haise's shoulders shook, his laugh light and airy, arms wrapping around Hide in a loose embrace. This guy was too much sometimes.   
  
“You’re ridiculous…” Was all he could say, kissing Hide's ear with an audible smack, “you’re so cute-” and _now_ of all times he began to blush at his own words “Really…”

* * *

Hide hummed, still nuzzling happily. A sudden thought made him still.

“Umm, your, uh, your kids are going to be a bit… alarmed.. If you don’t come back, aren’t they? So, umm, if you need to text them, or…”

Hide shrugged a little sheepishly. “I’ve got a laundry machine, so if we put your clothes in now, and hang them to dry in an hour, they should be fine by morning.”

Another thought struck him. “I… I promise this isn’t a ploy to get you out of your clothes, although that might be an added bonus.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a refresher- _Kakugan_ is the red/black eye thing. _Kagune_ are the tenta-dealies.  
>  ~~what no i totally did not mix them up when we first rp'd this what kind of tokyo ghoul fan do you take me for~~

Haise groaned, head laying back against the door in thought. “Yeah…” He looked down the bridge of his nose, light grey meeting honey brown, Hide continuing to speak, the last thing being him trying to promise he just wasn't just trying to get him out of his clothes.  
  
Haise smiled softly, laughing again as he reached up slick back his sweaty bangs. “I wanted my clothes off five minutes ago,” he wiggled his hips, cringing now at the sticky mess in his pants. “The Quinx will be fine...I have to be back early to grab some files for Akira…” He grinned nervously, looking to the side as he scratched his cheek. “I left my phone in the car... but it should be okay...”  
  
Despite them being young adults already, he did still worry…  
  
“You don’t mind if i stay over?” He looked back to Hide, bringing the hand that was in his hair to touch the others cheek. “I dont want to wake you up so early…”

* * *

Hide smiled mischievously, and leaned close to whisper in Haise’s ear. “Well, I wasn’t planning on getting much sleep tonight anyway,” He pressed a kiss to Haise’s neck, lightly nibbling until he felt a shudder of pleasure from the investigator.

Just as quickly as it began, Hide ended the moment by pulling  away and standing, stripping off his shirt carelessly and walking over to the kitchenette. “I’ll take care of the laundry now while I’m still thinking about it. Do you want to go to the car and get your phone? This thing takes a while to heat up the water it needs so you should have time.”

* * *

Haise sat in a stunned silence, staring up at hide as the blonde stood up to walk away, leaving him there with a pleasant pulsing sensation in his lower abdomen. He wanted to reach out and grab his wrist, drag him back down to the floor, and  _make_  him fulfill that promise of no sleep.

  
 _‘You’re insatiable, really... have you no shame?’_  
  
“Shut up,” Haise breathed, face burning, the investigator hoping that Hide hadn’t heard him. “-Yeah, I’ll go get my phone-” He spoke up now, wiping his sweaty hands on his pants. “I’ll... be back…”

* * *

Twenty minutes later Haise was seated at the tiny kitchen table, frowning at his phone.

Hide was staring intently at his laundry machine, testing to see how long it would take his psychic powers to make the water warm up this time. The machine dinged and Hide glanced at the clock. Twenty-two minutes, a new personal record.

“Naked time!” He called out, stripping himself of his shorts and boxers and tossing them in.

He looked over to Haise expectantly.

* * *

Haise had come back looking a little more than uncomfortable, and he’d been sitting with the same troubled expression for about... had it been half an hour? He didn’t know. All he knew was that the longer he sat there, the colder and grosser the mess in his pants felt.

  
He was sure to text the Quinxes, sending the message that ‘[He would]n’t be home tonight’ to all four of them, making sure to add p.s.: there are fresh eggs in the drawer, please be careful when using the stove, the top right element is finicky.  
  
Haise was brought out of his daze when Hide called to him, shouting something about nake-oh dear god...  
  
Haise stared, wide eyed, looking the blonde up and down with his lips forming a small “o”.  
  
Haise swallowed, face completely red as he stood from his seat a little awkwardly. Averting his gaze from Hide, Haise popped the button on his pants, then hooked his thumbs under the hem to slowly pull down the soiled garments. Haise turned his back to the blond, not as embarrassed that other saw his ass so much as he would have been if his whole...mess was exposed.  
  
“Here…” Haise held back his pants and briefs, looking over his shoulder to give Hide another once over.

* * *

“Okay, thanks. You remember where the bathroom is, right?” Hide asked, turning towards the machine. He really did not know what Haise was so embarrassed about, he and Kaneki used to bathe together all the tim-

Oh, shit. Hide mentally (and physically once his hands are free) face palmed. Way to confuse your boyfriend with your childhood friend, idiot.

Especially since they are two different people, which still made Hide a bit sad. Not that he’d trade Haise for the world, but still… It would be nice to be able to talk to Kaneki again.

Which was definitely not something he should be thinking about while staring at Haise’s jizz-stained pants. Hide poured in the detergent, closed the lid with a soft snap, and set the cycle and timer.

Welp, time to go and face the music.

Hide headed back into his bedroom to hear the bathroom faucet running. Waiting until it stopped, Hide nervously shifted from foot to foot as Kaneki rummaged around. When he emerged, Hide opened his mouth to apologize, to explain that he was not an exhibitionist, that he was being an idiot again.

Instead what came out was, “Can I blow you?”

* * *

Haise sighed, rubbing his damp hair with one of Hides fluffy towels, swallowing thickly as his flushed expression stared back at him in the mirror. He couldn’t believe what he’d just done a while ago, it was like he was a whole different person. Was this why ghouls couldn’t live with humans? Even if they wanted too…. was it that they couldn’t coexist because they just... were too tempted to take a bite…

Haise didn’t really bite Hide, at least not hard enough to leave any permanent damage, but it worried the investigator that he had lost control like that. He was an animal, thirsty for release-and he wasn’t exactly excited to find out what else he’d do to Hide without better judgement.   
  
He touched his lips, a small frown forming as he thought on it more. Hide made him feel like... like he was taking a drink of water for the first time in years...like he was just given air once more after suffocating...it was a familiar warm feeling of love and warmth-and  _life_ ….  
  
It was like he tasted it before.  
  
 _‘...Haise’_    
  
“Shut up-” He pleaded, voice weak as the pain behind his eyes returned with visions of a smiling face, blood, and darkness, “-please…”  
  
He took a deep breath, wiping his face down with his towel before wrapping it around his waist.  
  
Holding his head high, Haise exited back into Hides room, stopping dead in his tracks as he was met with the others abrupt request.  
  
Haise couldn’t quite say that came out of nowhere, but he honestly wasn’t... expecting that.  
  
“I…” He gulped, eyes wide, hand moving up from the loosely wrapped towel to his taught stomach. He found his legs carrying him closer, eyes watching the other fondly as he came to stand directly in front of Hide, fingers drawing worried circles just under his belly button. He wondered if Hide had gotten cleaned up while he was in the shower, or if maybe he wanted help-  
  
 _‘You keep thinking these dirty things about my friend. Aren’t you ashamed?’_  
  
That annoyed voice in the back of his mind was getting louder each time it spoke.  
  
Haise shuddered, eyes flashing with something akin to worry “You… want to what?”   
  
 _‘He wants to suck your dick...’_  
  
The investigators eyes widened, cock jumping to attention, a lump forming in his throat as he tried to say something. Hide was going to...he wanted to...put his mouth… _-oh fuck yes **please**._  
  
 _‘Sorry, **our**  dick...’_  
  
“Shit-...”

* * *

Hide could feel himself flush with embarrassment. It’s not as though he wouldn’t be completely fine with that- err, more than fine, especially if the way Haise’s pupils had darkened with interest were indicative of his opinion of the matter- but that really hadn’t been what he meant to say, no, needed to say.

“Err, sorry. I meant to say something else, but wow, you are really attractive! Haha. Blowing someone… refers to, ah, o-oral sex.” Man, Hide can feel his face and neck burning. Although the latter may not be quite as obvious, if the teeth marks he had seen while cleaning up at the kitchen sink were any indication…

“I’m having a hard time differentiating you from Kaneki,” He confessed quietly, frowning in shame. “I mean, I really like you, and I find you very attractive, but I also love Kaneki and I just…”

Hide shook his head, torn. If only there was some concept, some form of of a relationship where someone could feel love, attraction, and strong bonds with more than one person at a time…!

“Uh, but if you just want this to be about sex, that’s cool too! I mean, that offer is still totally on the table, so…”

* * *

It was fairly obvious to Haise that Hide had trouble distinguishing between him and Kaneki; but how could he not. He stood there wearing a face that wasn’t his own to begin with. Everyday he woke up wondering if today was when he’d disappear. 

Constantly that voice begged, and pleaded, and screamed for Haise to return what didn’t belong to him…  
  
But he held on…  
  
And the investigator knew Hide was fond of him because essentially... in some ways…. he really was Kaneki. Only on the outside... but still…  
  
It was hard to actually hear it from Hide himself.  
  
His heart thumped painfully behind his rib cage, subtly mouthing, ‘I know,’ as a follow up to Hide's confession, the embarrassment leaving him completely to be replaced with a maddening sadness.   
  
The only reason Hide even remotely liked him…. thought he was attractive... was because he loved Kaneki Ken. Haise was almost certain of it.  
  
 _‘Haise look at me...’_  
  
And this time he did, because the voice was kind and sympathetic, the child before him holding out his arms wordlessly. In that space inside his head, that empty abyss where the two of them met, Haise felt safe there for the time being.  
  
 _‘Haise...Haise...’_  
  
The child stroked his hair, the investigator pulling the little white boy into his lap as he was comforted, Kaneki's voice much too low for that cute face.  
  
As those last words left Hides lips, Haise could feel something snap, like actually physically crack in his body. The little white boy turned his head, as if he were looking out at an imaginary Hide standing only a few feet away from them in the darkness. Haise followed suit, eyes narrowing, a frown marring both their features.  
  
 _‘Hide... you... idiot...’_  
  
“Yeah…” Haise breathed, replying to a voice that Hide couldn’t hear, raising his hand to finally discover where that snap had come from. His thumb had slipped up over his knuckle, cracking it with a loud sickening pop, Haise staring at it with a troubled expression for a few seconds before directing a more stern look at the blond.  
  
“Just sex?” Haise moved closer, knee slipping between Hides legs, stopping only because he met the mattress. He leaned over, slowly coming to stop with his face a hairs length away from the others, arms resting almost lazily on those broad shoulders “I don’t... want that,” his voice was low, barely audible as he spoke. “Hide I’m not... I’m not…” he stumbled over his words, the breathy tone of his voice in no way matching his confident and bold body language.  
  
 _‘You don’t just want to fuck him..._ ’  
  
Haise cringed, thinking that Kaneki really shouldn’t be saying those things with that body, and yet the child just smiled knowingly..  
  
“I’m not in it for the sex…” He was pushing Hide back against the mattress, laying over his body, trapping him against the sheets “Before I never... imagined I’d see you again but... here I am,” his brows furrowed, Kaneki holding on even tighter now. “I’m not Kaneki... that’s true…”  
  
 _‘You’re right...’_  
  
Haise kissed the blonde, gently, once... twice... one more time…  
  
“I’m Haise…”  
  
 _‘I’m Kaneki,’_  
  
He kissed Hide again, this time a little more forcefully.  
  
 _‘...We’re separate... but with this body of ours-’_  
  
“...We’re separate... but with this body of ours -We can’t help but love you.” He spoke in unison with that voice, finishing the thought himself.

* * *

At the sound of Haise’s cracking knuckles, Hide startled. Haise- and Kaneki, at least as far as he knew- had never done that before. And then Haise was pushing him down into the bed and crawling on top of him, and kissing him gently…

Hide almost had a hard time calming himself down enough from the kissing, sweet though they may have been, in order to fully listen to his lover. What he heard, however, was completely worth the effort.

Hide shivered as Kaneki and Haise finish their little impromptu pep talk. Well, if he hadn’t already aroused feelings of lust and love towards Haise, they would be now.

Speaking of arousal…

Hide pulled Haise down to his chest and rolled over so he was on top, and began kissing his cheeks, his nose, his eyelids… If Hide couldn’t summon the words past the lump in his throat, then he’d just have to express his overwhelming affection in actions.

After a few minutes of this, Hide began kissing and nibbling his way down Haise’s jaw, to suck hickeys into his smooth neck. At the soft gasp this elicited, Hide swallowed and found the lump in his throat to be gone. In a breathy whisper, he said, “So, about that very first thing I mentioned…”

* * *

A small sound of surprise escaped him when the blond yanked him down to press their bodies flush against each other. The contact of their kiss was broken as Hide rolled him over, their positions switched, and his towel-his towel as hiked a little to high up his thigh.

“Hide” Haise muttered, blushing as more kisses were littered over his cheeks and eyes, the investigator enjoying the warm giddy feeling that pooled in his stomach. This response was positive, most definitely, and he was more than happy to lay there and enjoy these few moments of peace and affection. He felt welcomed…  
  
 _‘Haise, it’s not over yet.’_  
  
The investigator blinked, eyes widening as a hot mouth traveled down his neck. Hide was biting and kissing him, stopping every now and then to make a seal against his skin, giving him a few hard sucks before moving on to the next area he’d abuse.   
  
Haise arched off the bed, lashes fluttering dreamily as Hide spoke again, a zing of excitement running up his spine at the mention of Hides earlier ‘question’. He reached up, tongue poking out the side of his mouth as he bucked his hips, the investigator running his hands up Hide's sides in an almost needy fashion.  
  
“Hide-yes... oh, please, yes…”

* * *

Hide didn’t even try to fight down a smile at Haise’s obvious excitement. He could probably skip down there right now and Haise would be perfectly happy. But Hide wanted to make up for the -although undeniably sexy- kinda short first time. Hide wanted to use this time to show exactly how he felt towards his lover.

Hide rose to his knees and hunched over to continue kissing at the investigator’s neck. Slowly, he worked his way down the nape and to his broad chest. He paused to lap at a hard nipple and, at the lovely gasp Haise emitted, brought his hand up to the other one to tease the pink bud.

Gently, Hide closed his teeth around the first nipple, before slowly pulling away and making his way further down.

Kissing down the hard stomach, Hide followed a short trail of dark hair down to Haise’s crotch, and finally to his twitching member. Taking the shaft in both hands, Hide angled the tip towards his face and went in close to lap at the precum beading at the tip.

* * *

Haise let his hands fall to the mattress, fingers pulling and tugging at the soft white cotton comforter, Haise gasping out softly as Hide bit and sucked on one of his nipples. The feeling was so foreign to him, but it wasn’t like he particularly disliked it, in fact he was really enjoying the way Hide's tongue would -flick! “Ah!”...just...like that….

  
His head rolled back, hair splaying out in every direction, Haise trembling as that mouth kissed lower and lower down his stomach. He could feel Hide gently pushing his towel off his hips, nose ghosting over the small trail of hair that lead to his dick, the cold air hitting his erection. It stood at attention, head rosy and plump, leaking a small amount of precum that threatened to drip down on to his stomach. Haise propped himself up on his elbows, chin pressed to his collarbone as he watched with a lustful gaze, Hide taking the member that curved against his body into his hands.  
  
He grit his teeth, hissing as Hide's tongue squished against his head, the sound of his saliva and pre making an erotic sound. Haise spread his legs a little, pulling his knees up to support his weight as he thrust up against Hide's mouth, biting the inside of his cheek as he watched the tip just push past the blonde's lips.

* * *

Hide’s eyes flickered up to Haise’s face as his lips twisted into a smile. The taste of his precum was surprisingly not bad, considering it was based mostly on a diet that Hide tried hard not to think about. It didn’t taste all that different from his own (shut up we’re all nineteen and drunk once). The taste of his dick, however, and the smell of it was… Intoxicating. Something about the heady scent, or the faint taste of salt and sweat, or perhaps because it was _Haise_ , but Hide did not think he’d ever tire of sucking this dick. He wanted it to live in his mouth forever. But that was a thought to consider another day.

His tongue lathed the slit of the head, before swirling all around the tip, earning him a pleased moan that made his own dick twitch happily. Hide popped off the head of the hard member, and held Haise’s gaze with lidded eyes as his hands fell to circle at the base. Still not breaking eye contact, Hide bent forward to lick from the base of the cock to flick at the head.

Repeating this motion, Hide made a mental note to buy lots of Popsicles and other such phallic objects and to eat them as sexily as possible in front of Haise.

 _Now,_ Hide grinned mentally, _it's time for the main event._ Licking up the shaft one last time, Hide made eye contact and smiled. “Stay still, okay? We can try the facefucking in a bit. I jus’ … wanna make you feel good.”

Hide formed a small ‘o’ with his lips, and sank his face fully onto Haise’s cock. Slowly he rose, and fell back down, taking it in just a little bit deeper. Once Haise was almost halfway in his mouth, Hide hollowed his cheeks and sucked.

* * *

His mouth hung open, eyes watery and narrowed as they focused on watching Hide lavish his cock, tongue pressing and swirling around his head before those sinful lips wrapped around him and-oooooh fuck. 

  
“Hide-” he gasped, the others name barely audible, Haise whining lowly at the loss of contact as Hide released his dick with an audible ‘pop’.  
  
His fingers sank further into the sheets, the fabric slowly tearing under that strain, the investigator swallowing nervously as Hides long fingers made contact with his throbbing flesh. They circled at the base of his dick, holding him firmly as Hide teasingly dragged his tongue up along the thick vein on the underside of his shaft, the blond keeping eye contact with him all the while.  
  
Haise had never known what ‘bedroom eyes’ would look like, or even how to describe it, but Hide had managed to oh so kindly fill in that definition with a perfect example; and Haise thanked him for that, because he wouldn’t have wanted to learn about that sort of face any other way.  
  
Hide repeated the action before just hovering, hot breath washing over his groin as he spoke, the smile on his face making Haise tremble under his touch. This guy..this guy-  
  
 _‘I can’t believe this-’_  
  
Haise's eyes widened, Kaneki's borderline moan echoing in his head, fingers straight up shoving themselves through the mattress as Hides words slowly clicked in place for him.  
  
“F-face fuck?!” He exclaimed, not really yelling in surprise so much as it was a particularly loud questioning groan. “F-face…” he tried to repeat it, arms giving out under him as Hide took him in his mouth once more, only this time the blonde sucks in a little more than just his head.   
He lay there staring up at the ceiling, tears threatening to spill over and run in to his hair, Haise practically quaking as he tried to keep his ass glued to the bed.   
He was experiencing a complete sensory overload, Hide's busy mouth working on him mercilessly, milking him for all he was worth. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine this-not even once…. ever…  
  
“Hide-hide!-” Haise cried out, not particularly proud of his very... unmanly sounds....  
  
He could just imagine what ‘face fucking’ entailed. He would reach out, fingers running back through those silken blonde locks, gently pulling his head down on his dick. As soon as he was half way in, just like he was now, he’d take that sweet smelling hair in a vice like grip and shove him the rest of the way down. He’d be able to feel Hide swallow around him, pull away, then do it _again_.  
  
 _‘You’re surprisingly cruel.’_  
  
Haise blinked, jaw clenching as he was scolded, a pang of guilt hitting him in the next few seconds. That _was_ pretty cruel wasn’t it.  
  
Why did Haise even find that arous-”Oh- shit!” he had two fistfuls of springs from the mattress, tugging at them as Hide gave him a long and powerful suck “Hide-!... that... feels-” he was shaking, mouth hanging open in a silent moan, that familiar white heat pooling in his groin. 

* * *

Hide couldn’t help but let out a groan at all of the cute noises Haise was making. And the way that Haise was almost ripping the sheets with his tight grip… It looked painful. Hide should ask him to try it on his shoulders next time.

Wait, what?

Hide pulled up off the cock, took a deep breath, and started lavishing attention on the head again kissing and licking away the spit and precum, trying to give Haise a moment to cool down.

It simply wouldn’t do to have him blow his load to soon.

Once his lover’s breathing had slowed down- well, slowed down some- Hide sent a silent prayer to elementary school age Kaneki who had taught him that if you stuck a toothbrush down your throat, you could activate a thing caller your gag reflex, throw up, pretend to be sick, and stay home from school. The conversation had indirectly lead to him finding out he didn’t have one.

Hide angled Haise’s dick to the proper angle, and leaned forward, feeling it slip further and further into his mouth until it hit his throat and he had to swallow around it. The noise Haise made, best described as the audible version of a key smash, was totally worth it.

* * *

He didn’t know at what point he’d arched off the bed, body lifting so his shoulders and head were his only support, Haise letting out a strained moan as he tried to keep his butt on the bed. Those tears finally spilled over, Haise gulping down air as if he couldn’t get enough, back meeting the mattress with a soft thud as Hide pulled away.

The sound he made was quiet, a pitiful whine at the loss of heat, the blond moving to only pay attention to his leaking head once more. Hide licked at his weeping slit, kissing and sucking almost lazily, Haise cursing under his breath. He had been so close...so close….  
  
Slowly, Haise came down from his high, nerves set at a pleasurable hum. He could feel his cock twitch under his grip, his fingers sinking deeper into the springs, gripping and bending the metal as he reestablished his hold. His breathing wasn’t particularly calm, but he was doing better than he was previously where he was gasping and struggling for air. His body had felt like it was burning, hell it still was, but that heat was no longer threatening to send him overboard.  
  
In the next moment he found himself biting down so hard on his lip that it split. His entire length was sheathed in Hide's mouth, head pushing up against the back of Hide's throat and slipping further even then. He could taste his own blood in his mouth, a strangled sound vibrating in his chest, Haise lifting his head to stare down the bridge of his nose at the beautiful man nestled in his crotch.   
  
Haise lifted a muscular leg, pushing his thigh against Hides head as he hooked that pale limb up and over his shoulder, heel digging in between his shoulder blades. He couldn’t help himself from thrusting up in to Hide's face, teeth digging deeper into his lip as he watched that cute nose of his graze that dark patch of hair, and those honey brown eyes looking up at him-  
  
“Hide,” His voice was low, blood pooling from the cut in his lip as he spoke, tongue running over his red stained teeth, “H-harder... suck hard,” He could feel it again, that _need_. “Feels... so good…”

* * *

 _God_ , that wrecked tone. Hide was going to have to save that one to the spank bank for later… perusal.

Hide moaned around Haise’s cock, letting the vibrations linger in his throat just a few seconds longer than technically necessary, but judging by the sound it incited from the investigator, was more than appreciated.

Hide slipped the hand not holding himself up down to between his legs to grip his throbbing cock. Jerking himself roughly, Hide bobbed his head up and down a few times before steeling himself for Haise’s request.

Opening his jaw just a bit wider (which kinda hurt- in fact everything was getting a bit sore, it really must _have_ been a while since he’d last blown anyone) he sucked in a bit of air, hollowed his cheeks, and swallowed around the head of Haise’s cock.

* * *

He could feel the muscles in Hides back twitching, see his shoulder moving as he reached down to more than likely touch himself, Haise only wishing he could have done it for him. His heart felt like it was going to explode, it’s rapid beating pounding behind his eardrums, lungs struggling to just keep up with all this…. _excitement._

 _‘fuck...’_ Kanekis voice cracked as Hide bobbed his head, Haise's internal chat of ‘yes, yes, yes, drowning out the incredulous _‘How is he so good at that?’_ from the white haired boy.

“I... don’t know,” Haise answered out loud, voice just barely above a whisper.  
  
He licked his lips, the foul taste of his own blood making him cringe some. He felt helpless, pinned down and out of control, that heavy fog sinking in and clouding his thoughts. He just wanted to push Hide down and mark up that body of his. He’d lick down just as Hide had done and…  
  
“Hide!” it was getting tighter, that pressure building and building to the point where he felt that familiar breaking point approaching. The muscles in Hide's throat constricted around the head of his cock, swallowing around him, trying to draw him in deeper. Haise wasn’t sure he was capable of that... and not just because he’d choke, but what if he tried to bite…  
  
“I’m... I-” Haise gasped, eyes widening as he threw his head back against the bed, the sound of metal snapping breaking through his broken sob. Haise's left arm had flown up to cover his face, bringing with it a fist full of bent and broken springs. He’d have to pay for that later…  
  
His body trembled in both pleasure and fear, Haise staring up in to the crook of his arm with wide watery eyes, his kakugan blaring to life. His teeth clicked, the other hand that had been nestled inside fabric and metal pulling out to reach down and shakily grab at Hides hair.  
  
“I...I’m cum-” He went rigid, face burning as he released into Hides mouth,  cum mixing with saliva and coating inside of his mouth and throat.

* * *

Just as Hide was beginning to wonder if he’d run out of air before Haise came, a strange ripping sound echoed through the room and Haise’s hand settled on the back of his head. The hot cock in his mouth pulsed once, twice, and a third time as Hide pulled off Haise’s throbbing dick.

Hide wiped his mouth and swallowed the rest of the (actually not too bad tasting) cum, before settling back on his haunches. Although he would love nothing more to curl up next to his lover and watch him recover from his orgasm, Hide’s dick was a goddamn 11 on the Mohs scale of hardness.

Instead he settled for sitting back and roughly jacking himself off, staring up at Haise through hooded eyes.

* * *

The room was filled with his and Hides panting, Haise's breathing a little more panicked as he tried to will away the darkened eye, lower back aching. To far...to much...it was all

  
 _‘Get a grip.’_  
  
Haise swallowed, listening to the sound of Hide pump himself, his own precum making a soft squelching sound that made him blush furiously.   
  
 _‘You didn’t lose control before right….not much... You won’t hurt Hide...’_  
  
“I’d never…” his breathing was no longer labored, Haise shutting his eyes tight as he brought his arm away from his face. There was no way he’d lose control. Back at the front entrance he was like an animal... here he… he watched Hide swallow him over and over, and fuck did he want to follow his example.  
  
He clenched his teeth, hair sticking to his forehead as he sat up, staring at Hide with two grey eyes now. He could keep it together…  
  
He sniffed, reaching up to wipe the few tears that had left wet trails down to his temples, watching Hide stroke himself with a hungry stare. In one fluid motion he grabbed Hide and pulled him up to kneel on the mattress in front of him, panting hot puffs of air against Hides ear as he licked and sucked at the red marks from earlier.  
  
“Hide,” Haise strained his neck up to kiss the blonde now, hands traveling down his stomach to rest on those exposed hips, his blood and saliva smearing down Hides chin. Why did his lip have to bleed so much? Would it even stop? Did Hide care if it got in his mouth?  
Honestly, right now, he didn’t care. He could taste himself as he lightly pressed his tongue to the seam of hides lips, and no it wasn’t the blood.  
  
He was rough as he snaked his hands up his back, fingers clawing at the fair skin,  searching for more... more…  
  
“Hide…” He dropped his hands back down, fingers confidently wrapping themselves around the throbbing member standing at attention despite his wavering tone. “Tell me what to do…” He stared up at Hide, unblinking as he searched the other's eyes “-How should I suck you…” His eye pulsed, Haise wincing for a fraction of a second.  
  
 _‘You’re so embarrassing...’_  
  
“Do I just...do it?”

* * *

He was almost too caught up in jerking off to notice Haise coming back to his senses, but even if he had been fully aware he would have been startled by how quickly his lover tugged him forward and went for his fresh bite marks. Hide gasped loudly, and agonizingly slowed his furious pumping to just tight squeezes as the ghoul pulled him into a kiss.

_Welp, it’s good to see he’s not averse to tasting himself… and is that blood? Damn._

But then Haise’s hands were going scratching lines down his back and fuck did that feel good. But it didn’t compare to the feeling of Haise’s hand prying his fingers from his dick and offering to put his mouth there instead.

Hide swallowed, his mind’s eye giving him the most gorgeous image of Haise on his knees, choking on his fat cock and cum-

Hide groaned and whispered, a tad hoarsely, “Just… take it slow. Don’t go all at once. Make sure to lick it and get it wet… Uh, and don’t worry about deepthroating it like I did, I’m already pretty close.” Hide’s low chuckle turned into a moan as Haise leaned in.

Before he could begin, however, Hide brought a hand up to Haise’s left cheek and lightly traced the eye. “It’s really hot when it gets all red… One of these days you should fuck me with your kagune.”

* * *

Haises heart stopped right there and then, pupils narrowing as Hides thumb swiped just over his cheekbone, pressing up under his eye. The vital organ stuttered in his chest, adrenaline rushing through his veins, kakugan flaring to life in the next instant. He wanted to cover it up, but his hands were busy doing more important things, like squeezing Hide's cock before roughly palming it back against his stomach. 

Fuck him with his kagune?!  
  
His breath came out as a hiss, eyes locked on the blondes, suddenly turning his head to take Hide's thumb between his teeth. He was breathing pretty heavily through his nose, giving the digit a good few harsh sucks, Haise swearing that if he wasn’t so spent he would have just gone and fucked him right then and there. He never thought about using his kagune for something like _that_ …

A guttural moan vibrated in his chest, gaze drifting down to focus on the twitching dick between Hide's legs, hands mercilessly tugging and pumping the engorged flesh. He could taste it- he could taste Hide on his tongue _already_ -

  
 _‘You’re biting him-'_  Kaneki sounded panicked, yet at the same time breathy. Really he shouldn’t be sounding like that in that kid's body-  
  
Haise released the thumb in his mouth, sighing longingly as he dragged his blood covered tongue down over Hides palm, breathing heavily against his wrist before deciding to leave a hickey there.  
  
He took his hands away from Hide's length, thumbs running along the faint 'V' leading to his groin, grabbing his hips as he released the now reddened skin from between his teeth. Haise lifted himself up, scooting back a bit before ducking his head down to press a kiss to the leaking cock, tongue poking out to lick away the salty liquid there. It mixed with the taste of Hide's blood, Haise's mouth popping open with a sudden gasp, plunging down on to that delicious cock greedily. He only make it half way down, eyes fluttering shut as he turned his head a bit, the blond's erection causing his cheek to protrude a bit.   
  


 _‘Haise...do it better’_  
  
The investigator growled, pulling back to sloppily lick at the under side, a slightly pink mixture of liquids running down his chin as he took Hides fat dick back in his mouth. He stared determined, flinching the further down her went... further... _further._  
  
“Ack-” He gasped, looking away to cough for a moment, gritting his teeth before trying again, “Mmm-” He hummed, cheeks hollowing as he sucked, bobbing his head a few times before sinking down till his nose was nestled against dark brown hair. Fuck he tasted so good...but he was gonna gag…  
  
 _‘Just hold on,’_

* * *

Hide watched Haise’s eyes darken (one literally) at his suggestion, and couldn’t hold back a smile. Well, he didn’t immediately kick him to the couch and call him a pervert with a ghoul fetish, so maybe he could play that off later as something said in the heat of the moment-

“Oh, _fuck_ ,” Hide whispered, throwing his head back violently as Haise started mouthing his thumb, sucking on it like he was imagining it was Hide’s dick, mouthing at it and teething it and _fuck_. Hide hissed in pleasure as Haise bit down, and his dick visibly throbbed. Hide couldn’t help but make a small thrusting motion into Haise’s hands, and groaned in disappointment when they fell away.

The groan turned into a gasp as something warm and wet licked at his cock, and Hide rolled his head back down to look-

Haise was, he was staring at it, like he was about to bite it off, and then he jerked forward to swallow half his cock.

“FUCK.” Hide screwed his eyes shut, trying and failing to fight the urge to thread his fingers in Haise’s hair. _God_. Haise’s mouth was so tight and warm… pure fucking heaven. It made him wonder how tight Hide’s ass would be…

“ _Fuck_ ,” Hide whispered reverently as the ghoul bobbed his head up and down, taking in more each time as he came back down. “ _You’re doing so good for me, fuck, Haise,_ soso _good, Oh my god…_ ”

The human felt himself clenching his fingers in Haise’s hair, probably ripping out a few strands as the investigator forced Hide’s dick down his throat entirely, swallowing around him, obviously trying not to choke.

Hide felt a familiar pulsing sensation begin and ripped Haise’s face off his member, jerking frantically.

Within seconds Hide was cumming all over Haise’s face.

The blond folded down onto his side like a limp noodle, smiling blissfully.

* * *

Haise stared up at the blond, any thought that wasn’t about or contributed to him sucking Hide's dick flitting away in to nothing. He honest to god could not think, this primal urge the only thing driving him right now, sucking and swallowing… holding himself there, cheeks reddening from the lack of oxygen.

  
He pulled back to take a gulp of air, sinking back down on to Hide, moaning at the praise he was given. He clawed at hides hips, holding him with a bruising force as he sucked roughly, teeth just lightly scraping the sensitive member. Haise winced, Hide weaving his fingers through his hair, roughly pulling him down on his dick. His lips wrapped firmly around the base of his cock, swallowing constantly, blazing red and grey eyes staring up with tears just barely hanging on.  
  
He couldn’t breathe-he was choking- _he couldn’t breathe_ … -Hide.  
  


Haise gasped, precious oxygen filling his lungs once more as Hide suddenly ripped him off his dick, holding his head there by his hair. He winced, staring up at the blond's face as it twisted in pleasure, panting heavily as he coughed and cleared his throat. He was no where near as good as Hide was at that…  
  
Yet with a few quick pumps, Hide had come, sperm shooting out to cover his eye and cheek, running down over his open and mouth and chin. Haise blinked, cum sticking to his eyelashes, kakugan focusing on a strand of white liquid that dripped down to his cheek. He pushed himself up to sit, knees spread out on either side, breathing still labored as he stared down at Hides grinning face. His tongue poked out the corner of his mouth to taste-”Good…” Haise groaned lowly, voice hoarse.  
  
He pulled his towel out from under his leg, reaching up to wipe his face, throwing the soiled cloth to the side before gently laying beside Hide. He could feel springs poking through the holes he’d made in the mattress, digging into his side as he lay there.  
  
Haise felt good, his body numb from head to toe, fingers tingling only as he reached up to gently brush them against Hides cheek. His eyes were hooded, kakugan staying strong as he gazed at Hide, a nervous flutter filling his stomach.  
  
“So... that was... nice” He swallowed, smiling shyly, brows furrowing slightly as Kaneki's presence just left him completely “I kind of ruined your bed…” He sounded tired.

* * *

“Very nice,” Hide hummed. Seeing his lover so close, Hide was unable to resist the urge to snake an arm around Haise and shuffle closer. “You’re great, that was great. Jesus, I’m pretty sure I came so hard I don’t have any jizz left.”

“And since you ruined my bed, I guess next time we’ll have to use yours.” Hide said lightly.

After a few moments, he relented. “Kidding. But you will have to come and help me pick out new mattress. Preferably not a water one.”

After a short while just lying there, cuddling together, Hide abruptly remembered their laundry. When he came back, he was yawning. “Ah, since you have work in approximately,” Hide glanced at the clock, “5 hours, do you want to go to sleep now? I’ll set the alarm.”

* * *

Haise didn’t even bother to turn away or hide his blushing face, and just continued to smile softly, watching as Hides cute butt ran out of the room to get their clothes. When the blond came back, he nodded wordlessly, reaching out to gently grab at his wrist, thumb stroking the hickey he’d made lovingly. Slowly he turn his hand over, glaring at the broken skin just over his knuckle, stomach doing flips.

  
With a frown he yanked Hide back on to the bed, holding him close, burying his face in to the blond locks before inhaling deeply.   
  
“On second thought I don’t need it,” He wouldn’t let Hide escape, hooking a leg over his hip so he couldn’t wriggle away, silencing any objections from his lover with a quick kiss and a quiet “I’ll wake up on time…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MFA: lmao if you think this won't include kagune sex at some point then you do not know me very well  
> or thea  
> or the entire tokyo ghoul fandom  
> lmao


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> check out these lil pervs

He was an idiot. An absolute idiot.   
  
Why he didn’t let the blond set an alarm was beyond him.  
  
Haise really hadn't been in the right mindset last night, jumping Hide's bones, losing control, not once, but twice! He’d even BIT Hide! It wasn’t super deep or anything, but that would scar, no doubt!  
  
“Fuck,” He whispered, hopping around on one leg as he tried to pull his pants up as quickly as possible. He hit redial on his phone, cradling it between his head and shoulder, looking over worriedly at Hide's sleeping form as he tried his best to stay quiet.  
  
At least, he hoped Hide was asleep, or else this little lets-get-dressed dance would have been really embarrassing.   
  
_**“Sasaki.** ”_  
  
“Ah-Akira I-”  
  
 _ **“Where are you?”**_  
  
“I’m really sorry, I’ll be there in an hour-”  
  
 _ **“Where are you?”**_  
  
Haise flinched, smiling nervously as he scurried out of the room, making sure to close the door gently behind him.   
  


“I, umm... stayed at a friend's...:”  
  
Silence. Absolute silence was her reply, Haise shoving his feet in to his shoes as he stared worriedly at the wall.  
  
“It won’t happen again!”  
  
He could hear her inhale deeply, the woman letting out a small laugh that caused the hairs on the back of his neck to stand on end.  
  
 _ **“Sasaki, what kind of friend is this?”**_  
  
Haise swallowed thickly, quickly closing the front door to Hide's apartment before practically flying down the steps to his car.  
  
“J-just a friend! I’ll be there soon!”  
  
\- - - - - - - - - -  
  
He thanked the lord that either no one had been home, or if they were they ignored him, his bare feet thumping upstairs two steps at a time. He'd showered, gotten dressed, tamed his wild bed head (even though this one spot on the left side of his head CONTINUED to stick out in a funny way) and ran back out the door as if the devil himself were on his heels.  
  
Now he was standing before Akira, the woman staring at him suspiciously, his fingers fiddling with his pockets nervously as she circled him.  
  
“Y-yes?”   
  
She smiled knowingly, walking away without another word, Haise swallowing as he followed behind her. Her face had seemed kind, but her eyes told a different story. It wasn’t anger... or annoyance… concern maybe?  
  
She looked back at him, motioning for him to get closer, updating him on their current targets whereabouts. Everything seemed to get back to normal after those first few awkward minutes.

  
\- - - - - - - - - -

Haise climbed into his car, staring down at the phone in his hand, pulling up the texts between him and Hide before tapping away.  
  
“Next time smack me away and set the alarm”  
  
Haise clicked send, pulling out of the stall we was parked in before navigating through the parking lot. The Quinxes were probably investigating today so they’d be home a bit late….and in an attempt to keep Saiko off his back he'd make her burger steak...as for the others…  
  
“Shit…” he sighed, brows raising as he cursed. Normally that sort of talk was reserved for when he was angry or-... more... explicit moments. Really he didn’t know how he was going to explain this mornings absence... or if he even had too His kids were smart... they probably knew what was up...

* * *

Hide yawned at the buzz, contemplating getting up. On the one hand, getting out of bed meant food and a shower. On the other hand, it meant getting out of bed.

Hide settled on a compromise and snaked a hand out from under his warm pillows to grab his phone.

He chuckled at the text from Haise. After a moment’s thought, he came up with a suitable reply. “dont 4get, next times at ur place ;)”

After a long silence from Haise’s end, he fired off another text. “kidding. when are u off next??”

Deciding to finally bite the bullet, Hide rose from the bed, stretched, and wow, everything felt sore. Jesus christ. This was obviously the start of something beautiful.

Hide sleepily stumbled into the bathroom shower.

* * *

Haise pulled up to the house, putting the vehicle in park before reaching in to his pocket to grab the phone that had buzzed earlier. He climbed out of the car, glancing at the time before swiping away the home screen, slamming the car door behind him. He made his way to the door, blushing furiously as he read the text, biting his lip as he just imagined the two of them trying to move around on his single bed. Impossible. Damn right it was a joke….

“Funny.” He sent, holding his phone away as he unlocked the door, pushing it open with his hip as he returned to type out another text “I’m free in a week. Way too many reports to get done so i’ll be up late doing them. How does next weekend sound?” -aaand send, his tongue poked out the side of his mouth, kicking the door closed behind him before he kicked his shoes on to the mat by the door.  
  
Haise tossed the phone on to the dining table, taking off his jacket before heading in to the kitchen to wash up and prepare dinner for tonight. 2:52 was the last time he saw blinking on his phone, so if he started cooking now he’d be able to finish everything for 5. It was a long window of time, but he felt a little bad for leaving the kids without breakfast…  
  
He told them there was fresh eggs in the fridge, yet he saw no dishes in the sink, and there was no drying rag out for today.

A loud noise sounded from upstairs.

He jumped, blinking as he stared up at the ceiling, following the thumping sounds as it went along. Finally he was looking at the stairs, blinking as he was met with blur of blue, and a troubled expression.

"Maman!” two arms wrapped around his waist, Haise placing a hand on her head with a smile.  
  
He should have expected Saiko to be home.  
  
“I’m so hungry-!”   
  
“You should have made something! There is sandwich meat in the fridge”  
  
“But I want your cooking,” she muttered, Haise prying the girls arms from around him, “I’m not very good at it.”  
  
“You dont need to cook a sandwich…” The investigator opened the freezer, shooing her gently out of the way, “I’m starting dinner… but should I make you a snack?”  
  
At that she clapped her hands together, smiling with a small ‘yes please’.  
  
The phone buzzed against the wood of the table, Haise glaring at the device as Saiko smiled mischievously to herself.   
  
Why was she always around when he was talking to Hide?  
  
“Don’t you dare-”  
  
But of course... she was already taking a seat, the little black device in hand. Haise swore he never moved faster in his life, snatching the thing out of her hands before she could even swipe the screen.

* * *

Hide left the shower, still yawning, and took a moment to admire his new bruises in the bathroom mirror. _Damn._

Hide had always been a bit of a freak in bed- the words of his last boyfriend, not his- but he had never had someone just completely accept and go along with his kinks and weird sex suggestions. It made a warm fluttery feeling blossom in his stomach to think that not only had he not made fun of Hide, he seemed to _share_ …

Hide quickly toweled off and headed back into the bedroom to check on his phone. He read Haise’s message and frowned. Looks like this was only going to be a weekly thing… Oh, well. After all, there was plenty of technology to make up for that…

“u should text me l8r 2nite. just cuz we cant touch doesnt mean i cant send u pictures ;)”

Hide stretched again, and made a face at the mess last night had made of his bed. Sighing, he stripped off the sheets and flipped over the mattress. That would just have to do for now. Mattresses were expensive, so maybe it was actually for the best they could only see each other once a week…

* * *

Haise turned his back to the blunette, the girl pouting as she laid her arms on the table “You got something to hide, Maman?” She sounded like she knew exactly what he did last night...not just a general idea, but like she had the scoop on every filthy little detail and-

Haise blushed, brows furrowing as he willed those thoughts away. He’d die if Saiko, or any of the other Q’s actually knew about his more... less... controlled self…  
  
Nobody's kids should see them like that!! Or even imagine them doing those sorts of things!  
  
He looked back at her, the girl blinking lazily as she observed her mama, a small frown on her face as she now rested her chin on her arms; waiting patiently for an answer.  
  
Haise avoided her gaze, face burning, his thumb quickly swiping the home screen away. Haise leaned against the counter, Saiko making little bubbly sounds with her lips as he ignored her, the investigator squinting as he read the text, then re-read it.  
  
“ _Hide!_ ” He bit out, eyes practically falling out of his head.  
  
“What about Hide?” Saiko called out, fingers tapping away now.  
  
“N-nothing! Nothing at all!” Haise laughed nervously as the girl narrowed her eyes in suspicion.  
  
-What use are pictures! I don’t need to get riled up here!-   
  
Haise tapped away furiously, no longer reading his texts out as he typed them. The investigator was panicking a bit, a familiar warm tingle spreading out over his abdomen.  
  
-And what kind of pictures are you thinking of sending me?!-  
  
He gulped, tucking the phone under his chin as he moved to pull out a few slabs of meat from the freezer.

* * *

Hide snorted a bit when he got the texts. Haha, funnny joke, pretending not to know-

… Wait a second. This was Haise he was talking about.

Hide swallowed his last spoonful of second lunch (leftovers from the Hot Pot that Haise had insisted on loading him down with), and considered. What would be the best way to showcase all the good points of sexting to someone who was a)easily embarrassed, and b)surprisingly innocent and naive considering what a wild cat he was in the sack.

Something that he could, say, have on his work phone and could accidentally be seen by his kids without getting him into _too_ much trouble.

Smiling, Hide turned on his phone camera, stood up, held it above his head, and angled it so only his chest and some of the marks Haise had left were visible.

He added a winky face to the subject line and hit send.

* * *

Haise set the meat on the counter, but not before taking out a plate to set it on, not exactly wanting to clean up the blood that would most certainly thaw out from the brown paper packages.

The phone vibrated under his chin, making a small ‘ding’ as Hide no doubt replied to him.   
  
The investigator opened the fridge, leaning in to reach back and grab the packet of bean sprouts that for some reason had been pushed to the back of the shelf, grabbing his phone to stare down at the screen as his fingers finally managed to grab the veggies.  
  
Haise froze, standing hunched over his phone, bean sprouts in hand as he practically ogled the man. There he was, his chest and neck exposed, bite marks and hickeys littered everywhere. Haise felt a little bad, they were red and angry looking, some places where he’d obviously sucked too hard not just forming a red speckled mess, but a bruise around it as well.   
  
His body rolled, fluidly coming to stand up straight again, gently closing the door with his knee. He seriously needed to get grip when ravishing Hide…. It was just impractical to leave him all banged up like that…  
  
On the other hand, Haise found a lump growing in his throat, and his mouth had suddenly gone dry.  
  
Fuck that’s hot. He just wanted to licked him all over, kiss him, make him feel better…  
  
-I’m in the kitchen- He clumsily typed out, thumb trembling as his heart skipped a beat -I think i get the point-  
  
He looked back at Saiko, the girls face peaceful, eyes closed as she apparently took a nap.  
  
Haise stared at her for a long moment, listening to her even breathing, turning beet red as an idea came to mind.   
  
_‘You’re so embarrassing!’_ Kaneki chimed in, Haise making quick work of tying up his apron.   
  
He angled the phone just above his head, shyly looking up as he pulled p his camera app, unsure if he really should be doing this. His fingers pulled gently at the bottom of the apron and his black turtle neck, pushing both articles of clothing up to expose his stomach. He flexed, admiring how a hard line ran all the way down, abs bulging slightly. Hopefully Hide would appreciate it just as much…  
  
Haise smiled, because he wasn’t sure what else to do, and took the picture. It looked a little awkward, and he seriously disliked the hot flush on his face, but he sent it anyway.  
  
-I hope I’m doing it right-  
  
Saiko stirred behind him, mumbling as he quickly released his apron and shirt. What a disaster that would have been if she’d seen him…

* * *

Hide finished washing the dishes in the sink and was just about to put them away when his phone buzzed. Wiping a hand on his pants and reached into his pocket to see-

Hooo, boy. Hide’s eyes lingered on the hard muscles of his stomach, remembering how he’d looked last night, on his back and staring as Hide deepthroated his twitching cock…

Instinctively Hide dropped a hand down to adjust his suddenly tightening underwear.

Hmm, what to send next… his eyes fell on a banana he had brought home from work the other day.

After quickly rinsing it off, Hide readied his phone and took a picture of himself licking the banana.

“ur pic reminds me of sumthing”

* * *

Haise left the phone to buzz on the counter, spraying down a baking sheet before he started prep.

It took him a good twenty minutes to season the and lay out the steak before sticking in in the oven, humming quietly as he set it to broil. He rinsed his hands, looking over to the blue haired girl with a smile. He’d set to work on her snack... but not before he took a look at whatever Hide had sent him.  
  
Haise nearly dropped his phone, wide eyes staring down at the picture of Hide licking a banana, the little caption attached making his lower half come to life.  
  
Really, this wasn't the time. He was cooking! Saiko wasn’t even five feet away!  
  
He’d just done something with Hide last night, wasn’t that enough?   
  
-Oh my god Hide-  
  
He sent his text with a sigh, glancing to the side as he slipped his hand under his shirt once more, toes curling his socks as she shifted from one foot to the other. He wasn’t sure what soft of picture he could send Hide in return. It couldn’t be too obscene, because if he was caught... that would be bad… that and almost everything in a kitchen that looked remotely phallic would make him gag in disgust if it touched his tongue…. and there was no way he was sending pictures of ‘sexy ladel licking’  
  
Big fat NO on that…  
  
-You have a lot of self control- his eyes narrowed after pressing send, Hasie continuing with a dark look -If I could put something like that near my mouth, I don't think i could resist taking a bite-  
  
 _‘Haise...’_  
  
“I’m teasing him” he waved his hand dismissively, biting the inside of his cheek as something deep inside told him that maybe he wasn’t.   
  
A part of him that he blatantly ignored.  
  
“Teasing who?” Saiko asked sleepily, Haise tearing his gaze from the screen to smile over at the girl.  
  
“Nothing! Do you still want that snack?”  
  
“Please-” she yawned, closing her eyes once more, shoulders settling as she obviously started to drift back to sleep.

* * *

Hide snorted at the reply to his picture. He quickly replied “thats not what u said last nite” and looked around his kitchen. Sexy though it may be, he really didn’t want to deepthroat a banana. And there wasn’t really anything else phallic in his kitchen…

Hmm, he could take a more explicit picture, but if he really was doing something in the kitchen (and probably with the quinx around) it might be a bit risky sending more pictures. Texts would have to do.

“do u know what i would be doing if you were here right now?? i would have you sit at my kitchen table while i got on my knees for you. i would kiss and nip up your legs till i got to your crotch. i would use my teeth to pull down your zipper and the i would just mouth at your underwear. i would lick at the tip of your fat cock and show you how good you taste”

Hide sat down at the very kitchen chair he spoke of and reached down to readjust again. He closed his eyes for a moment and just imagined, remembering the texture of Haise’s dick, the taste of his precum…

* * *

Haise was working on getting the rice into the rice cooker, clicking the little button before hurriedly moving back to the fridge in order to get out some more veggies. Carrots, broccoli, celery….

With a thoughtful look he pulled out the sandwich meat and some cheese, smiling to himself before setting to work on getting the vegetables chopped and thrown into a pan. He’d add a few onions and mushrooms after most of it was cooked, so for now haise sliced the cheese in to cubes and rolled the meat slices up in to little rolls before setting the snack plate gently by Saiko's head.  
  
His phone buzzed again, Haise pulling it out before reading it over. He gasped, breathing out through his nose a little heavier than before “Shit…”  
  
How was he suppose to respond to that. Was Haise in turn required to send something equally as filthy and descriptive. He was fairly good at reports, so he didn’t doubt his writing skills, but this wasn’t something he normally….  
  
 _‘Just listen to what I say...’_ Kaneki whispered, Haise feeling uneasy at the others needy tone.  
  
-I would take your face in my hands and run my fingers through your hair. Slowly I would ease you down on my dick, whispering how good it felt to have you lick and suck on me, begging you to swallow me as I…-  
  
“No way am i writing that!” Haise whispered, glaring down at the screen.  
  
 _‘Just do it...’_  
  
-...as I suddenly thrust myself in to the back of your throat. I’d pull back only to let you breath, petting your head as i bring up your earlier mention of face fucking-  
  
“And you were getting mad at me for thinking about this sort of thing…”  
  
 _‘I wasn’t mad.’_  
  
“You thought i was going to hurt him”  
  
 _‘...Now we know he likes it, so no harm done right?’_  
  
“I guess…” Haise shifted uncomfortably, pushing himself against the counter with a soft groan, clicking the send button as he practically choked on the butterflies coming up his throat.

* * *

Hide groaned at Haise’s response.

 _Who knew he could sext like_ that.

Hide lowered a hand to fondle at the crotch of his sweatpants. Mmmm, wouldn’t that be nice, to have fulfil his promise and facefuck him…

“id pull off u and tell u to use me like im ur toy. id let you fuck my mouth anyday. ud be gentle at first, and slow cuz u dont wanna hurt me”

Hide paused to squeeze his newly awakened cock through his pants again.

“but soon ud be fucking my throat like a pro. ud make me choke on ur dick and swallow ur cum and leave me begging 4 more”

With a soft groan, Hide stood up and stripped himself of his pants, leaving him clad only in his boxers.

“and then id reach around behind me and start to finger myself 4 u. ud like that wouldnt u? watching me fuck myself on my fingers just 4 u”

Hide sat back down at the table, fondling at his hardening cock as he waited for the reply.

* * *

Both Haise and Kaneki gasped in unison, Haise alleviating some of the pressure in his pants by rolling his hips against the counter. He can’t help imagine it, Hides face, his desperate voice…

  
 _‘Not in the kitchen!’_  
  
Haise held his breath, looking back to see Saiko peacefully sleeping, blissfully unaware that her mentor was five feet away with a raging boner, sexting his new found boyfriend…  
  
Boyfriend? Was Hide his boyfriend?  
  
 _‘He better be.’_  
  
Haise quickly turned down the heat to the pan, leaving it at ‘min’ before awkwardly walking towards the stairs. With each step he winced, phone clutched in his grasp, cheeks flushed as Kaneki relayed a reply for him to send Hide.  
  
“You’re worse than me”  
  
 _‘I’ve seen what you think about. I’m not’_  
  
“Touche’” He smirked a little, shoving the bathroom door open before closing and locking the door. Haise turned on the shower, closing the curtain to let it run before taking a seat on the bathroom mat. His back pressed against the tub, one hand holding the phone up as he texted Hide back, the other roughly undoing the clasp of his pants before shoving itself down his underwear.  
  
-I would praise you every second my dick is buried in your throat, telling you how good it feels before cumming. I’d shiver as you suck it out of me, swallowing it...-  
  
Haise checked in, Kaneki repeating himself with a bit of a nervous stutter, the instructor chuckling at the others not so stoic attitude.  
  
 _‘Shut up and tell him how I’d...we’d fuck him’_  
  
“Yes sir,” Haise sighed, gripping the base of his shaft before slowly stroking himself.  
  
-...my hand holding your face close as i coax you to lick me clean. Because it’s not enough, i could never get enough of you Hide, I’d have you on the floor in seconds. I love the sight of you finger fucking yourself, but can’t stand that it’s not me...so i’d push you back, climbing down from the table, kissing you. I would remove your hands as i lay you down, biting and sucking down your body, immediately replacing your fingers with my own…-  
  
Haise pressed send, gasping as he ran his thumb over his head, smearing the precum that was gathering there. He hoped that he’d be able to keep up the intelligible texts, because already he was shaking with need.

* * *

Hide moaned again at Haise’s reply, his hips automatically canting up at the mental image his mind helpfully provided.

Hide could just picture himself face down on the floor, mewling with need..

“id go on hands and knees 4 u. id arch my back and present my tight little ass 4 u 2 fuck any way u want. id bet youd be so hot from watching me that youd shove two finger in me without any warning. and id cry out but its good and i love the pain and u know it.”

Hide gulped and pressed his hand into his underwear, slowly squeezing and pumping himself.

“i bet ud shove ur hand deep inside me. as far as it can go. ud find that spot that makes me squirm and ud ram it with ur fingers until im screaming for u to fuck me”

Hide moaned softly to himself, the fantasy arousing him to painful hardness. He pumped faster, occasionally flicking his thumb up to swipe at the pre beading at the tip.

“r u hard 4 me yet? i need u to fuck me right now. fuck my ass with ur huge cock, please. make me yours”

* * *

Haise clenched his fist on his dick, head rolling back as he pumps himself, a strangled moan escaping him as he pictured exactly what Hide had depicted for him. He’d push his fingers in, wiggling them, digging deeper as he stretched and searched for something more…

-I’d do everything to you and more. You would whine and beg for me to fuck you, and Hide, there’s no way we could deny you…-  
  
 _‘Be a little...gentler with yourself,'_    
  
Haise shuddered, eyes narrowing as long arms wound around from behind him, the investigator leaning back into that embrace from deep within their dark little abyss. He stared down at those pale hands, the bathroom blurring as he focused on his innermost thoughts, imagination starting to blur with reality.  
  
“What are you...doing?” His brows furrowed, the visions of black painted finger nails lightly tracing his dick causing the heat in his groin to fade, panic beginning to swell inside him.  
  
 _‘Relax...’_  
  
Haise was engrossed, his physical self collapsing against the tub, hips slowly rolling in in to his firm grip. He moved the phone to hold it over his head, thumb moving robotically as Kaneki whispered in his ear, Haise's hand beginning to copy exactly what the white haired man was doing to him from the inside out…  
  
Where was that child…  
  
“We’d take your hips and slowly push in, filling you up till you just can’t stand it, leisurely grinding against your prostate. We’d snake our arm around to your front, milking you in time with those shallow thrusts. We’d ask you if you liked it...even though we’re sure you do”  
  
Haise read in sync with Kaneki, panting softly as his thumb followed along with what they said.  
  
-Fuck Hide... I want inside you…-

* * *

Hide squeezed himself roughly as his phone buzzed again. “ _Fuck_ ,” he whispered, blinking hard to see the message through his lustful gaze. _Fuck_. Haise was… way better at this then Hide had expected. Honestly he’d just been planning on lazily jacking it while reading Hide’s increasingly flustered messages, but now the tables were even, if not turned.

He hunched over to type his reply as best he could with one hand, practically strangling his dick with a tight grip as his hand was forced to still so he could concentrate.

“fuck me. god fuck me with ur cock. make me scream. make me work for it. make me ur slut.”

Hide gasped into a pant as he began thrusting his hips up into his stranglehold grip.

“bite me scratch me fuck me make me urs fucjk im ur fucktoyt”

The blond whimpered his grip loosened enough to continue furiously jacking off. Fuck, he was so close. He desperately wanted Haise to be there, ramming him into the mattress and milking his cock. “Fuck me,” he chanted aloud, only half-aware he was speaking. “fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me,”

* * *

Haise stared at Hide's text, gasping softly as he continued to roughly jerk himself, fist swiveling with each pump. A smile that didn’t belong to him spread over his lips, eyes stinging as the pleasure began to overwhelm him, a dark laugh echoing in his head.

 _‘He’s a little...filthier than I remember.'_  
  
The investigator shuddered, vision blurring momentarily, blinking as he willed away the feeling of Kaneki's tongue in his ear…  
  
It was all in his imagination…  
  
‘I’m just trying to help...’ Kaneki's voice was low, breathy as he panted along with him, Haise's thumb moving once more as the white haired man told him what to type out.  
  
-We’d lean over and rake our teeth over your back, biting you, licking you, _tasting_ you...and we’d fuck your tight ass hard and fast, just like you asked. We’d pump your leaking cock, and pound you so hard till you just can’t hold on...We’d milk you then lick our hand clean, and fill you up with cum…... listening to you scream from pleasure is just too much for us…-  
  
Haise clenched his teeth, swallowing a moan as hot waves of euphoria washed over him, his thumb just barely being able to send the text. Writing that whole thing had been a task, and Haise was thankful for auto correct or else that text might have looked like a complete disaster.  
  
“F-fuck…” His voice rose a pitch, Kaneki's grip influencing his, the investigator tightening his hold cum shot up and over his stomach, a few drops just managing to hit his chin. The white haired man rested his head on Haise's shoulder, sighing deeply as Haise rested his head back against the tub, body having slipped down a bit to lay awkwardly across the floor.  
  
 _‘Send him a picture.’_  
  
Haise wordlessly obeyed, still trying to catch his breath as he held the phone at a similar angle to how he had before, slightly surprised to be staring up at the display with a blazing kakugan.  
  
 _‘He’ll like that.’_  
  
Kaneki encouraged him, holding him close, hands moving to run up his chest.  
  
He took the picture, his apron and shirt pulled up to expose his lower stomach and cock, both articles of clothing ruined by the few globs of semen running down his front. And Kaneki called him embarrassing... look what he was making him send to Hide…  
  
 _Making_ him?  
  
Yes, making him.

Haise held his breath, brows furrowing as he found that he had no control over his thumb as it hit send.

* * *

Hide hunched over in his chair, panting as he jerked himself off harder than he ever had before.

 _Fuck,_ this was hot.

He didn’t even hear the buzz of his phone, only glancing at it in the vibration.

_Fuck, I don’t know how much more of this I can take._

Hide mouthed the words of the text to himself, imagining Haise-and Kaneki, if he were being completely honest- saying them, doing them…

A lot more pre beaded up at his tip, but this time Hide didn’t bother to do anything with it. He was in the homestretch now, his orgasm quickly building.

Hide hadn’t thought he would be getting a text after that one, so it is with surprise he glanced down at his phone to see a picture loading.

 **  
**Hide squeezed the base of his dick tightly, trying to stop himself from coming in time to see the picture. **  
**

Even if it was just the jacking off version of a butt text, Hide wanted to be thinking of Haise when he came.

Hide closed his eyes, counting slowly down from 5 to try and calm down. When he opened them, the picture had loaded.

And he came harder than he ever had before onto the kitchen floor. Hide spent a few minutes just basking in the warmth and pulsing pleasure.

Lazily he opened his eyes, taking in the picture of a completely fucking wrecked Haise. He couldn’t help but remember the first picture with a low chuckle. Smiling, he saved the picture as his wallpaper, swiped at the cum leaking from his dick, readied the phone camera, and snapped a photo of himself staring into the camera through lidded eyes while licking the cum off his finger. Luckily he managed to hold in his wince at the taste until after the photo had been taken.

He did not understand how Haise could possibly like that. Hide really needed to add some more vegetables to his diet.

 **  
**“Man,” Hide muttered to himself as he went about getting the supplies to clean up, “I wonder if he knows how to videochat…”

* * *

Haise laid there as he tried to catch his breath, lazily looking down at his phone with that troubled expression from before, groaning low in his throat as Hide picture popped up in the texts under his. He found himself saving it almost immediately, Kaneki's soft laugh echoing his own as he now smiled nervously down at his dirtied clothing.   
  
Hides picture would have gotten him going again if it weren't for him remembering that he had responsibilities to be taking care of.  
  
But that image... Hide licking up the mess he made... Haise shuddered as he thought that he’d like Hide to clean him up too…  
  
 _‘You have food on the stove,’_  
  
Haise froze, quickly stripping himself before literally climbing in to the cold spray of the shower. **  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MFA: what do i even tag that last bit as. KaneHaisecest? Imaginary selfcest?   
> Whatever it was, it was _hot_ amirite?? Kudos, Thea. Kudos.


	10. Chapter 10

He took a quick ten minute rinse and scurried to his room, throwing on some loose calve-length track pants and a white 'V' neck shirt. Kaneki had gone quiet, Haise not particularly happy with him, and if he was going to be completely honest, also a little scared.  
  
On his way back down the stairs, Haise pulled out his phone once more and rubbed it on his shirt, thinking that maybe it would be a good idea to windex that shit or something.  
  
-That was different…- Haise's gaze shifted to the girl who seemed to be still sleeping, only her snacks had all vanished -I didn’t think i’d be able to actually type after a while…- He bit the inside of his lip, looking over their _interaction_ with a flutter in his stomach….  
  
“We…” he whispered to himself, reading how his actions started to include Kaneki after a bit. Hopefully Hide overlooked that…

* * *

A few hours of cleaning and sorting through his old things later, Hide found his laptop.

Huffing at the slow boot up, Hide sent a quick text (one of several he’d sent since their *cough* prior exchange) to Haise.

“hey do u have a laptop or computer in your room??”

After a moment’s thought (and no quick response), he added:

“im going 2 bed soon and i gotta work late tomorrow so message me so set aside some time on the day after next. iv got a neat thing to show you ;) chuu~~”

With that, Hide set his alarm, turned his alerts off, and went to sleep, leaving the laptop to whir to life in peace.

* * *

Haise had finished making dinner, serving all his kids, Urie included for once. They all sat in silence, Shirazu finally breaking the tension after Haise's phone buzzed.

“Is that your boyfriend?” He laughed, teasing his mentor as he shoved another piece of steak in his mouth.   
  
Haise couldn’t fight the red tinge on his cheeks, aggressively shoving the device in the pocket of his sweat pants, not daring open his texts. He knew the picture would show up…  
  
It vibrated again, Haise looking to Saiko as he grinned from ear to ear.  
  
Really it was a very awkward dinner...but everyone seemed to be high spirits...and no one really questioned the senior investigator all too much…  
  
\- - - - - -  - - - - - - -   
  
Haise sat in the driver's seat, Saiko beside him in the passenger's, the bluenette completely conked out. They’d been parked for about five minutes now, Shirazu reaching over to shake the girl awake with no avail.   
  
“I’ll just carry her in…” The blond sighed before clambering out of the vehicle, the door already open from when Urie had almost immediately fled the scene.  
  
Haise laughed, exiting the car himself, pulling his phone out to quickly check the time.  
  
“Oh…” He blinked, completely having forgotten that hide texted him last night. Haise was so tired he just passed out an hour into his reports.  
  
-I do have a laptop...- he sent quickly, following after his kids, taking long strides until he finally caught up. Haise peeked inside the dark bag that hung on his hip, blinking as he wondered just what he’d need it for exactly   -Show me what?-

Hide didn’t check his phone until around noon, already feeling the weight of exhaustion at the thought of his long night ahead. Man, he hated closing… Luckily, the sight of a new text immediately lifted his spirits.

“oh ive got a fun game 4 us 2 play on a thing called skype :3” he texted, grinning to himself. Oh man, he could not wait for tomorrow night. It made the week of waiting seem to fly by.

“the game is called we set up a video call and u tell me where 2 touch myself and ill do it ;)”

The door to the break room opened and an unpleasantly nasally voice rang out. “You know, _neck scarves_ aren’t a part of our uniform.”

“Oh, really,?” Hide replied absently, typing up his next text. “I had no idea. I think I’ll be wearing them a lot in the future.”

“What? what does that even mean?”

“and maybe if ur good the 2nd time we play ill be the one telling u what to do ;3”

* * *

When his phone buzzed in the middle of a meeting, Haise simply smiled, apologized sheepishly as few heads turned his way. Everyone seemed to be surprised that he of all people was interrupting their discussion with a rogue text, Akira more than anyone.

“Please continue…” Haise encouraged them to pick up from where they left off, motioning with his hand.  
  
\- - - - - - - -

After the meeting he checked his phone, eyes widening as a blush crossed over his face. Akira neared his side, the investigator quickly shoving his little black device away, hiding his sin from the blonde's prying eyes.  
  
“Sasaki…”  
  
“Ah… Yes?”  
  
“Do you have a girlfriend?”  
  
He choked, coughing as he thought that maybe he should have expected Akira to be so forward. Still she could have been a little less... bored looking.  
  
“I.... I wouldn’t say that.”  
  
She stared, her bland expression unwavering as Haise scratched his cheek.  
  
“Do I get to meet them?”  
  
The investigator was seriously going to die here, raising his hands up in an almost defensive manner. “N-no, they’re not important, I swear.”  
  
With a slightly annoyed look she left it at that, muttering a quiet, ‘Lets go,’ before turning on her heel and leading him away to other business.  
  
\- - - - - - - - -  
  
Haise didn’t dare touch his phone till later that night. Urie sat at the table writing a report, and the others were more than likely sleeping. Hide's text was sent to him around lunch time... and it was about eleven now... the poor guy's job didn’t sound too exciting…  
  
-That sounds... promising…- Haise bit the inside of his cheek, blush carrying down his neck -Though i have no idea what skype is. So I guess you’ll have to teach me how to play? Get some rest…- He couldn’t help but feel that he was misunderstanding the point of the program he was suppose to download... Maybe Saiko could show him how to use it tomorrow... she was good at games…-no wait-Hide said it was about touching yourself. Thought trashed…  
  
“Urie…” Haise called to him from the couch “Do you... have ‘skype’?” Haise swallowed a lump in his throat. The mentor was hoping that maybe if he did have it, he’d understand why Haise was asking about it because he was also male… It was better than asking Saiko.  
  
“Yeah. Use it all the time.” He held up his iPod before practically slamming it back down. “(you keep gasping to yourself over there, it’s distracting).” He was muttering again.  
  
“Is it... hard to play?”  
“Play?” Urie frowned, erasing something before glaring at him. “Just ask Saiko (You don’t play skype).”  
  
Haise froze. His not so innocent little girl that he kept trying to convince himself was innocent.... no…  
  
“S-she has it too?” he smiled nervously, gut fluttering in a queasy sort of way.  
  
“We all do. Shut up”  
  
Haise felt like he was going to faint.

* * *

Hide woke up earlier than usual. Yesterday morning he’d messed with his laptop, updating everything and checking to make sure its camera, speakers, and mic still worked fine (they were both a little old and muffled, but otherwise good condition), and he was happy to see they were still fine this morning.

Pulling out his phone as he sat down to eat breakfast (cereal, milk, and  a cheese stick- breakfast of champions), Hide quickly tapped at the keys to open the new messages.

 Chuckling, he quickly tapped out a reply.

“skype is kinda like the computer version of texting. but if u click video call u can also hear and see the other person so long as ur computer’s microphone and camera work”

 “just ask saiko to set it up 4 u. oh hey and tell her to add me hide-is-not-yoshi69”

 Hide tapped his chin thoughtfully.

 “talk 2 u l8r. <3 chuu~” And began dressing for work.

* * *

Saiko leaned over his shoulder, the both of them ignoring his phone as it buzzed on his desk, Haise too engrossed in learning something other than spreadsheets and excel documents. Saiko helped him download Skype, explaining to him how to use this simple chat program, the girl proudly adding herself to his friends list. She’d been dead asleep about half an hour ago, but when Haise knocked on her door asking about skype, she was at his side in seconds. 

The first thing that left her mouth was “It’s for Hide?”   
  
Haise nodded, and she immediately agreed to help him download and install it. Now they were both in his office, Shirazu sleeping wandering in to stare down at the two of them fiddling over getting a few more programs installed. Saiko was absolutely appalled at the lack of virus protection that thing had.  
  
“What are you two doing…”  
  
Saiko ignored him, Haise instead swivelling in his chair to smile at his appointed squad leader “We’re getting skype installed... and... a few other things…”  
  
“Huh….Add me too his contacts.” Shirazo picked at his ear, leaving without another word.  
  
Haise nodded, taking his phone as the blunette shooed him out of the way, the instructor peering down at the text with a nervous chuckle.  
  
-Yeah Saiko is helping me. I’ll be writing up reports all day today so I’ll be here whenever you get home. P.S. What does ‘chuu’ mean?-  
  
“Ah ha!” Saiko stood up, arms over her head “Tada!” he motioned to the screen.  
  
“Thank you” He leaned over to inspect his desktop, staring at the few new icons, “I’ll send you Hide's contact information. He would like you to add him.”  
  
“Really?” Saiko put her hands to her cheeks, quickly running out of the room. “I’ll add him now! Maman send me his contact!” She yelled back at him before Haise heard her bedroom door slam shut.

* * *

Hide tapped out his reply as his lunch (another microwaveable meal, Haise would be so ashamed) cooked.

“it means im giving u a kiss. chuu chuu chuu~ now you try it. oh and <3 is a heart“

“Why are you smiling at your phone?” asked the new part-timer (Hide can not recall his name for the life of him. Takao…? Seizawa….? oh well…)

“No reason. Hey, you want more hours, right? Well if you’re willing to work evenings, you can have all my 17 to closing shifts…”

 Perfect. Now, to find some miracle that would make all the kiddie q’s busy and clear Haise’s work schedule and he might be able to stay the night at some point…

 The microwave beeped and Hide got up to eat.

* * *

“Hmm.” Haise tapped his lip with a pen, staring down at his report, the suspect's very limited information sheet located just to the side. He was so focused that when his phone vibrated he jumped in his seat. 

The investigator peered down at the text, smiling as he replied -Chuu! There, happy? I knew <3 was a heart, i’m not completely stupid. Saiko showed me a few cute emotes too. 8=D !!-  
  
He hit send, yawning as he stretched out and began writing up his report again. God this ghoul was ridiculous...just in the way they did things, it was insane. The lengths they went to the string organs from one side of the room to the next…

* * *

Hide checked his phone just before he left to go back to work and nearly stumbled into the door. Oh lord, have mercy. Saiko, why would you torture him like this…

 Before he could second guess himself, Hide texted back, “more like 8===D~~ give urself some credit ;3”

 And shut off his phone and headed back to his lane.

 --

At 5:10 pm, Hide gathered up his belongings, snagged a dinner a of instant ramen (old habits died hard), and headed home.

He figured he should probably give Haise an hour or two to finish his reports, and then the fun could begin.

Man, Hide hoped Haise remembered to clear his schedule for tonight…

 

 At home, Hide started his laundry, and began preparing his food.

“I should buy something nice,” He said aloud, throwing his boxers into the machine. “Something nice. With lace…” He would have to ask Haise about that. If that was something he was into, then… Haise would also look very nice in a fancy lace underoos…

Abruptly Hide remembered that he’d shut off his phone after his lunch break, and his last fifteen he’d been so tired he hadn’t turned it back on.

Hurriedly he held down the power button, and went to go check his skype messages while it turned on.

He had three new friend requests- one from Haise, one from Saiko, and one he did not recognize but might be from Shirazu??

He smiled at his darling bf’s message (he hadn’t changed it from the default one) and sent a quick reply to Saiko’s-

 

bluegamerfreak: sup dad number 2

hide-is-not-yoshi69: sup boss ass bitch daughter

bgf: omfg

hide: ;)

 

-before opening up Haise’s chat.

 

hide-is-not-yoshi: hey sexy ;)

 

* * *

Haise scribbled down some notes on a side pad, only returning to his actual report when he had a good point to be made. It was tiring as all else to keep this up, and he had a good number of days before he’d even be close to finishing. Not to mention he’d have to sort all the files in to their correct folders and- *bloop*

  
Haise blinked, looking over to his laptop to see he’d gotten a message. He reached over to pull up the window, smiling with a small laugh as he read Hides message.

  
  
HaiSayWhat: You took the words right out of my mouth Hide.

  
  
His attention wasn’t so much on the paper in front of him so much as it was on the computer screen now.

  
  
HSW: How was work?

* * *

 

hide: not bad

hide: i mean coulda been worse

hide: did i ever tell u about the manager’s cousin? i think she likes me?

HaiSayWhat: Um, no…?

hide: well she does

hide: and uh she totally called me on my hickeys today

hide: so yeah thats awkward as hell

hide: love ur username btw <3

hide: but that’s not why i got on here. r u busy right now???

hide: becuz id really like to see u ;)

* * *

Haise blushed, quickly typing in that he was sorry for not-so-little red blotches of passion… though he didn’t really feel sorry that he did them so much as he was sorry it inconvenienced Hide. However, that girl would have seen the hickeys, which would mean she now knew the blond was taken. She hopefully understood that hide was his.

 _‘Ours’_  
  
Haise clicked his tongue, feeling the intense burn of his inner ghouls stare.  
  
“Of course…” he took a look at his paper, biting his lip as he decided what to do next. He was busy...he would probably be busy till the wee hours of the morning, but putting aside his better judgement Haise found himself sliding the stack of reports away from himself.  
  
In the next second he had the computer in front of him.

  
Haise: I’m not really busy…

  
  
He paused.

  
  
Haise: I’d like to see you too....  
  


* * *

 

Hide smiled at the message that Haise was sorry. The look on her face had been pretty damn priceless. Served her right for pulling off his scarf, Hide had tried to warn her… And then he could just see her putting the pieces together, remembering the investigator that had come to pick him up...

Hide shook his head to clear his thoughts, still smiling. He refocused on the skype conversation and felt his pulse begin to race. _Haise wants to see me._

Granted, he probably had no idea what Hide meant by that, but _oh_ , did Hide so want to teach him…

Hide glanced around the room, making sure it was at least mostly clean. No tissues or dirty clothes were in sight, so Hide quickly re-positioned the laptop in front of him, sat down into a cross-legged position, and hit “Video Cal”.

* * *

Haise was a bit surprised to find that the computer started ringing at him. It wasn’t particularly loud, but it did make him jump. He grabbed his mouse, quickly pressing accept, blinking as he stared face to face with hide.

  
“Uhh...Hi…” He smiled shyly, quickly reaching up to fix his crooked T-shirt, trying his best to make himself look a bit more presentable after seeing himself in his own small camera feed in the corner. “Give me a moment!” He held up a finger, quickly getting up to go and close the door to his office, fingers hooking in to the hem of his track pants so that Hide wouldn’t have to see his ass crack.  
  
 _‘He’d like too, i’m sure...’_  
  
He was back in his seat in a matter of seconds, leaning close to the screen as he grinned at the blond. “Hey.”

* * *

Hide tried not to giggle as Haise preened and sprinted off to what Hide could only assume was the bathroom.

He took the moment alone to run a hand through his hair artfully, and smiled as Haise returned.

“Hi,” Hide pushed the laptop forward a bit and then plopped down in front of it. “so, how has your week been so far? Mine’s been pretty hard and long. But I’ll take it like a man. And after I blow through this load, I’ll get to kiss your pretty little head again.”

 Hide’s grin turned salacious, his eyes half-lidded, and his voice dropped an octave. “And by the way, what did you think of my little game?”

* * *

Haise wasn’t the best at sexual innuendos, in fact he was pretty sure he was terrible at both understanding and making them, but he couldn’t help but feel that most of what Hide was saying was somehow... dirty…

  
With a coy smile he scratched his cheek, Looking away as Hide adjusted the camera. “I really don’t see how Skype is a game…”  
  
 _‘He’s trying to get at something else.’_  
  
Haise sighed “I know that…” He breathed, quickly catching himself by speaking up now, the investigator hoping that Hide hadn’t heard him talking to himself. “Unless... there’s a game on Skype... you’d like to play…” He was never really one for games…  
  
Once he played a board game! That was fun! But anything else he just didn't really understand.  
  
Getting at something else huh? Haise found himself smirking, hand coming up to touch his upturned lips as he stared back at Hide's suggestive expression.   
Trying to get at something….and that something was in his pants no doubt.  
  
Kaneki was silent at first, Haises eyes crinkling at the corners once an exasperated sigh finally came from the white-haired boy. Hide was starting to rub off on him…  
  
 _‘No, that’s all you Haise...’ ~~~~_

* * *

“Well, I guess you could say it’s a game,” Hide purred not bothering to hide the way he stared at Haise’s fingers… touching his lips… “A little bit of… role play, if you will.”

  
Hide moved again, rising up to slowly strip of his shirt, before lying on his back and staring down at the camera through his splayed legs. He ghosted a hand up to one of the bruises littering his neck and whispered, “You were so good at it last time… So tell me, what should I do for you…"

* * *

Haise watched with hungry eyes, eating up every little movement Hide made. He held in a gasp when the other moved to take off his shirt, revealing the red kiss marks blossoming over his skin, Haise getting this strange feeling of pride as he thought about that girl from Hide's job getting a good look at his handy work.

 Haise only wished he was there so he could make more...taste him...maybe take one of those nipples and make it's colour even darker with a hickey...

 He wanted to reach out and touch the blond, only Haise knew he'd be disappointed to find his fingers pressing against a glass screen. Shit...he really wanted to... to...

 He was losing his train of thought, a lump forming in his throat as Hide laid down in front of the laptop, legs wide open; putting Haise in a front row seat to Hide's crotch. If the investigator ever wanted to tear something up, it would be those pants...

 "What?!" He breathed, voice cracking, much to his embarrassment. Haise looked to the office door with a fleeting glance, quickly repositioning the laptop before reaching for headphones Saiko had lent him. He didn't speak again until they were in, voice hushed, but confident now as he made his first "request".

 

 "Take off those pants...and suck your fingers. Do it slowly..."

 

' _You're actually doing this...Haise I'm shocked.'_

 He could practically hear the smirk in Kaneki's tone.

* * *

Hide let out a soft noise as Haise raked him with his eyes, just barely stifling it from turning into an unsexy snort as Haise ran off to get some head phones, which-

oh, that was actually a good idea. Now Hide could be as loud as he wanted without fear of the Q’s overhearing something.

Although that thought made him feel a little sad, that Haise would have to stifle his moans…

Hide snapped out of that thought at his lover’s first command, eyes widening. Oh, so apparently his meaning had come off just fine… _Good._

 

Hide slowly unzipped his jeans, trying to be as sensual as possible as he slipped them off, giving Haise a front seat view of his boxers and the growing tent inside them.

 Hide made another soft sound as he closed his eyes and began sucking on his fingers. Pretending it was Haise’s fingers, Hide sensually licked up two of them before bobbing his head up and down.

 Opening his eyes, Hide grinned, took out his fingers, and slowly began bobbing his head down on three of them, making obvious sucking noises, demonstrating his lack of a gag reflex once again.

* * *

Haise had to bite his lip to stop a moan from escaping him, swallowing thickly as Hide now inserted three fingers into his mouth. Haise imagined it was him, and he prayed to god Hide was picturing doing this to him as well, because it was just that much more arousing.

 That smile, oh god...that smile.

 He knew Hide was trying to get Haise to envision a rather hard part of his anatomy deliciously sinking deep in to the back of his throat. There was no way he couldn't imagine it, and the instructor was relieved to be wearing track pants for the sake of his raging boner right now... it wouldn't be a comfortable situation if he had been wearing dress pants...

 "Ah...mmh-shit" Haise gasped, his fingers loosely wrapping around his cock, vision going a bit bleary from the pleasure.

 Maybe Hide was thinking about sucking Haise's fingers... and actually, that was the investigator's intention, before a more primitive part of him immediately told him to imagine his dick shoving itself between those beautiful... delicious lips.

 He was so... so... what was the word. He'd heard it somewhere before, Shirazu used it...

  _'Horny?'_ Kaneki supplied dryly.

 That was it! That was the word! Haise was almost disgusted with himself by how much he wanted to fuck Hide on every surface he could think of... they'd just sexted the other day, and before that they were all over each other! What was wrong with him... Hide was either really hot, and Haise was 110% sure he was, or he was just a savage animal with no morals...

  _'Give yourself a break...I wasn't the most...sexually active person...'_ Kaneki sounded a bit embarrassed, Haise making direct eye contact with Hide as he laughed a bit.

 "So you're saying I'm pent up?" He whispered, his mic just barely picking up what he was saying.

_'Wouldnt doubt it...I at least masturbated, you don't do anything with your body.'_

 "That's too personal..." Haise breathed, wincing as he clenched himself a little too tight.

  _'Stop talking to yourself'_

 Haise shut his mouth, sucking in a long breath before he let out a shuddering sigh. "Touch yourself... with those fingers... spread your spit everywhere."

* * *

Hide slowly drew the fingers from his mouth. “Are you talking to Kaneki?” Hide whispered, noticing the investigator seemed a bit… distracted. And he may or may not have totally just seen him mouthing something to himself, as well as the faintest whisper of audio. Hide may not have had a ghoul’s hearing, but he wasn’t stupid.

 “Is he… Can he see this?” At the investigator's instant look of guilt, Hide chuckled. Haise was just as easy to read as Kaneki had been most of the time.

 “Well then… tell him to enjoy the show…” Hide used his dry hand to pull his boxers teasingly low, so that the reddened head of his cock just barely peaked out. Achingly slowly, Hide used a single finger to wet the head with a mixture of spit and precum.

 Groaning slightly, Hide dragged his boxers lower to let his cock bounce free, and wrapped his wet fingers around his shaft. Making eye contact with the investigator’s… hungry stare, Hide slowly pumped himself and purred, “Are you going to be picturing this later? When you… touch yourself?”

 Hide inhaled sharply at the thought, unconsciously beginning to move faster. “I thought about you, about your cock, this morning when I, _hah_ , felt so good-”

* * *

Haise stayed silent, Kaneki also not saying anything, his presence withering away and coiling back into the depths of his mind. He was still there, Haise knew it, he was always watching... but the white-haired man made no sound... not even a peep as Haise took a moment to internally check in with him. 

His hand slowed to stop, Haise licking his lips as Hide asked if he would be picturing this later, Haise blushing at the mere thought of just closing his eyes… snaking his hand down his pants… letting his fingers curl around his growing cock as he gasped Hide's name-  
  
He… Hide did _that_ this morning?  
  
 _‘Shit...’_ Kaneki gasped, Haise's eyes widening as his hand moved on its own, slipping past the hem of his track pants just like he’d thought about doing. _‘Don’t talk back, just do as I say...’_  
  
Haise opened his mouth to tell him there was no point if he was just going to take control of him at the first sign of weakness, feeling slightly annoyed at the other's actions, but he was way too turned on to care. He stayed quiet however, a bit of drool slipping out the side of his mouth as he ogled the sight of that plump head leak precum on to Hides fingers, eyes traveling along with them as they moved lower down towards his balls. He wanted those fingers to be his tongue... fuck he wanted to taste….  
  
 _‘Tell him to stick them inside...’_  
  
Haise froze, jolting forward a bit as a pang of sexual desire rocketed through his groin.  
  
“Fuck…” He was practically strangling his dick, trying his best not to come, only the pressure was making it worse “Fuck I’m…. Hide... stick them in... put a finger….”  
  
 _‘Go on...’_ Kaneki sounded impatient.  
  
“Stick a finger in your ass.”

* * *

Hide gasped at Haise’s strangled tone, and he couldn’t help but wonder.. just who it was telling him to…

 Hide let out a low moan and slowly stilled his hand. Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes- when had he closed them? when he’d been gasping, begging for- and grinned at the screen. “That’s a bit, hah, naughty for you, hmm? But if you want some, hah, things to be going in there…” Hide slowly pushed himself over to the side of the bed, trying to ignore his achingly hard cock. It only took a few seconds of fumbling around in his bedside drawer to find what he was looking for.

“Then we’re probably gonna be needing this,” Hide grinned, reappearing and resuming his earlier position, this time with the addition of lube.

Hide squeezed some into his hand and immediately applied it to the base of his dick with a soft moan. He quickly brought himself back to his earlier pace, pumping hard and fast, only stopping to occasionally rub the precum back into the slit of his member-

 Switching hands so that his non-dominant hand was squeezing himself, Hide slowly allowed his other hand to begin its journey downward, smearing himself with lube all over his sack and down to his sensitive hole.

 Panting, Hide couldn’t stop himself from arching his back as he teased himself open and slowly inserted a finger…

“ _God_ , Haise, I wish, _fuck_ , this was you, hah, you’d fuck me, fuck me so nice and, _ah_ , good,”

Hide inserted his finger deeper, at the same time squeezing his dick tightly with a soft cry.

* * *

Haise could barely contain himself, biting down on his lip as he pressed a thumb to his head, his other hand pushing inside his pants to hold the base of his dick. There was no way he could come now…

  
“Hide…” He moaned quietly, eyes watering as his orgasm clawed at the pit of his stomach, begging him to stroke his dick a few times and release the pressure….  
  
 _‘Haise...’_ Kaneki breathed, the investigator shivering as the inner ghoul's mouth pressed against his ear, those long arms winding around to his front once more. Was it always going to be like this? He got a boner, Hide would be the cause of it in some way or form, then the white-haired male would come to his rescue? Haise didn’t particularly mind, as long as he wasn’t looking like an eight year old, but Haise was worried sick that he would be...consumed. Not just by pleasure, but as he lost himself, Kaneki took over….or at least he hoped it was Kaneki... because if it wasn’t... it was something much much darker...and Haise was afraid.  
  
 _‘shhh...i have you’_ Kaneki said darkly, though Haise was sure the other was trying to be sexy….he was a little too serious sounding for that though.  _‘Haise he wants us so bad...’_  
  
The investigator choked, rinkaku flaring to life as his shoulders began to shake.  
  
“H- hide” He whispered, nose scrunching up as his brows knitted together with worry “Hide I…”  
  
 _‘Lets tell him...’_  
  
Where was that boy…  
  
This wasn’t him….it couldn’t be…  
  
Was he talking to this monster the whole time?  
  
 _‘Tell him Haise...’_  
  
Haise leaned forward, forehead pressing into the keys of his laptop, too scared to look and see if the ghoul whispering sweet nothings in his ear wore a long thin mask...  
  
“We wanna fuck you... so bad Hide…” Haise rasped, his hand beginning to move in long drawn out strokes, squeezing and twisting in a way he’d imagine Hide's insides to squish him...pull him deeper. “Fuck yourself… for us…”

* * *

Hide could feel his orgasm quickly building at Haise’s moans of encouragement.

The noises, the hand on his cock, the finger searching deep inside himself for that spot that made him scream…

God, if only the slight burn from his finger were Haise’s cock, penetrating him and pounding him into the mattress-

Hide squeezed himself tightly and abruptly found his prostate, turning a low groan into a high-pitched noise of pleasure.

 Hide began his usual mantra of begging to be fucked, while at the same time fucking himself on his finger and rubbing his prostate.

 The blond came with no warning other than a sharp gasp and just lay there, panting, for several minutes.

 Once he’d come down from the high of his orgasm, Hide lazily looked up to the camera, dragged a finger through the cum on his stomach and said, “Wanna see me fuck myself with this?”

* * *

Haise couldn’t breath, he was struggling for air, the investigator lifting his head to stare up at the screen. Hide was fucking himself, pumping his dick in rhythm with the fingers in his ass, and Haise can see his knuckles flexing… which can only mean curling his fingers against his... oh dear god.

  
Haise panted, saliva dripping down on to his trackpad, the mouse vibrating slightly on the off screen from the contact. He wanted to suck on him, swallow around him even though he knows he couldn’t breathe...drink-ah...there it was.  
  
Hide came, Haise having to bite his lip to keep his moan down in his chest, tongue roving over the back of his teeth as the urge to lick up the mess on the blond's stomach became a little bit hard to bare. His hand stilled, the inner-ghoul running one of its hands back to slide over and cup his ass, pitch black nails digging into his skin.  
  
“Oh Hide…” He let his lip go, voice trembling, his dick throbbing. A long line of cum ran down from his tip, Haise holding the base of his dick firmly as he denied his own release, the white globby liquid making his fingers slip only a little “. _..Do I._.:” He said with  desperation “ _Please…_ ” He wanted to see the other writhe... hear him scream his name...  
  
 _‘Haise we’re so...so hard.’_

* * *

“ _Haise_ ,” Hide whispered, calling his attention back gently as his eyes unfocused to listen to whatever Kaneki had said. “Mmm, _Kaneki_ ,”

 Hide lazily swirled his finger in his cum, scooping a small amount up and pressing against his still-twitching rim. He gasped softly at the stimulation, and his cock gave a weak twitch of interest, quickly rising the more he touched himself.

 “Tell me what to do,” He purred, scooping up some more cum and pressing it inside himself with a slight gasp at being breached by two fingers. “T-Tell me, what should I, _oh fuck_ ,”

 Easing his way in a little more with a clumsy squirt of lube (and a gasp at the coolness on his heated skin), Hide slowly fucked himself with two fingers. “ _Ahh_ , Should I pr-pretend this is your hand, or your dick, gonna fill me up with c-cum, _hah_ ,”

 “Oh fuck, fuck me Haise, fuck,” He moaned as the two fingers hit his favorite spot and his dick gave an answering throb, now at full hardness again.

* * *

The fabric tore, the elastic of the waistband snapping, his throbbing dick bouncing slightly as he accidentally ripped the front of his pants open. “Pretend it’s me….” His hand tightened, squeezing yet another stream of cum out of his engorged flesh, staring down at the white substance idly as it underside and over his fingers once again. Haise smiled lewdly, still unable to breath properly as he opened and closed his mouth, the littlest “ah’s” and “oh’s” hissing past his lips.

Kaneki was speaking, low and fast, Haise agreeing with the snowy tressed man's hypothetical course of action, the investigator gulping down air before he attempted to actually form real words.  
  
“Imagine… that I’m licking your ass… right after I licked up your cum. I’d smear it there... tongue fucking you before shoving myself balls deep-”  
  
 _‘No, gently... It’s Hide we want to do this too... gentle... until he begs,’_ Kaneki moaned behind him, holding Haise tight as the investigator gave a tentative stroke to his cock.  
  
“No... Hide... Hide, we’d do it slowly...pushing inside till you beg...beg for us to fuck you…”  
  
Haise swallowed, Kaneki lovingly praising him, grinding against his back in a needy fashion. Haise was surprised to feel the tingle against his ass from the inner-ghouls apparent bulge. How did a consciousness get a boner anyway? Hell if Haise knew…  
  
“I want you to cry… cling to me…” He angled the screen down a little, bringing it to the edge of the table just so Hide could see him lean back and expose his weeping member, knuckles turning white from the hold he had on himself.   
  
It really... it really actually hurt…  
  
God he wanted to cum... but not before he watched this little show Hide was about to put on for him, especially with those sticky cum coated fingers digging so deep inside him.  
  
He wanted to put his mouth all over that… and maybe that was just a ghoul thing, but he really wanted the blond's taste to cover his tongue…

* * *

“Yes,” Hide moaned, tracing a circle around his sensitive rim with his two fingers, imagining it was Haise’s tongue lapping at him, penetrating him.

 And as amazing as the sound of the two of them slamming into him in one grand stroke sounded, the thought of them going slowly, making him beg for it…

 … Was easily just as appealing. Following along with their words, Hide slowly inserted his fingers, purposefully avoiding his prostate this time because he knew that Kaneki would be mean enough to tease him like that. But he wouldn’t be teasing for long… Hide slipped his fingers free and pulled his ass cheeks apart to expose himself completely to his lovers.

 “Fuck me,” He whispered, “ _Fuck_ ,”

* * *

And then Haise angled the camera down so he could see the head of his cock, shiny with precum and red and throbbing with pleasure. At the sight of it, Hide felt himself begin to babble filthy things.

 “I want you to, hah, fuck me, fill me with your cum, I’m, _Mmmm_ , I’m yours fuck me, make me yours, fuck me with your huge cock, _fuck_ ,” Unable to stop himself, Hide brings a hand back to his dick, pumping it fiercely as his other hand dropped back down to curl his fingers and hit that one delicious spot-

 Within moments Hide was thrusting back onto his hand and onto his fist, still mumbling his mantra of filthy things he wanted done to him.

* * *

Haise envisions himself slipping in and out of that tight little ass, the muscles around him clenching, trying to hold him inside every time he neared the blond's prostate. He’d suddenly push up against that bundle of nerves, ramming it good and hard, holding himself there as he rolled his hips to push even further inside.

Fuck he wanted to fuck Hide so much...he needed him.  
  
“Ah-Hide…” Haise actually started to move his hand now, watching the blonde with an intense stare, panting harder and faster as the knot in his stomach came close to snapping “Hide!-Hide!...So good...So...So-” He clenched his teeth, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, body lurching forward as a hot white ribbon of cum shot up and on to his shirt.   
  
His moan was low, long, and drawn out. The investigator twitched a few times, riding out his orgasm as he stared wide eyed at the floor now, his face covered with an expression of bliss “Cum for us Hide…” Haise muttered, hoping the mic had picked it up “We wanna hear you scream…”

* * *

Hide groaned, hearing Haise’s frantic panting and the tell-tale sound of hand jerking flesh. Hide moaned extra loud for his lovers’ benefit, picking up the pace as his orgasm built.

 Hide managed to keep his eyes open long enough to see Haise cum, but moments afterward he’s thrown back as Hide fucks himself back onto his hand, imagining it was Haise’s cock, imagining that he could feel himself filling up with seed-

 Hide came with a shout, trembling with pleasure as he milked himself for the third time that day. Exhausted, Hide dropped back onto his bed and tries to catch his breath, noticing that Haise was still watching him from his side of the room.

 Hide smiled lazily at the half ghoul and panted softly,

 “So, about the second game I mentioned…”

* * *

Haise sat there, heaving with every breath, kakugan fading as he slowly looked back up to Hide. The blond was perfection. He practically glowed as he lay there, smiling at him as he came down from his high.

  
At the mention of a second game, Haise gave the other an exasperated expression, his fingers still trembling as he left his arms to hang between his legs “There’s...more…?” He licked his lips, blinking slowly. He was completely spent.  
  
There was no way he could carry on.  
  
 _‘You’re a ghoul...you have the stamina.’_ Kaneki's voice sounded... normal now... though he was still very... very close to his ear (or at least it felt that way in his minds eye…)  
  
Haise held his breath, eyes widening in horror as a knock sounded from the office door, the investigator slowly turning his head to look in it’s direction.  
  
Had he been too loud!?  
  
“You done in there yet…” Urie's impatient voice was muffled “I have my report”  
  
“...Fuck”  
  
 _‘...Fuck’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MFA: hey guys remember when haise was an innocent lil bumpkin that didn't know what rimming was *stares off into the distance* so long ago


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MFA: i would make a goofy joke about how late this is, but this has been a very emotionally and physically exhausting day. Hope y'all have a nice night/day/what have you!

“Oh shit, is someone there?” Hide asked, at the investigator’s look of horror at his door. The blond gave an undignified snort. “Oh man, you are so screwed. Err, I mean, how are you going to get out of this one, honey?”

Hide made a show of looking around at Haise’s surroundings, ending it by pointing at the bottom left corner of his screen. “Hey, you have a monitor, right? There should be a power button on there to turn the screen off.”

* * *

Haise glanced back at Hide, his sticky fingers reaching over his desk to grab one of his many pens, using the plastic writing tool to press the power button for the display screen. There was no way he was getting jizz on his laptop... not when he had to bring that thing to work.

“Sasaki, I’m coming in.”  
  
Haise practically slammed his head on the desk, any inkling of his remaining arousal shriveling up in to nothing, the investigator blushing furiously as the door opened and closed behind him. Urie walked at a normal pace, taking a few good strides to come and stand at his side, a puff of air hitting the side of his head as the raven dropped what Haise could only assume to be his report on to the table.   
  
“I didn’t hear much (thank god) but you should try to be quiet,” He sounded bored, completely unfazed by the sight of Haise crumpled over himself, smelling purely of sweat and sex.  
  
“How long were you standing out there?” Haise turned his head, narrowing his eyes eyes up at Urie, his face flushed.  
  
Urie shifted from one leg to the next, staring down at his mentor with a bland expression. “A few minutes. You said you wanted my report tonight, so I waited.”  
  
Haise breathed, muttering a few curse words under his breath as the Quinx adjusted the buds in his ears. “Was I that loud?”  
  
“I was standing outside the door so of course I heard (how would i know what you did before). Like I said... I have music.” He said impatiently. “Are you going to look at my report?”  
  
“Now?” Haise blinked tiredly over at the folder, his stomach twisting in embarrassment as he shoved his filthy hands further down between his legs “... I can’t.” He just wanted Urie to leave… to stop seeing him... like this.  
  
“I’ll come back (you should have said you weren’t done).” Urie sent him an annoyed look, Haise feeling like he wanted to cry as the his ward made his way to leave. “Do this sort of thing in your room (it’s disgusting).”  
  
Haise waited 'till he heard the door close once more, Urie still muttering to himself, the ghoul swearing he heard something about not having as good of hearing as Saiko.  
  
Oh Saiko, your maman was so … so sorry….  
  
The investigator hesitantly turned the screen back on, using his pen to press the button yet again, Haise finally paying attention to the little sounds coming through his head phones. Had Hide been laughing at him the whole time, or was he just moving around. He really couldn’t tell, because the blond was obviously trying to be quiet so Urie wouldn’t hear him…  
  
“I’m never playing this again…”

* * *

Hide snickered, making only the barest attempts to hide it behind his hand. “Yeah, in hindsight we probably should stick to only doing stuff at my place.”

Hide reached over to grab his discarded shirt and start mopping up when a thought hit him. “Oh man. I am so glad I didn’t stay over here last week when I came for dinner. That would have been…” Hide whistled lowly. “... really awkward. Oh hey, Saiko is messaging me!”

“What?!” Haise looked up from where he’d been attempting to make himself decent. “Don’t answer it-”

“Too late! And yes,” Hide mumbled aloud, tapping his keyboard furiously, “but we won’t again because _someone_ had to interrupt-”

“-Oh my god, this can’t be happening-”

“-and your mother is getting all embarrassed and adorable-”

Hide looked up and shrugged. “I’m sorry, man. It’s like she cast a spell on me or something. I just can’t lie when she asks me something. Our daughter is just too amazing.”

* * *

Haise wanted to die. He just wanted to go outside, release his kagune, and just go wild so the CCG would have to come and eliminate him. Maybe he’d chant ‘I’m Kaneki Ken!’ a few times... They’d probably be more inclined to shoot him in the head.

  
“Oh my god." Haise groaned, stripping his pants to use them to clean himself up, the investigator figuring since they were torn that it would be fine to get them dirtier. “Hide...." He was blushing furiously, and it wasn’t just because Saiko had heard him, but because Hide had to refer to Saiko as _their_ daughter. “We’re never doing this again…” He stared wide eyed at Hide's smiling face, aggressively rubbing at the cum on his shirt... which really only made the situation worse.  
  
Saiko: It’s alright maman, i didn’t hear much!  
  
Skype blooped Haise feeling like his head would pop from the heat.  
  
He couldn’t even reply, just whispering an exasperated breath that sounded very similar to Saiko's name escaping him.  
  
“I...I...I’ll talk to you later” Haise hung up on Hide, glancing at his own report before deciding that he was way to... unfocused to concentrate on it.  
  
He just wanted to go to bed and never wake up.  
  
So grabbing his phone, Haise adjusted his boxers (which for some reason hadn’t been torn), and made to quickly run to his room, dirtied and tattered track pants in hand.

* * *

Hide finished his load of laundry and started up the next one. Judging by Haise’s reaction, that would probably be the end of their activities for the night. Oh, well.

Tapping his finger on his chin, phone in hand, Hide considered how best to word his next text. Haise almost certainly wouldn’t see it until tomorrow, and Hide couldn’t be certain that his brain would be as deep in the gutter as Hide’s was permanently buried…

He was half-tempted to ask Saiko for advice, but Hide would never hear the end of it if Haise found out. He would just have to pull something from deep inside himself, and go with his gut.

“Hey babe how do u feel about panties”

… Might not be specific enough.

“specifically the wearing of”

Brilliant. Hide had outdone himself once again. Simply masterful.

Nodding sagely to himself, Hide loaded his next load of laundry, hung the first up to dry, and started getting ready for bed.

* * *

Haise spent the next couple days focusing on his work. He’d left his phone on overnight, letting it die, not really bothering to charge it after he and Hide's little Skype escapade. He left his Skype unopened, letting it’s little orange flashing continue as Hide no doubt messaged him. 

He felt a little bad for ignoring Hide, but he was… so fucking embarrassed, and he really did need to get this things. At some point he’d confronted Kaneki, asking just ‘what the fuck’ that was back in the bathroom... and in the office. Touching him like that... making him lose control… grabbing hold of his body... their body.  
  
Kaneki never answered, even after multiple questions, so Haise eventually just gave up...  
  
\- - - - -  - - - -  -  
  
Haise sat on his bed, staring down at his phone as it powered up, Hide's text the first thing that caught his attention. Just one more day of work and he’d be able to to go see the blond.   
  
“Panties huh…?” he smiled a little sadly, glancing at the laptop sitting at the foot of his bed, wondering if Hide would be mad at him.  
  
-I think I’d look really good in them!- He sent jokingly, crossing his legs as he glanced at the clock.  
  
Akira would be expecting his finished report today…

* * *

Hide’s phone buzzed just as he picked it up, startling him.

“Is that your boyfriend?” Teased Kimi, picking up her trash and empty soda cup.

Hide stuck his tongue out at her and grabbed his sandwich wrapper. Tossing it into the bin, Hide expertly used his other hand to unlock his phone and check his messages. “No way. I pissed him off pretty bad and- oh wait, hey, it actually is.”

“What, seriously?” Kimi dumped her trash and leaned to look over his shoulder. Hide angled the phone away, giggling.

“Come on, show me. You can’t hide him forever!”

“Fine, but you’ll have to help me do a favor in return.”

“... Is it too late to say nevermind?”

“Yes. Yes it is.”

Kimi watched Hide scroll through his phone, still laughing at whatever text this “Sasaki” had just sent.

“You’re really happy,” She commented quietly, smiling. “And you seem to be doing a lot better. Maybe you should start thinking about going back to Kamii.”

“Oh gee, but my work as a cashier is so intellectually stimulating,” Hide said, rolling his eyes. “But, um, I was thinking about. Maybe going back to work for the CCG.”

Kimi’s eyes flashed, and without a word she tugged Hide along, out of the crowded cafeteria and into a (relatively quiet) bookstore.

“Hide- “ She began, looking pained.

“I know, I know what you’re going to say, but just- here, look.” Hide held out his phone, the picture of Haise’s first (and much more innocent) selfie.

Kimi stared, frowning, for a few moments, before her eyes widened.

“He doesn’t remember, or at least, not everything. I can’t just leave him,” Hide pleaded softly, unable to look her in the eye.

Kimi was silent for a long while, seemingly searching Hide’s face for something. She sighed.

“Fine. I won’t say anything. Just so long as you know what you’re doing.”

“I do know what I’m doing,” Hide nodded, as if to reassure himself. Kimi sighed, but said nothing.

They exited the bookstore in silence, and continued their trek through the mall. Just a few stores down, a sign caught his eye.

“Actually, I lied,” Hide piped up, keeping his face carefully blank. “I don’t know what I’m doing. And I need your help.”

Kimi face crumpled into the same sad expression she’d gotten when Nishio-sempai hadn’t returned for the last time. “Oh, Hide, of course I’ll-”

The blond latched on to his friend’s arm and determinedly walked her into a store just on their left.

Kimi’s eyes widened as she recognized the articles of clothing artfully displayed everywhere. “Wha-”

“Too late, you already promised.” Hide singsonged playfully, “and now you have to help. What color do you think would look good on me? And should I go for lace, satin, bows…?”

The expression on Kimi’s face alone was worth every yen he ended up spending.

“i think u look sexy w/o them, but feel free to prove me wrong this weekend ;)”

* * *

Haise smiled to himself, propping his head up on his hand, imagining Hide in some girly lacy undergarment. That was-wait... was he serious? He was going to make Haise wear some girl's panties for him?  
Haise moved his hand to cover his mouth, toes curling into the sheets.  
Or was Hide going to wear them for him?  
  
“What do you prefer... Ka-ne-ki?” he pronounced the other's name pointedly, waiting for the white haired boy to reply, but he was rewarded with nothing but silence.  
  
Normally Haise would be thankful that the little voice in his head was leaving him alone, but to be honest, the investigator was getting a bit worried. he couldn’t even reach out to the other...it was like he wasn’t there...gone.  
  
-I’ll put on a show for you. Or maybe i should just punish you for what happened over skype- He pressed send, rubbing tiredly at his eyes. He woke up way too late...But at least he’d be finishing his report today...that was good! Then he could get a good night's rest and then go ravish Hide.  
  
That sounded very promising.  
  
“Cheese,” He muttered, holding the phone in front of him to snap a picture of his disheveled state, laughing a little at how ridiculous he looked.   
  
His shirt was all ruffled up and caught above his belly button, boxers scrunched up to his hips, hair splayed out in every direction. Even his smile was crooked, teeth just barely showing themselves as he stared with unintentional bedroom eyes.   
  
Hide would appreciate this.  
  
“Right?” he said, almost as if he expected an answer, quickly sending the picture.  
  
-I’ll see you tomorrow. Going to get the rest of my work done-

* * *

“why are you doing this”

“Wow, this one is cute! Look at this lace- eurgh, and the price, no thank you.”

“is it because you hate me”

“Hmm, why are panties so expensive~~. And just look at some of these, my junk would just fall out."

“please god smite me now”

A store assistant nearby coughed, eyeing Hide warily. “Is there something I could help you two with?”

Hide brightened even more, if that was even possible. “Yes you can! My boyfriend is coming to visit tomorrow, and I want to give him a… special surprise.”

The girl's eyes widened. “Boy… friend…?” She said, glancing back and forth between Kimi and Hide. Kimi sent her a pleading look. Say you don’t have anything. Say you don’t serve gays. _Anything that will let me leave and never come back._

The shop girl turned to Hide with an evil grin. “I think we’ve got just the thing.”

\---

The next morning-after saving the text he hadn't noticed he'd gotten last night for... reference, yeah drawing reference- Hide sent a text to his boyfriend.

“so wanna meet up 4 an early lunch/coffee date??? i just got paid 2day so my treat ;)”

“Damn, that girl is good,” Hide said aloud, admiring himself in the bathroom mirror. The way the soft fabric cupped his dick and balls gently, the way the straps criss-crossed across his ass… Haise probably wouldn’t even need to take it off to fuck him. He’d just have to pull it down a little to expose his hole and…

Hide shivered at the thought, and began getting dressed.

* * *

Haise sat across from Akira, the woman popping one dumpling in her mouth after another, the male powering up his phone for the first time today. The food looked delicious, and Haise meant that, even though they tasted like... ugh gross. He wished he could eat them, drink a strawberry smoothie or two, just have lunch like a normal human being…  
  
Hmmm, strawberries... he’d slice them up and eat them off Hide if he could…with whip cream trailing down his stomach, putting a big dollop on his already delectable cock...  
  
“Sasaki.”  
  
“Hmm?” Haise looked up from the table, blinking as Akira narrowed her eyes at him.  
  
“You’re salivating…”  
  
“Ah-” The investigator quickly wiped his mouth with a gloved hand, laughing nervously “It just looks so good!”  
  
-BEEP-  
  
The both of them stared down to Haise's phone, the black device sitting in the center of the table. Slowly the ghoul reached to pull it to himself, smiling absently at the text that flashed after the power up screen.  
  
-Yeah, sound's great. Sorry I didn't get that earlier. See you three hours from now if you’re still up for it?-  
  
“You’ve been spending a lot more time on your phone lately.”  
  
Haise froze, smile faltering as he met her stern gaze.  
  
“Well... I’ve been…”  
  
“Is it that girlfriend of yours?”  
  
“N-no! I don’t have a girlfriend!” He raised his hands up defensively as the blond woman leaned forward in her seat, trying to sneak a peek at the phone still laying on the table.  
  
“A boyfriend maybe?”  
  
Haise swallowed, unable to answer as he was confronted directly, Mado's serious expression making him feel extremely uneasy. She glanced to the side before thoughtfully saying, “I wonder what Arima would think…”   
  
“Don’t tell him!” Haise blurted, clenching his teeth after his desperate plea. “Umm... p-please…”  
  
Akira said nothing, pushing up from her seat. “We have a few more things to do before three.”  
  
“Ah-okay.” Haise quickly followed after her, anxiety eating away at him. They couldn’t find out about Hide... maybe they could know he was seeing someone, but if they knew that it was Kaneki's old best friend they’d freak out…  
  
At least... he would think so…  
  
Maybe... Hide could be the proof of his control…. It was known to the CCG that he used to work there- and Juuzou did tell him to go see Hide…(though Haise was sure that was because the boy was erratic and a bit scatterbrained)-  
  
Haise was just so confused.  
  
-I’ll come pick you up- He sent one final text before stuffing his phone in his pocket, following after Akira as she briskly walked down the street.

* * *

Hide was sitting outside his apartment building, chatting to an old, kindly-looking lady when Haise pulled up.

He jumped up the moment he noticed the car. “Woop, that’s my ride! See you later Mrs. Haruka!”

The woman smiled and waved him off. “Bye dear. Have fun with your boyfriend.”

“Haha, he’s not my boyfriend!”

“You’re not fooling anyone, dear.”

Hide ignored that last statement and hopped into the car, cutting off Haise’s greeting with a quick kiss. “Hi. I think my neighbors might be onto us.”

* * *

Haise smiled as the blond jumped in the car, leaning over to silence him with a kiss. Haise's stomach practically jumping up his throat at the contact. He sat there for a few moments in stunned silence, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape, his breath caught in his chest. Finally he smiled, a contented sigh escaping him as he leaned over to kiss Hide back, lips lingering just a bit longer than the human's had.

  
“We haven’t exactly been... discreet around here,” Haise blushed, thinking about just how noisy they’d been the last time he was here. “We’ll have to try harder.”  
  
He put the petal to the metal, car revving as it sped on to the road.  
  
“What place did you have in mind? You must be hungry,” The investigator smiled, glancing at Hide “I brought some more leftovers for you from this week by the way. have you been taking care of yourself? Did you like what I made last time?”  
  
He knew Hide ate shit food... he just hoped that the other liked something he cooked, so he could make it again and bring it over.

* * *

“Yeah, harder.” After all, it wouldn’t be fair if Mrs. Haruka were the only one burdened with that knowledge. It would be best to spread it around. And to be as efficient as possible, they should stay in one place and proclaim it. Loudly. And repeatedly. All night long. Wait, what?

Hide snapped his mind out of the gutter at the mention of food.

“You brought me food? Yesss. You are the best waifu.”

“What?”

“Nevermind. Ah, let’s just go somewhere nearby that has food. I’m starving.”

\--

“So,” Hide said through a bite of his sandwich, “do you know all the coffee shops nearby? I mean, jesus. This is like the fourth one we’ve gone to.”

“Second, but good guess,” Haise smiled, taking a sip of his coffee. “So, did you really like my cooking? You don’t have to lie to me, if you don’t like it I can try making something else.”

Hide nearly choked on his sandwich.  “Dude, I fucking love your cooking. It is amazing.”

Haise blushed. “Oh, you don’t have to go that far-”

Hide sighed and stood up, tugging on Haise’s arm.

“Wha- where are we going?”

“Bathroom.”

“Why are we going to the bathroom.”

Hide grinned devilishly. “I am going to prove my everlasting love for your cooking by,” his voice dropped to a whisper, “blowing you in the bathroom stall.”

Haise let out a noise caught between a groan and a whimper.

* * *

Haise trailed along behind Hide, brows furrowed, stuttering nervously as the blond practically dragged him to the bathroom. His groin was pulsing, pants getting tighter by the second, fingers getting sweaty as they neared the bathroom. Before they could enter an elderly man walked out, holding the door for them with a smile, nodding at them as Hide gave a little wave and a happy “Thank you!”.

  
“W-we’re really doing this?” Haise stared nervously at the stalls, gasping as Hide grabbed at his hips, backing him up in to one “R-really?” It wasn’t that he wasn't feeling it, but-”What if someone hears?” he swallows nervously, fingers tugging at the fabric over his stomach.

* * *

“Then you’re just going to have to be extra quiet,” Hide whispered, locking the stall door behind him and sinking to his knees. Hide quickly unbuckled Haise’s pants, leaning in hungrily to nuzzle into the tent in his underwear. Hide mouthed around the head and shaft of Haise’s dick, savoring the feeling of it growing hard and twitching under his ministrations.

It wasn't long before he started to grow impatient, however, and pulled Haise’s pants and boxers down. Hide grabbed two generous handfuls of his boyfriend’s ass and began licking and kissing the head of his cock.

* * *

Everything’s moving so fast, and Haise has to brace himself on the sides of the stalls, nails digging into the paint. Hide’s eager, pressing his face to his restrained cock before just impatiently pulling his pants and boxers down. Haise jolted forward, hands slipping from the walls of the stall to catch himself on Hides shoulders, wide eyes staring down at the other as the head of his cock disappeared into a hungry mouth.  
  
“Was the sandwich not enough?” Haise's face still burned with embarrassment, nails digging into the the bright yellow shirt, his hips reflexively giving a little thrust “... You couldn’t wait... till we got back... to do th-THIS-?” his voice cracked as Hide gave a particularly hard suck, a hand flying up to cover his mouth as his cock was ravished.   
  
Haise had to admit, that he was also a little sexually frustrated since he and Hide started doing those few... naughty things, but jesus fuck they were in a restaurant!   
  
“Hide…” Haise swallowed his voice muffled by his hand, eyes watering as he pushed himself further inside Hide's mouth.

* * *

Hide gave a low moan, squeezing Haise’s ass and kneading the firm flesh. God, Haise’s habit of trying to fuck his mouth was always the cutest thing.

Man, he couldn’t wait to get home so the investigator could really fuck his throat, and be free to make all the sexy noises he could… God, just the thought of it was making him hard as hell… Which further stimulated him by rubbing the soft panties against his hardening dick…. Hide couldn’t stifle back another moan at the thought of Haise’s reaction to seeing… his present.

But that was for another time. Now, Hide had a dick to suck, and by god, he was gonna suck it good and proper.

Still hollowing his cheeks and inhaling around Haise’s dick, Hide began bobbing his head up and down steadily, taking it in deeper each time.

* * *

Haise bit down on his finger, shuddering as his ass cheeks were massaged and squeezed firmly, nails biting in to his sensitive flesh. That was new, the whole but grabbing thing, and Haise couldn’t say that that he particularly hated it... not in the least.

He even recalled liking it when his inner ghoul rubbed on his ass before, that whole Skype ordeal made even better by the dull throbbing of imaginary hands taking hold of him, a hard dick rubbing up the crack of his ass…  
  
Where was Kaneki... Haise knew he’d been quiet the past few days, but he figured the other would be here to see Hide at least.  
  
“Ahh-” Haise released the digit between his teeth, a bit of spit still connected to his lip, tongue poking out to lick it up quickly before it dripped down on to Hide.   
  
He watched the other suck him up, going further and further down his pulsing member each time, Haise rocking gently along with him. This was so much better than his hand. That mouth wrapping around him, creating an almost unbearable suction, Haise's legs were beginning to tremble already.   
  
His hand moved from Hides shoulder, Haise realizing that he shouldn’t be putting too much pressure on it, instead opting to gently run his finger through silken blond locks.  
  
“So... good Hide…” He pushed his butt back into His hands, tilting his head a bit as he looked past the beautiful sight of his cock being enveloped by plump wet lips to stare down at the tent forming in Hide's jeans, panting softly as he shuffled just a bit closer.  
  
When he moved, he pushed a little further into Hide's mouth, apologizing quickly despite the pleasurable shiver that ran up his spine.  Haise kicked off his shoe, then his pant leg with a grace that just wasn’t human, freeing his limbs from being tied together by fabric.  
  
Ever so slowly he raised his right leg, the one now free of his pants, hooking it over Hide's shoulder. He was careful not to put too much weight on the blond, but he made sure it was just enough to steady himself.   
He pulled Hide closer, heel digging into the small of his back, Haise now cradling both sides of the blond's face with trembling fingers. “You seem to have a little problem…” Haise whispered, smiling almost too sweetly “You should touch yourself…”  
  
He pulled him closer, using his leg as leverage as he forced Hide forward, his front pressing flush against the leg that still remained straight with its foot firmly on the floor.  
  
“I know we ca-ah... can’t.. be too loud” He pulled out completely, head just resting against those open lips, “But I wanna _feel_ you moan.”

* * *

Hide shivered, letting out a low groan as Haise pressed him forward.

Fuck, that command to touch himself was so easy to oblige. Hide almost reluctantly dropped one hand from Haise’s ass and pressed it against himself, squeezing. _Fuck_ , it was so tight, and he could almost feel himself leaking precum on his panties.

Hide sank his head down again on Haise, pressing forward, forward forward… until he felt his nose press against the soft hairs.

Hide’s low moan was cut off by the sound of the bathroom door swinging open and the sound of feet marching up to a urinal.

Hide glanced upward and made eye contact. The corners of his lips twitched upward.

And he began bobbing his head again.

* * *

Haise was trying his best to stay in control, and maybe it was because he hadn’t exactly been physically touched by Hide in a while, but he was starting to lose his grip. He stroked over Hide's cheeks, nails biting in to that perfect face ever so slightly as the blond moved forward to take him all in. Haise choked as the head of his cock squished against the back of Hide's throat, the blond swallowing as he turned his head from side to side, finally settling with his nose buried in the curly grey hairs just above his cock.

  
“-oh god-” He breathed, eyes widening as he heard the bathroom door open; someone walking in before stopping just a few feet in front of their stall, obviously about to use the urinals. Haise bit down on his lip a little harder than necessary, heel pressing even harder in to Hide's back when the kneeling man just started sucking again.  
  
Tears welled in the corners of the investigators eyes, Haise staring down with a pleading look, trembling as he felt a daring tongue lick along his leaking slit before Hide sank down fully on his length once more. Was that fucker smirking at him? So cruel Hide…  
  
His kakugan flared to life, which was becoming a regular thing it seemed, so Haise wasn’t too surprised. What made him almost scream was the faint tickling sensation on his lower back, and he was positive that the hand kneading his as hadn’t slipped up to caress his spine.  
  
He was chanting ‘keep it together’ in his head, face turning red as he tried to hold in his moans, shuddering as Hide squeezed his butt just a little harder than before as he started to suck furiously on his member. He couldn’t help but start to rock against him, rolling his hips forward to push that much further down his throat, keeping the blond there with the leg thrown over his shoulder.  
  
Haise mouthed Hide's name, his mouth watering as he peered down at the the other palming himself, rutting his hips against his hand.  
  
He wanted to do that for Hide... he wanted to touch him-taste him-oh god anything, “Hid-...eh..” he whimpered, crumpling over as the knot in his stomach grew tighter than ever. His face was bright red, whoever had entered the bathroom calling out a cautious ‘Hello?.’

* * *

Hide stilled as the man’s voice sounded, looking up at Haise. While it was sexy as fuck that his man could not keep quiet during a bj, Hide _really_ didn’t want to be kicked out of the restaurant mid-bathroom blowie.

As quietly as he could, Hide pulled himself off of Haise’s dick, cleared his throat, and said, “Just takin’ a shit. Don’t mind me.” The sound of shuffling footsteps and a mumbled apology later, and their unsuspecting voyeur unzipped and started to piss, this time at the urinal furthest from them.

The look on Haise’s face was absolutely priceless. The one he gave when Hide unzipped his pants to reveal the telltale sheen of fabric struggling to contain his raging boner was even more so.

With only a grin as warning, Hide blew a cool breath against Haise’s cock, and in one swift motion refilled his mouth and throat.

The soft moan he gave was only just barely covered up by their (un)helpful neighbor.

* * *

Hide didn’t help Haise's embarrassment any when he answered the man, the investigator nearly choking on his tongue. If Hide hadn’t just gone ahead and started deep throating him again, Haise was pretty sure he would have gone soft. 

  
He grit his teeth, blinking away the tears in his eyes, hissing as Hide's esophagus constricted around him. If this wasn’t heaven he didn’t know what was. It was so tight... so so tight, and hot, the blond just kept going. Hide picked up his pace, Haise moaning softly at the lewd sounds of his precum and spit squishing in the back of Hides throat.  
  
Haise let his head roll to the side, leaning his shoulder against the stall as he stared down at Hide undoing his pants, swallowing a lump that had suddenly grown in his throat when he laid his eyes on the soft looking material that covered his lover's erection.  
  
He... he was wearing panties-it wasn’t a fucking joke. It was Hide!-Of course it wasn’t a fucking joke, oh god-  
  
Haise gasped, eyes clenching shut as Hide reached to stroke himself.  
  
Before he could stop himself, Haise raised his hand from Hides face to slam a fist to the stall, the loud bang echoing throughout the bathroom. He came hard, body lurching over as he cradled Hide's head, nails scraping the dark green paint of the metal as he released the last few streams of his cum down the other's throat.  
  
He could hear the unwanted guest zip himself up, making a quick exit, the bathroom door clicking gently behind him a few seconds later.  
  
“I…” Haise pulled his hips back to let Hide breath, the head of his cock still tucked behind those lips, the suction becoming too much as he rode out his orgasm.  
  
“Panties... you’re wearing... panties?” He said, sounding both satisfied and exasperated.

* * *

If the man hadn’t been startled by the loud bang, he almost certainly figured out what was happening from the noise Haise made as he came in Hide’s mouth.

Hide’s cock throbbed as Haise thrust his dick down his throat and came. God, one of these days they were really going to have to try that whole face fucking thing. Haise just taking Hides head and using it as his sex toy… _Fuck._

Hide couldn’t stop himself from letting out a soft cry when Haise pushed him off. Panting, Hide rose and nearly threw himself onto Haise, kissing him desperately and rutting against his leg, probably dribbling pre-cum all over his pants.

Hide grabbed one of Haise’s hands, wrapped it tightly around his dick, and jerked himself quickly.

It wasn’t long before he came, gasping into Haise’s mouth and shuddering at the overstimulation as the investigator kept pumping him.

* * *

Haise welcomed the kiss, moaning into Hides mouth as he tasted himself, not particularly minding it because the thought of /why/ Hides mouth was coated in his cum only made this more erotic. He plunged his wet muscle into the others mouth, curling it against his front teeth before doing it again. 

  
The investigator broke the kiss, biting and licking along Hides jaw, his fingers twitching as he felt a rock hard cock press up against his leg. He was just about to move his hand to stroke the male, but Hide grabbed him before he had the change. Feverishly he thrust into his fist, Haise littering Hides neck with kisses, nipping and licking still as he whispered sweet nothings.  
  
“You’re so hard Hide…” Haise sighed, kissing his ear tenderly, lovingly “Do you feel good? You’re leaking all over my pants…” He just kept talking and kissing him, starting to roughly pump Hide's length, the fingers that guided him sends before shaking over his hand now as the blond came.  
  
“Ahh… we’ll have to do laundry again…” Haise slowly milked him, wringing his cock and slowly stroking upwards, the last little bit of cum dribbling down on to his hand. The investigator was sure to swipe his thumb over the pearly head, gathering all the clear white liquid before quickly bringing it to his mouth, kakugan pulsing as he unashamedly slurped it up.  
  
So good…Much better than his own, and he wasn’t sure if it was just because it was Hide...or because it was because he was a ghoul.  
  
“At least we didn't mess up those panties” he tried to laugh, licking his lips before kissing Hide deeply “I’m actually glad they weren’t a joke…”

* * *

Hide moaned as the investigator brought his cum to his lips and licked it off, not missing the way his mouth quirked up in pleasure.

“ _Jesus_ ,” He whispered, watching as the investigator licked his lips. “I mean, yeah, no. This shit was fucking expensive. If you mess them up, you are paying for the dry cleaning bill.” As he spoke, Hide ripped off a bit of toilet paper and started cleaning up Haise’s pants and shirt.

Once he’d managed to clean up most of it, Hide pulled Haise into another kiss and began zipping the two of them up. Once the naughty bits and (most) of the evidence was cleaned up, Hide broke the kiss and backed out of the stall.

Putting an exaggerated sashay in his walk, Hide headed to exit the bathroom. Just before he did, he turned to look back at Haise with a devilish grin. “Oh, and by the way. This isn’t the only pair that I bought~” and left the bathroom.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mfa; hide and kimi best bros 4 lyfe
> 
> TP: dear god i make so many mistakes xD ALSO-this was BEFORE i realised that Haises room...was also his office type deal...AHAHAHh


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh look angst.... and then smut because we are trash.  
> ALSO JUST AS A FOREWARNING... This chapter gets a bit... creepy? I mean, it's plot important creepy, but if you are seriosuly wigged out by bugs ( I know I am) just stop reading when Hide starts dirty talking and skip down three line things.  
> (it's no worse than canon, at least imo)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fucking laptop i swear to god if YOU CRASH AND DELETE ALL MY EDITS AGAIN I WILL KAMEHAMEHA YOU RIGHT INTO THE SUN (lmao I am now writing this from my new computer and it is so *clenches fist*)

Haise watched with a small smile as Hide cleaned him up, cheeks flushed, his hands grabbing at the man's shoulders in order to steady himself. Hide helped him pull up the one pants leg he’d discarded Haise laughing as he swayed from side to side from imbalance.   
He leaned in to the final kiss Hide gave him, stumbling forward with a gasp as the blond turned abruptly to leave him in the stall.   
  
Quickly Haise slipped his shoe back on, following after the human with a look of disappointment. He just wanted to kiss him for a bi-  
  
Wait, that wasn’t the only pair?  
  
Haise inhaled deeply, tilting his head back to stare at the ceiling, almost as if he was saying a silent prayer. Really he was just trying to keep himself from getting another giant boner, but if he WAS praying it would have probably sounded something like, “Dear god thank you for my penis, and Hide's penis, and silky lace panties, and putting those panties ON Hide, and Hide's face, and body, and smile, and just Hide in general-oh dear god, THANK YOU!”  
  
The investigator took a moment, shifting from side to side, Hide smiling back at him before the instructor laughed sheepishly and joined him.  
  
When they entered the cafe again, and few eyes drifted their way, Haises face turning a colour that rivaled a tomato “U-umm... we should... leave?" He leaned up to whisper in Hide's ear, looking around nervously at those few judging looks.  
  
Did the one guy in the bathroom tell everyone? Or-oh... he hit the bathroom stall really hard, didn’t he... in fact... he kind of remembered there being a big dent….  
  
Oops... he blew their cover big time. 

* * *

“Don’t you know rule number one? Just act natural and no one will suspect a thing.” Hide elbowed Haise and rolled his eyes dramatically. Out of the corner of his eye, Hide noticed a manager with a stormy expression walking towards them.

 “... On second thought, let’s grab our food and go.”

* * *

Haise slowed down just as they came to the apartment, Hide laughing as he went on about the the shop manager and how he kept stuttering and forgetting what he was going to say. The guy had gotten redder than a tomato, and then Haise had joined in with the whole red face trend going on between the three of them.

  
The investigator had stared down at the floor, fingers nervously tapping at his sides, Hide thanking the man as he packed up another club sandwich for the blond to take home. After Hide had payed, Haise found himself dragging the man out of the coffee shop, smiling nervously as he thanked the kind store manager.  
  
“Your face was hilarious,” Hide insisted, Haise clicking his tongue as he looked over to the blond.  
  
“Maybe I should blow you in a public bathroom, see how well you keep it together…” Haise was...well the best description would be a ‘pout’...  
  
Hide leaned in with a wicked smile, said “Please do,” and with a quick kiss he exited the car, waving to a neighbor as they left the apartment duplex.  
  
Haise bit the inside of his cheek, looking ahead of him with a blush, muttering to himself about maybe actually doing just that before getting out of the car to follow Hide. The car beeped behind him, indicating that it was now locked, Haise tucking his keys in his pocket.

* * *

Hide snickered. How could he have possibly been blessed with a boyfriend that was so adorable? Just the cutest, even when he was pretending to be mad.It made Hide really want to kiss him again. In fact…

 Hide glanced around the hallway outside his apartment. The coast _seemed_ clear. Just outside his door, Hide pulled Haise in for a hug, and lowered his head for a quick kiss.

 “OW, OW!” Mrs. Haruka catcalled from somewhere down the hall. Hide flipped her off behind Haise’s back and deepened the kiss, ignoring her cackling, “GET IT SON!” as she entered her own apartment.

Pressing his tongue into Haise’s mouth, Hide fished his key out of his pocket, reached behind himself and fumbled to put it in the lock.

* * *

Haise was surprised when Hide hugged him, pulling him flush against his front as the blond dipped his head forward, pressing their mouths together. The investigator made a small sound of disapproval, eyes widening when he heard one of Hide's neighbours calling out to them, Hide only pulling Haise closer at this woman's “encouragement”.

  
Haise was embarrassed, but damn did Hide know how to kiss, because before he could stop himself his hands swept over the blondes sides and up his back. His fingers curled into the fabric, eyes fluttering closed as he parted his lips, tongue slipping out to swipe at the seam of his lips.  
  
He could feel Hide fiddle around behind him, Haise humming in approval once he heard the soft click of the lock, pulling Hide along as he awkwardly walked them in to the apartment. He made sure they were still kissing, clinging to each other, their walk more of a side to side waddle/swing step. Anybody watching would have thought it was funny.  
  
“Hide,” Haise broke the kiss, reaching out to give the door a good shove, wincing when it slammed closed. “As much as i want to shove you against the wall right now…. I’d really like to do this on your bed…” He didn’t dare untangle himself from the blond, but simply stared at the other as if expecting him to snap his fingers and have them magically appear in his room.

* * *

“Haha, aww, and I was so ready for a repeat of last time.” Hide said winking devilishly. The blond shrugged his way out of the hug and began leading Haise to the bedroom.

 Once the bed was close enough, Hide tugged Haise forward, throwing him onto the bed and pouncing on him. Hide began licking and sucking kisses into his lover’s neck. Chuckling slightly, Hide whispered into Haise’s neck, “So, what did Kaneki think of my bathroom blowie skills back there?”

* * *

Haise smiled, conspicuously watching Hides butt as he lead him to the bedroom, laughing to himself as he imagined what sort of underwear the blond could be wearing. They were black, he knew that, and they looked like a fairly soft material. He couldn’t wait to take them off and- ”Ahh-”

Hide threw him on to the bed, Haise blinking in surprise as the other crawled over him, eyes rolling in to the back of his head as a hungry mouth attacked his neck. He arched his back, groaning lowly as he head became fuzzy, a pleasant tingle running up his spine as Hide laughed.  
  
Haise blinked slowly, gaze lingering on Hide's face before looking to the side, brows furrowed slightly. An uneasy feeling grew in the pit of his stomach, hands moving to hook two fingers into the hem of Hides pants, as if making sure he couldn’t leave.  
  
Haise called out to Kaneki, biting the inside of his cheek when he received no answer, chest constricting as he thought of what to tell the blond.  
  
What good was Haise to him without Kaneki. He wouldn’t be interested right?   
  
Haise turned serious eyes to Hide, a slow smile curling on to his lips, heart pounding as he spoke   
  
“He…” He wanted to lie. He wanted to tell Hide that the white haired boy enjoyed it, and was impatiently telling Haise to rip off Hide's clothes. “He hasn’t... been here... for a while.” Haise couldn’t. Hide trusted him, and he in turn trusted Hide…  
  
“After Skype, I tried to uhh... talk to him...” - more like demand to know what the fuck happened up in his head space- “I think he’s ignoring me. Was he... particularly stubborn?” He tried to laugh off this nervousness.

* * *

Hide immediately sat up, alarmed. His breath left in a sharp gasp and he could feel his expression crumpling into despair. Goddammit, he should have known. He should have known this would be too good to be true, that there was no way he could be allowed to be this happy without pain.

 Goddamn, his shoulder hurt all of a sudden. Instinctively he caught himself from trying to rub at it. Instead, he looked to Haise, his beautiful Haise, who looked almost as hurt and fearful of Kaneki’s absence as Hide did.

 “Was-” Hide had to stop and swallow around a sudden lump in his throat. “Was it something I said? Or… did? I’m so sorry, if I’d known it would make him mad I never would have-”

Hide stopped, taking a deep breath. Why did his eyes burn so suddenly? “I’m sorry. I don’t know what your relationship with him is, exactly, but…”

* * *

Haise stared, wide eyed, pupils narrowed as he sucked in a sudden breath. The blond stared down at him with a pained expression, eyes watering. Any inkling of jealousy inside him flew out the window. In that moment Haise found that he couldn't care less if Hide only wanted Kaneki, the investigator would gladly give in to this human, give him everything that he was... and everything that he wasn’t.

“Hide…” Quickly he sat up, an arm winding around Hide's torso, his hand cupping to the side of his face to pull his head down.  Haise kissed him, roughly, desperately. “It wasn’t you... It could never be you.” He wiped at the corner of his eye, removing the moisture that just managed to escape. “Hide, you’re perfect... so perfect.” he kept kissing him, just little pleading pecks, trying to make him feel better... trying to help ease the pain that swirled in those beautiful eyes of his.  
  
“Look at me... love me for now… He’ll come back…” He spoke between kisses, letting his mouth travel down the blond’s chin, hand traveling up to stroke his hair back “It was me... I did it… I’m sure I did, I’m so sorry. Please don’t cry…”

 

“I- I’m not-” Hide sucked in a breath, quieting for a few moments to let his soft gasps subside. “I’m sorry, it’s just… it’s just like when…” Hide shook his head and buried it in Haise’s shoulder, letting his arms curl around the investigator like a koala.

 “For just a few minutes, can we just… lie here like this…” he whispered, cuddling closer as Haise nodded.

 After a while, Hide’s breathing evened out, and a warm silence settled over them as the two men snuggled, fully clothed. “I really like you,” Hide mumbled into Haise’s shoulder. “Like, a lot… And I’m not sure if it’s too soon to say that, and I know you aren’t supposed to say that after sex because it sounds like you’re saying you love the sex and not the person, but… I really _really_ do like you.”

* * *

Haise held on to Hide as if he were a life line, head tucked in to the crook of his neck, slowly breathing in his scent. He didn’t say anything, just letting Hide talk, staring down at the scarred flesh just barely peeking over the hem of the blond's shirt. Hide liked him, he liked Haise, and whether or not that was because he was Kaneki didn’t matter to him anymore, he just didn’t want this angel of a man to hurt.

  
 _‘ “Angel” is going a bit too far. He’s wearing women's lingerie, and It’s not so he can feel pretty...’_  
  
Haise released a shuddering breath, eyes stinging as he rested his face fully against Hide's shoulder now, his own tears running down his cheeks to soak into the fabric. He was so glad to hear that voice, mentally reaching out for Kaneki just so he knew he was there, the white haired boy answering him with a saddened hum.  
  
 _‘Don’t cry, Haise.’_  
  
How could he not cry, Hide was crying, and it was all because of him.  
  
Kaneki didn’t answer as Haise's thoughts went reeling, asking him a million questions at once. Where had he gone? why? Didn’t he know Hide needed him? That Haise needed him so he could stay with Hide?   
  
He could feel those pale arms curling around behind him once more, and Haise couldn’t help but wonder why he never faced him.  
  
 _‘You give yourself over to me way too easily...’_  Kaneki breathed, hands trembling, _‘I thought it would be better if you got used to being with Hide... before we hurt him...’_  
  
That was it huh? It wasn’t just him that was scared of what had happened during the Skype incident, but Kaneki also. Haise found comfort in that, oddly enough.  
  
 _‘Sometimes I feel like I’m not the only one in here... because what ever that was last time wasn’t me.’_  
  
This was the most Kaneki ever really spoke to him.  
  
 _‘I’m not strong remember?’_  
  
And suddenly those arms were of a child, clad in white, turning him around so he now stared down at the delicate pale face.  
  
Haise turned his head, reaching up behind Hides shoulder to pull at his shirt, kissing the discoloured skin there “Hide…” his words were soft, Haise slowly laying back, taking Hide with him, calmly lying there as he pressed feather light kisses up his jaw “Hide, tell me you like me again.”  
  
He sighed sweetly, relief washing over him as the familiar white child blushed, Kaneki muttering about how he was embarrassing as he forced the investigator to sit.  
  
“I like you too... so, so much…” That wasn’t right...no, he loved him. He loved him so much, they both did, but that would be a bit too soon... even Haise knew that. “Kaneki, too,” he breathed in Hide's ear, eyes still blurry from tears.  
  
He pulled the white boy in to his lap, holding him close, whispering that he couldn’t leave him again. Even if he was losing control more easily... Kaneki just couldn’t leave…  
  
 _‘...It was only three days.’_  
  
“Four days, counting today,” Haise replied out loud, sounding just a little annoyed.

* * *

“I’m here,” Hide whispered, stroking Haise’s head softly, “I like you. I like you so much Haise. You’re sweet and funny and you cook well and you blush really cutely,”

 Hide nuzzled deeper into Haise’s hair, as if to muffle his words. “I like you and I like Kaneki. The same, but different somehow…”

 He clutched the investigator tighter at his admission of ~~love~~  like, hiding his goofy smile in Haise’s hair, almost missing the second part of his statement. Something about Haise’s almost relieved tone, and sudden relaxation of his shoulders tipped off Hide’s intuition that something had changed.

 Hide had just opened his mouth to question him on it, when Haise spouted off a ridiculous statement.

 

The blond sat up, confused. “Wha…?”

* * *

Haise could feel his cheeks grow warm, stomach full of butterflies to the point of bursting, the feeling of Hide's face in his hair sending his heart through the roof. He was consumed by this feeling of bliss, any trace of sadness and worry leaving him. 

  
Hide sat up, straddling his waist as Haise stared lovingly up at him, the investigators hands lying idly on the sheets beside his head. “Like sunshine…”  
  
 _‘Like sunshine,’_ Kaneki agreed, Haise happy to hear the small laugh.  
  
“He said he won't leave again..”  
  
 _‘You’re both being dramatic, I really wasn't gone for long.’_  
  
“He thinks we’re being stupid,” Haise laughed at the white-haired boy's small noise of objection.

* * *

Hide’s face went through a variety of expressions in the span of a second or two- surprise, disbelief, affection-  before finally settling on a mock affronted front.

 “Stupid? Pfft, guess who’s never getting a blowie again, you poop face.” Despite his words, Hide threw a leg over the investigator and straddled him, grinding down sensually. “And hey, you should start repeating what he says out loud for me. I’m feeling left of the loop here. Are you two gossiping about me behind my back or something?”

 Haise smiled, watching with glee as the white-haired boy laughed quietly, biting his lip as he tried not to comment on the ‘poop face’ remark. Kaneki however didn’t keep quiet.

  
 _‘Look who’s using third-grade insults.’_  
  
Haise glanced to the side, not exactly knowing what third-grade insults were, but he felt like he couldn’t exactly disagree.   
  
_‘Don’t repeat that.’_  
  
Haise let his hands lightly travel up Hides knees to rest on his thighs, drawing circles into the fabric of his pants, snickering as he responded to Hides inquiry about the gossip going on inside his head, “Something like that…”  
  
Haise let his hands wander, fingers moving to push the blond's shirt up, Haise keeping his gaze on Hide.  
  
“I’ll try to keep you in the loop.”  
  
 _‘I’ll stop talking to you again.’_

* * *

“Good,” he whispered suspiciously, noting Haise’s snickering. He was going to have to make him pay for that. Hide was thinking another glimpse of his panties might be just the trick.

 Hide lowered his head to kiss Haise softly, gently, and at the same time grabbed on of the other’s wandering hands and brought it to the front of his crotch. Agonizingly slowly, Hide rolled his hips into the hand (and against a quickly growing tent in Haise’s pants) a few times, before tugging down his zipper letting Haise get his first feel of the satiny black material.

 Hide smiled at his boyfriend’s choked moan at that. Oh man, he hadn’t seen anything yet…

* * *

Haise kissed the blond back, his smile fading, brows furrowing as he got a little more in to it. Oh god he was kissing Hide, Kaneki was talking to him again, and everything just seemed right. It never ceased to amaze him how good Hide tasted.

  
He could feel his pants getting tighter as the taller man took his hand, Haise gasping as he stared down at the black silky material, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip once again. He could feel a shuddering breath leave him, chest jerking as he practically forced the air out of his lungs.   
  
_‘More,_ ’ The child spoke, Haise gritting his teeth as he squeezed the shaft under his palm.  
  
“Hide…” the investigator licked the back of his teeth, running his thumb up and down the thick vein on the underside of Hides cock, wondering how the silky material felt. He was encouraging the blond to thrust into his hand, Kaneki sounding a bit more demanding now.  
  
 _‘Tell him to-’_  
  
“-Take off your pants…”

* * *

Hide could feel his eyes fluttering shut as Haise squeezed him through his underwear. The silky sensation around his cock, combined with the heat of Haise’s hand…

 “ _Fuck,_ ” Hide whispered, slowly rolling his hips up and into the tight heat, feeling Haise trace a line down him. Hide felt his dick throb in response to the stimulation.

 At Haise’s command, Hide gathered his wits enough to mutter, “Rude, asking that of a lady when you’re fully dressed…” but nevertheless complied, scooting backwards off the bed and quickly (and a tad clumsily) divesting himself of his shirt and pants.

 “Like what you see?” Hide teased, staring down at Haise with a smirk and half-lidded eyes.

* * *

Haise watched with a hungry gaze, eyes half-lidded, cheek warming from the cute sight before him. It would have been downright sexy if it weren't for Hide getting his foot caught in his pants, and his elbow stuck in his sleeve, so after that is was just cute... until Haise remembered the underwear.

  
The investigator got a glimpse of an an exposed ass, and a was assaulted with a full of view of a leaking cock just poking up over the hem of those black panties.  
  
Did he like what he saw?  
  
Haise couldn’t even find the words, his body moving on its own as he sat up and pushed himself to the edge of the bed, immediately reaching out to hook his fingers into those silken undergarments and pull the blond close.   
Haise latched on to to Hide's nipple, biting at it as he prodded the hardening nub with his tongue, hands slowly sliding around to grab at a firm ass.  
  
“Oh god,” Haise breathed, biting and licking over Hide's chest, trailing open mouthed kisses up to his neck.  
  
 _‘Best idea he’s ever had.’_  
  
Haise nodded, still sucking at Hide's throat, teeth digging in just under his adam's apple.

* * *

He gasped as Haise nipped at his chest, and then grabbed at his butt.

 His soft gasps and pants quickly turned to moans as Haise’s made his way up Hide’s chest. He couldn’t stop a loud groan as the half-ghoul sucked another love bite into his neck. His dick pulsed with pleasure and suddenly Hide needed Haise to be naked. Like, _right now._

 Hide allowed his hands to drift underneath Haise’s shirt and tug upwards, letting out a low whimper. Haise moaned and they separated again, this time to allow the investigator to nearly tear clothes off in his haste.

  _He should really just bring a spare pair of clothes,_ Hide thought absently, absently tugging at the strings of his panties along his ass. Which had an unfortunate effect of bringing to mind a certain song.

 “What’s so funny?” asked Haise, looking almost a bit worried at Hide’s obnoxious snort and muffled laughter as he pulled down his pants.

 Hide merely shook his head, trying to reign in his giggles. Instead of answering, Hide turned around, bent over, and pressed his ass against Haise’s crotch. “Booty work, booty work,” Hide sang, “Bah-bah-bah-bah booty work. Left cheek, right cheek, left cheek, right cheek.” 

* * *

If Haise wasn't so turned on right now he would’ve laughed, but fortunately for him, he was still caught up in the sensation of Hide stripping him. He looked up and watched that look of hunger on the blond's face, moaning as the other practically ripped his shirt off.

He didn’t pay too much attention to what ever Hide was singing really, because haise was way too distracted by the appetizing ass cheeks bumping up and down on his crotch, and those panties weren’t making the situation any better. Haise licked his lips, wanting to just pull the thin line of fabric that blocked his view from that tight little hole and-  
  
 _‘Smack him.’_  
  
“What?” Haise breathed, blinking as his thoughts cleared to pay attention to Kaneki.  
  
 _‘Smack his ass.’_  
  
Haise was quiet for a second, hide looking at him from over his shoulder. Slowly his eyes traveled up to meet Hides, a thoughtful expression crossing his features “You think he’d like that?”   
  
_‘Who cares. Just don’t do it hard, and it should be fine.’_  
  
Haise smiled shyly, raising his hand up only to bring it down in the next second to clap against Hide left butt cheek.

* * *

Hide glanced back at Haise, grinning. _Come on, man, I know it’s hard to think with a boner but you’re missing comedy gold up here!_

 

 But all thoughts of that dried up when he noticed the… hungry way Haise was looking at him. Specifically staring at his crotch, hands hovering like he just wanted to grab Hide’s hips and grind against him. Which, if the pleasant throb in his cock was any indication, was something Hide was around 9,001% on board with.

 And then Haise did his weird non-sequitur to himself thing again.

 “Would I like wha- _ahhh_ , yes,” Hide’s head dropped for a second, biting his bottom lip. With only one thought on his mind, Hide pressed his ass back against Haise and moaned, “ _Harder._ ”

* * *

Hide's moan made him quiver, his hand once again removing itself and striking down of the solid mound of muscle, only this time his nails dug in and got a good grip. He pushed against it, spreading the blond's ass cheeks as he lifted himself a bit, wedging his still clothed erection right against that itty bitty... thin floss of fabric....

  
His kakugan was raging, consuming his eye as soon as Hide begged, ‘Harder’.  
  
 _‘Haise-’_  
  
He rolled his hips, groaning at the friction from his boxers, the investigator snaking an arm around Hide's waist to lift him clean off the floor. Hide made a sound of protest, he could only assume, but truth be told he wasn't paying attention. He could hear his heart hammering behind his ears, and the rush of blood coursing through him.   
  
With his ghoul strength, Haise flipped them around, dropping Hide on the bed.  
  
“Get comfortable.” Haise breathed into the blond's ear, giving him a slight shove before working on getting his pants off.  
  
 _‘You really have no self control.’_  
  
Haise didn’t really know what Kaneki meant by that, but he was willing to bet with had something to do with his ghoulish appearance.  
  
 _‘Bingo.’_  
  
Haise didn’t even know what he was doing really. He was more or less winging it, and apart of that was letting instinct drive him, which really wasn’t the best choice here.  
  
 _‘I’ll help you.’_

* * *

Hide made a squeaking noise that he would deny to the end of times came from him as he was tossed on the bed roughly. _Fuck,_ Hide loved being reminded of Haise’s ghoul strength, of his ability to just shove Hide against a wall and fuck him raw-

 With a groan, Hide got on his hands and knees and crawled over to his nightstand to grab the bottle of lube he’d left out for this very reason.

 Hide squirted a bit of lube into his hand, and stuck his ass into the air, facing Haise.

 With a soft moan Hide traced his sensitive rim with the lube, shuddering at the cool liquid and feeling his hole twitch. Slowly, Hide pressed a single digit inside himself with a sigh.

* * *

His tongue sticks out the side of his mouth, the investigator successfully kicking off his pants and boxers, Haise now lifting his feet up one after the other to rip off his socks. When he looked back over to Hide he froze, breath caught in his throat, dick twitching excitedly between his legs. 

  
The took him a moment to process what Hide was actually doing, the investigator's eyes narrowing, focusing on the fingers that twisted and curled inside the blond. He watched for a good minute, Hide's voice breaking through to him as the other began to moan and gasp, shoving his fingers deeper, pushing his ass against his hand as if to try and get more…  
  
Haise moved, crawling on to the bed behind his lover, staying on all fours as his mouth met the back of Hides hand. The blond stilled his movements for a moment, Haise kissing over one of his butt cheeks before moving to press his lips against those digits knuckle deep in ass. He couldn't stop himself, his tongue slipping between those fingers to dip inside Hide, the lube lacking taste-but Hide… Oh Hide’s flavor was something else.  
  
If he was thinking coherently Haise would be red in the face thinking he was being down right filthy, however since he was running on pure unadulterated lust at the moment, Haise only found himself digging deeper; crushing Hide's knuckles with his chin all the while.  
  
Hide barely even noticed Haise crawling onto the bed, so absorbed was he in fucking himself on his fingers. He had only just barely gotten himself into a good rhythm of sliding in and out against his prostate when he felt soft kisses against his skin.

* * *

Hide wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, but the wet warmth of a tongue against his fingers was _not it_. The blond gasped, shuddering as Haise licked deeper, at his skin and twitching rim-

Hide moaned loudly, and the next time that Haise drew back for breath he slid his fingers out and pulled his cheeks apart, exposing himself completely.

 As that agile tongue flicked against his hole, and inside him, Hide’s breathing began to turn to panting.  It wasn’t long before he couldn’t stop himself from trying to thrust back and encourage that tongue deeper.

 

“Fuck, fuck- _Fuck_ , Haise, Kaneki, fuck me, fuck me _please_ , fuck me with your cock please-” Hide begged loudly.

* * *

Haise shoved his tongue deeper, saliva and lube smothered over his lips, dripping down his chin as he continued to eat Hide out. Muscles constricted around him, only making the ghoul push harder, groaning low in his throat as Hide removed his fingers to give him full access.

  
Hide's cheeks no long touched his cheeks, hungry eyes opening slightly to stare up Hide's back, watching as the blond laid his chest and head against the mattress, those hands spreading him wide open, displaying the tight, twitching hole  currently gripping his tongue for Haise's pleasure.  
  
He pulled his tongue out, still laying open mouthed and sloppy kisses to Hides twitching rim as he begged for Haise to fuck him. Haise's shoulders began to heave, panting as he imagined what it would feel like to finally press inside his lover…  
  
“Fuck…” his voice was strained, a few pitches higher than normal.  
  
Haise was happy to find that the boy in his head was no longer a child, but a slender faced man with tired eyes. Those arms that wound around his shoulders and waist, crushing him to a black clad body, those belonged to the Kaneki from the bathroom…but they were much gentler than the ones from when they were in his office… the arms that felt like they were trying to become one with him.  
  
Kanekis lips glided over his jaw, whispering against his mouth that Hide was waiting, an abnormally long tongue running out to curl under his chin in the next moment.  
  
Haise found his hand moving on it’s own, his vision blurring as he abruptly snapped up in to a kneeling position, his hand reaching up to wipe what ever lubrication was on his mouth off and use it to now coat the tip of his dick.  
  
“Hid-e,” He cooed, drawing out the last part of the blond's name, wide ravenous eyes staring down at his desperate body.   
  
In a quick motion he’d reached forward to shoo his hands away from spreading himself, grabbing his hips before dragging him back along the mattress, ass now seated ever so nicely against his cock. Haise was smiling to himself as he watched his engorged shaft slip between those reddened globes, tip catching on the puckered hole every now and then as he continued rock his hips back and forth.  
  
‘ _He needs us,’_ Kaneki moaned, voice just about as sweet as vinegar.   
  
“Does he…” Haise's Head drooped, blinking away the warm fuzzies clouding his thoughts, trying with all his might to grasp at anything and everything that lead him to safe and sane courses of action.  
  
 _‘You’re going to give it to him... riiight?’_

* * *

Haise’s cock rubbed against his hole, wringing sharp gasps from the panting blond. “Don’t, ha, don’t tease-” Hide clenches his eyes shut and tries to regather his wits. He needed to do something, something to show Haise how absolutely desperate he was to be fucked into the mattress.

  
“Please,” Hide begged, racking his brain. “I- I want your cock. I need you to fuck me, fuck my boy pussy and fill me with your cum. I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t walk straight tomorrow. Oh fuck, Haise. Your dick is so big and I just want you to fuck me with it. Pound me into the mattress and make me cum, and then shove it in my face and fuck my throat again.”

 

Hide panted a bit more, then exaggeratedly squeezed his ass cheeks together with his thigh muscles. “See? I can make it nice and tight for you. I’ll milk your cock for all the cum you can give me, then when you’re hard again you can fuck it even deeper into me, make me yours, make me your little slut-”

* * *

Haise lurched forward, precum dripping down on to Hide's lower back as he crushed his dick against the blond, a low moan vibrating through his chest. He felt like his body was going to turn to jelly, knees weak, hands trembling. Hide was saying the filthiest things and Haise couldn’t keep the moisture out of his eyes as he went into sensory overload, the tip of his dick finally slipping into the blond.

  
A choked moan escaped him, his head thrown back as he pulled the other back suddenly, sheathing himself completely inside that searing heat. He felt like he was melting, Hide's ass squeezing him so tight, trying to suck him in deeper.  
  
The pleasure was overriding his every nerve, that familiar fire burning bright in his loins, spreading and consuming everything inside him.  
  
“H-hide,” Haise gasped, squinting up at the ceiling as if he were almost in pain, hips moving back of their own accord before pushing forward once again.  
  
Kaneki… Kaneki-  
  
The white-haired man was biting at his neck, sinking his teeth in to the point where any normal person would have started bleeding, but no matter what it just didn’t happen. No matter how hard he bit down, he couldn’t break through, Haise's skin stretching as he tugged and pulled almost animalistically.   
  
“Ka-...” Haise opened his mouth in a silent cry, the leather flitting away as if it were dust to leave a shockingly pale man clinging to him in the nude, rutting up in to him as a disgusting cracking filled his head. It was clicking… clicking... click, click, click-  
  
His fingers gripped Hide's hips, nails digging in as he pressed filly inside, giving the blond's prostate a good jab. His head rolled back down to stare as the muscles rippling under the skin of Hides back, Haise watching a single drop of sweat just break the surface and roll down the humans shoulder blade. Slowly he leaned forward, curling his arms around Hides torso, one hand going to slip under the silken underwear to palm his leaking cock, the other snaking over Hides chest to tweak the nipple he’d abused earlier.   
  
_‘It feels good, right Haise?’_  
  
The investigator panted heavily over the back of Hides neck, nose buried in golden locks, eyes narrowed and focused on the headboard as he pulled out once more only to quickly thrust back in.  
  
 _‘He asked for it.’_  
  
“No-ah-” Haise clenched his jaw, looking on in horror as something that resembled a large centipede surrounded both him and Kaneki, the pale boy devouring his mouth hungrily. His long tongue deviled passed his lips, twisting like some sort of disgusting bug in his mouth, pushing past his own tongue to reach the back of his throat. Haise felt sick, like he was going to puke, the hundreds of little legs from the evolved Kagune digging into his spine and shoulder, pressing him and kaneki so close to the point where the ccg agent thought they would become one. This thing was called  kakuja right? This was bad, this was when-  
  
He choked, crying into the ghoul's mouth as that tongue snaked down his throat, cutting off his air supply.  
  
-crack-  
  
Haise held on to Hide for dear life, tears welling in his eyes as a nasty smile curled on to his lips, the skin on his back spitting open with a delightful tingle.  
  
He couldn’t even stop it, the kagune lashing out behind him, poised to strike as he began to pick up his pace.  
  
“-Can’t…” Haise wheezed, voice raising slightly, giving that sort of unbalanced sound to his tone   
  
“...-Oh _Hide…_ ”  
  
Haise was no longer in control.

* * *

Hide gasped as Haise finally pushed in, cutting off his last plea with a sharp high-pitched noise.

Hide was still, just feeling the burn of pleasure rolling through him. He hadn’t prepared enough, and this was going to ache in the morning but _goddamn, yes._

Hide pressed backwards against Haise, prompting him to move, and finally he began to with a shudder.

 The blond was content with this, a mild sense of friction against the sensitive rim of his hole and his prostate in passing, but suddenly Haise was grabbing his hips and thrusting deeply into his that spot, and Hide’s moan once again went to a suspiciously high pitch.

Hands were suddenly encircling him, crushing him against Haise’s chest, one hand reaching down to palm at his crotch- which Hide accepted with a gasp- and the other going to tweak at his reddened nipple again.

 Seemingly out of nowhere, a strange ripping sound echoed through the room that Hide heard even in his lust-driven haze. Looking back over his shoulder, he was surprised to be face-to-face with Haise, who was staring at him with a strange look in his eyes, and just behind him… those kagune…

 No, Hide knew that voice… “Ka… ne… ki…”

Whatever Hide would have said next was cut off by a kiss from the half-ghoul, and a sharp snap of his hips. Hide gasped into Hai- no, Kaneki’s mouth, feeling his dick throbbing as Kaneki pounded his prostate into submission.

 Remembering his promise, Hide waited until Kaneki was fully ensheathed inside of him before squeezing and thrusting back on his lover’s cock, begging to be fucked.

* * *

Haise squirmed, inching his fingers along Kanekis sides, barely able to move from the strain of the centipede crushing them, his lungs burning as they screamed for oxygen. Kaneki withdrew from his mouth, their lips still touching as that snake like tongue retracted back like a tape measure, Haise coughing as he gasped for air.

Again Kaneki was trying to rip at his throat, their dicks sliding and slipping along each other as the white ghoul rolled against him, the moisture from sweat and both their leaking members making the whole dry humping experience more pleasant.  
  
“Hide,” Haise's smile grew, betraying the fearful look in his eyes, teeth glinting as a sinister sounding laugh bubbled up his throat. “You’re so _tight._..” His words weren’t his own... and the terror that filled him when he thought that maybe it wasn't Kaneki’s either….  
  
Kaneki wouldn’t do this.  
  
He needed to get a grip-  
  
A hiss escaped him, his lips pressing against Hide with bruising force, Hide tightening around his cock, holding him there. He stayed inside the blond, but he rocked, grinding against his prostate. Kagune encircled them, their expression crumpling as they came inside, body convulsing and curling against Hide’s back. Kaneki began to stroke Hide’s dick, thrusting in and out of his ass despite his softening dick and the maddening tightness,salivating as he kissed down his neck.  
  
“Ahh Hi-de...Hide…” Haise managed speak, watery eyes finally spilling over as a kangune traveled down Hide's front, forcing the investigator to remove his hand as it squished and ground over Hides dick. He continued to thrust, his member recovering in a surprisingly short amount of time, his semen leaking out every time he pulled out. He wanted to lick it up, whether or not it was his cum or not, he just wanted to shove his tongue deep inside-  
  
“ _Fuuuuck_ yes,” he moaned, the feeling of the tip of his kagune sliding even further down past Hides pulsing shaft to push against the underside of his cock, and just barely slip inside Hide's messy hole along with him making him cry out.  
  
“Ah-!” Haise bit his tongue, Hides ass now tighter than ever, and an added stimulus now slowly pushing inside along with him.  
  
“Kaneki-” Haise threw his head back, pleading, the grip of the centipede letting up some.  
  
Was this why Kaneki had disappeared…  
  
What would have happened without him…  
  
 _‘Haise!’_ Small arms wrapped around his neck, the centipede squirming as it was crushed between the child's body and his back _‘You’re going to hurt him!’_  
  
He was scared shitless...who was who…who was he…  
  


The other ghoul in front of him gnawed at his chest, it’s eyes wide and unseeing, completely white as they stared up at him. His tongue slid out once more, searching along his chest, Haise catching a scream in his throat as he saw the small squirming legs on the sides of his tongue… just like another centipede.   
  
_‘Haise- Haise!’_ -and he was yanked back.  
  
The investigator snapped his eyes open, kakugan flickering as he shoved Hide forward on to the mattress, pulling away to fall on his ass. He pushed himself back along the sheets, Kagune drawing away from Hide in a slow calculated motion.  
  
Kaneki was both his madness, and his voice of reason, and thank god he did something. Thank god he pulled him out of the centipede's grasp, the monster only a few feet away, crouching by his feet; ready to latch on once again.  
  
He wasn’t in any danger-and he wasn’t fighting, so _why_?  
  
 _‘We’re weak...’_  
  
“Hide…” Haise said hesitantly, concerned about the blond's well being, “I...I’m so sorry.”

* * *

Hide groaned as Kaneki snaked a hand around him and to his dick, pumping him quickly. He felt the grip on his arm tighten painfully, hard enough to bruise as the half-ghoul came inside him.

And then Haise was thrusting against his prostate, and Hide could feel his orgasm building, feel his sack tightening-

 With a cry, Hide came, shuddering in pleasure. The investigator continued fucking him, and more, as a strange warm sensation curled around his balls, and then down to his ass. He could feel it slipping in, too quickly, with no preparation- “Ow- wait, stop-”

 Suddenly Hide was thrown forward face first into the pillows with a squawk.

“What- “ Hide began irritably, but his momentary anger crumpled at the look on Haise’s face.  “I- I’m fine. Are you okay? Oh god, did I do something wrong-”

 A thousand horrific scenarios crashed through his mind all at once. What if Haise was wrong, or had been mistaken? What if Kaneki really didn’t want-

 “It’s okay,” Hide smiled, trying to push the thoughts of the worst out of his head. “If you didn’t like it, we don’t have to do that again. Promise. I don’t ever want you to feel uncomfortable. If you don’t like something, just tell me…”

* * *

Haise watched Hide turn to stare at him, wearing an expression that said, “what the hell was that’ and “why the hell did you stop” at the same time, the investigator just staring horrified as those Kagune slowly curled behind his back. He couldn’t will them away, nor could he make his kakugan dissipate, he was just barely able to hold on as it was-

  
Haise held his breath, Kankei drawing soothing circles over his chest as Hide spoke, his full attention on the blond's well being.   
  
Haise felt a little more than uncomfortable, that was for sure, but it was never because of Hide… it couldn’t be.  
  
“It’s me,” he breathed, wanting to move closer, but he didn’t dare take that chance “I… I…” He had no idea what to say. He liked some of that, minus the out of control crazed centipede driving his body, and consuming him whole…  
  
“I could’ve... hurt you.” His brows furrowed, choosing his words carefully. “Kaneki... could’ve... it’s not his fault we-....”  
  
He asked for help, Kaneki staying silent as he too was filled with shame.  
  
“We… were losing control.” He swallowed, wide eyes and words trembling. “Completely... Hide-don’t be scared, it wont happen again.” He suddenly became aware of his kagune once again, the appendages coiling around each other and tucking themselves down the side of Hide's bed “We’re so sorry…” he could feel the sting of frightened tears in his eyes, the investigator glaring down at the sheets as his body started to cool down. “We never wanted... _that._ ”

* * *

Hide frowned, opening his mouth to say that Kaneki would never hurt him like that, ever- but stopped short at the fear in Haise’s eyes. It made Hide wonder just what had happened during those months that Kaneki disappeared.

 And then the investigator continued his quiet speech, curling in on himself in his fear…

“It’s okay,” Hide murmured, drawing closer carefully, as one would to a frightened animal. “You didn’t hurt me. You didn’t lose control. You didn’t mean for that to happen.”

 Scooting up to an arm’s length away from Haise, Hide reached out, stopping a few inches short of the investigator’s hand. “Hey, look at me,” He whispered, and smiled when Haise made eye contact. “I trust you. If you feel that happening again, just say the word, and we stop. No questions asked.”

* * *

Haise could feel his tears running down his cheeks, Hide's warmth and and comfort reaching him through his words alone, the investigator thinking that there was no way he deserved the blond. Neither of them deserved this perfect man, and even if Kaneki wasn’t about to call him an angel, Haise thought the other was as damn close as they were going to get.

  
“Hey, look at me,”  
  
Haise lifted his head, meeting Hide's eye as the other told him he trusted him, telling him that all Haise needed to do was tell him that was happening and they’d stop.  
  
The shorter man smiled sadly, wishing it were only that easy, and wishing that Hide maybe… didn’t trust him so much.  
  
 _‘He’s not the best at ensuring his own safety...’_  
  
Haise lifted his hand, hesitantly touching his fingertips to Hide's, sighing woefully as he let let them push and weave through the blond's in the next second. Slowly he lifted himself up, kneeling as he hesitantly shuffled closer, kagune dragging behind him lifelessly. “I will....” He muttered, clearing his throat as he settled back down on the mattress, leading forward to let his head rest against his lovers shoulder. “Sorry… I... kind of ruined our night.” a few more tears ran down the bridge of his nose, Kaneki shushing him as the white haired ghoul ran little fingers through his hair.  
  
 _‘Haise we didn’t hurt him… it’s okay now- Hide understands...’_  
  
And Kaneki would know better than anyone, wouldn’t he. Hide would probably easily forgive him easily for this, and here Haise was making a really big deal out of it like a baby. How was he not suppose to make a big deal of this... He-  
  
 _‘I ate him… and he’s still... sitting in front of us. Hide will forgive us Haise... he’s already forgiven us.’_  
  
Kaneki sounded unsure, and hurt, Haise knowing that probably wasn't the easiest thing for him to say.   
  
He smiled, siffing at he looked up to gaze at Hides face with watery eyes, his free hand moving to cup the blond's face with trembling fingers “I just keep thinking….what would i have done if I hurt him…” it was a whisper, barely making past his lips before Haise cleared his throat. “We’ll be….more careful Hide…”

* * *

Hide shuffled closer as Haise let himself go and began to cry. ”It’s okay, it’s okay, you aren’t ruining anything,” He clenched their hands together and gently wiped the tears from Haise’s cheeks.

 Hide leaned forward, hesitated, and gave a gentle Eskimo kiss, before pulling away. “I’ve got some instant coffee if you want, and then we can put on some pajamas and cuddle. And we can just talk.”

* * *

Haise sniffed, not exactly caring that he was crying in front of the blond, his fingers curling into Hide's when the other took his hands. He couldn’t help the small smile that curled on his lips when Hide did that adorable estimo kiss thing, laughing as Kaneki pointedly corrected him by saying it was called an “Eskimo kiss”.

  
Haise liked them, he didn’t care what the name for it was.  
  
Kaneki just couldn’t get over how embarrassing Haise was.  
  
Estimo kiss... what the fuck was that.  
  
“Yeah... that sounds good.” He leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Hide's shoulders, pressing his cheek to the taller male's with a sigh. “I’d really... really like that…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao i swear they do switch at some point Hide is just a bit worried about freaking Haise out so he keeps going the safe route of bottoming  
> (not that he's complaining, haha)  
>  ~~so did anyone else catch my 50% Off references~~
> 
> TP: jesus i like my angst...


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *clenches fist* i am so fucking drunk right now, and I choose to blame all my editing fuck ups on that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sO, I'm not going to put it in the tags, because it only lasts for the next three chapters or so, but there is prescription drug use.
> 
> Basically, I really wanted to combine my and my friend's experiences with getting high and that one time i was on prescription-grade painkillers to create goofy high!Hide and Thea's response was something like "rip haise" which I took to mean "Ok great! Let's do this thing!"
> 
> So... I did.  
> It's _really_ silly, I assure you.

An hour later Haise was sitting at Hide’s kitchen table, smiling gently as the blond fussed over him like a mother hen.

 Hide threw a blanket over the ghoul’s shoulders, tucking it around him like he was some sort of child.

 "Okay, you have your coffee, and your blanket, pj’s, slippers… Am I forgetting anything?” He said,  twisting at the hem of his own worn pajamas.

* * *

Haise sat all bundled up, a cup of steaming coffee in his hands, eyes still misty as he watched Hide bustle around trying to make him feel comfortable. The fact that the blond wasn't really freaking out about the whole "going psycho sex crazed freak" on his butt wasn’t as calming as it was unnerving. He didn’t know how Hide could still look at him like he was a man... and not something to be feared.

  
Haise should be the one taking care of Hide right now…  
  
“No I don’t think so…” he muttered, wanting to say ‘My kiss?’, but he wouldn’t dare. Not after what he did.  
  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  -- -   
  
Haise lay awake, the alarm clock read 4;48 on the other side of Hide's bed, the investigator drawing circles into the smooth skin over Hide's collar bone. He really did a number on him, leaving all these hickeys everywhere. How was he even suppose to go outside like this?  
  
Haise sighed, Kankei reaching a concerned hand to rub his back, his physical body tingling wherever the ghoul would touch.  
  
They had gotten in to some pajamas, Haise having to roll up the pant legs and sleeves a bit in order to actually fit in them. Only by a little. Even then Hide laughed at him.   
  
“Hide,” Haise sighed, breathing the blond's name as he sat up, leaning over the other so their noses just barely touched.  
  
He hovered for a bit, Kaneki silent as Haise thought to himself. He couldn’t bare the thought of hurting this man... never would he ever… want to… In any way…  
  
“I love you Hide...” he sighed now, pressing his lips gently to the humans, Kaneki smiling sadly as he breathed a soft, _‘Me too.’_  
  
With that being said, Haise carefully pushed himself off the bed, gathering his clothes before leaving to get changed in the living room, not wanting to disturb his lover more than he already had.

* * *

Hide awoke alone to the sound of his alarm and a horrible ache in his hips. He hoped it wouldn’t prove an ill omen for the day.

 Luckily, his manager bought his excuse of twisting his ankle and allowed him a chair to sit on, so his day wasn’t quite as hellish as he’d been expecting, but at lunchtime he still found himself staring at his phone, with no words to say.

 In the end, he decided to go for generic concern. “hey u ok?”

* * *

Haise stared down at the ground, the Quinx behind him as they walked down the CCG. Saiko had tried to tease him this morning, Shirazu joining in to have Haise practically bite their heads off. Alright, well he wasn’t that bad, he simply smiled and asked them to please focus on today's task with a voice that came out a little colder than he’d intended. 

  
He held the phone up to read the text, debating on not answering it, but Haise sghed as Kaneki told him Hide would only worry more. Hesitantly and with careful fingers he typed -I’m fine- staring at the two words before deleting them, instead writing -I’m a bit shaken up, but I will survive. I’m more concerned about you-   
  
_‘It’ll be okay Haise…’_  
  
-How are you feeling?-

* * *

Hide started as his phone buzzed on the table.

Oh, wow.

Hide had been half-expecting to be ignored for a few hours, at least.

Well, Haise had asked, so…

 

“my ass is sore as fuck. if we ever do that again, remind me to use 3 or 4 fingers. jesus.”

* * *

Haise frowned a little, blushing, but still looking a bit ashamed as he debated on what he would say to that. He couldn’t just tell Hide they  were never going to do it again, even though Haise felt like he never wanted to touch him, because Hide wouldn’t like that. He’d take offense, or start asking him questions he didn’t want to answer…he’d probably ask what Kaneki thought.  
  
 _‘I’m not thrilled either.’_  
  
Haise didn’t say anything, careful not to break the silence between him and all the quinx, and he cant help but think that it’s Kaneki's fault that happened.  
  
 _‘I would never purposely put Hide in danger!’_  
  
He sounded angry, Haise wincing as he quickly apologised.  
  
-We’ll use my fingers- He sends, strangely passive as he continued on the topic of sex concerning the both of them -We can stick to oral sex and hands-

* * *

_Welp. So much for never popping a boner at work. Alright, think about dead puppies and grandma…_

 “Why are you glaring at your phone like that?” a girl across the room piped up.

“I’m not glaring, I’m just… heavily concentrating…”

Tilting his screen even further away, Hide hurriedly began tapping out his response.

“this better not be kaneki what did i say about no blowies”

“ttyl gotta go back to work now <3”

* * *

Haise hummed to himself, Kaneki silent as they stared down at the text. Haise immediately replied -We were offering, not asking for one- And now he was smiling a bit, imaging Hide either laughing or blushing at his text.

  
Kaneki scoffed at his flirting.  
  
Hey at least he was getting better right?  
  
“C'mon, we have a long drive ahead of us…” Haise looked back at the Quinx, Mitsuki looking down at a blurry photo of their target before Shirazu leaned in for a peek too.  
  
  
\- - - - - - - - - - -  
  
They all sat in the driveway, Haise tapping the steering wheel, Urie exiting the car with a sigh. Haise slowly leaned back in his seat, crusted blood flaking off his thumb as he turned his cell on, Saiko snoring against the back of his seat.  
  
“Bring Saiko inside will you?” The blond quinx nodded, not saying anything before hauling the blue haired girl out of the vehicle.  
  
Slowly Mutsuki turned in his seat, rubbing his arm nervously.  
  
“A-ah... umm… Sasaki... are you okay?”  
  
Haise licked his lips, eyeing the power-up screen. “Yes.”  
  
The darker-skinned boy wanted to press on, looking at his beat-up mentor with a bit of concern, straightening up his own disheveled clothes before leaving to go inside.  
  
They’d taken down three ghouls today, and to be frank, Haise got a little out of hand. He was blowing off steam... and admittedly he probably caused those ghouls a little more pain than he should have… ripped their kagune off… dug his heel into the hole from which they came even though they were already subdued.  
  
He didn’t exactly enjoy doing it, but he didn’t... hate it…  
  
“What is wrong with me.” He sighed, closing his eyes as he leaned forward, forehead pressing into the steering wheel. “I need a vacation or something…” He breathed.  
  
 _‘You’re stressed.’_  
  
“Yeah…” He twisted his head, forehead slipping down on to the horn, Haise jumping a little bit before re-positioning himself. He let his cheek rest against the wheel, staring out at the house as lights began to flicker off. Saiko seemed to be especially worried... He’d make her burger steak tomorrow…

* * *

Hide yawned, sorting through his mail. Junk, bill, junk, junk, bill, junk… hmm.

An official white envelope, addressed from his doctor… That couldn’t be good. Hide had been in and out of various clinics for the past few years, mostly for his chronic pain ( and something that probably would have been diagnosed as depression anywhere else), but he liked this one so far.

 She hadn’t tried to strap him a hospital bed or thrown him out for his relations with men, which was more than he could say for every other doctor he’d seen.

 Hide opened the letter carefully, skimming it in his nervousness.

 “Hello, hope you are doing well…. looking into new procedures… believe we found a new medication… week of medical leave… at your next appointment I will have your medication ready...”

 “What?” Hide murmured aloud, going back up to the beginning again. This was weird, none of the medication he’d had to take before required him to take time off work. But then again, none of the doctors he’d had before now had been completely aware of how difficult his job could be at times.

 Setting his mail down on the kitchen table, Hide pulled out his phone and began texting Haise.

 

“so apparently i’m taking a week off work at some point”

* * *

Haise sat at the table, coffee in hand as he skimmed over reports, Saiko shoveling cereal in to her mouth as Shirazu handed Mutsuki the butter for his toast. Urie sat on the couch, a granola bar hanging out the side of his mouth, remote in hand as he flipped through the channels on the TV.

  
Haise didn’t look up when his phone buzzed, continuing to stare down at the paper with deep sunken eyes, a focused frown marring his delicate features. Saiko sat there, staring at the device as it flashed, Haise continuing to ignore it for another good minute before the girl slowly reached over to pull it to herself.   
  
The investigator didn’t even look up, continuing to read in a trance-like state, Saiko staring at her maman as if waiting for him to turn and demand his phone back. With a small smile she swiped the lock, peering down at the texts between Haise and Hide, pupils narrowing as she laid her eyes down at what she saw. Blowies? Fingers? Vacation? Her mama...was so dirty! He was never like this before! He was always so formal and so... so… -wow Hide was a horrible influence on him!  
  
She looked both embarrassed and shocked, the girl thinking that maybe reading this was a bit too much even for her. Lately Haise had been spending time with Hide to do these sorts of things? She was almost afraid to read further up…  
  
“He should come here for a week,” Saiko said pointedly, blushing as she gently placed the phone face down on the table, everyone looking to her with a bit of confusion on their face… all but Haise... and Urie, but that was expected of that guy.  
  
She wanted her mama to be happy, and she was sure everyone else did too... but even then, no one could be happy with how much Haise was being taken away from the house…  
  
Just what kind of guy was Hide to make her maman so perverse anyway? It was one thing to tease him about these things- but to find out that everything she’d insinuate was true!  
  
“Mama…” She slid the phone back, Haise glancing her way before back to the paper, then back to her again a little panicked, “Hide has a week off, he should come here….” She said a little more serious, concerned eyes staring at Haise. Sometimes she wished she wasn’t so nosey.  
  
  
“A-ah...He...Umm...Yeah” he quickly grabbed the phone, staring at her as she simply looked back down to her cereal, eating a little more calmly now.  
  
“Hey that’s a great idea!! We still need to have a rematch! No one beats me!!”  
  
“Except for Saiko,” Mutsuki laughed, Haise still dying internally as he pulled up the texts, his and Hide's conversation about oral sex completely visible at the top. Oh how embarrassing...

  
  
-Come spend time with me and the kids for a week. They’d love to have you over-  
  
Maybe this was a good thing… If Hide had a vacation... no doubt he’d want him to come over-and going over to Hide's meant getting out of control... and if they were here…. they really couldn’t do anything too serious... right?  
  
  
-Unless you have other plans!- He quickly added to the end, swallowing thickly as he saw Saiko look back up at him from her cereal.

* * *

The next half hour was spent on the phone with his doctor’s assistant, doing the necessary “paperwork” and haggling over an appointment time.

 

All the fuss just made him wish he could do the appointment by mail, too.

Or that he could shut off his phone again and claim it was to avoid telemarketers. But then he wouldn’t be able to talk to Haise… Damn, he guesses the phone will just have to stay and pray the doctor’s office won’t bug him too much now that they finally found a pill he couldn’t reject.

 The next ten was spent in a quick googling of the name of the medication, and the usual side effects, which were- euugh. Ok then.

 Hide had just enough time to send out a quick text before heading off to work.

 

“ok, just so long as u dont mind if im high as a kite the first few days. ill be on new pain meds so it might get a lil weird”

 -----

 The next day Hide was sitting in the waiting room, jiggling his leg and trying to focus on his DS. Pokemon FireRed was somehow a lot less entertaining when one was entering hour 3 of sitting in a worn-down armchair.

 Hide sighed and contemplated getting up for another cup of cocoa. Man, this sucked. Especially since the problem they were so adamant about fixing had pretty much managed to clear up on its own…

 “Nagachicka… Hideyoshi?” A nurse called out into the waiting room. Hide sprang up and flashed her a grin that showed none of the restless irritation he currently felt. “Right this way, please.”

 Just a few minutes later, Hide was sitting outside the clinic, frowning at his small white medication bag. Still a bit distracted, he pulled out his phone and called his boyfriend.

“Hey, uh… Can you meet me at my apartment in a few minutes, or whenever? I’m heading home now and I’m already packed…"

* * *

Haise had a long talk with Kaneki the night before, the two of them discussing what they would and wouldn’t do with Hide while he was there, and what they wouldn’t do, period. To be honest laying down the ground rules of what they thought would make them lose control was easy enough, the rest was just working out scenarios and pep talks from Kaneki to stay strong and not give in. It all ended up in a bit of masturbation and deep breathing honestly.

  
Still though, He had a bunch of things planned to do with Hide, but it turned out he would be “High as a kite”  
Kaneki explained he would be drugged, so Haise spent some time ‘Hide-proofing’ the house…  
  
Haise blinked, looking over to Akira as the pulled up to her favorite diner, the investigator sighing as she stared back at him. He got the point and answered it quickly, blushing a little as he heard Hide's voice.  
  
“Ah-Yeah!... Just give me half an hour and i’ll be right over. Did you pick up your medication already, or did you want me to take you?” He couldn’t help but laugh nervously as Akira raised a fine blonde eyebrow.

* * *

Hide hummed an affirmation and began walking down the street. If it took roughly ten minutes to walk back to his apartment from here, and only about five to double check his bag, then he should have plenty of time to stop, grab a bowl of instant ramen, and take his first dose of the day. It probably wouldn't affect him all that quickly, and the sooner he started, the sooner his body would get used to it, right? What’s the worst that could happen?

  
“Yeah, I’m heading home now. I’ll see you soon, then! Have fun doing whatever you’re doing! See you babe,” Hide replied, makes a loud kissing noise into the phone, and hung up.

* * *

Haise blushed, wide eyed as the smooch loudly sounded from the phone, Akira eyeing him with a small knowing smile. With a small, “see you,” he hung up, practically throwing his phone as he tossed it over his shoulder.   
  
Akira turned in her seat, brows raised on her forehead, lips just barely parting, “Was that-”  
  
“It’s nobody!” He quickly cut her off, shoulders tense.  
  
Normally she would brush it off as embarrassment, but the look in Haise's eyes told her otherwise.   
  
“You look troubled.”   
  
“I’m fine!” He smiled now, quickly catching himself as Kaneki watched from inside with a heated stare.

\- - - - - - -  - - -

His knuckles rapped at the door, taking a step back seconds after, Haise scratching his cheek as he waited for Hide to answer. He’d dropped Akira off, the woman asking him twice if he was sure she couldn’t come along. He insisted he was really doing nothing, and that she should enjoy herself, laughing as she mock complained that she wouldn’t without company.  
  
He’d really have to start being more careful around her...she was getting….what was the word.  
  
 _‘Nosey...’_  
  
‘She’s just concerned,” Haise muttered, shifting from one leg to the other.

* * *

Hide sat bolt right up. “I’m awake,” He told his empty kitchen and dirty ramen bowl.

Clumsily he got up, knocking his chair over behind him, and stumbled to the door not unlike a drunkard.

It took him three tries to open his apartment door, but when he finally managed it, he threw it open with flair.

“I love you!” Hide announced, throwing his arms around Haise.

* * *

Haise gasped, completely shocked and caught off guard as his arms are filled with a bouncing blond... or... rather a sluggish blond…

  
“H-hide?!” Haise hoisted him up, blushing at the other's declaration as he hung from his shoulders. “I--I well, I, l... umm’ It then clicked as Kaneki calmly asked,  _‘Is he high?’._  
  
“Hey, Hide... You... ready to go?” Haise smiles down at the man, helping him stand straight up right. “I’m making something super delicious for dinner tonight. You’ll like it!”  
  
 _‘Nice small talk.’_

* * *

“Mmmmmm,” Hide nuzzled deeper into Haise’s shoulder, fighting the shorter man’s attempts to make him stand up straight. “Yeah ‘m ready.” Hide gestured vaguely in the direction of his bag sitting by the door.

“Hey Haise,” Hide announced, suddenly perking up and grinning into his boyfriend’s shocked face. “Hey- did you know the color of the head of a man’s penis is the same color as his lips, or very close to it? Well it’s true for you, did you know that?”

Somewhere in the distance an old woman cackled, but Haise could not tell where she was.

* * *

Haise could feel his face being consumed by heat, the blush quickly travelling down his neck and past the collar of his jacket, the investigator quickly looking to an old woman leering at the two of them with a knowing look.

  
“Oh god,” he said out loud, hating that he thought that even though the blond was embarrassing as all else, he was still very... very cute.  
  
 _‘What is this medication even for?’_ Kaneki was concerned, voice strained as Haise propped the man up against the wall to grab his bags for him. With a glance back at Hide's neighbour, the ghoul lifted Hide up to drape him over his shoulder, carrying his suitcase under his other arm. he could hear the older woman gasp, smiling nervously to himself as he made his way to the car, gasping when Hide started patting his butt like a drum.

* * *

 _I should be a drummer,_ Hide thought to himself, and was very proud when he did not say it out loud because that would be kinda weird. Man, Hide had such a handle on these meds, Haise probably doesn’t even know he took his meds already. Fast acting, his ass. Hide could barely feel a thing.

“Ok, Hide, do you think you could stop… patting me… and get in the car by yourself?”

“‘kay, ‘kay,” Hide singsonged, and after Haise gently lowered him to the ground, began stumbling to the other side of the vehicle. “I call driving!”

Haise gave a put-upon sigh as Hide tripped, stumbled, and fell slowly to the ground. After a beat, he called out a surprised, “Ow.”

* * *

Haise rubbed his temples, quickly throwing the blond's bag into the back seat before running around to quickly help Hide up, lifting him up under his arms like some cat.

  
“Hide,” Haise pulled him back against his chest, laughing nervously as the other laid his head back against his shoulder, lips brushing against the blond's cheek. “You’ll have to be the passenger for today…”   
  
_‘And everyday afterwards, I doubt he has his licence...’_  
  
Haise had to agree, he just couldn’t see the man driving a car.   
  
“Alright, c’mon” He smiled against Hide's temple, dragging the other around before gently packing him in the car. “What kind of meds are these?” He swatted Hide's hands away, trying to do up his seat belt for him.

* * *

“Pain,” Hide said, trying to lick at Haise’s hand and failing, leaving him following Haise’s hand with his tongue stuck out like a dog’s. “Doctors don’t believe in magical gay boyfriend love cures. It’s always stop having sex with men, Hideyoshi, you’re going to end up a gay hooker living on the streets.” Hide pouted and shook his head.

As Haise got into the driver’s seat and turned on the car, Hide had a brilliant idea. “I should get a cat. Stop by the pet store, I wanna see if they have any cute kittens!”

After a moment’s thought, he added, “Unless you’re allergic. I guess I could not get a cat if the guy I’m in love with is allergic to them.”

* * *

Haise felt like burying his face in his hands, face red as a tomato as Hide babbled on, telling him he loved him yet again.  He stared ahead of him, turning the car on, Haise's mind quickly backtracking to the thing about doctors telling Hide to stop having sex with men. Haise wasn’t sure what was particularly wrong with having homosexual intercourse, other than it wasn’t commonly accepted, but just who were these men he was sleeping with?

  
He felt this jealousy bubble inside him, fingers tightening on the steering wheel as Kaneki drew in on himself.   
  
‘I’m not allergic,” He muttered, pulling out on to the road, “But, lets talk about that cat when you’re not drugged?” His face was returning to it’s normal colour, the investigator really concerned about what those pills were for now. He’d ask again- “What kind of medication is this?”

* * *

Hide made an annoyed noise. “Pain! Pain meds! Like I said! I’ve been on and off different pain medicine ever since I got out of the hospital.” Hide frowned, quieting as he stared out the windshield, unseeing. “I got sick and tired of taking them and all the side effects so,” the blond shrugged noncommittally. “I kept switching doctors until I found one that wouldn’t- hey!”

Hide exaggeratedly turned and nearly poked Haise as he whips his hand around to point at him. “Can ghouls even get sick? Kaneki do you have an STD because we have _not_ been wrapping our willies and that is a thing I think we should have done. Heheh. Kaneki. Haise. Kanaise. Haineki. Sounds like High ‘neki.” Hide giggled obnoxiously into his hands.  

* * *

Haise opened his mouth, understanding now what the medication was for, mentally kicking himself for not getting it at first. To be fair, his boyfriend was high as a kite here. 

  
“Oh…” Was all he managed to say, Hide quickly changing the subject even though the investigator and Kaneki were still thinking about just what men Hide had slept with. It wouldn’t be such a big deal if Haise could just man up and claim Hide himself so-  
  
 _‘A bit possessive there, it’s scary-’_  
  
Kaneki warned him, Haise checking himself before continuing on to his next train of thought. Pain medication... pain for what…  
  
Kaneki knew, and the look on his face told him instantly, the few unpleasant memories flashing before his eyes causing Haise to swerve slightly on the road.  
  
“-An STD?” Haise choked, blinking away the visions, using his surprise at the others sudden sexual health question as the reason for almost crashing the car. “-Just Haise is fine…” he looked at Hide, watching him laugh from beside him with concern. “You prefer these side effects? You can barely walk... I’m reading the medication bottle when we get to my house... maybe i’ll phone your doctor, too...”  
  
Just a few more minutes... and they’d be there. Haise would be able to drag this giggling man straight inside and sit his ass down.

* * *

Hide decided it would be a good idea to, sort of, lean towards the driver’s side all casual-like. And stare up at Haise’s gorgeous face as he talked. Hmm, Hide could barely even concentrate on what Haise was saying. But damn did he look good saying it.

Hide reached out and petted Haise’s hair gently. “You are so pretty… I just wanna… wanna kiss your face off.”

Hide continued staring at Haise, smiling vaguely for a few minutes.

“Oh, and hey, before I forget again- don’t tell anyone, but I took the first… thingy of my meds. I don’t think anyone’ll notice though.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, for those of you who have never gotten high or been on narcotics before: this is not at all how it works. Imagine like.... 1/10 of what I am describing.   
> The first time I smoked pot, I was literally staring at my friends, completely sober, and wondering what the fuck they were smoking because I did not at ALL see the weird blur they were describing.  
> And the first time Thea smoked, she ended up in the hospital.  
> So, don't do drugs, is what I am saying. They suck. The first time, at least lmao.  
>  ~~this is based way more off drunk mfa then high mfa lmao high mfa just wants to sit and maybe eat stuff DRUNK MFA PARTIES HELL YEAH~~


	14. Chapter 14

Haise swallowed thickly, eyes shifting nervously as Hide leaned in close, his fingers combing through his hair. He felt like some dog, but Hide wouldn’t want to kiss a dogs face off… and having the blond attempt to kiss his face off didn’t even sound that bad.  
  
He pulled into the driveway, Hide staring at him for the good rest of the way before speaking again, telling him that he’d already taken his medication. Haise covered his mouth as a small laugh escaped him, shoulders shaking a bit as he turned off the car.  “Y-yeah, I think... I think you’re a little higher than you realize, Hide.” He bit his lips with a smile, Kaneki still emanating aggravation and distress in his head. “Stay put.” He made a small motion towards the other before getting out of the car, quickly jogging around to the passenger side to free Hide of his seat belt and help him out of the car.

* * *

Hide saluted Haise, nearly hitting himself in the head when he moved a little too quickly. It seemed like he had just settled back into his seat when Haise was suddenly at his door, unbuckling his seatbelt.

 _Ghoul speed_ , Hide thought to himself, shaking his head, and jumped out (not noticing how narrowly he missed hitting his head, or Haise’s wince at his carelessness).

“It’s cool man,” Hide said with a confident grin, and began striding towards the house, “I got this.”

Luckily Haise was there to catch him as he tripped on the stoop and nearly fell flat on his face a second time. “I- I really don’t think you do.”

Propping Hide up with one arm, Haise cautiously opened the door. He obviously did not expect Hide to dodge through the door, burst into the living room, and shout, “SUP BITCHES IT’S HIDE!” at the top of his lungs.

* * *

Saiko was sitting on the couch, a PSP in hand, staring up wide-eyed at the blond standing only a few feet away. Shirazu stood in the kitchen with Urie, Mutsuki running out of his room to stare down at the yelling man from the top of the stairs, Haise laughing nervously as he came through the door. 

  
“H-he’s… having some side effects from the medication.” Haise quickly grabbed his shoulders, bringing the loopy man over to sit him down on the couch.  
  
“I’ll say!” Shirazu laughed, “He’s really messed up!” He looked over to Urie who simply stared, while Saiko leaned forward in her seat to greet their new guest.  
  
“Hi, Hide.” she smiled slightly, Haise sitting down beside Hide, wrapping an arm around him to crush the blond to his side; rendering Hide unable to get up from the couch entirely.

* * *

“You’re really messed up!” Hide informed Shirazu cheerfully. “And what are you even talking about guys, I’m fine. SO fine. In fact, I’m sine…. cosine and tangent.”

Hide dissolved into giggling into his hands.

“Aww, look,” Saiko cooed, smiling mischievously, “Maman and Papa are snuggling on the couch.”

Hide grinned and wrapped his arms tightly around Haise. “Oh, hey yeah! Second movie date! I am the best paramour. Although I doubt it will end as well as the first one-”

* * *

Haise held Hide tightly, blushing as the other snuggled closer, conveniently pointing out that the two of them were ever so close, the kids looking on at them with raised brows. 

In the next few seconds Haise felt his soul leave his body, choking as Shirazu practically spat out out his drink. If he didn’t love this man so much… he thought that maybe he’d eat him right then and there.  
  
 _‘Understandable.’_ Kaneki quipped, Haise smirking to himself a little, the mood around him turning a bit dark.

“Maman doesn’t even like movies,” Saiko pointed out, smiling from ear to ear “Was he even paying attention, or was he doing something else?”  
  
“SAIKO!” Shirazu yelled from the kitchen, his face red as he dropped his cup in the sink.  
  
Haise knew she was only teasing, and he was a bit concerned by the dangerous and suspicious look she was giving Hide, but Haise was really worried he’d actually say that they did something dirty….  
  
 _‘You didn’t, though...’_  
  
Haise laughed nervously, blushing as Urie muttered a soft ‘gross’ as he walked by. Mutsuki, luckily, had returned to his room by now.  
  
“Hide just... be quiet” He whispered, Saiko peering back down at her game once more.

* * *

At Saiko’s comment, Hide brightened and opened his mouth, but Haise quickly moved his hand over it to stave off a no doubt inappropriate comment. “I don’t know what you are implying, but I watched the entire movie, thank you very much.” _'At least, up until you got to the kissing parts with Hide.'_

 

Hide pried Haise’s hand away to excitedly reply, “We saw _Mad Max: Fury Road_! It was awesome!”

Saiko’s eyes lit up and the two began a furious discussion about the finer points of the movie. Hide kept up pretty well, considering his… current state, and how distracted he had been in the theater. If he were in his normal mind, he might have noticed the room collectively tuning them out for a while, until he wrapped up his last favorite thing about the movie with a coquettish, “And of course, that was the night I kissed your Maman for the first time.”

At Saiko’s surprised blink, Hide continued innocently, “Why? What did you think I meant earlier?”

* * *

Saiko was surprised by the rather innocent turn of event, squinting as she recalled the texts between the two. Haise was staring down at the floor with a small blush, blinking nervously as he no doubt recalled the night. Saiko pressed her mouth in to her game device to stifle a laugh as she watched Shirazu leave. He had his hands over his ears, muttering that he didn’t want to hear the details, face completely red. She knew he secretly rooted for their mama.

  
"How _romantic,_ ” She attempted to swoon, giggling half-way through.  
  
“So for dinner- I was thinking I’d make 'Pho'. It’s a vietnamese dish Akira had this week, and I wanted to try and... make it.” Haise changed the subject quickly, slowing down as Kaneki joked that maybe Hide would choke on his food.   
  
Haise took it seriously though and fussed, looking pointedly at Hide before saying firmly, “You will chew your food slowly tonight... I don’t care if it’s mostly broth…”

* * *

“Why are you looking at me like that? _You_ chew your food slowly tonight,” Hide huffed, ignoring Saiko’s choked snort into her controller.

 **** “But no seriously: look at my waifu,” Hide said, gesturing up and down at Haise. “I have the best waifu, everyone else is jealous.”

Hide snuggled closer to Haise, scooting into his lap and wrapping himself around the investigator like a monkey. “My waifu, such a good waifu.” The blond’s affections took a different turn as Hide lovingly kissed up Haise’s neck.

****

Haises cheeks burned, fingers gripping Hides shoulder tighter, nails digging into the fabric of his shirt. The delightful tingle of lips on his neck, the blond's mouth eliciting a small strangled sound from deep in his chest, Haises eyes widening as he abruptly stood up. Hide hit the floor, ass meeting the hard wood with a thud, Saiko watching with wide eyes from behind the bright red PSP.  
  
“Alright I ShOULD stARt on dinner” He straightened his tie, voice cracking like a teenage boy as he spoke, Haise feeling a little bad that probably caused Hide a bit of pain, but that was just... he couldn’t do that with Saiko watching.  
  
Haise cleared his throat, Saiko slipping her legs off the couch to lean in a little closer to Hide to see if he was alright.

* * *

“Ow,” Hide winced from the floor. “It’s not even-” he glanced around the room, searching for a clock. After a minute or two, Saiko took pity on him. “Two o’ clock.”

 **** “-Two o’ clock yet!” The blond finished lamely. Shaking his head, he schooled himself into the most serious expression, and turned to Saiko. “Daughter.”

 **** “Papa.”

 **** “Don’t go koala on your boyfriends. They will drop you like a potato.”

 **** “... I think you mean a sack of potatoes, and okay, I’ll be sure not to… ‘koala’ my anime and ren ai boyfriends.”

 **** “... What’s a ren ai?”

****

After a long, convoluted explanation (which was not helped by Hide forgetting the new terms he was learning later on in the conversation, forcing her to redefine them), Hide had only this to say of the dating sim genre: “... Bring me to your boyfriends, small child.”

 **** Half an hour later, Haise could hear the whisperings of conversation from the living room.

 **** “Ooh, he’s cute.”

“I prefer his twin brother.”

“Mmm, twincest.”

Saiko’s voices rose in tone and volume as she fake-slapped Hide. “Papa! You pervert!”

“What, are you saying that isn’t an option?”

“... Let me get out the modded versions.” Saiko’s low chuckle could send a chill down the toughest man’s spine.

* * *

Haise had the veggies simmering in the large pot, those vegetables mostly consisting of parsnips, carrots, celery, and a full onion. It was just really healthy hot water for the moment, but with his full frozen chicken all tied up conveniently in a ‘stuffing’ bag, he was ready to turn this water into a delicious soup base. 

  
Or at least...the reviews online said it was delicious…  
  
He could hear Hide and Saiko talking about some simulator, Haise biting the inside of his cheek when Saiko's low and almost evil laughter reached him. What ever they were playing didn’t really sound too great.  
  
“What are you guys doing?” The investigator finally let his curiosity get the better of him, putting a lid on the pot before quickly washing his hands in searing hot water, drying them off on his pale pink apron as he slowly walked over to stand behind the couch. With a curious expression he leaned over to get a better look, shoulders brushing the side of Saiko's and Hide's heads. “What...is this?” His brows knitted together, a small frown forming. “-’Your skin is so smooth Nori, can I liCK IT?’ What game is this!?”

* * *

“Shh! Just watch, we’re getting to the good part! I wanna see if his censor bar is as big as Noiz’s!”

 **** “Papa!”

 **** “Hide!”

“What? Oh come on, like you weren’t curious when we first-” With a strangled noise, Haise leaped forward to cover Hide’s mouth again.

 **** “I- I really hope you haven’t been telling her stuff like this the entire time.” Haise removed his hand. Hide laughed nervously and said nothing.

 **** Haise groaned and walked away as Saiko cackled.

 **** The blond looked despairingly towards his daughter. “Tell me, young one, what is the secret to not making Haise mad at me?”

 **** “My blue hair,” Saiko deadpanned. “Ooh, and candy.”

 **** “Hmm… wild hair color and candy…”

* * *

_'You should read his medication. He could have easily taken more than he should...’_

  
“At least Saiko isn’t too bothered by it,” Haise muttered in response, returning to the kitchen to clean up a bit.  
  
 _‘But you are.’_ Kaneki sighed, Haise laughing a little as he thought of Hide's childish yet not-so-child-friendly antics. He was cute, really, but it was just too embarrassing that he would just tell Saiko everything, so of course the next course of action would be to split them up.   
  
“Saiko,” Haise called, the girl looking over Hide's shoulder as the blond turned as well. “Instead of playing games, maybe you should work on your report that was suppose to be done ... oh... two days ago?” His smile was sweet, but Saiko visibly gulped at seeing it, quickly clambering over Hides knees to escape the living room and flee upstairs.  
  
“See you later ‘Papa’!” She called back, shuffling across the hardwood floor, her door slamming shut in a matter of seconds.  
  
“There,” Haise sighed, Kaneki smiling at the investigator's antics. “Now I can breathe easy.”

* * *

Well, Hide could go shopping for the not-angry-making "goods" now, in a place that he knew very little of and try to return to a  property he did not know the address of nor the directions too, or… he could resume playing the game Saiko had conveniently left on the couch kitchen for him.

**** Picking up the PSP, Hide wandered into the kitchen, up behind Haise, and head bumped him.

“Mrrr. Pay attention to me.”

 **** Resting his head against Haise’s back, Hide presses resume and watches the “love” scene unfold.

 **** “Oh, wow, his censor bar is way bigger than Noiz’s. It’s almost as big as yours, wifey.”

* * *

Haise could hear Hide shift on the couch, mind racing as he thought about what Saiko could have told him, Kaneki being his voice of reason, saying, _‘He’s off his rocker, he won’t remember...’_

And Haise was put at ease, agreeing with him, until a soft, _‘I think,’_ was tagged on to the end.   
  
When he felt Hide's head bump against his back he was a bit surprised, having been too focused on his inner worrying to actually hear the other make his way over. He froze at Hide's remark, cheeks glowing once again, Kaneki receding back into whatever depths he came from as Hide turned up the volume to the game. There weren’t any super explicit sounds, but there were a few opening lines that lead into the scene... and they were making Haise more than a bit uncomfortable.  
  
‘It’s so big...’ a breathy male sounded surprised, the ticking of letters following soon after as Hide continued the game.  
  
“H-hide!” he hissed, turning his head, the blonds forehead continuing to press into his hair even as he now glanced over his shoulder “Turn that thing off already!”

* * *

“You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my mom,” Hide said, turning the sound off. “Hmm, blowjob or handjob… Well, can’t go wrong giving your best friend a hand, I always say.”

 **** Haise flushed an even darker shade. “Do you have to play that in here?”

 **** “Shhh. The protagonist has an unusual hair color and the other guy is blond. Do you know what that means? It’s _us_. I’m practically reading the story of how we met here. Well, if we’d me in a strip club. And you were dressed as a cop. And I was a rich play boy. But other then tha- oh wait and yeah if you were human. Other than _that_ , practically exactly the same.”

 **** “Is dinner ready yet.” Urie grunted from just outside the kitchen, with the put-upon expression he seemed to wear so often around Haise, and now Hide.

 **** “Oh hey, it’s Ebony Dark’Ness… however the rest of that line goes, that was way more witty in my head, wow.”

 **** “... (what).”

* * *

Haise held his breath, staring at Urie before glancing at the clock “Should be... two hours…” He tried to smile, though he probably looked a little more constipated than anything else as Hide made his little jokes.

  
He was going to confiscate that medication and make the other feel better in his own way.   
  
Wait…  
  
No that wasn’t what he meant it to sound like-  
  
 _‘Nice.’_ Kaneki scoffed, the investigator pushing Hide towards the table as he looked back at the dark haired teen.  
  
“I could make you snack!”  
  
He was given a dark but confused look, Haise shoving Hide down to sit in a chair, voice rising an octave as an arm wrapped around his waist.  
  
“ANYthing you want? Crackers and cheese? A sandwich? Maybe some cold meat?”

* * *

“Heheh, yeah give him your man meat…” Haise and Urie both turned to stare at Hide with matching looks of horror and disgust, respectively. Hide waved his PSP demonstratively. “... Noiz. And hey, good job taking it like a man, Nori.”

 **** “...”

“... on second thought, I can wait (dear god, why me).”

 _-Well, can’t really blame him.-_ Kaneki said as Urie beat a hasty retreat.

 **** “Aww, I scared him off again. I swear, he is like a tiny little bunny rabbit. I just want to pet you, Bun-bun. Why must you run from me?”

 **** “... Urie?”

 **** Hide nodded sagely from his place at the table and tapped his screen a few more times. “Oh, wow! Anal! Hmm, I might be a little rusty on my sex toys, but I’m pretty sure a banana isn’t supposed to go there…”

* * *

Haise makes a mental note to apologise to the poor quinx later, Kaneki dryly asking Haise to please stop Hides drugged gay gaming escapade once the other mentioned a banana.

Quickly he ripped the device out of Hide's hands, not even bothering to look at the game before turning it off, gently (because saiko would kill him if he wasn’t) setting it on the table before directing a serious stare at Hide.  
  
He didn’t even know what to say, his hands on his hips, apron wrinkling as he leaned against Hide. “You really have no filter right now…” He placed a hand in Hide's hair, stroking it absentmindedly as he looked over to the living room. “Maybe I can set you to nap on the couch or something while this wears off…”

* * *

“Hey, I was playing that…” Hide whined, pouting up at Haise. “Fine, I’ll nap but,”

Hide pulled Haise's hand down to nuzzle it against his face, “I want cuddles. I demand cuddle buddy.”

 **** “I don’t- I’m cooking dinner…”

 **** “Well okay, yeah, but counter argument: _cuddle buddies_. Cuddle buddies with Hide time. Come on, I am hurt, use your magical healing boyfriend love-love powers, come on and do it.”

* * *

Haise blinked, having no idea what the flying fuck his boyfriend was talking about at the end there, but it was definitely something about cuddling. There was no way both of them were fitting on that couch... it just wasn’t possible.

Haise pulled out of the arm around his waist, fingers curling under the blond's chin as if he were a cat before the investigator walked briskly to the kitchen. He set a timer for an hour and a half from now, taking off his apron with a bit of difficulty, all the while keeping eye contact with the silly man grinning at him from his seat at the table.  
  
Haise's cheeks still glowed a healthy red, the ghoul folding and gently placing the frilly pink garment on the counter beside the PSP.   
  
“Okay, lets go,” He planned to just lay Hide down and leave him there, tucking him in with the throw crumpled on the loveseat, the dark fuzzy grey blanket having been wrapped around Saiko earlier today.   
  
He gathered up Hide, bringing him over to the larger of the couches, gently sitting him down before pushing him so his back was flat against the cushions, legs still hanging off the side. He smiled kindly, lifting the blond's forgotten limbs to drop them up on the couch with the rest of him.   
  
He stood there with his hands on his hips, staring at where he thought the throw would be but Saiko must have still had it draped around her shoulders when she scampered upstairs to _totally_ finish her report.  
  
“Well... looks like you get no blanket,” Haise muttered. “And there’s no way I’m fitting on the couch with you, so you’ll have to make do.”

* * *

“Noooo….” Hide whined softly,  “I’m coold, you be my blanket.”

Hide tugged Haise’s hand downwards, pouting. “I was promised cuddles, I will not rest without cuddles. I will rise from my grave and haunt you, just watch I’ll do it.”

* * *

“I-” Haise was jerked forward, knee now resting on the edge of the couch, while his free arm supported him on the back of it. He hovered over Hide, looking to the stairs with a blush. “But the quinx…” he muttered, Kaneki sighing.

 _‘You set an alarm right? Who cares if they see, Hide wont shut up if you don’t lay down with him. He’s stubborn..._ ’  
  
Well Kaneki would know Hide better than Haise…  
  
“Fine,” the investigator sighed, giving in as he gently crawled over top of hide, cheek now pressed against the blond's chest “...happy?”

* * *

“Cuddle buddy Hide has been placated for now,” Hide said absently, bringing his hands up to gently scratch at the investigator’s back.

 **** At first Haise’s heartbeat had been fast at their close proximity, but as the minutes ticked by Hide could feel it slowing to a calm murmur at his ministrations.

 **** After the first half hour Hide grew bored with scratching and began doodling shapes and words into Haise’s back.

 **** In the middle of a what Hide considered to be a particularly artistic doodle of a giraffe, Hide’s hand slipped a bit lower to draw the feet than it had previously gone. His boyfriend let out a small noise and shivered.

 **** “Ummm…” Hide whispered, “Should I keep going?”

* * *

Haise had actually started to enjoy their little “cuddle time” together, snuggling up to the blond until he was comfortable. One leg was wedged between Hide and the couch, the other dangling off the side, arms tucking against the others sides. Hide was warm, and his hands were soothing...calming. Haise thought that maybe it would be a problem for him to get this close to Hide, but he was actually finding it completely relaxing.

  
The investigators breathing evened out, sighing as he felt Hides hands slide lower down his back, lips twitching up in a smile.   
  
Haises eyes cracked open (when had they closed?), lips parting, a soft whimper escaping him. It felt like a small ripple washed over his lower back, spine tingling as Hide ran his hands over the soft fabric of his dress shirt, teasing and massaging him just like before… but now...  
  
 _‘Your kakuhou,’_ Kaneki supplied dryly.  
  
“I…” Haise griped at the blond's sides, a soft moan escaping him now, gasping as a stronger wave of unexpected pleasure ran all the way up to his fingertips and down to the tips of his toes “Don’t do that” He breathed, pressing his cheek harder into Hides chest, trying to will away the inklings of desire starting to form.

* * *

“Hmm… ‘kay, if you say so. I’m gonna remember that for later though, ‘cause that was a pretty sexy sound, not gonna lie.” Hide yawned lazily.

 **** He moved his hands further up, slowly rubbing and scratching circles into Haise’s back. Gradually he could feel himself getting lazier, his movements getting slower…

 **** He could just begin to feel his eyes drifting shut when a loud voice rang out, “I’M FINISHED, MAMAN! I GOT THE REPO- oh, um, I’m so sorry to interrupt-”

* * *

Haise bit his lip, lashes fluttering as he felt those fingers leaving his back, a relieved sigh escaping him as Hide returned to just lazily scratching at his back. He hummed, content, finding that cuddling was something he didn't know he wanted. 

Hide's movements gradually got slower, Haise figuring the human was finally getting to sl-  
  
“Ahh!” Haise froze, lifting his head to stare up at the girl standing behind the couch,  stack of papers in her hand. Well damn... she actually went and did it.  
  
“I- it’s not what it looks like” Haise blushed, Saiko's evil smile making his stomach quiver nervously.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MFA: I LOVE this chapter because it FORESHADOWS Hide becoming A LONELY CAT LADY and Urie running off to become a PLAYBOY BUNNY <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MFA: After 22 years you'd think I'd have figured out how to stop videogames from taking over my life. _You'd be mistaken_  
>  On an unrelated note, guess who finally got around to playing Dragon Age: Inquisition! :D

“Is it a dog pile then?” She smirked as Haise untangled himself from Hides arms, sitting up quickly to take the report from her, now straddling the blonds legs now, which only made the quinx chuckle to herself.

* * *

“Don’t mind us, we were just playing adult twister!” Hide piped in, slipping his hands underneath Haise’s shirt. “If you want to go get your game thing from the kitchen table, you can play along to!

The blond winced as Haise bopped him on the head with Saiko’s report as punishment for that remark. “No more cuddling for you,” Haise said, getting up from the couch. From the kitchen something beeped, and the ghoul left to go do the cooking thing.

 “Wait what? No, come back blanket Haise!” Hide whined, pleadingly stretching his hand after his boyfriend.

“You done fucked up, Papa,” Saiko observes with a smirk.

“Man, I’ll have to buy like a whole crate of chocolate now.”

“You… You go ahead and do that.”

* * *

Saiko stayed downstairs, at some point setting up Mario Kart so the two of them could play a more _appropriate_ game with Haise around. With the meal slowly pulling together Shirazu found himself meandering down stairs, joining in with their fun.

Haise smiled down at the large bowls of soup, wishing he could eat some himself. It all looked so damn good, yet he couldn’t partake. Sad, but he could at least enjoy everyone else enjoying it!  
  
As he set the table, Mutsuki and Urie joined him, sitting down at the table before Haise called the rest of the gang over. Haise helped Hide by gently setting him up in his chair, pushing him closer to the table. Shirazu laughed, Mutsuki smiling to himself.  
  
“He’s like a kid!” the blond quinx picked up his chopsticks, pointing at Hide “Man, have the drugs even worn off any?”  
  
“Mhm (good).” Urie was already spooning broth into his mouth, Saiko just holding the salt shaker over her bowl, letting the sodium just pour in.

* * *

Hide pouted at Shirazu and clicked his chopsticks threateningly towards his food. “Hey, I’m still plenty sharp enough to steal that,”

 Shirazu grinned. “You fell over when you turned your cart too quickly!”

“That happened ages ago!”

“It was two minutes ago!”

* * *

“Saiko that’s enough salt…” Haise scolded, gently slapping at her hand to make her stop pouring the little white crystals in her soup. She was about to protest when the mentor sent her a sharp look, Mutsuki taking the little vial from her to add a few shakes to his own bowl.

“It tastes better this way…” She grumbled tipping the bowl back to slurp a bit of the broth, cringing a bit but continuing to drink.  
  
Haise sighed at her poor manners, fingers weaving together as they made a cradle for his chin, smiling as Shirazu challenged Hide to an eating contest.  
  
Urie visibly leaned away as the blonds went at it, a mouth full of noodles, yet still muttering a muffled, “Idiots,”.  
  
\- - - - - - -  -  
  
After Dinner, Haise asked Mutsuki to help him with dishes, Urie going away to brood while the others all returned to their fun and games. Haise sent the dark-skinned quinx to join the others as he packed up the leftovers to stick in the fridge, and sooner or later he too was tucked between Hide and the armrest, watching with little interest as they raced around the track.  
  
Hide managed to get him to play one round, and Haise would admit, he was not very good. He kept crashing his car, and he had no idea how to use his items.  
  
By the the race was finished, Haise had only managed to complete his first lap.  
  
“I... I lost, right? Can I quit?” he asked Hide, turning to the human with a displeased look.

* * *

“Aww, bebee it’s okay, I appreciate you the same,” Hide said turning slightly to kiss Haise’s nose.

“Eww, gross,” Saiko said, squinting her face at the PDA.

“Shoosh you,” Hide said through a yawn. Man, he’d started feeling very sluggish. Hide only just barely lost in third, but usually he could give Saiko a good run for her money, at least. It was barely past seven and all Hide wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep off the beginning of a migraine pulsing through his head.

“Aww, but if you leave then we only have three players…

* * *

Haise dropped his controller with a small smile “It’s probably his medication” the instructor laughed, watching as the blond's head dropped slightly only to jerk back up when he woke himself. “I’ll put him to bed,” Haise hoisted the groggy man up, Saiko huffing as Shirazu started a new round. “Okay!-I get Yoshi this time!”

"Good night Hideyoshi! Goodnight Sasaki!”   
  
Haise blinked back at a smiling Mutsuki, blinking as he blushed.   
  
He was just putting Hide to bed! He wasn't even tired! Not to mention they both wouldn’t fit on his bed.  
  
 _‘If you two fit on the couch, you can fit on the mattress.’_ Kaneki sighed, Haise blushing harder.

* * *

Hide waved lazily as he was dragged upstairs. “Night guys, don’t kill anyone while we’re gone- or at least not anyone important~”

The human was a bit put out that Haise didn’t give him a moment to prepare before entering his lover’s room, but quickly got over it upon remembering that neither of them were teenage girls and had already had lots of gratuitous sex. All the same, a second to catch his breath and prep himself would have been appreciated!

Nevertheless, he found himself looking around the room eagerly. It was neat, well put together, but still had hints of its owner’s personality. Maybe it was his meds talking, but Hide particularly appreciated the banana poster.

“Ok, we’ll just… here, how about you make yourself comfortable on the bed, and then I can go-”

“Wait,” Hide tugged on Haise’s sleeve and turned his best puppy dog eyes on him. “I’ve got a headache. Stay with me please?”

* * *

Haise blinked, scratching his cheek nervously, moving to sit Hide down on the bed. He really had to get some work done...but it wouldn’t hurt to just wait till the other passed out right? He could sneak away and finish looking over Saiko's report and documenting ghouls from the past week in to the wee hours of the morning.

Hide looked so sleepy before, it would take no time at all.  
  
“Fine,” He sighed with a small laugh, pushing Hide back to lay down for the second time today, climbing on the bed to lay facing him. Haise gathered Hide's head in his arms, cradling him against his collarbone, one hand soothingly running over the shoulder that drove hide to take this sort of loopy medicine in the first place. He could feel the other's chest inflate against his stomach, hesitantly wrapping their legs together. His heart was going a million miles a minutes, but for the most part Haise found that he wasn't uncomfortable at all... in the sense he didn’t feel like his Kagune were going to come out and do all sort of freaky things under the influence of that… thing... in his head.  
  
 _‘You need to stop thinking about that. We won’t let it happen again.’_  
  
Haise couldn’t just _stop_ thinking about it... Hell, he dreamt about it, if you could even call those dreams.  
  
“This okay?” Haise whispered into the blond hair, inhaling deeply, Kaneki sighing from the familiar scent of sunshine and men's body wash. Some things never changed.

* * *

Hide sighed in pleasure as he was pushed down onto the bed again, wrapping his arms around Haise and gently rubbing more circles into his back.

The blond hummed softly at the other’s question and nuzzled deeper into his chest. After a few moments of silence except for their quiet breathing, Hide sleepily whispered, “I don’t know what you were talking about, there’s plenty of room to fuck on this bed.”

Within the next ten minutes, Hide could feel his movements slowing again and his eyes drifting shut.

* * *

Haise had tightened his hold on Hide at the thought of them trying even attempt something like that in here. Not a smart idea. He continued to massage Hide's shoulder and down his back, kissing the other's head only after the investigator was sure the blond was asleep.

 

Eventually he managed to escape the tangle of limbs, and the death hold Hide had on his waist, slinking way to go finish his work.   
  
It was hours later when he rested his head in his hand, staring down at the messy scrawl that Saiko called handwriting. Before he knew it, his eyes were closing, sleep over coming him.

* * *

Haise awoke to a gentle poking.

Hide was standing a bit away from him, with his hand pressed against his mouth. In the dim light of Haise’s lamp, he could just barely see the beads of sweat running down Hide’s face, coupled with an unusual paleness.

“... Bathroom?” The blond whispered, paling further and swaying slightly.

* * *

Haise blinked tiredly, staring up at Hide as if he were an illusion, looking completely lost as to why the blond was in his house in the first place. Realization glimmered in his eyes as he remembered that Hide was staying with him, and then panic washed over him as he became aware of the other's sickness.

“Come with me.” Haise quickly stood up, wrapping an arm around his shoulder as he lead him back out of the office and down the hall. The investigator used his hip to nudge the door open, pulling Hide in before standing him in front if the toilet. “Are you...okay?”

* * *

“Ah, I’m fine…” Hide said, leaning over the toilet. “Really, you can go to sleep, it’s just a little nausea. I’ll be fine in an hour or two…”

 Trying not to think about how dirty it probably was, Hide laid his cheek on the cool porcelain and closed his eyes. The slight green tinge to his face began to slowly fade.

 Hide chuckled weakly. “Aw man I knew we should have wrapped our willies, you’ve gone and knocked me up. Now we’ll have to go find your aunt and my parents and have a shotgun wedding.” 

* * *

Haise was about to tell Hide to pick his head up off the toilet, kneeling down beside the blond to rub his back, but Hide spoke before he could even open his mouth. His mouth as dry, and his eyes were wide, face completely flushed.

“D-don’t be stupid!” He whispered trying to soothe the other. “Men can’t get pregnant, and I don’t even have an aunt.”  
  
 _‘I did.’_  
  
“Oh…”  
  
Haise continued to rub Hides back, inhaling deeply “Even if it were possible, I'd still have to say these are side effects from your medication”

* * *

“Yeah you do, or at least Kaneki does. Ah, don’t feel bad about not knowing, she isn’t very nice. Or at least, she wasn’t when I spoke to her…” Hide shook his head slightly, still lying against the porcelain. It felt nice on his cheek.

 “And typical man, not taking responsibility for his child. How am I going to raise this kid by myself? Ma baby needs a daddy!” The blond laughed softly at his own dumb joke and reached behind himself to grasp for Haise’s hand, squeezing it tight. “Don’t worry, the morning sickness should go away in a few weeks, if Nanako from work told the truth..."

* * *

Kaneki rolled his eyes, Haise following suit, squeezing Hide's hand when the other reached back to grab him. He momentarily wondered what time it was, yanking Hide off the toilet to pull the other against his side, leaning the both of them against the tub instead of the letting his boyfriend make out with the toilet seat. 

 “I guess I’ll have to take responsibility,” Haise was quiet, lips pressing against Hides forehead briefly. “Does that make you the ‘mama’ now?” He laughed a little, Kaneki muttering a soft,  _‘Don’t encourage him.’_

* * *

Hide gasped and instinctively raised his hand to cover his mouth at Haise’s sudden movement, but after a few seconds his stomach quelled and he dropped it back to curl in his boyfriend’s.

“Mmmm, nope, definitely not. I’d never dream of taking that dream away from you, I know you’ve been waiting your whole life to carry my babies,” Hide mumbled, smiling sleepily and snuggling closer to Haise. “Don’t worry hun, I’ll make an honest woman out of you soon, I just have to ask your daddy for your hand in marriage…”

* * *

His cheeks flushed, eyes wide as Hide threw his teasing right back at him, Haise trying his best not to think about the implications of having Hide's children would mean. None of that. No, it was strictly hand jobs and oral for the time being.

 _'You’re already like a mom, stop getting all excited.’_  
  
“I’m not even excited,” Haise whispered, kissing Hide's temples before resting his head against sweet-smelling blond hair.   
  
_‘Then stop thinking about sex.’_

  
Haise's shoulders trembled with silent nervous laughter. “My ‘daddy’ huh?” He thought about who would be closest to fitting the role of his father. Arima was the first person to come to mind.

Did Arima even know... who Hide was? He could never chance that. He was cringing just thinking about it.  
  
“Impossible,” he gritted his teeth, closing his eyes, holding Hide even closer. There was no way he’d let them find out about Hide.  
  
 _‘And yet you brought him here for the week...’_  
  
“Shut up.” he frowned, closing his eyes tightly, attempting to will himself to sleep again, which wasn’t proving to be too difficult.

* * *

“Hey, quit talking to Kaneki without me,” Hide whispered, rubbing circles into Haise’s hand. “Tell me what he’s saying about me. Does he think my butt is cute? Give me the gossip-” Hide was interrupted by a wide yawn. “-Actually, don’t give me the gossip. it can wait until morning. Sleeping cuddle time now...’

Hide slowly clambered to his feet, gently tugging the investigator up after him. “C’mon, time for bed. We can snuggle on the bathroom floor tomorrow, right now you look like you could sleep for a week straight.”

* * *

Haise chuckled darkly, Kaneki whispering, _‘Don’t you dare,’_ as if he was saying the nastiest things. Maybe he could get the ghoul to talk later, but right now, Hide was right. Haise was beat, and the blond was sick to his stomach.

\- - - -  - -  - -  -  
  
Haise blinked, staring up at the ceiling, slowly turning his head to have his nose brush against a rather attractive human. The investigator stared sleepily, admiring how peaceful the man looked. he even had the smallest smile on his face. At some point Hide had snuck an arm up his shirt, a hand pressing in to his ribs, and a long leg was thrown over his waist.   
  
“Hmm,” Haise smiled reaching up to gently push some of that messy hair out of his boyfriend's eyes… speaking of messy hair, his own must be horrifying... as it usually was…

* * *

Haise pressed a feather light kiss to Hide’s forehead, before straightening up and pumping his cock tightly in a rough jerking motion.

Hide groaned and looked behind him to where Kaneki was licking up his taint, rubbing a teasing finger around his asshole.

Suddenly Haise’s hands were gripping the sides of the blond’s face, tugging him forward and onto his knees. With a low moan the investigator rolled his hips forward to brush his other head against Hide’s lips.

The human took him slowly, bobbing his head deeper onto Haise’s cock. When he finally reached the base, Hide shivered at the noise he always made. God, he loved giving blowies. The only thing he liked better was-

If his mouth were not already full, Hide would have gasped as Kaneki penetrated him without warning, filling him up easily, going deep and rubbing right up against his-

Hide moaned around Haise’s cock, and in response the half-ghoul knotted his hands in his hair and fucked his face, just as Kaneki began thrusting into him from behind, moaning deliciously and whispering about how tight Hide was.

* * *

Haise ran his fingers through those silken locks, smiling at the small crease in the other's brow, his hand coming back down to cup his cheek. Hide was surprisingly cute. Sure he was handsome, but at this moment, Haise thought he was absolutely adorable.

 

Hide groaned, lips parting. Haise leaned in to inspect his strange expression. “Having a bad dream?” He whispered,  moving to shift completely on to his side, Hide's arms tightening around him. “It’s oka-” His eyes widened, gasping as something hard pressed against his thigh. The investigator tried to move back, regretting his change in position, fingers curling into the blond's shirt as another moan washed over his collarbone.  
  
No longer adorable. Definitely not a bad dream.  
  
Haise held his breath, eyes wide as Hide slowly rolled his hips against his leg, one of the arms confining him uncoiling to let a hand wander over his back. It snaked up over his shoulder blade, nails digging into the back of his neck, Hide slowly inching down his spine.  
  
Lower... lower... another small thrust against him, and lowe-”Ah-”  
  
Haise bit his lip, trembling as his lower back was practically clawed, Hide making another small noise.  
  
“Hide,” Haise whispered against the blond's forehead “Hide- c'mon, wake u-” Haise tried to move, using his body as the driving force to try jolt Hide out of whatever perverted dream he was having, though Haise was mortified to find that his plan only caused Hide to wrap his leg around him even tighter. “H... Hi…” Haise gasped, shutting his eyes as he tried to keep calm, a familiar warmth pooling in his groin, face burning from embarrassment.  
  
 _‘He did this before in high school. I doubt he remembers, but I do.’_  
  
“Not helping…” Haise gritted his teeth.

* * *

Haise whispered something, but it dissolved into a low groan as Hide swallowed around him.

“Mmm, so good,” Kaneki moaned, dragging his sharp fingernails down the blond’s back.

And suddenly they both thrust in as far as they could, and Hide felt them leaning forward, pressing their faces together in a passionate kiss-

“Hide!”

Hide jerked and suddenly he was right next to and staring up at a blushing Haise’s face.

“Wha…” He croaked, throat still thick with sleep. Where was Kaneki? And weren’t they at Hide’s apartment? And why was he-

“Oh my god,” Hide whispered, burying his face in hands and trying to ignore the heat flashing through his cheeks and neck, “it happened again, oh my god.”

* * *

Haise moved back, Hide letting him untangle himself before pulling away slightly, the investigator still facing the blond. Now the both of them were flustered, Haise with his hand clutched over his rapidly beating heart, and Hide hiding his face in his hands.

_‘I stand corrected, he does remember.’_

“Y-you really scared me there” Haise laughed nervously, the small trill dying away as he  pulled his legs up a bit, trying to will away that uncomfortable semi-erection.

 **'** _If you want to see something really funny, ask what he dreamed about.’_

Haise's eyes widened, gaze drifting down to the blond's painfully obvious arousal, the investigator clearing his throat as butterflies started to flutter around in his stomach “How’s that funny?” He breathed, his own blush spreading to his ears and down his neck as he thought of the possibilities of just what Hide would have dreamed about.  
  
 _‘Last time it was fisting. I pretended I didn’t understand. The look on his face was pretty amusing. I’m kind of upset he never tried to explain it to me.'_  
  
Kaneki was really getting a kick out of this, it almost sounded as if the other was about to laugh, though Haise doubted that he had actually been this calm back when it happened to him. Kaneki hummed, muttering something about how he was younger, a little shyer, but that didn’t change how fun it was to mess with Hide from time to time.

“You’re the worst,”  Haise clicked his tongue, blushing furiously, not particularly caring if Hide could hear his uttered words or not. Hide was dreaming about fisting!? Haise didn’t even know what that was, but it did not sound nice. 

Kaneki smirked. _‘Ask Hide.’_  
  
The investigator shook his head, his pants getting a bit tighter as his mind wandered back to the topic of his human having a sexy dream, and he couldn’t help but sigh at the thought that it might have been about him. He was definitely staring, unashamedly running his eyes up and down Hide with curiosity, and a silent question.  
  
They were boyfriends... so, would it be okay... to…  
  
 _‘Oral isn’t off the table right?’_  
  
No... no it wasn’t…

_‘We should be able to handle that much.’_

Haise leaned his face in, placing his hand over Hide's hip, thumb just slightly pushing his shirt up.  
  
He really was going to ask him… not about ‘fisting’, but...  
  
“What were you dreaming about…”

* * *

“Err…” Hide sucked in a breath at the touch, and slowly peeked out from between his fingers. He wasn’t… No way… Haise wouldn’t do that with his kids in the house, this was probably just morbid curiosity.

Oh god, he really hoped Kaneki didn’t tell him about the first time. Or that stupid lie he’d spotted off about fisting… High school-aged Kaneki probably would have freaked hearing that his best friend had just had a sex dream starring the two of them clumsily making love for the first time, complete with happy giggling and extended breaks to kiss themselves breathless.

But then again, he was now sort of dating that same Kaneki…

“I, err, I had a dream...” He said, trailing off into a mumble, “...about blowing you.”

* * *

Haise audibly gulped, biting his lip, hand running down to press flat against Hides stomach. He could feel the others muscles trembling under his fingertips, abs rippling as he ever so gently dragged his nails down over his belly button, stopping only at the hem of his pants. 

“Yeah?” Haise leaned in even further, his nose clumsily bumping against Hide's as he touched his lips to the blond's, giving him a short and sweet kiss before asking, “Was i enjoying myself?”   
  
His fingers dipped past the waistline, wiggling their way into Hides boxers, Haise pressing another kiss to his chin.  
  
This was embarrassing as all else, and his voice was wavering from nervousness, but he was trying... Hide was always making the first move, so Haise figured why couldn’t he give it a try? He was no casanova, but Kaneki assured him he was doing fine, so the investigator continued.  
  
“Do you really like it…?” He inhaled deeply when he felt the tip of Hides dick brush his knuckles “...When I’m in your mouth… so much that you dream about it?”

* * *

“Mmm, yes,” Hide whispered, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s shoulder. God, he could still feel his face blaring red from embarrassment, but the way Haise seemed so nervous… It was really fucking adorable.

Hide felt his eyes draw downward to where Haise’s hand was fluttering at his waistband. He could feel his breathing quicken as it went deeper inside, touching the tip of his - “A _hh~_ ” he breathed, eyes fluttering shut.

“Yeah, you- I really like it. I like how you taste, I like the sounds you make, I love how I can feel it throb in my mouth when I swallow around you…”

Hide could feel his own member twitch at the sound of Haise taking in a sharp breath, and before he could think it over he found himself blurting, “and, Ka- Kaneki was there, he was… licking at my…"

* * *

 

At the mention of Kaneki, Haise went rigid, his hand going the extra mile to just go ahead and grab ahold of Hides throbbing member. The investigator shuttered, Kanekis soft moan echoing in his ears, Haise licking at Hides bottom lips before pressing a messy kiss to the others mouth. Slowly he started to stroke the blond, thumb pressing against his slit every now and then, smearing the precum that beaded there over the soft pearly head.

Haise moaned, his tongue darting past swollen lips, just barely touching Hide's own pink muscle before retreating.  
  
“Hmm,” the ghoul pulled back, quickly ducking his head under Hide's chin, biting where he felt the blond's pulse race fastest as he squeezed his shaft a little harder. “What-” He swallowed, blinking as his mind became fuzzy. Now was not the time... he had to concentrate.  
  
“What... was Kaneki licking?” he asked, voice just barely above a whisper.

* * *

Hide gasped as Haise’s hand drifted even lower, fingers wrapping around him. He could feel himself panting into the half-ghoul’s mouth, but he didn’t seem to mind if the way he started pumping Hide slowly was any indication.

Hide wrapped his arms tightly around his boyfriend’s neck, crushing them together. He couldn’t stop himself from thrusting his hips into Haise’s hand a bit.

“I- he was,” Hide swallowed, and tried to get a handle on himself. “He was, licking at my… my asshole… and then he, hmm, he started to fuck me, and you started to fuck my face-” 

* * *

_'Haise-’_

  
There was almost an audible snap, the investigator staring wide-eyed at a small hickey he’d made, Hide’s arms wrapping around him to crush them together. He couldn’t keep his kakugan from flaring to life, or the way he began to salivate.   
  
Haise lurched forward, pushing Hide to lay on his back, kissing feverishly down over his clothed chest. Haise pulled his hand free from the others pants, sliding down the blonds body, his shirt being pulled up the further he went down because Hide wouldn’t let go. He nosed at the faint happy trail, the little hairs tickling his face, Haise staring up at the other as he suddenly yanked his pants down to his knees. “And you liked it?” He was panting, not even looking at the swollen member bobbing beneath his chin, tilting his head ever so slightly so his lips brushed against the tip.  
  
“You liked it... when we fucked you from both ends” He opened his mouth, lips barely parted as a tongue came out to lick at the pre, preventing the salty bead of liquid from rolling down the underside of his dick.

* * *

Hide let out a low groan as he was pushed down onto his back. Abruptly remembering they were not alone in the house, Hide brought his hand up to his mouth. He just barely covered up his whimper as his erection was bared.

He couldn’t look away as that tongue flickered out, to just barely lap at his tip. And those gorgeous eyes blazing up at him in lust, one literally red with hunger… Hide’s cock twitched and he just barely managed to choke out, “Yeah… really like it, _hah_ , when you two… when you both…”

* * *

Haise sank down on to Hide's cock, enjoying how Hide couldn’t even speak, and relishing in the muffled moan he received when the other's dick pressed against the back of his throat. So Kaneki was fucking his ass, and he was buried in Hide's throat, and they both were pounding into him from either end-

Haise moaned, tongue vibrating against the head of Hide’s erection, a fair amount of drool dripping down his chin. Maybe it was a ghoul thing, Haise wasn't sure, but hell was it ever messy.  
  
“And? When we what Hide... describe how you felt,” He kissed down the large vein, noisily licking and sucking at the blond's testicles, all the while pushing Hide's pants further down his legs. “I wanna know... what it felt like.” His eyes were focused on Hide's face, watching him diligently as his expression twisted in pleasure.

* * *

Hide bit into his hand as Haise sucked his cock into his mouth, trying (and mostly failing) to hold down a moan through sheer force of biting power. That heat, that _tongue_ …

Hide let out a small whine when Haise pulled off his dick to speak. He just barely managed to focus despite his erection to speak. “I… _Hmm,_ I felt so good, _ah_ , being, being… between you two, wa… _hah_ , watching you k- kiss…”

* * *

Haise gave an appreciative suck, teasing the soft flesh with his teeth before dragging his tongue back up the side of Hide's dick, latching back on to the head once more. Haise could feel the pang of pleasure in his groin, a low groan rumbling deep in his chest, the thought of him and Kaneki kissing... oddly arousing.

 _‘Is it?’_  
  
Haise sucked vigorously, opening his mouth every now and then to gasp and pant, gulping down air before popping the leaking head back in his mouth. Inside he could feel warm hands trail up his neck and down his chest, Kaneki peering in to his mind's eye with an intensity no child should have.  
  
 _‘Do you want to kiss me?’_  
  
Haise plunged down on to Hide, clenching his fists as he swallowed constantly, forcing his stomach to calm even as the blond's dick sank past his tonsils. He could feel him in his throat, muscles constricting around that thick erection, tongue twitching.  
  
 _‘I think it would be hard with you choking on Hide like that...’_  
  
Haises vision blurred, the investigator begging Kaneki to focus, to stop encouraging his sexual appetite…  
  
And would he quit it with the baby face, it was really off putting when he was trying to blow Hide here….  
  
 _‘Suck harder, Haise.’_ Kaneki ignored him, Haise's body moving on its own as he curled over Hide completely, nose and lips crushing against the bed of hair by the base of the blond's cock, the investigator no longer able to breath as he practically milked Hide for all his worth.

* * *

Hide had to fight his hips from snapping up into Haise’s mouth as he began to tease his twitching member. He was having a hard time muffling his noises as well, his moans sounding far too loud to his human ears, and his heavy panting echoing through the room.

When Haise finally sank down all the way on his dick, Hide couldn’t stop himself from throwing his head back in a silent cry of pleasure, feeling the way his throat swallowed around him, that warmth tightening…

Hide came with a loud noise, feeling that warmth crush him with pleasure. After a few seconds of basking in pleasure, Hide had to nudge Haise off his dick. Sitting up, he groped the tent in Haise’s pants and grinned lazily.

“So what about you, huh? What do you like about sucking me off?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MFA: *whispers* Kaneki will _never know_ the truth about the "fisting" dream.


	16. Chapter 16

Even after Hide climaxed he continued sucking, swallowing over and over again as the blond rode out his orgasm, and finally had to pry him off his dick. The investigator blinked, Hide suddenly so close, his tongue slowly coming out to lick at the mess left on his lips. What did he like about sucking Hide off?  
  
“ _You taste good._ ” Haise winced, the pressure in his pants only made worse by the palming Hide was doing, the half-ghoul not even caring that it hadn’t even been him to reply…  
  
He found his arm sluggishly moving up to lazily wrap around Hide's neck, fingers burying themselves in the other's hair as he pulled him closer, kissing him almost desperately. He could barely keep the connection of their lips going, having to break it off every few seconds to gasp, the tiniest moans escaping him.  
  
“Hide…” Haise spoke now, Kaneki wrapping his arms around his waist a hungry mouth sending tingles down his physical body... the snowy haired man's body... was no longer small. It was identical to his own…  
  
“Hide-” he grit his teeth, blinking his watery eyes as he stared down at the hand gripping him through his pants. “-I like it... when you cum in my throat... even though I want a mouthful.” He thrust his hips forward a bit, pulling the others hair a little tighter as he felt his concentration slipping.

* * *

Hide kissed back, smiling at the tiny gasps Haise kept releasing. God damn, his noises were so sexy. His dick twitched weakly in response, but Hide ignored it in favor of slipping his hand inside the waistband of Haise’s pajamas. “Hmm, then maybe I should make you eat my cum more often, huh?” Hide’s hand snaked into the half-ghoul’s boxers to lightly touch at the leaking slit, the sensitive skin just beneath the head of his cock.

“Maybe I should grab that pretty hair of yours and use it to hold you in place while I fuck your throat. And then pull you off so you only taste just the tip as I cum all over your tongue-”

Hide winced, abruptly recalling their last encounter. “Sorry, too much?”

* * *

Haise felt his dick jump in Hide's hand, his body quaking from those heaven sent words that left the blond's mouth, mouth watering at the thought. That had to be a ghoul thing, there was no way a normal person would produce so much spit upon thinking of eating someone's semen... and there was no way a human could taste Hide the way Haise could…

  
Haise leaned forward, kissing and sucking at Hide's chin, sloppily moving down his jaw as he rolled his hips into the blond's hand. He was panting hard, hand pulling hard on the others hair, forcing Hide to fall back as he straddled him.   
  
He couldn’t even form words, pupils blown out as he thrust into Hide's firm grip, his own free hand shaking into his pajamas to grope and massage at those boney knuckles. Despite his erratic breathing, his movements were slow, and his voice was coming out a bit louder with each quick moan.  
  
Kanekis mouth hovered over his navel, licking and biting, Haise crying out in to the abyss that surrounded them. He could feel those fingers on digging into his thighs, and that hot tongue lapping at his swollen cock head, and - jesus! -Kaneki was sucking him, taking just the tip in his mouth, staring up with a lustful gaze… Haise was just relieved they weren’t white... blind... and that tongue had no legs- yes, this is what he wanted.  
  
“Hide-” He could feel his back squirm, nails digging into Hide's scalp in an attempt to hold on. “Noooo,” he cooed in the human's ear, a pleasured grin splitting on to his face. “- _Juuuuust riiiight._ ”

* * *

Hide was suddenly being pressed back into the bed with a gasp. Reaching further into Haise’s underwear, he wrapped his hand around Haise’s cock, pumping him even as the half-ghoul began making delicious noises and gasps, right into his ear.

And then that pleasured reassurance… Hide moved his head to lick and suckle at Haise’s neck, squeezing his fist tighter.

* * *

Haise's movements became jerky and uncoordinated, dick pulsing as Hide grasped him more firmly, the precum still helping him thrust smoothly into the blond's hold, only with how tight he was making it for him... Haise was having a bit more trouble.

Not that he hated it.  
  
He opened his mouth, a moan bubbling up his throat, the only sound that managed to draw out was a lewd growl from the ghoul. His chest was rumbling, teeth clenched as he sucked back spit, the action completely useless given the amount of drool that was leaking on to Hide's neck.  
  
He wanted to bite-taste... bite-  
  
Hides mouth was on him, sucking just under his jaw, then down to his pulse. “Hiiiiiiiiiiiiideeeeeeeee-” Haise breathily moaned in the blond's ear, cock tingling as it twitched in Hide's hand, cum shooting out in the next moment. Haise launched his face in to the pillow, biting into the fabric as he moaned, hips shaking as he released.  
  
This was getting harder... what was it about Hide that made him so... so primal.   
  
‘ _Because I get caught up… as well._ ’ Kaneki lifted his head, licking his lips as he ran his hands up the investigator's thighs, Haise physically twitching in response to the invisible hands. He continued to lazily move his hips, his member softening in Hide's hand, cum coating both him and those talented fingers. His chest was crushed against Hide' s, the half-ghoul spitting out a few feathers as he drew away from the torn pillow, glancing sideways at Hide with his kakugan still fully activated.  
  
“Good morning…” His voice wavered, still uneven from having held back his screams.  
  
 _‘...’good’ morning is a bit of an understatement._ ’ Kaneki laughed.

* * *

Hide laughed softly and continued kissing Haise’s neck, still gently stroking him. “Mmm, a very good morning indeed. Kinda wish all my mornings started so good.”  

As the ghoul spat another feather right in Hide’s face, the blond laughed and finally released Haise’s limp cock. “Hah, I can’t decide if I should make an Edward Cullen joke or a gay sex joke. Probably both since you are literally not human and just had some pretty fucking gay sex.”

Hide captured his boyfriend’s lips in a slow kiss, before pulling back and making a face. “Okay we really need to brush our teeth now, and take a shower. I’m covered in sweat from just now _and_ last night and I feel so gross. Of course,” Hide smiled playfully as he sat up, “you are welcome to join me in both…”

* * *

Haise licked his lips, reaching up to wipe away the spit running down his chin, blushing as Hide kissed his cheek. Haise wasn’t exactly sure who edward cullen was, or what the whole ‘gay joke’ was suppose to be, but obviously Kaneki got it because he let out an exasperated sigh.

  
Maybe the investigator didn’t want to know…  
  
‘ _You don’t._ ’  
  
Well that settled that then, didn’t it.  
  
Haise groaned, missing the warmth of Hides hand in his pants, but he was more than happy with the kiss given to him instead. He was about to lean in, just when Hide pulled away, a small frown pulling at his lips as the other said they should brush their teeth.

The investigator cringed. 

  
That was one of his least favourite parts of the day.   
  
“I’ll... let you go first” He pushed himself up and off Hide, laying on his side as he laid his head in his pillow. Towels are on the rack behind the door…”

* * *

Twenty minutes later Hide exited the the bathroom, clad only in a towel around his waist. Waving to a blushing Mutsuki (who immediately rushed downstairs), and reentering Haise’s room, the blond called out, “Shower’s yours!”. He tossed aside his towel and began rummaging through his bag for clothes.

Hmm, this shirt and underwear smelled clean, and those jeans matched everything… Hide wrinkled his nose at the small white paper bag next to his suitcase as he dressed. Bluh, if he got sick again after it wore off he would be sorely tempted to just throw it out and tell the doctor it hadn’t worked for him…

Sighing, he grabbed the pill bottle, shook one out, and headed downstairs to scrounge up some food to take it with.

* * *

Haise hadn’t taken long at all to shower. He stood under the hot spray of water for a good ten minutes, scrubbing at his sex-scented body, trying to wash away the musky smell. The last thing he did was condition his hair, leaving the shower to stare hatefully down at his tooth brush and the ‘unflavoured’ toothpaste.

  
Unflavoured his ass.  
  
‘ _Your breath smells like dick, put up with it._ ’  
  
Haise choked, leaning on the counter.  
  
\- - - -  - - - - - - - - - -  - -  
  
Haise meandered downstairs, looking over to see Hide sitting beside Saiko, the girl shovelling cereal in to her mouth. Hide was a little calmer about eating his food, then again, Haise didn’t miss the glassy look in his eyes.  
  
“Hide…” He neared the table, Mutsuki looking up from his book from over on the couch to say a quick good morning “Good morning-” he smiled, quickly looking back to Hide again “You took your medicine already?"

* * *

Hide carefully spooned his cereal into his mouth. Goddamn, when did sugary cardboard delight start tasting so amazing.

“Well, I guess it wouldn’t be slightly technically mostly not inaccurate to say that I might have,” the blond said, gazing off into the distance and smiling vaguely.

Saiko snorted into her cereal. “Oh my god, Papa, I literally just saw you take it like ten minutes ago,”

Hide hummed, carefully brought another spoonful to his mouth, and focused on Saiko again. “What am I taking now?”

“ _Papa._ ”

* * *

Haise smiled tentatively, ruffling Hide's still damp hair, fingers trailing down to his cheek for the briefest of seconds before the investigator headed to the kitchen for coffee.

“I have to present a case today, so I wont be back 'till six,” He hummed, grabbing the instant coffee given he really didn't have much time before he had to leave “Saiko, you’re on babysitting duty. Don’t fall asleep.” He turned to give her a pointed stare, the girl straightening up in her seat as she exaggeratedly wiped the sleep out of her eyes.  
  
“And you,” Haise looked to Hide “Try and be an adult...don’t do anything stupid…”  
  
He was full on mama mode right now, and he didn’t even care.  
  
“I don’t want to come home to you bleeding out on the floor, or find that you’ve burned the house down…”  
  
‘ _Get Mutsuki to come check on them?’_  
  
“Mutsuki…” Haise smiled kindly “If you could come home a bit early and check on them? You’re familiar with the bus right?”  
  
The dark-skinned boy nodded. “Yeah, I can do that”

* * *

At Haise’s remark, Hide pointed at himself with an affronted look. Hide had been to war, man! He’d seen things! He was the best at being an adult!

“I promise only to try.” _I am going to clean, and cook dinner, and not reveal_ any _more personal information to Saiko. Haise is going to be so impressed when he gets home…_

“So, what time should we be expecting you, Tooru?” Hide said brightly, turning to Mutsuki.

“Ah, around three or so… assuming the bus doesn’t run late,” The boy replied nervously.

_Perfect, that should give me plenty of time._

“So, I guess Maman was pretty hungry this morning?” Saiko piped up suddenly, smiling a touch too widely for it to be innocent.

“Uh…” Hide said, confused. He was pretty sure this was going somewhere dirty, but he couldn't quite figure out-

“Because it looks like he decided to take a bite out of _you_ ,” She laughed, gesturing at Hide’s neck and shoulder.

_Damn. Well, ⅔ isn’t too bad…_

* * *

Haise froze, holding his cup of coffee nervously to his lips, slowly turning around to see Saiko pointing at the few angry red marks littering Hide's skin. He knew her hearing was good, but they hardly made any noise, at least Hide didn’t... Haise... well the whole experience for him was a bit fuzzy…

He was thankful that she was only referring to the hickies.  
  
The fridge hummed, setting to work on cooling its contents as Haise opened the door, leaning in to grab a small container or assorted fruit. He shut the door with his hip, making his way over to the table to place the fruit down between the two cereal eaters.  
  
“People can kiss someone they love right?” Haise smiled nervously, putting a hand on Hides shoulder. It took a few seconds for him to register what he’d said, Saiko staring back at him owlishly, mouth making a small ‘o’.  
  
He chose not to correct himself, eyes widening as a blush spread over his cheeks “-Mutsuki! Did you eat breakfast?”   
  
“Yes! I had toast with some of that new jam you got. It was really good” The boy stood as Haise hurriedly walked to the door, following after him, shoes already on “Are we going now? It’s a bit early-”  
  
“It’s fine, I have to prepare my report for Arim-Oh! Saiko!” Haise turned on his heel, yanking his coat over his shoulders “There’s money under the flour jar by the stove. Food and emergencies. Got it?” He pointed at her, smiling when she nodded, a melon slice hanging out of her mouth.  
  
“Good. I’ll be back around eight or nine!” He waved, leaving with Mutsuki trailing not far behind.

* * *

As Haise left, Hide smiled goofily and made a heart with his hands, enjoying the red flush it caused the investigator as he tore out of the house.

Once they were out of sight, Hide turned to the container of fruit and pulled it close, carefully selecting a strawberry to nibble on.

“So,” Saiko began, “... are we gonna talk about that? Or are we just going to play some more yaoi games?”

“Second one,” Hide said cheerily, picking up another strawberry.

\--

A few hours later, Hide twisted himself upside down on the couch and threw a hand across his eyes. “I’m boooorrreeed.”

Saiko balked. “How can you be bored when there is yaoi on the screen?”

“My _life_ is a yaoi. And after a while this stuff isn’t sexy, it’s just rapey and creepy.”

The blue-haired girl sighed and put down her DS. She should have known that babysitting wasn’t going to be that easy. “Ok then, if you don’t want to do that, then what do you want to do, Papa?”

“... Adult things,”

“What, you mean like having-”

“No, I mean, to remind him that I am not a child.”

“Oh, well that’s easy,” Saiko grinned, “just go buy a sex toy. Can’t get much more adult than that.”

 

Hide slowly sat up and turned to face Saiko, awestruck. “... Brilliant.”

\--

“I’m home,” Mutsuki called, checking the time. 3:07. Right on schedule. Looking around, he noticed a small pile of candies on the kitchen table. Walking closer, he noticed they had a rather… Odd shape.

Oh… _oh god_.

_Why are there dick-shaped gummies on the kitchen table… And what is that giggling noise coming from the bathroom???_

* * *

Haise stared out the window, Akira sitting beside him as she flipped through a folder in the meeting room. He wondered how Hide and Saiko were today. His phone vibrated around 4:15, but he was unable to pick it up, so he could only assume that Mutsuki must have called. Hopefully it wasn't anything too serious. If it was, he knew all the emergency numbers.

  
“That went well,” He muttered, the woman clicking her tongue before silently sending him a look, as if saying things could have been worse. “We’re no closer to finding this ‘caretaker’ than we were a week ago.”  
  
“We just need to work harder then don’t we. The bar is open till 12 tonight, so why don’t i take you for a drink?” Her smile was a bit too...kind. It unnerved him.  
  
“I actually... have to get home tonight.”  
  
“Hmm?” He raised a delicate eyebrow, leaning in a little. “Why’s that?”  
  
“Ah-er….I have to do paperwork...and i haven't slept well recently…”  
  
That was a lie, he got the best sleep in Hide's arms.   
  
“Well...In that case, it’s getting late. You should head home. I’ll file these away for you”  
  
“T-thank you!”  
  
\- -  - - - - - -  -  
  
Haise opened the door, not even getting it closed behind him as Mutsuki rushed up to him, Shirazu's arms emerging from over the back of the couch, the blond pulling himself from his laid back position to grin over to the mentor.  
  
“WAit till you see it!” Shirazu barked, laughing whole-heartedly as Mutsuki raised his hands.  
  
“I tried to call you…”   
  
Haise moved past the dark skinned boy, staring over horrified at the his boyfriend sitting at the table, sporting a mop of bright purple hair and chewing on what he could only assume to be penis candies.  
  
“ _What did you do…_ ”

* * *

Hide nibbled on his gummi, frowning. That’s weird. These didn’t look much like gummi bears at all. They looked kind of like the dick gummis he’d bought at the sex shop. But he had hidden those under Haise’s bed, so what were these doing out…

“ _What. did. you. do._ ” Haise’s voice cooly rang out, sending a chill down Hide’s spine.

“Oh, hey! Haha, so I know this might look kinda bad, but I can explain.” Hide pointed at his hair and grinned lasciviously. “Fuckin' sexy, am I right?”

“Rest in peace, you,” Saiko whispered from her hiding spot behind the couch.

Haise’s head turned to face her. “What part of make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid _did you not comprehend_? You let Hide dye his hair, which could take weeks for him to grow out-”

“Wha- _Maman_! Do you think I’m totally irresponsible?” Saiko stood up, affronted, “It’s temporary! It will fade in two to three washes, I made sure of that before we checked out!”

Squinting at the gummi in his hand, Hide absently said, “I don’t know what you guys are talking about, my hair looks awesome. I think I’ll dye it this color from now on-”

* * *

“-Don’t even think about it.” Haise hung his coat up, kicking off his shoes before carelessly swiping them over to where everyone else's was. With an uncanny grace he walked over to Hide, curling his hand under the other's arm before forcefully pulling him to stand.

“If you hear screaming, there’s no need to call the cops.” Haise sent a look over to the three quinx, Mutuski gulping nervously while Saiko made a little praying motion. Shirazu groaned from the couch at their mentors ‘dark humor’ because where he was sure Haise was joking... there was also the slight chance that he wasn’t.  
  
“And these-” the investigator picked the bag of penis gummies off the table. “...” He didn’t even know what to say, and instead opted to begin dragging the blonde upstairs.  
  
Hide put up a bit of a fight, but he was nothing against his ghoul strength, and in truth Haise felt a bit bad for ‘manhandling’ him… but not enough to stop.  
  
Gently now he released him, pushing Hide inside the bathroom before following close behind “Take off your clothes, or you’re going in with them” Haise rolled up his sleeves one by one, before reaching up to undo his tie, tossing it to the sink where he’s put the bag of gummy dicks down. “We’re washing as much of that out as possible.” He now undid the top two buttons to his dress shirt before reaching for Hide, finding the blond just wasn’t undressed fast enough for his liking.  
  
Having purple hair really wasn’t /that/ big of a deal when he thought about it, and yes, Hide always looked attractive... But he had work. The only job Haise ever had was with the CCG, and he know if _he_ showed up with crazy hair one day _someone would pitch a fit_.

* * *

Hide opened his mouth to make a dirty joke, but before he could Haise wrenched him out of his seat and dragged him upstairs. “Hey- ow, watch it, what are you-”

Hide stumbled into the bathroom, but managed to catch himself on the counter.

This was… not exactly what he’d pictured Haise’s reaction would be. Although on second thought, sex on the kitchen counter wasn’t a very realistic expectation to begin with. It was a pretty fun fantasy, though. It began with Haise… rolling up his sleeves and tossing his tie aside… commanding Hide to strip for him… and unbuttoning his shirt...

Huh. Hurriedly Hide lifted his shirt, immediately entangling himself within it. _Okay, elbow does not go through that hole, elbow goes out… wait, fuck…_

“Help, I’m stuck.”

* * *

Haise sighed, gently pulling at Hides arm, twisting it a bit so it gave way to the shirt. The investigator threw it to the floor, all the while focused entirely on the other's face, making eye contact as he firmly placed his hands over Hide's hips.

“Do you need help with those, or do you think you’re okay?” His voice was low. Not in a sexy way, but impatient; dry and humorless.  
‘ _You’re never gonna get in his pants like that.’_

Before Hide could even answer his fingers were hooking in to his pants, turning them so he could pull the blond over to the tub, the investigator sitting him down on the edge before letting go to lean over and turn on the water, muttering a quiet, “Shut up.”

“I’m fi-” Hide’s answer was lost in a gasp as he was suddenly pushed to a sitting position. “Oho, oh no you don’t,” Hide crowed, hastily unbuckling his belt and pushing down his boxers and pants as quickly as he could. “Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me three times, and I will knee someone in the jewels. And I mean it this time, Kaneki!”

Once he was fully divested of his clothing (which took a bit longer than anticipated due to his sitting position), Hide pouted. “Why are you even doing this. My daughter told you that it would wash out soon enough, and I took a week off work. I have like-” Hide did a bit of mental arithmetic. “Uhhh… days before I have to go anywhere. Look at how _cool_ it is.” Hide grabbed Haise’s hand and brought it to his hair in a petting motion.

* * *

Kaneki said nothing at Hides remark, Haise sending a questioning look to the used-to-be-blond, His fingers curling into the purple hair. It was still soft, though a bit plasticy feeling... he'd just have to scrub extra hard.

  
“It’s... not that bad.” Haise admitted, now petting the other's head himself, not really paying attention to the fact Hide was completely naked. “... I still liked your blond hair better.” He sighed, moving so he could grab ahold of Hide's legs, and like he was helping some old person, he lifted them one at a time in to the tub, ending with a gentle shove that landed Hide in the pool of water with a splash.

* * *

Hide pouted fiercely and crossed his arms, refusing to move like a stubborn child. Probably because he was very stubborn, and in fact, a child.

“Hide,” Haise sighed, annoyed.

“Haise,” Hide mimicked, like the child he was and always will be.

Hide spluttered as Haise dunks him under the faucet as punishment.

“WITNESS ME!” Hide yelled when he was brought up for breath, almost but not quite managing to cover up the sound of the doorbell ringing.

* * *

Haise sat at the tub's edge, focused on Hide, yelling over his shoulder for someone to get the door. The investigator rolled up his pants to his knees, swinging his own legs in so he could easily reach to grab the shampoo. He held Hide still, hand firmly gripping his jaw as he squirted the soap on to the top of his head, gently setting the bottle back down beside him. 

‘ _Haise-_ ’  
  
He ignored Kaneki, Immediately setting to work on scrubbing Hide's hair, lathering up purple locks until the suds themselves turned violet; Haise frowning as he realised his finger tips would probably turn a vibrant shade as well.  
  
After a few seconds of washing his boyfriend, the blond rolling his head with the circular motion his fingers were doing to his scalp, a knock sounding from the bathroom door. He blinked, not looking back, shoulders freezing as Kaneki spoke up again.  
  
‘ _Who would be at the door at this hour._ ’  
  
“Shit” Haise swallowed, looking down at Hide with wide eyes, hands trembling. Who would it be… the CCG? Who else would come see him?! They were going to find Hide!  
  
“O-one second!!!”

* * *

“Uhh…” Saiko stared in shock at the figure in the doorway.

“Well?” the brunnette smiled and tilted his head, waving the book and papers sandwiched in his hand. “Are you going to let me in? Akira is going to be really mad if I forget to deliver these again!”

“Uh, you, uhh-”

“Special class Suzuya!” Mutsuki called out from the living room and rushed to the front door. “W-What are you doing here? Did something happen? Is everyone okay?”

“Calm down!” The investigator laughed, and shuffled past the two concerned Quinxes. “I’m just here to deliver something. Hey Sasaki! I brought you a present~!”

* * *

Haise quickly got to his feet, drying his hands off on a fluffy blue towel on the counter (The same one he was going to use to dry off Hide), quickly moving to the bathroom door. He stared back at Hide, making a small motion with his finger, shushing the blond as he wiped soap off his face.

  
Hesitantly he opened the door, peering through the crack to stare at passive urie, his heart slowing down at the relief. Urie blinked slowly, the smell of soap wafting out of the bathroom, the quinx staring down at the strangely coloured bubbles splattered over his mentors cheeks and shirt.  
  
“I can hold it…(hurry up)” he turned to leave, glancing to the side as feet thumping against stairs could be heard.  
  
“Haise!”  
  
The investigator froze again, heart jumping out of his chest as he leaned out the door, Juuzou happily walking down the hall towards them. A nervous looking Mutsuki trailed not too far behind him/  
  
“A-Ah! Special clas-”  
  
“-I brought you something!” Haise quickly exited the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him, praying to god that Hide would just stay in the tub.  
  
“Oh? What would that be” he smiled nervously, holding out his slightly damp hands, the shorter ccg agent practically skipping up to him. This guy had no boundaries, he should have just waited downstairs…

* * *

Hide stuck his tongue out at the investigator and, just to continue being petulant, splashed some water on the floor. Take THAT, adulthood. Now Hide was sitting in a tub of dark water by himself, idly scratching at his arm.

“Next time,” he said aloud, “just do the pubes and eyebrows. Something permanent… Firetruck red, maybe.”

Deciding that he’d had enough of bath time, Hide stared at the last remaining white towel. Years of bleaching his hair blond had taught him very well what could happen if he used it. If someone were to, say, want to get revenge on a neatfreak like Kaneki/Haise…

Hide shook his head. He wasn't that evil. With a sigh he pulled the plug and watched the water drain for a bit before turning on the tap and washing the soap off himself.

Unfortunately, he was so focused on the task that he forgot about the soapy water he’d splashed on the floor earlier. When he rose and stepped out of the tub, the no-longer blond slipped and fell with a loud curse.

Outside the bathroom, Juuzou blinked. “Who was that? I thought only the Quinx lived here.”

* * *

Haise could hear faint splashing and the movement of water, though he was sure Juuzou couldn’t hear, so that was good at least. 

That was until his idiot boyfriend climbed out of the tub and slipped, creating a very loud thunk, and yelling out a rather inappropriate word.   
  
“O-oh um... It’s... a friend?” Haise glared at the door, his smile turning a bit scary. "N-nothing really! I was helping him... umm -oh,”  
  
 _‘Just a friend? Even Juuzou would know you don't take baths with friends... unless you’re like six…’_  
  
“He dyed his hair! it was the wrong color, and I was helping him... correct it!” Haise pressed a hand in to the smaller male's shoulder, leading him back to the kitchen. “Thank you for bringing me-”  
  
“They don’t need help?” Juuzou looked behind them “Sounds like he hurt himself”  
  
“H-he’s fine!! I’m sure he’s fine! Why don’t we have some coffee?-and snacks!”  
  
The raven ‘whooped’, taking off ahead of him. Haise whipped his head towards Mutsuki as Urie watched on with mild interest.  
  
“Mutsuki, take care of Hide... please.”

* * *

Hide lay on the floor for a few moments, cursing his life. Damn, there probably wouldn’t be any sexy times for him tonight, or at least none that require movement from him anyway. And he’d been so looking forward to showing off his new purchase… Which reminded him that hey, Haise threw his gummis in the sink! Rude!

Tugging down the towel, Hide stood and reached for his candy just as the door clicked open. Tooru peeked in, covering his eyes with his hand. “Mister Hideyoshi...? Are you okay…?”

Hide grabned his candy and nodded, forgetting that Tooru couldn’t see him. After a few awkwardly silent moments, he realized his mistake. “No, I’m fine. And I’m decent.” Hide ignored Tooru’s whispered, “thank god” and instead brandished a gummi with a flourish. “These are the only dicks to be seen here, and luckily they _probably_ won’t turn you gay.”

Mutsuki paled in mortification. “You, umm, you should probably get dressed now, Mr. Hideyoshi…”

 

Hide nodded and exited the bathroom with his gummis. For the first time in a long while, he heard a familiar voice. “Oh hey, that’s-”

“Special class Suzuya Juuzou!” Saiko said with a grin, eyeing Hide appreciatively. “Damn, Maman. Not bad.”

Hide mock posed and entered Haise’s room. Actually, barring some unforeseen circumstance, this could prove the perfect opportunity to show off the cute outift he’d purchased from the sex shop (which, coincidentally, also matched the second pair of panties, though considering last time he decided to leave that one a surprise. The fact they also match his new hair was an added bonus).

Hide fished the shopping bags out from underneath the bed- oh hey! So that’s where he put the Gummi bears! Which means that… oh no wonder Haise was angry- and carefully slipped on his new outfit, and crawled into bed.

* * *

“Hoooo-kay!” Juuzou's eyes narrowed as he peered around Haise to catch a glance of the purple haired man, the lower investigator patting his shoulder before urging him downstairs.

“I have your favourite!-I made-”  
  
“That’s okay! I came at a bad time it seems!” His grin cracked across his face, from one ear to the other, and Haise shivered. “I’ll take those snacks to go, though~”  
  
Oh god he was going to tell someone about this. Haise wasn’t sure who, but Juuzou wasn't just going to keep this to himself.  
  
“O-of course!”  
  
\- - - - -  - -  
  
After a good ten minutes of Shirazu jokingly asking Haise if he drowned Hide, and Saiko teasing him about his rather disheveled look, Haise decided that he’d had enough. Mutsuki innocently watched, smiling every now and then at the mentor's bright red face, stifling his laughter behind his hand as it was insinuated that Hide had managed to take off his shirt for him.  
  
“Saiko- really.” He frowned, quickly making his way up the stairs. “Hide!-” He called out, the blue haired girl laughing away with Shirazu. “Hide- you better still be alive”  
  
Though upon entering the bathroom he found that there was no naked man in the tub, and a few wet footprints led away to his room.  
  
“Get to bed on time!” Haise yelled down the hall, Shirazu responding with a loud, ‘Sure thing!’ Mutsuki following up with a softer ‘Yes, Sasaki!’  
  
“Hide-” Haise opened his bedroom door, staring over at the bed with what one would call a ‘dead gaze’. “What are you doing... there’s colored water staining my pillow…”

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun story: about mid-way through chapter 15, I noticed a weird gap like a couple of paragraphs were missing.
> 
> I read through it closely, and sure enough there were about three missing.  
> I hurriedly re-wrote them from memory, and forgot about it.
> 
> Fast forward to mid-way through editing this sex scene (well... sex chapter, really...), and they start talking about morning sickness mid rimjob lmao
> 
>  
> 
> **So if you read chapter 15 before 9/26/14 the "morning sickness"/shoulda used a condom bit is now slightly different.**

“What? No there isn’t!” Hide cried, drawing up the blanket to hide himself and twisting back to look. “Damn. Did I forget to rinse my hair…?”

Haise sighed. “Hide…” Grabbing the abandoned towel, the investigator walked over to the bed and began roughly drying his boyfriend’s hair.

Hide allowed this without complaint, seemingly biding his time. Once the towel was removed, he smiled up mischievously. “You know… hair dye isn’t the only thing I bought today…” He dropped the blanket to reveal a blouse and criminally short skirt.

* * *

Haise rubbed away, sighing as he figured trying to explain to hide how dyed wet hair can still rub off on things would only make the blond more rebellious, and considering he was apparently already making Hide feel like a child…

  
Blinking, Haise stared down at the outfit, eyes wide and mouth twisted into a frown.  
  
“What…” He licked his lips, searching Hides face for any clue as to why he was wearing a schoolgirl uniform. Sure he looked good in it, but _why_ was the real question Haise wanted to know here.  
  
 _‘It’s... supposed to be sexy.’_  
  
“Is it?” He sounded a little confused, answering Kaneki with a bewildered whisper. The investigator tugged the blanket away, staring down at all of Hide displayed before him, swallowing nervously. Hide was already attractive as it was, and in that school uniform he was just as hot, but Haise still-”I don’t get it..."  
  
 _‘Oh my god.’_

* * *

Hide frowned. Don’t get it. Don’t _get_ it. What did that mean _what did that even mean_.

“Err, okay then, if it’s not your thing I understand, I’m pretty sure I can return it… Haha, I guess it was a bit unreasonable for me to expect you to be into it without asking first, I just figured since you seemed to enjoy the panties so much... ”

* * *

And there it was. It clicked.

 _‘Finally.’_  
  
It wasn’t about function or a fashion statement, but like the panties it was something to be considered sexually.  
  
‘ _I told you it was supposed to be sexy.’_  
  
Haise bit his lip, stepping closer, hands moving press against his Hide's shoulders. "Hide-” He moved to sit beside the other, arms circling around him as he brought him closer for a delicate kiss. The clothes were nice really, they were, though even Kaneki couldn’t deny that they both preferred him without any clothes at all. “It looks really good.” He tried to mend his mistake, feeling that he may have hurt the other's feelings, or maybe offended him in some way. “You look so good,” His hand slid up in to purple locks, pulling gently as he gave yet another gentle kiss.  
  
He was aroused at the thought of undressing Hide in general, and the thought of just running his hands up that skirt... having easy access to- _oh_ … panties were understandably sexy, but now Haise was _really_ starting to understand.  
  
 _‘Yeah, now you’re getting it.’_  
  
“Hide,” He deepened the kiss, hesitantly licking at the other's lip, that familiar fuzz seeping in.

* * *

Hide was too busy staring down into his lap in embarrassment, fumbling with the hem of his skirt to see it click, but he definitely got an inkling that his reaction was mistaken as Haise sat down and pressed his hands and lips onto him.

Hide’s eyes fluttered closed at the next gentle kiss, but still the uncomfortable twist in his stomach remained.

“It’s okay,” He whispered, feeling himself flush even deeper. “Really, if you don’t want to you don’t have to-” His words were cut off with a soft call of his name, a tightening of the fingers in his hair, and a harder press against his lips.

At the feel of the investigator’s tongue, Hide’s mouth automatically parted to let him in, tasting him. Hide let out a low moan as he felt certain area throb weakly to life. Hide’s hands found their way to Haise’s shoulders, curling tighter with each brush of their tongues.

* * *

Haise jumped at the acceptance, pushing back against Hide, trying to soothe the anxious fluttering of his heart. Maybe he should have kept his musings to himself, asked why in his head, because Hide was being a bit withdrawn. 

‘ _Well, yeah...imagine if you wore something to try and seem appealing, and then Hide just stared at you like you had two he-_ ’  
  
“I got it,” Haise almost whined, pleading for Kaneki to just be quiet and let him try to make up for his mistake, halfheartedly joking that every guy had two heads.  
  
 _‘Oh my god.’_  
  
Haise smiled a little as he pushed forward, the hand that wasn’t buried in brightly-colored hair sliding down Hides back, circling around just at his hip. He dipped his tongue into Hides mouth one last time, removing his mouth to lay little butterfly kisses down over the humans chin.  
  
“I don't want this to be… like with the underwear.” He found his lips trembling, eyes hooded as he buried his head in to the crook of Hides neck “I can’t... go that far... I could just barely hold on this morning,” He slid his hand back up Hide's stomach, not daring go further down. “I can’t have wild... crazy sex with you, even if I want to.” He leaned back, smiling at Hide nervously, eyes stinging. “I don’t mean to hurt your feelings. I’m just trying my best... not to think about... those sorts of activities…”

* * *

“I know,” Hide said, curling his arms around Haise’s head. “You aren’t hurting my feelings. I do these things because I like them, and I think you might enjoy them too. It doesn’t have to get wild and crazy. In fact,” Hide gently nudged Haise up so he could lock eyes and smile, “I think slow and sensual is pretty underrated for how awesome it usually is.”

The former blond gently pressed Haise into the mattress and peppered his face and nose with kisses, before moving to slowly kiss at his neck and begin unbuttoning his shirt.

“If it’s okay…” Hide said, almost trying to smother the words against his lover’s neck, “I’d like to try fingering you. But don’t worry, the first time is not usually as… dramatic as I make it out to be.”

* * *

Haise welcomed the kisses, relaxing into the bed, stomach fluttering as the thought of what Hide's words entailed. Slow and sensual? Jesus, Haise could feel his pants getting tighter, biting his lip as he did his best to fight the haze. That was honest, and straightforward and-

  
“You…” he swallowed, lashes fluttering as the others lips pressed against his throat, Haise bringing his hands up to run over Hide's shoulders. “You want…” he was having trouble speaking, Kaneki impatiently telling him that he’d be fine.  
  
Haise wasn’t scared it would hurt, far from it, in fact he was sort of excited that Hide wanted to do that to him. Haise was still worried about control, and after that muffled request washed over his ear, he couldn’t help the fog that clouded his thoughts.  
  
“You can... do whatever you want to me.” He buried his nose in Hide's hair, lips pressing against the blond's temple in a gentle kiss. Slow and sensual would be new... considering everything else they’d done had been a tad rushed... pleasure driven... _a little out of hand_.   
  
“-I guess we won't be needing my own fingers,” Haise joked, voice barely above a whisper, the investigator thinking back to his text a few days ago about strictly oral and hands regarding their sex life…  
  
One day, maybe that could change.  
  
 _‘We’ll figure it out- but for now, hurry up and tell Hide to do it, your pants are getting way to tight- it’s painful...'_

Haise smiled a bit, letting out a breathy laugh against Hides cheek now, kissing his way over the blond's ear. For the first time, without being asked, Haise told Hide what the white-haired ghoul was saying. “Kaneki’s impatient. I guess you should demonstrate what slow and sensual means... because I don’t think he gets it.”

* * *

Hide hummed at Haise’s agreement, and began kissing Haise’s neck. Pausing to finish unbuttoning Haise’s shirt, Hide kissed and sucked a hickey just below Haise’s adam apple.

When the last button finally came free, he slowly nudged Haise’s shirt open and continued kissing downward. Hide lay soft butterfly kisses at the nape of his lover’s neck, the collarbone, and down the muscles of his chest to the hardening bud of his nipple.

Bringing his other hand up to lightly rub at the other one, Hide opened his mouth to lap at the first, feeling it wrinkle and harden even more at the stimulation.

When Haise spoke, Hide’s response was a low chuckle. “Well, we could try using your fingers… but I kinda want to do it myself…” Hide kissed Haise’s nipple and gently closed his teeth around it, pulling back at Haise’s moan. Pressing one last kiss to the nip nop, Hide whispered, “I’m gonna drive you wild.”

Slowly, he began kissing down Haise’s stomach, teasingly stopping at the waist of his boyfriend’s pants. “Is he getting the picture now?” Hide slide his hands down Haise’s sides achingly slowly, and kissed the tent in his pants. “I can always go slower…”

* * *

Haise closes his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Hide's mouth on him, pulling his arms way to lay them on either side of his head. His lips were slightly parted, gasping softly as teeth sank in to his nipple.

Hide pulled away, Haise shivering as the blond's hands slowly ran over his quivering stomach, lips just barely grazing his flesh before coming to press a gentle kiss to the tight bulge in his pants. Drive him wild? He moaned softly at the pang of arousal rocketing through him, hips rolling in an attempt to relieve some pressure.   
  
‘ _Hide-_ ’  
  
Kaneki sounded impatient, out of breath- ”He’s definitely... turned on.” Haise swallowed, blinking as Kaneki cursed. “We’re both... loving this…” His lips quirked up in to a small smile, the investigator propping himself up on his elbows now “...just don’t... drive me too crazy.”

* * *

Hide smirked and made a show of licking the tent of Haise’s pants. “I won’t, don’t worry… Now, you take those,” he gestured towards Haise’s pants, “off, while I get the lube…”

The blond shuffled off the bed and almost stumbled in his dash towards his bag. Not the front left pocket, not the main portion, but… ha! the “hidden” pocket in the back! Lube acquired, Hide turned toward the bed to see his boyfriend struggling to remove his pants. Hide smothered a snicker and sashayed his way to the bed, enjoying the way his skirt twisted and flowed with his movements.

Once the pants were off, Hide climbed onto the bed and pressed a soft kiss to Haise’s leg, travelling up and along it until he reached his crotch… where he kissed a line underneath his penis and down his taint, flicking his tongue against his hole...

* * *

Haise nodded as Hide got up to find lubrication, the investigator biting his lip as he tried to rid himself of his pants maybe a bit too quickly, the fabric getting caught on his ankles. He was a little nervous, he couldn’t lie, and as Hide practically skipped back to the bed in that cute outfit (when did he start thinking it was cute?) he could feel a lump lodge itself in his throat.

Hide leaned over him, mouthing just under his cock, then further down, until the investigator froze at the feeling of the blond's tongue pressing against his entrance. Now he was definitely a bit nervous, but he trusted Hide, and the other always seemed to enjoy it... so it couldn’t be bad right? It was just a bit scary because he hadn’t done it before.  
  
 _‘It’s not a bad feeling.’_ Kaneki reassured him, Haise wondering just how the white-haired man knew that. _‘Because... I’ve-never mind’_  
  
“Tell me…” Haise breathed, pushing his hips forward, cock jumping in excitement as he watched and felt Hide push his tongue inside ever so slightly. “Ah-”  
  
 _‘I’ve done it. You need to relieve stress somehow right? You get the better deal here, because you get Hide to actually do it for you.’_ Kaneki spoke fast, a little annoyed and embarrassed.  
  
Haise whimpered, thinking about how Kaneki must have shoved his fingers deep inside... How maybe he’d end up doing it as he thought of Hide. “-Fuck.” he watched as a bead of pre-cum drip on to his stomach, fingers gripping the sheets.

* * *

Hide traced the sensitive rim, listening to Haise’s breath quicken in response. Now now… slow… and sensual… He thought, backing off from the rim to lick up his taint again.

Hide flipped open the cap of lube and squirted into his palm, rubbing it in to warm it with his body heat. Once his boyfriend’s breathing had calmed, he carefully pressed a single finger against his hole and traced the rim again, wetting it and feeling it twitch from stimulation.

Hide traced a vein along the bottom of Haise’s cock with his tongue as he lubed up a finger and pressed it slowly into his hole.

At Haise’s gasp, Hide removed his finger, relubed it, and pressed it inside up to his knuckle.

Letting out a warm breath against the investigator’s cock, Hide whispered, “How do you like that, huh? Tell me how it feels… Having me inside you…”

* * *

 

Haise watched with narrowed eyes, lips parted as he softly gasped to himself, sheets wrinkling as he began to tug on them. Just when he thought Hide was going to push his tongue inside, the blond pulled away, a small whine escaping him from the loss.   
  
Before he could even request the other do it again, a finger was tracing his rim, his eyes widening. Hide pushed it inside ever so slightly, the lube just a little chilly, before pulling it out again. Haise grit his teeth, Hide teasing his cock as his finger sank back inside, spreading more lube around and inside him.  
  
Embarrassingly, the feeling of his finger wasn’t as hot as Hide asking what it felt like, Haise tightening around the digit at the blonds whispered words.

 _‘Because it’s not deep enough yet.’_  
  
Haise choked at Kaneki's soft moan, a hand coming up to cover his mouth, torso twisting so he could balance on his one arm.  
  
“Deeper?” he wasn’t sure if it was a question for Hide to push inside him more, or if it was him trying to get assurance from the white-haired ghoul.

* * *

Hide smiled. Oh, Haise and his reactions were so… _adorable_. It made Hide’s dick harden just thinking about what he’d look like when he found _that_ spot…

The former blond pressed another kiss to the base of Haise’s cock, and slowly pressed his finger deeper inside. To try and disctract him from the pain of being penetrated, Hide licked up a vein to the tip and his boyfriend’s cock and lapped at the liquid beading at his head.

Once the precum was gone, he kissed and wrapped his lips around the head, just as his finger fully penetrated his ass.

Ever so slowly, he withdrew his finger, twisting and swirling around until he felt a certain raised bump of flesh. _Found it._

* * *

Haise winced at the odd feeling, toes curling as Hide sheathed his finger up to the knuckle inside him, all the while his tongue ran up the underside of his cock before coming to suck on the tip. His fingers trembled, pressing against his lips in an attempt to hide and muffle his panting, not too keen on letting Saiko hear what he was up to (where ever she was). 

Slowly Hide withdrew his finger, thrusting it back inside, wiggling it until Haise jerked back, eyes watering as something inside him sent a literal zing firing off to all his nerves.  
  
His brows furrowed, hips tingling, that strange feeling of having something foreign in his ass no longer really bugging him.  
  
“Again,” He pleaded through parted fingers, pushing back onto Hide's hand.

* * *

Hide smirked at Haise’s eagerness, and withdrew his finger to trace the rim of his entrance again. Popping his mouth off the head of his lover’s cock, Hide flashed a mischievous smile up at his panting boyfriend. “More? So demanding. Didn’t I tell you-” He pressed his finger back in, just up to the fingernail, “-that I was going to show you-” He blew a cool breath on the leaking cock, “-slow and sensual…”

* * *

Haise held his breath, swallowing a low moan that tried to escape, missing the feeling of Hides finger almost immediately. Hide said it wouldn’t be as intense the first time, so the investigator was wondering what it felt like after your body was used to it, because this was amazing…

 _‘Well... it’s not new for you... not your body.’_  
  
“Holy shit-” Haise's brow furrowed, voice raising an octave as his dick twitched from the treatment, a gasp the last thing to escape him mouth before his fingers pushed into his mouth without warning. They pressed down on his tongue, Haise biting the digits before they could go to the back of his throat, cursing at Kaneki to warn him before trying to make him gag.  
  
 _‘You’re making too much noise!’_

  
“Mhmm-” He hummed around his fingers, locking eyes with Hide, hand shaking as he fought Kaneki.   
  
_‘Just relax-’_

* * *

Hide fought down a smile at Haise’s reaction and began slowly thrusting his finger, occasionally moving to rub against the knot of tissue just to see him tremble. “You are so cute like this, fighting down the noises you make.”

Hide kissed the head of his cock again and slowly lapped at the liquid beading at the tip. “I’m going to put in another finger, if you think you can handle that…”

* * *

Haise could feel his face heat up even more, a deep red hue taking over the faint flush that spread over his cheeks, the fingers in his mouth wiggling just slightly. His chest vibrated with a small sound of appreciation, lifting his hips a little to meet Hide's mouth, eyes rolling back into his head at the feeling of his hot tongue running over the tip of his leaking cock. And that finger-stroking something inside that made him-

A drawn out moan escaped him, the heel of his palm suddenly pushing up under his chin, forcing him to bite his fingers.  
  
“-Ahow!”   
  
_‘Do something about your voice!’_  
  
Haise growled in annoyance, thinking that there really was no point. Saiko would hear him anyway, and there wasn’t any use to try and hide his voice from Hide. If Kaneki would kindly give him his hand back before Haise sent them both to cool off in a cold shower, that would be great-  
  
 _‘Fine then.’_ His hand fell away, Haise gasping as he now dug his fingers back into the sheets, the familiar sound of tearing fabric reaching his ears.  
  
“Oh _fuck yes..._ ”

* * *

Hide dropped a hand down to fondle at himself at the breathy moan Haise made. Damn was it hard not to take the image of Haise fucking himself on Hide’s hand, and turning it into the half-ghoul riding his cock and biting his lip in pleasure…

Hide gave himself a squeeze and withdrew his finger to wet a second one with high fructose porn syrup. Teasingly slowly he traced the twitching rim of Haise’s hole with his two fingers, listening to him gasp at the cool liquid against his warmth.

“Open up wide for the choo-choo train,” Hide singsonged, and buried his two fingers in Haise’s ass while at the same time sinking his mouth down on his dick.

Bobbing up and down quickly on Haise’s cock, Hide’s fingers still, twitching occasionally to rub against his prostate.

* * *

Haise choked, fingers ramming themselves through the sheets and into the mattress, the investigator mentally cursing at himself for ruining another bed. Truth be told he almost lost his boner from Hide spouting that shit about a train, but the heat surrounding him now was blinding, and the fingers pushing deep inside were curling and twitching against his prostate.

“F-fuck!” He rolled on to his shoulder, arm trapped between his side and the bed, thrusting his hips up a little as the blond sucked him vigorously. His eyes were wide, blurring with pleasured tears as he wiggled his hips down, kakugan flaring up as his prostate was hit once more.  
  
An incredibly lewd sound escaped him, the knot getting so tight in his stomach, his hand pulling and tugging at the springs as they cracked and snapped in his grip. “Hide, I-” He could feel his orgasm swiftly approaching, that pleasure crazed smile splitting his face once more as he stared down at Hide, kagune squirming in his back, “Hide... Hideee-” It was sweet and subdued, Haise's mind clouding over completely. “I’m... gonna cum-”  
  
Kaneki's arms wound around his neck, mouth pressed against his ear. _‘Imagine how deep his dick would be-’_  
  
“Hide!-” his smile was broken, mouth opening in a silent scream, saliva dripping down his chin and  on to his collar bone. He was shaking, clawing at his thoughts, desperately trying to gain control as he released in Hide's mouth. Haise was gasping, blinking away the tears and the haze with surprise. The hand that was previously knuckle deep in springs coming up to brush purple hair out of brown eyes, the ghoul's lips moving on their own. “Drink it all up Hide…”

* * *

Hide felt his eyes flutter shut as he focused on the lewd gasps, the twitching and pulsing cock in his mouth, the tenting cloth enclosing his hardened erection, the tightness squeezing around his fingers… Hide couldn’t hold back a low moan that rumbled down through Haise’s cock.

It gave the noticeable twitch which Hide was beginning to know well and he swallowed deeper around it, feeling it throb and empty itself down his throat.

Hide pulled off Haise’s dick with a soft pop and twitched his fingers to rub against his sensitive prostate.

“Can you imagine me fucking you? I keep on thinking about how you’d look sitting pretty on my dick and riding it until you cum just from me fucking you…”

* * *

Hide still teased his prostate, moving his fingers ever so slightly to make the investigator jolt, his nerves still on fire as they came down from his orgasm. He almost wished he continued to let that lustful haze drive him, because the thought of penetrating himself on Hide's dick was just a bit to much to handle, and all the blood ended up rushing to his head. Haise threw his arms up, hands covering his face as he lay his head back against the sheets, body still twitching.

  
“ _Oh god._ ” His kakugan wasn’t fading, chest continuing to rise and fall at a hurried pace, his blush running all the way down his neck. “I can _imagine_ alright” he whispered, Kaneki laying soft kisses over his cheeks, fingers soothingly running down his back.  
  
‘ _We’d finally know what it’s like to be filled up, right Hais_ e?’  
  
The investigator nodded, moaning at Kaneki's low tone, pushing his hips back on Hide's hand for a second before pulling back. “Full... we’d be full?” He let his hands fall from his face, looking down at Hide between his legs with that smile threatening to pull it his lips again. “What would that feel like?”

* * *

Hide chuckled at Haise’s embarrassed reaction, and again when he conferred with Kaneki. He began slowly sliding his fingers in and out.

“It feels… amazing. Just imagine something thick and warm thrusting inside you, and the cum leaking out of you feels so nice…” Hide grinned mischieviously and gave a particularly hard thrust of his fingers against Haise’s prostate.

Hide pressed a feather soft kiss to Haise’s hardening dick and scissored his fingers, stretching him slightly before setting a slow and steady pace for thrusting his fingers..

* * *

“O-oh-” Haise moaned, lashes fluttering as he thrust himself back against Hides fingers, licking his lip as he tightened around those fingers.

Kaneki pressed flush against him, hands confidently running down over his front, the touch sending tingles down his physical body, just like last time. Haise panted, his smile returning for a split second before another moan seeped past his lips. “Oh... I…” He arched his back, crying softly as those fingers stretched and twisted inside him.  
  
Fuck the rules! What happened happened!  
  
 _‘Haise-’_  
  
“I want that. I want that- I want it- I want you- Hide... give it to me.”

* * *

Hide let out a low moan and slipped a hand underneath his skirt and boxers to pump himself. The thought of entering Haise, feeling that hot wet hole tighten around him… _Fuck._

 

 **** _But last time_ , a tiny thought niggled at the back of his brain, _don’t let it be like last time or you’ll **never trust yourself to sex him up again.**_

 

With a groan Hide backed off the bed, nudged his skirt and boxers down, and furiously began pumping himself with his lubed-up fingers.

“Hi- Hide…” Haise gasped, visibly clenching from the feeling of emptiness. Without a word, Hide pulled Haise’s legs closer, and reached for his abandoned lube to wet his lover’s thighs.

“I don’t have to stick it in you,” Hide whispered, laying his leaking cock just underneath the investigator’s, and then lightly guiding his thighs to shut around it, “... to show you what it feels like to get fucked.”

With that, Hide began fucking the gap in Haise’s thighs roughly, his hands clenched bruisingly tight around his hips.

* * *

 

 ****“Hide!-” Haise's eyes narrowed, mouth hanging open as the blond lifted his legs, pressing down on his member before closing his thoughts over him. The investigator stared, his eyes watering from the loss of stimulation, frustration prickling at his nerves as he watched Hide pull back. The head of his cock almost disappeared  between his tightly pressed flesh, rubbing up on the underside of his own dick pleasantly before repeating the process.

He still missed the loss, but this was something completely different, and Haise definitely didn’t hate it.  
  
He could imagine what it would feel like, the half-ghoul pressing his thighs together even harder as he dreamily watched Hides face.   
  
He wanted to reach out and touch him, but he was too busy grabbing another fistful of sheets as Hide mock-fucked him, boring down on his member with each thrust.   
  
“Hide… yessssssss-” he gasped, gaze drifting down to their two cocks sliding against one another, sucking back drool as more threatened to leak out the side of his mouth “S-so….close!-” he grit his teeth, brows quirking, smile just barely visible as he gnashed his teeth, “H- harder- Hiiiiiide… Does it... feel good?”  
  
God the used-to-be blond was hot like this...

* * *

“Mmm… yeah,” Hide moaned, picking up the pace. “You... You’re so... _hmmm_ , you’re so tight-” The former blond could feel his cock begin to throb as his orgasm began to crest.

Shoving Haise’s thighs even closer together, Hide came with a whine and splattered Haise’s dick and stomach with his cum.

Hide stood there, panting for a long moment, riding out the warmth and fuzziness of his orgasm.

Slowly he cracked open his eyes and grinned lazily. Gently he parted the investigator’s legs, kneeled on the bed, and began lapping up his and Haise’s cum.

His jizz didn’t taste the best, but it would be rude to leave his boyfriend all dirty like that…

* * *

Haise convulsed, watching with bleary eyes as his boyfriend roughly fucked his thighs, his skin starting to go a bit numb. Every time the saw Hides dick leak, he wanted to lick it up, suck on him until there was nothing left to give.

He stared at Hide with an intense desire, tears leaking down his face as the pleasure overwhelmed him, his own orgasm wracking his body as he watched Hide cum. Hide was out of breath, and he wanted to smother his face in kisses, bite and suck at his neck...taste…  
  
Was this always going to be a regular thing? Lusting and hungering for his boyfriends flesh every time they fucked? Having this twisted smile on his face as he came and basked in the afterglow….and his hands making fucking holes in mattresses.  
  
His back squirmed, the investigator still jerking every now and then as he embraced the last few moments of his climax, gritting his teeth now as he willed himself to gain control.  
  
“Hideee,” He keened, fingers running through purple hair as the other lapped at his stomach with a hot tongue, Haise blinking slowly in an attempt to focus.  
  
_‘Haise... you did better than this morning at least.’_  
  
He did…  
  
His grin turned lazy, propping himself up to run his hand over Hide's neck, tilting the other's head back as he came to sit up fully. In a split second his mouth was on Hide's, tongue scooping past cum stained lips to suck what ever remnants there were of the white substance out of his mouth. He could taste himself, but there was also Hide, and the fact that he just spooned it out of the human's mouth with his tongue made a pleasant flutter rise in his stomach.   
  
That turned out better than expected.   
  
He didn’t rip off his boyfriend's head, or impale him with kagune, or take a bite... any day that didn’t happen was a good day. A positive experience really… and he got to see a side of Hide he didn't usually see. That screwed up expression as he thrust himself between his thighs, the sheer force of his hips that met the back of his legs with each pounding that told him Hide wasn’t doing it all too lightly, and now, Haise would have to admit -“The schoolgirl outfit... is kinda hot…”

* * *

Hide parted his lips with a gasp as Haise pulled him forward for a kiss. To his surprise, Haise went for the cum still sitting on his  tongue, tasting and swallowing it with a pleased sigh.

Hide could only stare as Haise looked at him with those hooded eyes and, of all things, complimented his outfit.

Despite everything they had just done that night, the human could feel his face flush with embarrassment. Carefully he slipped off the bed again, and fumbled for his skirt, pulling it back on. “Yeah, well… I look sexy in everything, haha. It’s not my fault it took you a little while to realize it.” Hide shuffled his way back onto the bed and Haise, stopping to straddle his hips and lean down for a slow kiss.

* * *

Hide was blushing. Haise found it absolutely adorable, smiling kindly as the purple-haired man straddled his hips. He laid back with a sigh, reaching up to yank Hide down with him, pulling the other down for another kiss as he basked in the afterglow. 

“I never said I didn’t think you were sexy from the start,” He blinked sleepily, lips brushing against Hide's. “I was just a bit confused… and- wait,” He pushed the other up a bit, blinking as his brows furrowed in confusion. “Where did you even get this… and those penis gummies…”

* * *

“Sex shop!” Hide said in a singsong voice, grinning. The human nosed his way along Haise’s jaw, punctuating his words with soft kisses. “I was going to get a toy, like a dildo or a vibrator or something, but the outfit was already pretty expensive and all the cheap ones seemed like they wouldn’t be, uh, _sturdy_ enough, considering…”

Hide laughed softly into the lobe of his boyfriend’s ear and pushed himself up an inch or two to nibble on it softly. “I got the gummies because I was hungry, and I’m pretty sure I got some normal ones… oh well…”

He slowly kissed his way back along Haise’s jaw to his lips and absorbed himself in a slow kiss for a time.

* * *

Haise rested his hands over his boyfriend's hips, tilting his head slightly to give the other better access, a small appreciative sound vibrating in his chest as Hide came back around to give him a long slow kiss. Haise kissed back, humming contently, his whole body tingling.

His hands slowly ran up Hide's sides, pulling his lips away to lay his own smooches along the former blond's jaw, lazily licking and sucking over his pulse before deciding to leave a faint hickey.  
  
“So... you’re in to that sort of stuff?”  
  
Haise had never actually seen a sex toy before, but he definitely knew what a dildo was. Thinking about it now... Haise thought that maybe Hide had come up with a brilliant solution to their little sex problem.  
  
 _‘You’re not buying a dildo.’_  
  
“Why not?” Haise snorted, laughing for a second before catching himself. Kaneki's tone had been so dry.

* * *

Hide smiled into Haise’s jaw. “Haven’t you figured it out yet? I am a mega kinky freak. I am into _all the stuff._ ”

 **** The former blond felt hands run down his hips to graze against his skirt and he could not help but wiggle as Haise groped a quick feel.

 **** “Why not what? C’mon, you can’t leave me hanging, here,” Hide laughed, and softly nibbled a mark into Haise’s neck. Absently Hide wondered if his boyfriend would get some comments from Juuzou later on. Doubtful; the Juuzou he knew never would have made the connection that something untoward was happening, and even if he did he couldn’t give less of a shit about the goings-on of a random coworker.

Shaking away that thought, Hide licked lovingly at the mark he’d made. “Wait, is Kaneki offering to buy me a present?” He dropped a kiss onto the wet spot. “You should, I promise I’ll make it worth your while…” 

* * *

Kaneki's cheeks dusted pink, and Haise laughed in response, the happy sound turning into small giggles as Hide made a mark on his neck. He didn’t pay too much mind to it. 

  
“Actually, he’s the one saying no,” the investigator grinned, reaching around to grab two handfuls of Hide's butt. “I’m the one thinking it could... fix our problem.”  
  
 _'It's way to embarrassing. Have you ever been in a sex shop?'_  
  
“Have you?” Haise countered quietly, not caring that Hide could hear him, “...You did have that kink mask, didn’t you?” The investigator teased, Kaneki frowning.  
  
“Help me convince him-"

* * *

Hide snorted loudly into Haise’s neck. “Oh my god, I remember that mask! No offense Kaneki, but when I saw it for the first time my first thought was, ‘Why is my crush dressed like a gimp?’ and then, ‘... And why does that not make him any less attractive?’ and it was all down hill from there. The start of darkness, if you will. Or start of kinkiness, anyway,” Hide giggled at the last bit, and sat up, grabbing Haise’s hands and pressing them back against his chest.

“Ok, I think I have a fun game that will help decide the matter,” Hide cooed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (told ya they switched)
> 
> Outtakes (aka MFA/Thea thought of a great line ages afterwards and must share):
> 
> haise: “I can’t have wild... crazy sex with you, even if I want to.”  
> hide: :|  
> hide: what on earth do you think we've been doing these past few weeks, knitting?


	18. Chapter 18

The blond smiled mischievously. “It’s called, ‘Keep your hands off me until I make you cum’. If you touch me, I win, and we get to go shopping for a sex toy together. If you win, then I might have to insist on starting up the sexting thing again so I can show you how fun my toys at home can be…”

As he spoke, Hide reached for and uncapped with lube with an ominously loud click, and began slowly slicking up Haise’s thickening cock.

* * *

Haise laughed, throwing his head black gleefully as he Kaneki muttered something about Haise still having the mask stashed away somewhere, the investigator suggesting that perhaps they bring it out for a little surprise later on.

Kaneki said nothing, so that could’ve only meant yes, right?  
  
Haise shuddered, his grin turning into a lazy smile, nodding numbly as he stared entranced at the hand on his dick. He was amazed by his own stamina, because in seconds he was already throbbing in Hide's grip, thrusting his hips up lazily.  
  
“Do I just talk you to oragasm?” he wondered absentmindedly, not exactly sure how he was suppose to make the other cum without touching him.  
  
 _‘Hide…?_ ’ Kaneki sounded unsure, voice tinged with both curiosity and worry, Haise wondering what was wrong only to receive a quick,  _‘We’ll see...’_

* * *

“Nope,” Hide said, popping his ‘p’ dramatically. “You just sit back and let me do my thing and try not to jizz yourself to soon.” Hide lifted his hips and inched forward, dropping his skirt down over their erections to hide them from view.

Reaching under his skirt, he wrapped a hand around their members and gave them a slow pump. “Haha… Although, actually, I guess jizzing yourself early might come in handy… D, don’t worry though, I’ll be more than happy to give you a hand with that…”

Hide used one hand to pump them together slowly, savoring the feel of Haise’s cock against his, but he couldn’t stop himself from licking his lips at the thought of finally getting down to taste him…

“But d- don’t worry, I’m not _all_ talk, babe… So why don’t you hurry and… shut me up…” With those words Hide released them and slipped off the bed once again, this time dropping to his knees.

His eyes flickered up to Haise’s as he positioned the dick where he wanted it, then achingly slowly stuck out his tongue to lap at the precum beading at his tip.

With feather-light touches of his tongue, Hide traced the veins of Haise’s dick, the quickly disappearing folds of loose skin as his boyfriend got harder and harder, before finally dragging his head up to mouth at the tip.

Locking hooded eyes with his lover, Hide blew a warm breath onto the head of his penis, and reached down to fondle himself through his skirt.

* * *

Haise moaned, Hide's breathy words doing more to him than he would like to admit, the other slowly sinking down between his legs once more. Haise's hips ached from the pleasure, licking his lips in frustration, the investigator clicking his tongue.

He found it a little unfair really, Hide was doing all the work here, and Haise was just laying back, enjoying the ride. He swallowed thickly, watching the other with a furrowed brow, grinning slightly as Kaneki suggested something, specifically telling Haise to say that it was his request.  
  
“Hey Hide… Kaneki says you should crawl over us,“ He held his hands up, stretching his arms out to lay across the mattress. “We won’t touch you, just use this…” with his final words he opened his mouth wide, tongue hanging out, the tip curling suggestively.   
  
_‘I never even knew he liked to suck dick this much... so much lost time in highschool.'_

* * *

The former blond smiled and laughed breathily. “Oh my god, the internet was right. A clean desk really is a sign of a dirty mind.” Sliding his hand up Haise’s cock, Hide squeezed lightly and thumbed the leaking slit, spreading the precum around nicely.

 **** _Well_ , he considered, pumping himself, _I could continue teasing him, or I could throw him a bone…_

Making his decision, Hide climbed up, swung his hip over his boyfriend, and inched backward, positioning his own cock to wet Haise’s tongue with his precum.

“Remember,” He purred, lowering his head to complete the sixty-nine, “No touching…”

* * *

Haise hummed, watching with narrowed eyes as the other climb back up on top of him, this time sticking his ass up and out towards him. 

The investigator laid there, smiling to himself as Kaneki muttered about Hide being stupid, mouth opening once again as Hide's dripping cock was presented before him.   
  
“No touching,” Haise repeated, wiggling his fingers playfully before bravely licking up the underside of Hide's dick and back down again, tongue lapping at the pearly head before coaxing it into his mouth.   
  
Slowly and gently he began bobbing his head, lifting his head to take more of his boyfriend in, cheeks hollowing as he suddenly gave a powerful suck.

* * *

Hide involuntarily clenched his eyes shut and panted as Haise sucked him in.

Unable to stop himself, he slowly began lifting and lowering his hips, trying to force himself deeper inside.

After a few moments of this, Hide pried his eyes open, firmly grasped the base of Haise’s cock, and sank his mouth down upon it. Stopping just shy of his throat, Hide opened his lips slightly and suctioned his cheeks around the member.

Once he heard Haise emit a satisfyingly loud noise from at that, Hide pulled away and began his teasing torture again, just barely licking hard enough to be felt, spreading warm spit all over the ghoul’s throbbing dick…

* * *

Haise closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Hide's mouth on him, taking him in to the point where he was tempted to just thrust up and bury himself in the other's throat. He was patient though, not to mention he was a bit too focused on the dick in his own mouth.

With a small whimper Haise lifted his head from the bed, sucking Hide to the back of his throat, fisting the sheets as he tried not to choke. The former blond had been so focused on pleasuring him, Haise really didn’t want to half-ass this.   
  
He pulled his hips down from Hide's mouth slightly, shuddering at the tongue spreading spit over his tip, a moan vibrating over his boyfriend's dick as he thrust in and out of his mouth. The fact that the other was doing this to him in the first place was making pleasured little shivers run up his spine.  
  
“-Hide,” Haise turned his head away, gasping before biting and sucking on Hide's inner thigh, “Do it... however you like,” Haise messily kissed down the back of the throbbing cock before him, stopping just before the head, “Don’t hold back…”  
  
 _‘Getting brave, there.’_

* * *

Hide moaned lowly at Haise’s words. “You think I'm holding back…? Fuck no, I am going to _earn the fuck out of that dildo_ , so help me god…”

Hide raised his hip so that his dick hung tortuously (for him, anyway) out of reach of his boyfriend’s mouth and lapped slowly at his weeping cock.

The former blond pressed his lips against the head in a mock kiss, before opening his lips again and sinking down, swallowing around him…

* * *

Haise raised his head more, tongue _just barely_ reaching Hide's dick, a strangled gasp escaping him as he was suddenly engulfed in warmth. 

Haise bit down on his bottom lip, eyes fixated on Hide's length, eyes tearing up as his boyfriend sucked furiously around him. “Then-” Haise licked the blood from his lip, fingers untangling themselves from the sheets before grabbing at the blond's ass. “-I’ll get you one, just… fuck my mouth-” Haise swallowed, forcing the other to lower his hips. “I don’t wanna play games… I,” Haise swallowed sloppily licking at the leaking head, “-wanna taste you.”  
  
 _‘That was fast...’_ Kaneki muttered, knowing that they were probably going to end up in the sex shop anyway given Haise's... control problems. Even so, Kaneki didn't expect him to just go and say all _that_ to Hide…  
  
“-please,” He whimpered, fingers kneading the other's ass cheeks.

* * *

Hide didn’t register the true significance of Haise’s words for the longest moment, getting lost in the pleasure of sucking his boyfriend off.

Once the ghoul’s fingers dug a little to deep, however, Hide pulled off Haise’s dick to laugh triumphantly.

“Hah! You lost so that means I get a-” Hide’s crowing was interrupted as Haise jerked his hips up into Hide’s mouth and the former blond was lost in the pleasure of going down on his boyfriend, unable to stop his own hips from thrusting forward.

 **** _I'm going to get a vibrator,_ Hide vowed. _I am going to get a vibrator, and I am going to fuck Kaneki with it, and listen to him beg for me. But I am not going to give it to him. I am going to purposefully not hit his prostate, just listen to him plead for it…. I’ll show him the joys of having an electric dick shoved  up his ass, don’t you worry…_

Satisfied with his inner monologue, Hide firmly gripped the base of his boyfriend’s penis, milking him towards his mouth and throat.

* * *

Haise moaned, eyes clenching tight as Hide swallowed around him, milking his cock with his sinfully talented hands and mouth. Haise panted around the head of Hide's dick before taking a  deep breath, pulling the human's hips down until his nose pressed firmly into the other's balls, and the pearly head of his member slipped into his throat.

Haise was shaking from both pleasure and the taste... oh god- Haise could feel himself slipping, his eyes drooping, mouth sucking without relent.  
  
 _‘Just don’t bite him.’_  
  
No, Haise didn’t want to bite him, he wanted something much different... something a little thicker than blood.  
  
And like that he pulled Hide all the way down, suddenly deciding he no longer needed air at all, tears forming behind clenched eyelids as he furiously began swallowing around his boyfriend.  
  
He wasn't sure if that was a worried sound or an aroused sound, but Haise ignored it and continued going, thrusting his hips up in to Hide's mouth as a growl rumbled in his chest.

* * *

Hide’s dick throbbed as he whimpered around Haise’s cock, trying not to become overwhelmed as his dick was fully sheathed within Haise’s throat…

With a choked noise Hide took a breath and sank down on Haise, swallowing as he held his breath.

After seven seconds he rose, took a breath that no doubt suctioned his cheeks against the dick in his mouth, and sank down again, savoring the feeling of his boyfriend thrusting into his mouth, seemingly involuntarily

This time when his breath ran out, he pulled off the investigator’s dick entirely and began furiously pumping his throbbing member.

“You know what the first thing I’m going to get is? A vibrator. And I’ll hold it against your ass and turn up the vibrations until you beg me to fuck you. But I won’t. If you’re good I might shove it in your tight ass, rub against that spot that makes you scream, but I won’t let you cum.

I won’t let you cum until I see all the ways your face can twist up in pleasure as I fuck your ass six days ‘tll Sunday…”

* * *

Haise only came back for breath once, where Hide did it several times before pumping him vigorously. The investigator felt like he was going mad, his hips rolling in to those perfect, tight, fingers.

He couldn’t help but suck harder, swallowing around Hide like his gag reflex wasn’t even there, trying to consume him.   
  
When Hide spoke, Haise found his fingers moving on their own, nails dragging over that firm ass to grab at the pretty skirt. He moaned lowly, pulling off Hide's cock as he came, desperately licking at sucking at the leaking tip of his boyfriend's member, body shaking.   
  
“H- Hide!” He was drooling out the sides of his mouth, knees pressed tightly together, his dick still leaking little droplets of semen on to his stomach. “I.. wanna... Hi-” He could barely speak, voice hoarse, his nerves still on fire, “- taste... in my mouth.” He reached down the other's ass to grab the base of Hide's member, pumping him with quivering hands, “-cum.”

* * *

Hide clenched his eyes shut as semen coated his face. He couldn’t stop himself from licking his lips and tasting the cum on them, feeling Haise pumping his pulsing member furiously-

“You- you _slut_ , drink me up, take it all-” Hide jerked his hips roughly into Haise’s hand a few times, but it was not long before his dick throbbed, his balls swelled and he was jizzing in and on Haise’s mouth.

Hide collapsed, panting for a few long moments. Once his breath steadied, he sat up and wiped his face with his hand, casually licking his hand clean of Haise’s cum.

“So, I’m really fucking tired, how about you?”

* * *

Haise swallowed eagerly, moaning from the taste, and shivering at just how Hide spoke to him. He could really get used to that whole ‘dirty talk thing’. He did it too... Unintentionally, of course, because he really just wanted Hide to cum, but still.

"Ha-...ah-yeah…” Haise swallowed, licking his lips with a lazy content smile, the haze in his mind dulling fast. “I’m…” He wasn’t tired exactly... more spent in the sex kinda way. “I could go... for some sleep,” He shivered, staring at the remnants of his jizz on the other's face, swiping at the few globs on his own chin before sucking it off his fingers with an appreciative moan. “I don’t even wanna shower” 

Haise rolled over on to his side, arms winding around his boyfriend's waist, dragging him down none too gently to rest his head on Hide's stomach.

“That was great…” he sighed.  
  
 _‘And you only made two holes on the mattress.’_

* * *

Hide hummed happily and wrapped his arms around Haise’s shoulders. Already he could feel his eyes drifting shut, despite an urge to pee.

Fighting it down, Hide shut his eyes and felt himself falling asleep.

The next thing he knew, the sun was just barely peaking through Haise’s curtains and right onto his eyes.

Taking a mental inventory, Hide took stock of his condition. Bladder: full, stomach: empty, muscles: kinda sore, he may have overdone it last night. It especially hurt where he had fallen last night; with his luck, it was probably another fucking bruise.

Hide sighed softly and let his eyes wander around Haise’s room. It was so neat and orderly and… wait a minute. Was that… was that a poster of a…?

Hide remained silent as his boyfriend began to stir, only speaking once his eyes blinked open sleepily.

“Why the fuck do you have a poster of a banana in your room.”

* * *

Haise was curled around Hide, smiling to himself, basking in the peaceful embrace they shared. He could feel Hide move under him, Haise not ready to open his eyes yet, but he did anyway.

“Why the fuck do you have a poster of a banana in your room.”  
  
He blinked, eyes hooded as he stared over at the poster, shifting at the uncomfortable feeling in his ass.  
  
“I was with Saiko at one of her otaku stores…” He breathed, snuggling closer to the other, inhaling deeply. “I saw it and-” He stared up at Hide with a goofy smile “-found it appealing.”

* * *

“Oh my god,” Hide whispered. He moved down to nuzzle his nose into Haise’s hair. “I fucking love you. Hold onto your panties because I am about to smother you with love.”

Hide wiggled, peppering Haise’s hair, forehead, and finally face with butterfly kisses, while at the same time brushing his hands up and down his boyfriend’s sides, tickling him softly.

* * *

Haise smiled, reaching up to run his hands through Hide's hair, a small laugh slipping past his lips as the other's hands traced his sides. The investigator leaned his head back, his face heating, fingers lightly grazing his boyfriend's cheek. “I love you too…”

 _‘Hey....’_  
  
“So does Kaneki,” He bit the inside of his cheek, trying not to laugh at how childish the ghoul had sounded. “Are you... hungry?”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: this chapter inspired one of the most memorable convos in skype squad history (at least for me):  
> Thea: HELP NIRON WHAT CAN BE USED AS LUBE ON SHORT NOTICE WHEN YOU'RE IN THE SHOWER  
> (later on)  
> Thea: FUCK IT THEY'RE BRINGING LUBE IN WITH THEM NOW GDI MFA  
> Mfa: :3

Hide nuzzled Haise’s face a few more times and dropped a few more kisses to try and get his point across.

His response to Haise’s question was a giggle and a whispered, “Well, I’m _always_ a slut for your sausage… But right now I think it’s shower time...”

Hide gave his best pleading puppy-dogy eyes. “Shower sex, pleeease? We weren’t exactly quiet last night, so they’re probably- err, no wait scratch that, definitely- aware that we are bangin’...”

* * *

Haise choked at Hide’s sausage comment, looking away with a flush as the other carried on to say it was time for a shower. He did feel kind of gross, what with being covered in dried sweat and cum…

Shower sex.  
  
Haise's eyes widened, looking over to Hide incredulously, lips parted. They’d just done it like... three times last night! Sure it wasn’t all the way, but still, wasn’t Hide exhausted?  
  
“Are you even human?” Haise whispered, fighting away his blush as he sat up, scooting to the end of the bed. Haise didn’t want to think of his-”Oww!” He hissed, moving his thigh to see a spring sticking up out of the mattress. He’d have to flip it over... or get a new one…  
  
 _‘Just flip it. This side can be your designated sex side or something.’_  
  
“Geez…” He didn’t want to think about his Quinx hearing him get down and dirty with Hide... especially after he’d gotten so... _into it_ last night.

* * *

Hide stuck his tongue out as the ghoul investigator moved away. “I’m just going to ignore the irony of you asking me that and instead I’ll just say c’mmmmmoooonnnn. You know you want to, don’t even try to lie.”

Hide flushed and gestured to the torn holes in the bed. “I’m pretty sure _that_ is proof I’m not the only one here with a fucking _filthy_ mind.”

* * *

Haise rolled his eyes, tiredly running his hands over his face, freezing when Hide's tone dropped. He could feel his face heating rapidly, looking to the tears, then over his shoulder at Hide with hooded eyes.

“Filthy?” he repeated, his gaze darkening “...Alright, fine, shower sex it is” Haise stood, stretching before moving to his dresser to grab a loose graphic tee and some sweat pants. Today was an indoor ‘file your papers’ sort of day, so why not.

“C'mon Hide.” The investigator didn’t spare him a glance, smirking just slightly as he waved his hips a little, picking up the discarded lube bottle on the floor before walking towards the bedroom door. “Lets go have sex.”

* * *

Hide blinked and stared after his boyfriend, mouth hanging open. Despite what he’d said, he… really hadn’t expected Haise to change his mind.

Quickly Hide divested himself of his outfit from last night- hmm, he couldn’t tell if that dark spot on the skirt was lube or cum. Either way, it could probably use a wash- and leaped out of bed, rummaging around for a pair of old sweats.

Once he was… well, more decent, Hide quietly slunk his way out of the bedroom, trying not to look suspicious as he entered the steamy bathroom.

Raising his voice so it just barely echoed over the hiss of running water, he called, “Umm, Haise…?”

* * *

Haise stood up fully, kicking his pants off to render himself completely naked, his shirt thrown over the sink carelessly. His hand wandered over his collarbone, fingers pressing in to his shoulder, head turning to face the door as Hide entered the already steamy room.

When the former blond called his name nervously Haise smiled, Kaneki snorting from the lewd thoughts springing to mind.

With last night's semi-romp, the investigator felt invigorated, more in control. He was being brave here, getting more in to it, and even Kaneki seemed to have a better handle on things.

Maybe they were getting used to it.

"Hide," Haise closed the distance between them, running his hands over his boyfriend's hips, suddenly yanking them together "You're gonna help me get all these dirty things out of my head right?" He leaned in with a leer, Kaneki reciting to him what to say, slowly walking backwards as he dragged Hide along.

* * *

“Uhhh…..” was all Hide could manage. This was… ok, to be perfectly honest there was still a not-so-small part of him that had been half expecting a prank, and that he would end up, he didn't know, bleaching the towels or something, or that he would accidentally walk in on Mutsuki or something.

The only reaction his brain had to what was happening was entirely instinctual.

“.... Fuck yeah I will.” His eyes half-lidded as he pressed Haise against the wall with a desperate kiss.

When they broke apart to catch a breath, Hide purred, “I’ll try my… hardest to help you with that, but…” Hide grabbed Haise’s hands and pressed them against his ass. “... if the last few nights have taught me anything, it’s that sating you tends to only make you hungrier…”

* * *

The investigator felt completely in control, all powerful, and ever so sexy. He was a natural at this. With Kaneki's help of course, honestly he owed most of the sexy talk to him.

He wasn't expecting to be pushed up against a wall. He was rather enjoying having Hide gawk at him while he tried to seduce him, but with that sudden shove Haise gasped. He was quickly silenced by a passionate kiss, his head following after Hide when the former blond pulled away, trying to get more.

His growing erection was clearly visible, squished between the two of them, and it only got bigger as Hide spoke.

With a soft groan Haise squeezed the humans ass, ducking his head to attack the man's neck without mercy, licking and sucking without even thinking about how visible the marks would be.

"You're right," the investigator licked the line of Hide's ear, blowing on it soon after. "No matter how much you give me, I'm always starving."

He bit at his cheek lightly, nails dragging over his ass.

* * *

Hide’s soft laugh turned into a groan as Haise’s mouth began kissing at his neck.

“I… yeah…” He whispered, and slowly brought his own hands to rest at his boyfriend’s hips, and then down further at the lump he could feel against his leg…

Pressing his hand against the tenting erection, Hide brought his mouth to Haise’s jaw and pressed a kiss into it.

“You know….” The human whispered, “I believe I was promised shower sex….”

* * *

"That you were~" Haise replied in a heartbeat, still laying kisses all over Hide's neck, pushing the former blond off him gently. He was enjoying the hand on his dick, but he had more important things to worry about.

In an instant Haise tugged the human's sweats off, using his foot to step on the crotch as Hide pulled each leg out, the investigator hungrily looking down at the other's cock.

Slowly he lead Hide to the tub, pulling aside the curtain as he stepped inside, his boyfriends hand still in his as he joined him. Once under the spray, Haise wound a hand around the back of the others neck, pulling him in for a long sweet kiss, the action misleading in terms of what the ghoul had in mind.

"Prop yourself up against a wall, or face it... either one is fine," he whispered, lips brushing Hide's.

He wanted shower sex, well he was going to get it.

* * *

Hide gasped as his pants were pulled down, and felt his eyes close momentarily with pleasure as his own hardening erection sprung free.

His breathing quickly deepened to panting as he was lead to the shower. The warmth of the water felt amazing on his heated skin, and he swore he could almost feel it evaporating with heat at Haise’s command.

His breath hitched but his movements were fluid as he leaned against the wall and guided Haise’s hands to his ass and the back of his thighs.

God, he could hardly wait to see what his boyfriend had in mind...

* * *

Haise smiled as Hide led his hands around to his ass, squeezing the firm flesh, fingers and nails sliding along his skin from the water of the shower.

The investigator leaned in to plant a kiss on Hide's chin, laying kisses down his neck afterwards, then to his chest.

Kaneki was whispering in his ear, giving him ideas, Haise gasping as his mouth came to hover over one of Hides nipples. Quickly he bit down, not to hard, but just enough to draw a moan out of his boyfriend. Once he'd gotten what he wanted, Haise gave the nub an appreciative suck, humming before letting it go with a 'pop'.

"Kaneki," he laughed, a needy groan echoing in his head, looking up to Hide with a sultry gaze as he only went lower.

Carefully Haise kneeled, hands moving to grip Hide's hips so he wouldn't slip, his entire body now completely engulfed under the spray. His hair flattened completely and stuck to his face, water cascading down over his ashen lashes, and his lips.

In one fell swoop he latched on to Hide, hungrily sucking the human's cock in to his mouth, tongue roving over the head before gently prodding the slit.

* * *

Hide’s breathy gasps echoed against the tiled walls. His hands tangled in the investigator’s hair as he sank down to lick at his chest…

The wet sensation against his chest, the teeth around his hardening nub… Hide couldn’t help but let out a low moan at the stimulation.

All too quickly the sensation was gone. Hide’s protesting noise was quickly cut off, however, as Haise sank to his knees.

The human pressed a hand to his lips to muffle his whimper as Haise sucked up his cock.

Almost unconsciously, his hips move forward to go deeper, but Haise pressed him back against the wall.

Hide let out a low whine as he was forced to endure the sweetest torture of having his member lavished in attention but unable to do as he truly wished and bury himself in his boyfriend’s face.

Almost paradoxically, he found himself whispering for his boyfriend to, “Fuck me, fuck me hard, fuck me _proper_ , just _fuck me,_ ” Hide’s grip in the investigator’s hair tightened with one hand as the other smashed further against his mouth as if to stifle his cries.

* * *

Haise moaned at the harsh tug in his hair, pulling back to mouth the tip of Hide's dick before kissing and sucking down the underside, teeth nipping and pulling at what little loose skin was left. He relished in the delicious sounds Hide was making, staring up at the former blond with lustful eyes, his dick leaking with need from between his legs.

Haise brought his arms around to Hide's front, hands sliding down as the investigator scooted forward, ducking his head a little as he effortlessly hoisted one of Hide's legs in the air. Hide's back was curved, his butt now perfectly in view, and before Haise could stop himself he was prodding that tight little hole with his tongue. Haise nose was squished against the other's taint, eyes shutting tight as he felt Hide close around his tongue, the investigator trying to dig as deep as possible.

* * *

Hide’s legs spread farther apart as his gasps increased in volume, his hand a futile attempt in silencing them.

Despite being pressed against the wall, he still found himself moving as Haise moved further downward, to lick against his base, his taint…

Hide couldn’t suppress a loud whimper as Haise licked up and around his twitching hole.”Lube,” he found himself gasping, “I need- _fuck_ , lube, we need lube, _hah_ …”

* * *

Haise's hips rolled forward, though it did him no good, his precum dripping down between his legs only to be washed away in the next second. He thrust his tongue inside Hide, slowly and lovingly fucking the man as deep as he possibly could, only wishing he could reach further.  
  
Lube?  
  
Haise inhaled deeply, wiggling his tongue inside the other, moaning as his twitching rim squeezed his wet slippery muscle. After a moment of holding himself there he pulled back, sighing dreamily as he listened to Hide pant above him.  
  
“Mmm, good idea,” Haise licked his lips, his voice sinfully sweet, drawing out his words as he went to suck on the sensitive bundle of nerves just on the underside of the head of Hide's dick. He spent a few seconds there, just leisurely licking at the leaking cock in front of him, humming as he leaned back to grab at the lube he’d placed by the shampoo “How much did you use last night... the bottle's almost gone.” Haise mused, bottom lip caught in his teeth, popping the cap off as he turned the bottle upside down “Oh well, we’re going back to the sex shop anyway right? We’ll just have to get more.” His eyes were fixated on hides face, the cool gel pooling in the palm of his hand.  
  
“Where do you want me to put all this,” Haise lifted his hand a bit, still steadily pouring the lube.

* * *

Hide’s words were lost in a garbled moan as Haise’s tongue lapped at his twitching rim. Fuck, it was so sensitive, and combined with the heat of the spray and the wet warmth of the tongue, the former blond wondered if he would even last long enough for his boyfriend to finish stretching him.

_Although, if that happened it would mean he’d fuck me until i’m hard again…_

He pressed his palm tight against his mouth to muffle a whimper of need.

So distracted by the pleasure of getting tongue-fucked, and then the loss of the sensation, Hide almost missed Haise’s comment on his “excessive” use of lube.

“ _Hah_ , you weren’t, weren’t complaining last night,” Hide panted with a grin. “... and considering how much we’ve been, been _going at it_ , I am the opposite of…” Hide’s eyes fluttered shut and his words died, forgotten, as he gently guided Haise’s fingers to his entrance.

“You…. You remember how I did it to you last night? Just use one finger at first… Go slow…” Hide’s dick twitched and leaked a few drops of pre as the investigator’s finger breached him.

“...  _Fuck yes_ ….”

* * *

Haise bit his tongue as Hide guided his hand down between his legs, helping him along as he positioned him just at his entrance. He diligently followed his instructions, though the remembered exactly what Hide had done to him last night, and he was more than happy to demonstrate just how good his memory really was.

Slowly he pushed his finger in all the way to his knuckle, curling it once he was fully sheathed, his mouth setting back to work on sucking at the head of the others cock. He kept his finger inside, twitching it and wiggling it, before beginning to thrust it in and out of the former blond at a steady pace. It wasn’t too fast, and it wasn’t to slow, Haise taking Hide further in his mouth every time he pulled his digit out. After several slower penetrations, Haise twisted his hand, fluidly sliding in another finger beside the first; holding them there like he did the first time so Hide could get used to it.

* * *

Hide’s nails dragged against the shower walls helplessly as he forced himself not to reach down and pump his throbbing erection. Instead he brought his free hand to comb through his boyfriend’s hair as the other continued to muffle his panting.

The former blond’s head thumped back against the wall with a soft cry as he was breached. A low moan escaped him as the finger went deeper… deeper… and turned to a sharp gasp as Haise discovered his prostate. _Why the fuck is he so good at finding that, jesus christ._

 

And suddenly Haise was sucking him, lapping at the cum leaking at the tip and fucking him with his finger at the same time.

Hide was torn, wanting to grab Haise’s face and thrust himself down the ghoul’s throat, but also wanting to shove himself down onto Haise’s hand and fuck himself on it. _why are both of those things mutually exclusive._

He made the best compromise he could by moving his hips back and forth, slightly into his boyfriend’s mouth and then back onto his hands.

When Haise responded by slipping a second finger inside, Hide surprised them both with a loud whine.

… _Fuck it._

Hide tangled his other hand in Haise’s hair, putting forth only the barest effort to quiet himself.

“Fuck, hah, fuck me, pound me into the wall, I’m yours, make me yours…”

* * *

Hide was giving him the best reactions, barely being able to contain his moans, trying his best to thrust both into his mouth and down on to his fingers... and his expression was what pulled it all together. 

The investigator hummed, tongue vibrating against the thick vein on the underside of his boyfriend's length, Kaneki breathing sweet nothings in his ear as he began to twist and curl his fingers once more.   
  
Hide's desperate words sent a ‘zing’ straight up his spine, and pleasant throbbing erupted in his dick, his free hand moving down to fist himself. Haise wanted to stand up and shove himself inside Hide, but Kaneki was walking him through this, keeping him tied down, holding his hands as he practically the other to puppet him around. He wasn't about to throw this out the window, even if his kakugan was flashing to life, and his mouth just kept sucking Hide deeper, and his fingers were speeding up... jabbing Hide over and over... abusing his prostate almost expertly…  
  
 _‘Haise-’_  
  
The investigator moaned, shutting his eyes as he tilted his head back, pushing himself up on his knees to let Hide slip to the back of his mouth, the head of his throbbing member pushing just inside his throat. Haise wrinkled his nose, swallowing quickly before pulling away, taking a deep breath before repeating the action... again... and again- His fingers stretching and scissoring for a few brief moments before returning to their almost brutal pace.  
  
He wasn't even thinking, his mind clouded over, Kaneki's words sounding as if they were both underwater. He could feel squirming in his back, but it was no where near as bad as before, no, Haise found his body humming. His nerves were singing, and Kaneki didn’t seem too alarmed, more annoyed that Haise wasn’t listening.  
  
Haise swallowed around Hide once more, hand tightening on his own dick, Kaneki jerking him to attention.  
  
 _‘Go easy on his ass.’_  
  
Haise had been so caught up in the taste, and the sounds Hide was making, that he hadn’t even realised just how quickly his fingers were ramming in to Hide... so in the turn of a dime, he slowed, pushing his fingers against the others prostate to massage in a circular motion.  
  
“Sorry... got excited... fo-for a second,” Haise winced, quickly returning back to sucking the former blond's dick, sinking down on it just like he’d done before, only now he held himself there until tears welled in his eyes, and his stomach did nasty flips.  
  
“Ah-”

* * *

Hide could feel his breathing going faster and heavier as the investigator quickened his pace.

His fingers tightened, his gasps echoed loudly against the tiles even through the  hiss of the shower.

He couldn’t even find the words to continue dirty talking as Haise moved faster and faster, but he could feel his orgasm building, and he could just feel that crest, he could taste it-

When the ghoul pulled off him, Hide let out a strangled noise and looked down to stare.

His only response was a wordless noise and a look that he hoped conveyed his pure frustration.

But then Haise was back on him, swallowing around him and trying not to choke…

Almost comically quickly Hide was back to edge, and when his boyfriend’s fingers lightly brushed that knot of nerves, he was pushed over the edge.

Hide’s fingers clenched tightly in Haise’s hair and he came with a high pitched noise.

* * *

Haise sucked furiously, bobbing his head as he hollowed his cheeks, his fingers continuing to constantly rub against the former blond's prostate. He couldn’t help the small laugh that vibrated over Hide's cock, the investigator for some reason finding his stomach twisting in giddy humor as that shocked and frustrated noise melting into something much more sinful.

Haise moaned, swallowing Hide's cum greedily, still sucking on the tip even after the other had spilled his load. Haise continued to curl his fingers inside Hide, over stimulating him, groaning from the rough pulling on his hair. The investigator shivered as his own orgasm washed through his body, though it wasn’t as powerful as Hide's, his cum just leaking down over his balls and dripping into the tub.  
  
“Mmm Hide…” Kaneki was breathing heavily in his ear, Haise finding hard to focus as his knees gave out under him, his butt hitting the shallow pool of water with a smack. “You tightened up around my fingers” he wiggled them inside the other, licking his lips before finally pulling them out. “I guess i did the job right?” He stared up with shuttered eyes, not minding hot spray pelting his face.

* * *

Hide’s breath hitched at that, and the feeling of Haise’s fingers moving inside him.

Lazily he opened his eyes and smiled down at the ghoul. “Yeah, your finger-banging game is strong tonight, young padawan.”

Hide was silent for a moment. “It’s a good thing you don’t like movies, so I don’t feel as bad about ruining them for you.”

The former blond pulled his fingers from his boyfriend’s entangled hair, smoothing it down with the spray of the shower. “That was great, babe… Want me to suck you off, or did you have something different in mind?”

Playfully Hide tightened himself around Haise’s fingers. If he thought this felt good, Hide couldn’t wait to see the look on Haise’s face when he felt the sensation on his cock, this time with love, affection and fully in control.

* * *

Haise leaned in to the hand, eyes rolling down to stare at his semi hard dick, the remaining droplets of cum just barely clinging to the underside of his shaft. Kaneki was still groaning over what was apparently the worst reference in the world, the white haired ghoul backed off of him completely and apparently no longer in the mood.

  
“I’m glad i have no idea what you’re talking about…” Haise stood up on shaky legs, wincing at his aching knees. They’d be back to normal in a matter of second here, but they were still pretty sore. Grabbing Hide's hand, and twining their fingers together, Haise brought himself to press flush against the other once more.  
  
“My plan ended about a minute ago... so if you have any ideas, I’d love it if you shared.”

* * *

Hide’s mind immediately jumped to the dirtiest scenario, and a flush lit up his face and neck.

“Well… I guess you could say I have… one idea…” Hide gently tugged Haise upwards and buried his face in his shoulders. Ever so slowly, he rolled his hips against Haise’s, listening to him groan.

Almost hesitantly, he separated their hands to run his fingers along the ghoul’s back, down his hips…

He had just pressed a soft kiss into his boyfriend's neck when the shower water suddenly went from “warm” to “freezing waves of the Atlantic cold”.

Hide made a high-pitched noise and almost fell over Haise trying to escape the freezing spray. Distantly, he heard a female voice shout something about using up all the hot water.

“Err… maybe we should continue this another time…”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who makes a cameo in this chapter
> 
> TP: -cries- I forgot about the cameo. Oh boy

Haise arched his back, his body trying to get away from the cold spray of water before his mind could catch up, The investigator gritting his teeth as he stared at the ceiling. Maybe he needed this.   
  
He looked down to Hide with a tight-lipped smile, brow twitching as he thought about just how Saiko was listening in the whole time. That girl was going to kill him some day.  
  
“I guess we’re going to have to.” Haise leaned his head back into the cold water, quickly pulling out with a shake. “Besides i should start filing my report, and you probably need your... medication... right?” He stepped out of the shower, reaching for a towel, sighing as the pleasant hum faded from his body completely. “The quinx should be out this afternoon, so I’ll try to finish before then so I can keep an eye on you.” He leaned over to turn off the shower, frowning slightly. “I think i’ll leave Mutsuki in charge of you for a bit…”  
  
Not Saiko, never again, Mutsuki was the way to go.  
  
 _‘Im starting to like the purple hair.’_  
  
“I liked it blond.” Haise wrinkled his nose, Kaneki laughing in response.

* * *

Hide gently fussed with his (slightly damp, dripping dark coloring down his neck) hair into an artfully tousled look. “Hey, I resent that comment. I was probably practically normal towards the end of the day. You probably won’t even notice a difference.”

Hide chose to prove his maturity by not commenting on the disbelieving noise his boyfriend made, and instead grabbed a towel of his own, trying not to drip his purple hair dye onto it too much.

The former blond grabbed his toothbrush, wet it, lathered it with toothpaste and stuck it in his mouth, exiting the bathroom with it comically hanging from his lips as he used his other hand to hold up his towel.

Hide hurried to his bag to dress, grab his meds for the day, and finish brushing his teeth. When he returned, the bathroom was empty. His next stop was downstairs to nibble on toast.

* * *

Haise was leaning against the counter, a coffee in hand, the pan on the stove with bacon and eggs cooking for Saiko and Mutsuki. Urie and Shirazu had left early apparently, and Haise could only guess it was because of he and Hide's little activity in the shower... that and Saiko's expression said it all when she told him they’d already left.

He didn’t look at Hide when he came down stairs, quickly staring at the stove as he reached under his shirt to scratch at his stomach, Mutsuki saying a polite good morning.  
  
“Tomorrow, I want pancakes.” Saiko whined, drooling on the table as she daydreamed. “What about you, Papa? Pancakes sound good, right?”  
  
“Don’t just go deciding things all on your own. I’m going in early tomorrow.” Haise said as he took the pan from the stove, divvying up three plates, giving Saiko an extra piece of bacon.  
  
What could he say, he spoiled her.  
  


“Hide’s not allowed in the kitchen on medication.” the mentor waved his spatula at them “Which by the way, do you want orange juice or coffee?” he directed his attention to Hide, smiling at his tussled and faded hair.

* * *

_“Hey_ ,” Hide said as he entered the kitchen. “First of all, I am perfectly sober. Second of all, I am the best inebriated or otherwise incapacitated cook. I have made so many high burritos, you don’t even know. Thirdly,” Hide stuck out his tongue and blew a raspberry before popping his pill in his mouth and fixing up a glass of water.

The former blond downed his glass and opened up the bread to begin making his breakfast, only half-listening to the conversation.

He only truly tuned in when it was finally mentioned who would be “babysitting” him.

Hide turned to Saiko with his most serious expression.

“So, when are you going to be back.”

“Around 3:30.”

“.... Make it 4:00 and I’ll tell you how to get Murakami’s ending.”

Saiko’s grin faded to a tortured expression. “You already figured it out? Not even the walkthroughs are out yet!”

“Promise. Me and your maman have shopping and… testing to do.”

Saiko pouted sullenly. “... 3:50.”

“4: _20_ , and I’ll give you his favorite gift, top. And no walking in on us saying you got bored of waiting.”

Finally, Haise piped in. “Hey, what are you two whispering about back there?”

Saiko smiled innocently while flashing a thumbs up to Hide.

The former blond, meanwhile, was grinning a tad too innocently at his boyfriend. “So babe, when did you think you were going to be getting back? We do have those errands to run, after all…”

* * *

Haise choked, glaring as he walked over, practically shoving a plate in Hide's direction. His face was glowing as Saiko dug in, while Mutuski smiled with a thank you. The investigator glanced at the clock- 9:48- and clicked his tongue. “Better eat up then, we’ll go after breakfast. I Have reports to sort through…” 

\- - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - 

It was almost one, and Haise was still steadily typing away, stopping only when he had to manually fill out something in one of the thick files piled on his desk. He leaned back in his chair, rubbing his eyes as he stared at the time, wondering if maybe Hide was hungry.  
  
They’d left the house at 10:15, and Haise insisted that Hide explore the sex shop all by himself. He tried to look at anything but the store's contents, but honestly everything in there had to do with sex. He took to staring at his feet, glancing at Hide every now and them to see him inspecting some brightly coloured silicone dick, grinning ear to ear as he turned it on. 

Haise just continued to stare at his feet after that, the lady behind the counter smirking at him as she played with her vibrant pink hair, his cheeks heating.  
  
He only looked up when Hide smacked his arm, telling him to come pay for everything.  
  
When he pulled out his card the lady handed Hide a rather large black bag, and he was just a tad afraid of what else was in there besides the lube he demanded hide grab before entering the store.  
  
The price was outrageous…  
  
“Fuck” Haise groaned, getting back to work “There’s sandwich meat in the fridge if you’re hungry” he said, hoping Hide could hear him from over on the bed.   
  
Earlier he’d been going through his things, like drawers and his closet, so he was happy that the other had finally settled down with a game device. Honestly he didn’t pay much attention when he was doing it, he was much too busy.

* * *

Hide causally strolled through the store, occasionally trying to catch Haise’s eye with any particularly ludicrous toys he passed.

The former blond sighed. Perhaps he’d been a bit optimistic, but when he’d pictured going to a sex shop together…. This had not been what he’d had in mind.

Absently he fondled a green dick as thick as his forearm. If he brought that up to the register, it would certainly get Haise’s attention…

“Um, can I help you, sir?” A mousy, nervous-looking brunette smiled at him through thick glasses. “Maybe help you find something…?”

Hide gestured at his busily-typing partner. “My boyfriend and I came here to pick something out, but as you can see…”

The girl’s eyes followed his hand and widened comically. “Oh, um, well…” She stuttered, before seeking help. “Umm, Thea…?”

“Second to last aisle!” The redhead at the checkout called out, not looking up from her phone.

The brunette laughed nervously and scurried away, but not before directing Hide to "aisle 7”.

Hide nearly busted a gut laughing at the size of the fisting dildos.

At least half of the laughter had come from remembering Saiko’s comments on this aisle, and how Hide should probably drop his pants so she could see what her dear maman was working with.

Hide considered it a personal victory that he’d found a dildo similiar in size to his package, and that Saiko had been suitably impressed (although not without a not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean comments).

Nonetheless, the trip over here seemed to not be in vain as he spotted a toy with attractive label of “FOR BEGINNER'S ANAL USE!” and a particularly yellow coloring...

Hide waved Haise over to pay. “... Weren’t you blond, yesterday?” said the cashier, frowning.

“Nope, you must be thinking of someone else,” Hide replied innocently.

The cashier frowned at him, but said nothing more.

On the way home, Hide could not stop peaking in the bag and smiling. By some pure (*cough*) happenstance, Hide had managed to pick up banana-flavored lube, a new dildo, and yellow ribbed (for her pleasure) glow-in-the-dark condoms.

Today was a beautiful day. Looking at the yellow things, and Haise’s fucking gorgeous tight uniform, however, inspired a few… odd thoughts. _Pervy_ thoughts.

 **** _If he has a collection of banana ties_ , Hide thought to himself, nosing through Haise’s closet under the pretext of looking for something that was  definitely in his bag, _then I deserve to know_.

Unexpectedly, however, at the back of Haise’s closet he did not find an enormous pile of banana-themed neckwear. Instead, he found a lovely blonde wig and women’s clothing.

“... Hey, babe?” Hide called, trying to calm the sudden tightness in his pants. It was one thing to want Haise to dress up in skits, and an entirely different matter to expect something just because it aroused him…

* * *

Haise chewed the inside of his cheek, looking to the bed only to see the DS sitting innocently on the sheets with no Hide in sight. He blinked, afraid of what he’d see if he turned his head anymore to try and search for Hide in the room, afraid of-

“Why are you in my closet.” Haise blinked, setting down his pen, turning in his seat with narrowed eyes “What... are you doing over there…”

* * *

Well, Hide had learned from past experience that it was best to just fess up immediately when Kaneki was involved. It tended to involve less chewing-out later.

“Well, I was actually looking for a collection of banana-themed menswear, but since you don’t have any then you should forget that because it is totally going to be a birthday present now. And instead i found…” Hide held the wig up. Actually, now that his mind had stopped whirling, this wig was _really high quality_ …

Not that Hide had ever had any sort of experience with that sort of thing, of course, he had never thrown on a wig and gender-neutral clothing and gone shopping, haha, that would be a ridiculous thing to assume…

He was silent for a moment, mentally drawing himself a picture of Haise with the wig. “This would actually look really nice, the bangs complement your face structure and the color goes really well with your skintone. Where did you get this? Damn, mine are like Halloween costume wigs compared to this one…”

Haise found himself smiling at the absurdity of banana-themed clothing. Sure he had some obscure graphic shirts and boxers, but he’d never bought anything with bananas on them. He did have that one strange poster…  
  
“Oh…” the investigator leaned forward in his chair hand reaching up as he tried to keep himself from asking Hide to be careful with it “We had an operation a while back. We all dressed up as girls... even Shirazu.” He laughed at the memory, standing up to make his way over to the other, reaching in to the closet to grab the neatly folded shirt and skirt, leaving the accessories. “Saiko and Mutsuki looked so cute... and you can imagine that Urie wanted no part of that.”

  
He stood again, grinning triumphantly as he held the articles against his body. “I became ‘Sasako’!” He posed.  “I learned all about this sort of stuff from a book I read once. I think I looked pretty good myself.” He shifted legs, looking over himself. “I forgot I had all this”

* * *

Hide took a long moment to process that statement.

“... Please tell me you took pictures.”

Hide grinned impishly. “Actually I guess I don’t need pictures right this second.” He carefully swept his boyfriend’s hair back and tugged the wig over it. It wouldn’t stay in the long run, but it would be fine for what Hide had in mind.

“I wanna see,” The human grinned impishly. “I’ll bet you looked amazing….”

* * *

Haise blinked, swallowing as his boyfriend's fingers ran back through his hair, a faint blush crossing over his face as Hide tugged the wig on to his head. He folded the clothes over his one arm, reaching up to help by tucking a few stray hairs up past the seam, flattening the pale blond locks and smoothing them as he made them frame his face.

“I... umm…” He smiled bashfully “I could... always... show you?” He was a bit nervous for some reason, even though he was perfectly fine wearing them before. “I don’t know where the makeup is but… You think it suits me?” he looked to the side, feeling a bit embarrassed with Hide watching him like that.

* * *

Hide laughed and tried to play off how invested he was in seeing this happen. “Oh man, you don’t need to wear makeup. You’d look great even without it. Holy cow you know how to apply makeup, ok.”

The former blond blinked furiously and tried not to let how flustered he was getting show. God _damn_ , it didn’t seem to be that long ago that Hide had been the one reducing Haise to a flushing mess. He really needed to step up his game.

“Maybe we should buy _you_ a nice short skirt…” Hide coughed, allowing his eyes to flicker up and down his boyfriend’s form, trying not to stare and _imagine_ …

* * *

Haise sucked in a breath, his face burning, not really used to all these...compliments.

“W-well... Thanks.” He scratched his cheek, suddenly feeling naked, and like maybe his whole outfit was something to be a little ashamed about. Hide was making him feel a bit dirty... not in a really bad way, but more like he should keep his cross dressing to the bedroom.  
  
He looked great as Sasako, so there was no reason he should be embarrassed, but now...now he was thinking some rather inappropriate things.  
  
“A short skirt…” Haise blinked, meeting Hide's eyes.  
  
 _‘You walked right in to this.’_  
  
He did. He totally did. But he didn’t really mind…  
  
“Maybe we should…” He breathed, his arms absentmindedly crossing over his torso, as if trying to hide himself from Hide's view.

* * *

“I mean, I just… since you… “ Hide swallowed thickly and dropped his gaze to the floor, where it would be safest. Fuck, he was totally flushing. “Since you seemed to enjoy it when I wore one, is what I’m saying…”

Hide closed his eyes and tried to steady his racing pulse as he heard the sound of clothing rustling.

His dick gave a twitch of interest at the thought of Haise removing his clothing… Haise pulling on his cute skirt and blouse…

“So, um, hypothetical question,” He said, shuffling from foot to foot and hoping his hardening dick was less obvious that it felt. “If I said I really wanted to suck you off right now, how much of a pervert would say I am?”

* * *

Haise played with the buttons on his blouse, confidently sporting his skirt and girlish top despite his hot blush, biting the inside of his cheek as he looked over to his report with hooded eyes “Well…” He had a lot of work to do, but before he could even think about he’d already put on his Sasako outfit... not very well, because he looked a bit disheveled, but he made an effort. “A big pervert…”

He curled his toes against the hardwood, licking along the back of his teeth as Kaneki stared in silence.  
  
“But... I guess I’m also a pervert... since I kind of want you to…” He stepped closer, holding his breath as he gently ran his hand over Hide's chest, his nose brushing Hide's as he ghosted his lips over the former blond's. “I guess... that shower didn’t help my filthy mind... did it?”

* * *

Hide pressed himself forward into a slow, passionate kiss, gently pulling and nudging Haise to sit on the bed.

The former blond dropped to his knees and gently rubbed his hands over Haise’s skirt.

“Maybe the reason it didn’t work,” Hide mumbled, slipping his hands underneath the skirt and pulling it forward, “is because we never…”

Hide’s words caught in his throat as his fingers reached his boyfriend’s crotch to brush against the growing tent. _Fuck_ his mouth was watering just thinking about how it would taste…

 ****“Because we never…?” Haise prompted, even as Hide dropped to his knees and was pushing up his skirt, pulling down his boxers to free his trapped erection.

The former blond kissed and tongued the head for a long moment. “... Because we never… went all the way..” Hide breathed, bring his hands up to wrap around the base even as his own dick throbbed painfully, desperate for attention. He peeked up quickly to look at Haise in his wig, before tonguing up his dick, coating it in spit.

Once it had been thoroughly moistened, or at least to a level that Hide knew his throat could tolerate, he scooted forward and sank his head halfway down his dick.

After a few moments, he pulled upwards and reached for Haise’s hands, gently tugging them to rest against his hair.

His movements stilled as he waited for Haise to get the hint, that he wanted his face fucked at the ghoul’s own pace….

* * *

Haise's mouth hung open, lips parted as his breath picked up, a knot twisting in his stomach. He wished he could go all the way with Hide. Really, it shouldn’t be a fucking problem, yet here he was. He wasn’t sure if it was because it was so intimate, or it felt too good… because being sucked off by Hide was amazing… it was... so-

“-Ah” he gasped, curling his fingers into those faded purple locks, careful not to hurt him, but holding him tightly enough where he could hold him firmly.  
  
Maybe... maybe he’d suggest... trying again.  
  
Kaneki said nothing at Haise's thought, thought it didn’t seem like the ghoul was opposed to it… but he wasn’t jumping at the suggestion either.  
  
Maybe later… and maybe not somewhere where if he did... have a _problem_... there wouldn’t be a chance of someone walking in that whole ordeal.  
  
He trusted Kaneki enough to be able to stop him... to rescue him... so maybe... _maybe he could try_?  
  
“I wish…” He could feel his eyes water, and he wasn't sure if it was that nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach, or the pleasure. “I want to…” He scooted forward a bit, his ass half hanging off the edge of the bed, dick pushing a little further back in Hide's throat from the movement “So _bad.”_  
  
He rolled his hips forward, sinking into that delicious heat before quickly pulling back and repeating the action. “Ah-Hide…” He gasped, letting his head fall to the side, the hair from his wing falling over his eyes and neck.“Suck me... _really hard_ …”

* * *

Hide moaned around Haise’s cock at the idea of getting his ass fucked.

He tried to gasp quick breaths as Haise withdrew, but as he began to speed up Hide threw in the towel and just held his breath, rubbing his tongue along the underside of his cock as the ghoul fucked his mouth.

After a few minutes, Hide dropped one of his hands from tightly squeezing the base to palm his own tenting crotch.

His hand slipped in to rub at his throbbing hardness just as Haise gave his command.

The first to react was his dick with a powerful twitch, followed by an exhale through his nose and a powerful suction through his mouth.

Even as he continued hollowing his cheeks, he forced his head deeper onto Haise’s cock, nudging it into his throat and swallowing around it.

The hand in his pants squeezed as he came up for air with a low, vibrating moan.

* * *

Haise's skirt had fallen over Hide's face at some point, but it’s not like the investigator could see through the tears that welled in his eyes, his hips just continuing to snap forward. He wanted to see- but he could imagine that beautiful mouth sealing around him, and the flush over Hides face, and the crease in his brow as he slipped into his throat-

“Fuck” Haise shuddered, letting one of his hands fall from Hide's hair, fingers grabbing his skirt and holding it up against his stomach.  
  
Just like he imagined.  
  
Haise panted, shoulders heaving as a high moan escaped him, much to his mortification. Just because he was wearing girl's clothes, did not mean he had to sound like one.  
  
“Hi-...idee- Hide,” The haze was closing in, the half-ghoul shutting his eyes tight as the former blond pulled back. The investigator hunched forward as his orgasm suddenly consumed him. “-Hide!”    
  
Again he was mortified, blinkinging down with wide, teary eyes, his face bright red. “S-sorry... You... you’re so... hot.” He wasn’t just referring to Hide, but the human in general. His voice, his face.... the temperature of his mouth.  
  
“Ohh... fuck…” he swallowed, releasing his hair, bringing his hand down to wipe away the cum coating his lips and chin. How embarrassing... He came too soon…

* * *

Hide distantly felt a bit of air gust against his face, but he was too busy focusing on keeping a constant squeeze against his erection and sucking his cheeks as tightly as he could.

He pulled out to lick at the knot of skin just beneath Haise’s head when suddenly his dick throbbed and Hide’s mouth was full of cum.

The former blond looked up through his half-lidded eyes, licked his lips, and swallowed the remaining jizz. Shakily he stood and crawled into Haise’s lap for a kiss, and to rub his painfully tight crotch against the ghoul’s stomach.

Upon breaking the kiss, Hide moaned wordlessly and let his mouth trail down to latch at his boyfriend's neck, sucking a mark into it.

* * *

Haise thought he could maybe cum again right then and there as Hide crawled on top of him, kissing him firmly before trailing his lips down his neck. He could feel the blond's dick press against his stomach, his eyes rolling in to the back of his head, hands gripping the blonde's shirt as he desperately tried to bring him closer. 

“Hide,” he breathed in his ear, wiggling his hands between them, pushing the human back a bit before working on pulling the elastic waistband of his sweatpants down. “Hide-” He winced, his half-hard dick being crushed under the former blond's ass.  
  
With quick hands, he managed to yank his pants down a bit, his body preventing him from pulling them off any further than an inch down his thighs. It was enough though, because Hide's length stood proud and leaking, Haise quickly grabbing at it with both hands.   
  
He used his palm to smear Hide's precum, while the other set to gently stroking him, the investigator, peering down at it with a watery mouth.  
  
“Hide, I wanna…” He didn’t know if he wanted to ask the other to stand up and do his face like he had done Hide's... or ask him where he put the lube so he could tell Hide to fuck his hand so he could watch…  
  
“What do you want me to do to you…” He nipped at the blond's ear, breathing heavily as he felt the dick in his hand throb with need. “Or... what do you want to do... To me?”

* * *

Hide groaned lowly. God, after this morning… he really wanted to make Haise melt just like he’d done in the shower….

“Lube,” he found himself gasping, eyes tearing from his hickey to roam the room. “where….”

He found himself answering his own question as his eyes fell on the bag from the sex shop.

And the memory of a certain purchase lit up. He doubts Haise even got a good look at it, so eager was he to keep his eyes on the floor and his laptop…

Grinning evilly, Hide jumped up, pulled down his pants and made his way over to the bag.

He tossed the lube to Haise with a quick, “Here open this,” and began quickly tearing apart the packaging for the vibrator he’d worked so hard to earn, taking great care to keep it hidden from view until it was free of the plastic.

“Guess what we’re going to shove up my ass,” Hide said, smiling impishly, and pulled out the small green cucumber. “Yeah they didn’t have a banana but I figured you’ve got enough fruit in your diet from hanging out with me so much.”

* * *

Haise moaned at the loss of contact, watching with something akin to a pout as Hide scrambled away from him, chucking a bottle of lube in his direction. 

Obediently he fiddled with it, easily breaking the plastic wrapped around the cap, peeling it off before leaning over to set it on his bedside table. He’d just have to put it in the garbage later.  
  
The investigator whipped his head in Hides direction, eyes zeroing in on the thing in the blonds hand, his cock coming to life immediately despite the stupid fucking joke Hide made.  
  
Haise swallowed thickly, hand squeezing the bottle in his hand until the cap popped open all b itself, Lube squirting out on to his cheek “-shit” he let the bottle go, watching at the lube oozed out of the top, frowning at the thought of all the laundry he was going to have to do…  
  
Blinking slowly, he wiped the lube off his cheek, looking to Hide with hooded eyes as he used the slimy substance to stroke his dick “You are my diet, Hide” he breathed, licking his lips.

* * *

Hide’s dick twitched as his eyes dropped to Haise’s lips at that. Tempting as the thought was, he did not want to embarrass that poor sex-shop worker for nothing!

Hide climbed onto Haise’s lap and closed a hand around their dicks, pumping them achingly slowly as his other hand wound around his boyfriend’s back to crush them together.

Hide let out a soft moan in the ghoul’s ear and begged softly to be fucked.

* * *

Haise moaned, mouthing Hide's chin, sucking just over the other's Adam's apple. He rolled his hips in to Hide, panting softly, lips just brushing the former blond's skin as he grabbed the lube from the side.

Hide's breathy words were repeating in his head.  
  
He could feel Hides knuckles against his spine, reaching with his other hand to take the sex toy from the sheets, arms winding around Hide to prepare the green silicone vibrator behind his back.  
  
He wanted him to fuck him, and oh god, did he ever want- “Fuck yes.” He grinned, tucking his face in to the crook of Hide's neck, grabbing and pulling one of the blonds asscheeks to the side as he positioned the toy at his entrance.   
  
“Hide... I wanna fuck you so bad-” He slowly sank the toy inside his lover, swirling it gently after each little bulb pushed past his tight ring of muscle “Can you feel it?” He hummed, thrusting his hips, gasping as the blonds hand tightened around them, the investigator drooling on to the other's shoulder.

* * *

Hide’s breath hitched as the cool silicone rested against his warm ring of muscle. His lip caught in his teeth and a low groan escaped him.

And then there was Haise’s whisper… He felt the ghoul’s dick pulse, probably in imagination of penetrating Hide and he instinctively tightened his grip, still going at an agonizingly slow (for him, anyway- he wanted to fuck himself on the toy, pound into his fist or maybe into his boyfriend, just so long as he was _moving_ ).

The human could not hold in his soft squeak at being penetrated and panted into Haise’s shoulder.

After a moment to allow himself to adjust, he found his hips moving backward almost unconsciously.

“You’d feel so good,” He whispered as he pressed kisses into the ghoul’s shoulder. “You feel so good inside me, fucking me… _fuck_ , harder, please, _faster…_ ”

* * *

Haise's hand paused, rolling his hips as Hide pumped them both together, their dicks being squished in his tight grip. Haise could imagine himself pushing inside the blond, nuzzling the others neck as he pictured Hide gasping and grabbing at his shoulders, begging him to be deeper. 

He blinked with bleary eyes at the sweaty and drool-covered skin, his wig sticking to his cheeks and forehead, tongue poking out as the haze crept over him once again. Instead of fighting it, he embraced it, his left eye slowly bleeding in to black.

 _'Haise...’_  
  
“I...know…” his breath caught, pressing the little button on the end of the vibrator, suddenly pushing it in till his fingers touched Hides quivering hole “Like... that, Hide?” He whispered, a lazy smile curling on his lips, his last coherent thoughts begging Kaneki to keep handle on him; especially with what he intended to do.  
  
Slowly he pulled the toy out, Kaneki grabbing at his shoulders, pressing himself to his front, almost as is he were trying to become one. It wasn’t hot or arousing, but desperate and concerned, the ghouls hand's running up to cup both sides of his face.  
  
They were never going to get anywhere if they kept... shying away from it, right?  
  
“I won’t... do it yet.” His smile cracked in to a grin, eyes narrowing as they looked to the side, watching Hide as he pulled back to watch his face “Fast...right?” he tilted his head to the side, staring at the former blond intensely from under his bangs, almost as if he wanted to eat him. Quickly he shoved the toy back in, his fingers hooked in the little loop, and pulled it out immediately. “Am I doing it right?”  he whispered, his back squirming as he continued to fuck Hide with the vibrating toy, his mouth a hair's length away from closing over the human's.

* * *

Hide choked on air as he was suddenly filled with the vibrating toy after being achingly empty for moments too long. Words that might have been expletives fell from his lips as the hand around their cocks tightened, and the other dragged his nails down the ghoul’s back.

The human could not even answer other than gasps, his eyes shut in pleasure and head thrown back even as the ghoul crushed him closer.

His wordless sounds grew gradually higher in pitch and louder as he was fucked with the toy, as it kept ramming against his prostate and the vibrating beads mercilessly fucking his entrance-

Hide’s breath caught as he came with a groan, splashing cum across Haise’s lovely blouse.

* * *

Haise shivered, Watching as Hide reached his peak, rutting against him and pushing back on the toy that he constantly fucked him with. Haise was almost disappointed that he came, because he was enjoying watching Hide throw his head back like that, and stare as his mouth opened and closed in silent screams of pleasure. 

The investigator pulled his fingers free of the little loop, leaving the toy buzzing against Hides prostate, his hand coming to close over his boy friends, helping him continue to stroke pump them even as Hide twitched and jerked in his lap.

Haise brought his fingers to his blouse, running them through the globs of the semen, both smearing and collecting it. Without a second thought he popped them in his mouth one by one, moaning at the taste as he rocked against Hide, Kaneki holding on to him even tighter than before.  
  
“Hide, was it good?” He licked his lips, reaching back around to finally take the toy out of the others trembling hole, turning it off before carelessly tossing it to the side; smiling as he heard it hit the ground with a thunk. “You taste so good, Hide.” Haise leaned forward, biting at Hides throat, sucking aggressively as the gears in his head ground and jammed. “So, so good,” he let his hand fall back down to Hide's, stopping the man from stroking them any further.

* * *

Hide was quiet for a long moment, trying to catch his breath despite his shallow panting.

Thwarting his attempts to calm down, however, was the buzzing toy rubbing his prostate with every movement he made, every instinctual twitch he gave at Haise’s _sinful_ sounds.

The former blond opened his eyes just in time to see his boyfriend lick his cum sensually off his fingers.

Hide’s dick gave a twitch of interest as he let out a soft whimper.

Well if he was boned anyway… “You said not yet,” Hide whispered, slipping back to part his ass cheeks and rub his entrance on Haise’s legs.

“... well? Are you going to…?” Hide let his gaze slip down to Haise’s leaking cock and licked his (still reddened from his earlier efforts) lips.

* * *

Haise was about to lean in and kiss the other when he spoke, leaning back to rub on his bare leg, the feeling of his wet and slippery ass on his skin driving him insane. He was talking as if he knew what was coming, and Haise was thankful he seemed to catch on... because if Hide wasn’t okay with him... entering, then that would have been an unpleasant experience after he’d already done it.

He could feel the former blond's hungry gaze on his twitching dick, and his mouth was watering at the thought of what was to come, hands moving to grip Hide's hips tightly.  
  
“This time…” He whispered, pulling the other back up, forcing him to kneel over his lap so that his mouth was pressed against Hide's clothed chest. “...This time... I won’t fuck up.” His voice was strained, eyes narrowed as he stared up at Hide, brows furrowed and his pleasured grin twitching before fading in to a worried frown.  
  
He was focusing, Kaneki embracing him tightly, eyes dead set no longer on Hide... but the hunger-crazed smile of the looming centipede only a few feet away from him. That would always be there... a part of him... a part of Kaneki.  
  
They would just have to work together.  
  
He swallowed, gasping as he lowered hide down on to his leaking cock, choking as the others hot quivering hole swallowed him up bit by bit.  
  
“O- oh... Hide…” He kissed him, the blond fully seated on his lap, with a spare inch left out given their awkward position “Hide... you’re so tight…” he found himself shakily leaving kisses down his neck, his hands trembling as they dragged up Hide's back.

* * *

“I trust you,” Hide murmured quietly as Haise pulled him closer. And he truly did. Even during the disaster that was last time, when the encounter reached its zenith, he had been able to keep a clear enough head to sort out an acceptable amount of pain, and Kaneki/Haise had managed to to hit the brakes and end the encounter with only a minor sexual faux pas.

Hide smiled and pressed loving kisses to his boyfriend’s neck as he breached the tight ring of muscle for the second time that night.

The former blond’s breath caught and knuckles tightened on the ghoul’s shoulders as he was penetrated. Haise was just… a bit thicker then he’d been prepared for, and in hindsight Hide really shouldn’t have egged him on without insisting on being stretched a bit more. Live and learn.

After a few moments, the pain passed and his grip loosened.

Hide lazily opened his eyes lay another kiss to Haise’s jaw. Gently used his thighs to raise and lower his hips a little, savoring the choked sounds the ghoul made as he moved.

“One of these days,” Hide whispered, “we’re going to play the no touching game again but it’ll be you on your back as I ride you. It’ll be so nice and slow… I could probably ride you for hours. And then when you finally give in you’d probably pound my ass into the floor.” Hide laughed lightly and steadily raised his hips, then lowered them…

* * *

Haise moaned and gasped, panting in Hides ear as he clung to the former blond, tears welling in his eyes as he was swallowed up by Hide's heat. He was shaking, eyes rolling back in his head as he curled around his lover, choking as he latched on to the other's neck with vigor.

He could see it, Hide riding him, Haise laying there with his arms thrown over his head in an attempt to prevent himself from pounding into his boyfriend,  
  
“F- fuck…” he hissed, nosing under Hide's jaw, sucking another hickey into his skin.  
  
Hide tasted so good. So, so good, and he only wanted more.  
  
“H- Hide…” his body was quaking, hips rolling forward, tongue running up over the other chin as Haise went to sloppily kiss him. With a slow rock, Haise matched the pace Hide set, twitching and jerking as the kagune in his back tore from his back; his shirt riding up over them.   
  
Haise froze, body stilling save for his slow kissing, Kaneki whispering to Haise that he was doing so good.  
  
His kagune sat poised, fanning out behind him, pulsing as Haise crushed his body to Hides.

* * *

So absorbed was he in the stimulation, Hide only distantly noticed the flare of the kagune around them.

The former blond sucked in a breath, fully lowered himself and tightened around the throbbing length inside him.

His nails tightened painfully as he held himself in place, and gasped into Haise’s neck.

* * *

Haise's breathing was uneven, his entire body shaking, the kagune behind him twitching and jerking as Hide fully sank down on to him. He could feel the safe embrace of Kaneki all around him, Haise giving in to the haze as the white-haired ghoul stood between him and the crazed centipede, sighing in relief as Hide gasped just by his ear.

His saliva ran down his neck, the investigator swallowing before whispering Hide's name, the long pulsing kagune slowly circling around them, winding as twisting against Hides back and sides, crushing them together suddenly .  
  
“Don’t be scared,” he whispered, his nails still digging into the former blonds shoulder blade even as the kangune ran over them, his lips ghosting over the corner of Hide's jaw. “Kaneki won’t let anything happen to us…” He moaned softly, rocking his hips, burying himself deeper.

He wasn't particularly sure just how Kaneki was managing to keep his hunger at bay, but fuck was he glad it was working.

“I’m going to move” he said without a second thought, his deep red appendages helping lifting Hide up before dropping him back down again as Haise thrusted upwards. It was the intimacy, he was sure of it, just how close he was to Hide during this... how exposed he was as he gave his everything to the human... and Hide in return gave all of what he was…  
  
The amount of trust Hide had in him…  
  
“Hide... I’m so deep,” He panted, shuddering at the feeling of being squeezed, grinding himself against Hide's prostate with determination. “Does it feel good... with me inside.” Haise mouthed the other's chin, a kagune slipping up to wind around his neck and slither down his chests, forcing it’s way between them to squish and rub at Hide's leaking cock. “Better than my fingers?” He smiled playfully as his eyes misted over with lust.

* * *

Hide made a soft noise as he was pressed against his boyfriend, his read rolling down to stare, eyes unfocused, at the kagune.

“Not…” He whispered, and swallowed. “Not scared…” The human groaned and dropped his head back to Haise’s neck as the ghoul began thrusting into him once again.

His eyes flashed open as a kagune wrapped around him, his breath catching. At Haise’s question, he could only let out a high-pitched cry as his prostate was rubbed against.

Answering the best way he could, Hide lapped at his boyfriend’s shoulder and, on impulse, lightly sank his teeth into him. At the same time, his hand on Haise’s back slipped downward to grope at the pulsing rinkaku.

He let his hand slip down ward, to brush against the warm, almost wet-feeling sack they emerged from.

* * *

Haise shivered at Hide's moaning and gasping, relishing in the words he could barely speak, the investigator in turn replying with his own unintelligible mantras of Hide's name and 'yes'.

Hide was twitching and squishing him, his ass gripping him like a vice, sucking him deeper with each passing second. With all the strength he could muster the moment he ran his hands down hides back to grip his ass, kagune shakily moving out of the way as Hide massaged his spine, Haise crying out helplessly as an intense and pleasurable pulsing came from the former blond's magical fingers.

"Ah...-haa" Haise swallowed frantically, trying to keep the desperate moaning to a minimum, the sounds coming out of his mouth making it seem like he was the one getting fucked silly.

Kaneki moaned, the fuzz in Haise's mind growing stronger, and the static in his ears getting louder.

"Oh- oh Hi... de-" Haise gripped his asscheeks, lifting him smith the help of his kagune, and with a snap of his hips he began to hurriedly thrust up into the other's tight heat.

He could only assume he was hit Hides prostate, because the muscles around him twitched  and squeezed, milking him each time he pulled out. His kagune pushed further between them, squishing and wrapping around Hides dick, another slipping up from under the former blond’s arm to brush over his nipple.

"Hi... de," Haise panted, the humans name falling escaping him in broken segments "A-re y- ...ou... close... ah-"

* * *

Hide shuddered as the warm kagune brushed against his hardening nipple, and then wrapped firmly around his dick.

It felt warm, almost as if it were filled with blood, and he could swear he felt something almost like a pulse through it-

The kagune brushed against the sensitive skin underneath his head and Hide felt his dick throb.

“Clo… _Hah,_ I’m close,” He gasped, trying to fuck up into the kagune wrapped around him.

As his orgasm quickly approached, his hand near Haise’s kakuhou grasped at the empty air for something, anything, to hold onto.

His fingers grasped the base of a slick kagune, and pumped it a few times, when something he must have seen in a ghoul porno popped into his mind.

Without a second thought, Hide let go of the kagune to rub a circle along the sack, then pressed his fingers against it.

* * *

Haise watched Hide with hungry eyes, licking his lips as his jaw ached, the urge to sink his teeth in to Hide tugging at the back of his mind. Kaneki ran his hand up through his hair, whispering to Haise, telling him how good he was being; how fantastic he must be making hide feel.

He began to move with Hide's hips, moaning softly through his choked breaths, head hanging back as that delicious heat swallowed him up over and over again.   
  
Suddenly Haise stopped, jerking his hips up roughly to slam in to Hide, his mouth hanging open as his eyes widened. The human was pressing his fingers against the base of his Kagune, the appendage wiggling and wrapping around the other dick squeezing in appreciation. His fingers were pressing in to his kakuhou, massaging it, making him shake and quiver to the point where he couldn’t even hold on anymore.  
  
“Hide!-” He leaned forward, Hide falling back on the mattress, the kagune trapped under him now. “F- fu... ahh... yes... yeeeessss!” He gasped, hissing in pure bliss as he grinned down at Hide with his goulish smile, drooling as his pace quickened, slamming himself hard and deep inside his boyfriend. “Hide- Hide- Hide!” He said over and over, forcing the name up and out his throat, as if he were trying to focus... or remind himself just who was under him.  
  
“Cum... cum for me… squeeze me” He begged, desperate and crying out as Hide's fingers assaulted his sensitive spine.   
  
_‘Haise... It’s too good... I cant ho-’_  
  
“Cum! Hide!” He released, convulsing as he curled over his lover, an excessive amount of saliva dripping down from his open mouth, his face twisted in pleasure a inch away from the others neck as he continued to jerkily snap his hips forward, hitting Hides prostate directly each time.

* * *

Hide let out a squeak as he was pushed back into the mattress, but it was cut off as his breath hitched and Haise began pounding into him.

The former blond could only let out meaningless noises and sounds as he was fucked into the bed.

The tight knot of muscle being roughly pounded into was driving him crazy. His cock seemed to pulse with every thrust, and the kagune rhythmically tightened around him-

Hide clenched tightly at Haise’s command, the words just barely breaking through the haze, and in response he felt the kagune tighten almost painfully around his own cock.

Hide came with a high pitched noise, almost dry cumming due to his most recent orgasm.

He lay still for a long moment, basking in his orgasm, before slowly cracking open his eyes and pulling Haise down against himself.

“Jesus christ. I don’t know about you, but that was… _fucking amazing_.”

Hide lay there quietly, letting his breaths steady and heated skin cool off. Gently he ran his hand down one of Haise’s kagune. Almost to himself, he said aloud, “One of these days, if you feel comfortable with it, you should fuck me with these.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MFA: so who else here thinks ghoul porn would totally be a thing in tg universe  
> someone should  
> like  
> write that  
> *stares at readers expectantly*


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MFA: oh sweet 200 kudos *high fives Thea into the sun*

Haise was having trouble breathing, gasping as he blinked away the white screen of his orgasm, focusing on Hide's face as he reached his own climax. He wanted to kiss him, bite him, and continue fucking him. All of those were off the table though as  Hide pulled him down on top of him, the investigator practically collapsing from both physical and mental exertion.   
  
He shivered as he felt his cum leak out Hide's ass and drip down his softening length, Haise pushing his hips forward to stay buried inside for just a bit longer. His boyfriend stroked his Kagune, the warm twitching appendage gently moving to curl around his arm, thinning so it didn’t consume his forearm in its winding grasp completely.   
  
“I don’t think... they’re supposed to be used that way,” He swallowed, his head pounding and eyes aching, gripping Kaneki as if to keep him near even though he’d finished.  
  
He didn’t even feel his kakugan fade, Haise sucking back spit as he bit and sucked at Hide's neck lazily. The idea… kind of sounded hot... but he was reminded of last time.   
  
 _‘We’re getting better at controlling ourselves. It’s only a matter of time.’_  
  
“So you want to?” he murmured, slurping at the hickey he’d made before moving to make another, his entire body still craving for the sweet first bite in to-  
  
 _‘I didn’t say that.’_  
  
Haise groaned, gnawing on the human's flesh, Kagune still twisting and winding around the two of them. His hands gently moved up Hide's sides, the the dark red tentacle that had been wound around his member pulling up to brush just under his chin, the half-ghoul turning his head to instead lick and suck Hides cum off of it; shiving at the feeling of his own mouth.  
  
‘You’re surprisingly good with your tongue’ Kaneki snickered, haise humming contently.  
  
He was imagining his mouth to be Hide, the tip of his kagune slipping past his lips, tongue probing the liquid muscle. He couldn’t help but roll his hips, his mouth filling with spit once more as his hands moved to slide over Hides shoulders.  
  
What if he pushed one of these inside himself…  
  
“I...had...” He released the kagune with a pop, watching it twitch and pulse in front of him “...fun” he sounded almost uncertain; contemplative.

* * *

Hide smirked and nuzzled into Haise’s hair. _Well, I guess I know that Haise watches some very shitty porn… If he watches any at all…_

The former blond froze at that thought and said a silent prayer. _No wonder he kinda acts… so..._

His eyes drifted shut with pleasure at Haise’s sucking and nibbling at his neck. His hands moved to massage his boyfriend’s back.

At a soft sucking sound, Hide glanced down to see Haise lewdly licking the cum off his tentacle. Despite his most recent orgasm, the former blond felt a twinge in his abdomen at the sight.

“Uhh,” Hide said, blinking rapidly, “Is this a ghoul thing? Because Imma need like, ten minutes. And I’m pretty sure your blouse might stain if you don’t at least wet it,” he reached up to rub the wet stain of his jizz. Granted, jizz didn’t stain a lot of things (.... Hide would know….) but the silky material seemed very nice… And although cum was an acceptable stain on the sorts of things Hide wore into these situations, he couldn’t help but feel Haise has approached this with a bit more of an innocent outlook…

 **** _Which I just smashed into a million pieces_ , Hide thought as the ghoul rolled his hips into his crotch.

* * *

Haise sucked back the spit and cum in his mouth, swallowing with an audible gulp, tearing his aching eyes away from the kagune to look at Hide “Ten minutes?” He lost his thoughtful expression, now looking a bit confused before a faint flush washed over his cheeks. “‘-Uh,” He smiled nervously, pushing himself up and off of Hide, reaching up to tuck the blond hair from his wig behind his ear. “No... I…” He bit his lip, staring down at his blouse before his gaze traveled down to stare at where him and Hide were still connected.

He admired the mess with a hot face, his blush carrying down his neck as his eyes lingered before looking to the side. He was embarrassed, his head hurt, and he’d gone completely overboard…

Haise was much too enthusiastic about these sorts of... activities.  
  
 _‘It’s because you were practically a saint before-’_ Kaneki quipped as the investigator gingerly pulled out, inhaling deeply as he watched his cum leak out of Hide. Maybe he should have used a condom. _‘-then Hide came along and you have the sex drive of a wild animal-’_  though he had to admit, he liked coming inside Hide. _‘... you’re so perverse...’_  
  
“Stop listening to my thoughts,” Haise wrinkled his nose, pouting slightly as he leaned forward to give Hide a delicate and slow kiss. “-Take more than ten minutes. I need to finish my report, and you probably... need a bath…” His lips brushed the former blonds as he smiled sheepishly “I’ll do the laundry and make you some food while you’re in the tub before I get back to work” He was grinning ear to ear when he started trailing kisses over his boyfriend's cheek, willing away the pain in his head as his Kagune receded, the half-ghoul just utterly delighted he hadn’t done any harm to his lover. 

* * *

“Wait, what, no,” Hide wrapped his arms and legs around his boyfriend like a large, pink koala. “No leaving. This is a cuddles-only zone. No reporting allowed.”

The half-ghoul laughed- inciting a wonderfully warm and fuzzy feeling in Hide’s belly- and pressed butterfly kisses against Hide’s nose. “It won’t take me that long to finish my report. And after all that work, I am certain you’re hungry…”

Hide’s stomach took that moment to be the perfect time to rumble loudly. _The traitor._

Hide grumbled to himself and allowed his lover to rise, reluctantly.

After a few moments of staring after Haise, hoping for a show- and a pointed look from the other-, Hide sat up and stood.

With a wince, Hide fumbled for a pair of boxes and shuffled as quickly as he could into the bathroom.

The warm water was heavenly around his body, and with a delighted sigh the former blond sank into it (ignoring the color it turned as soon as it touched his hair).

He must have fallen into a light doze, because he startled, splashing water onto the floor, at a light tapping at the door.

Hide surged upwards, ignored the protest in his hips, grabbed his towel, stepped out of the tub-

and promptly collapsed under his own weight with a curse.

“I’m fine!” He called aloud, and muttered, “Goddammit, apparently I need a _cane_ , now…”

* * *

Haise knocked politely, eyes widening when he heard the other hurriedly move from inside the tub, water sloshing. He hoped that Hide hadn’t dozed off in there, because sleeping in the bath was dangerous, he could drown!

“H-Hide?” Haise pressed his hands to the door, ear a hairs length from the dark woods, blinking rapidly as he tried to hear what was- “Oh!’ He winced, pulling back with a sympathetic look on his face as he heard the other fall to the floor.

 _‘He’s not fine.’_ Haise worried his lip with his teeth, blushing as he heard his boyfriend grumble about a cane.  
  
Without asking, Haise opened the door, peeking in with a nervous smile. “A-are you sure?” He looked over the former blond, dripping wet and slumped on the bathroom floor, his stomach doing flips as he thought of the reason why.  
  
 _‘Just... go help him, he’s embarrassing to look at.’_  
  
“Well, it’s our fault you know…” Haise muttered, quickly entering the restroom, ignoring any sound from Hide.  
  
 _‘YOUR fault. In case you don’t remember I didn’t have much fun, because I was busy keeping you from losing your mind over sex.'_  
  
“Oh shut up,” Haise sighed, kneeling down beside Hide, placing a hand on his shoulder as he carefully wound the other around his waist. “Just lean on me okay…”

* * *

“I’m really fine!” Hide protested, trying to wave the ghoul away. “No really this is not half as bad as last time. I almost collapsed in the middle of a crosswalk, haha.”

At Haise’s panicked expression, Hide forced a loud laugh. “Kidding, kidding! I really should not to talk, err, joke about things like that.” The former blond coughed and quickly changed the subject.

“So, dearest waifu, what did you make me for dinner today?” After a moment’s thought, Hide’s expression turned to puzzled. “Wait if you are the waifu does that mean we are into pegging? And Kaneki I _know_ you know what that means, I rickrolled you with way too many pegging videos for you to fake innocence.”

* * *

Haise could feel that pang of jealousy in his heart again, arm tightening around Hide, mind racing as he tried to play off his boyfriend's little joke. Haise hoisted him up, Kaneki wondering if Haise would be so jealous if he’d slept with Hide back when they were younger, but Haise could only roll his eyes. He felt inexperienced, and envious that there were others in Hide's life that had touched the blond in the most intimate ways, but if it had been Kaneki... it still would have been this body... these hands. 

As Hide spoke, Haise blinked, holding him close so he wouldn’t fall, hand soothingly rubbing at his lower back. Pegging? What the heck was pegging?

Kaneki sputtered when he was addressed, clamping his mouth shut before staring off into the dark expanse of his mind with a red expression.   
  
Haise was no expert in sex terminology, but he could guess as to what ‘pegging’ suggested, and Kaneki's hurried encyclopedia-like explanation only confirmed his guess.   
  
“I- I made you soup and a sandwich... it’s not super fancy,” He swallowed, face burning bright red, setting Hide up against the counter. “I’ll get you some clothes…” His hand lingered on Hide's hip, the investigator pausing before leaning in to gently press his lips against his lover's, breathing his next words with a giddy flutter in his stomach. “You better step up your game as my husband”   
  
It was a joke, but it came out more serious than Haise intended, Kaneki staring in mild surprise.  
  
“Ah... be right back,” he blinked, quickly pulling away to rush out of the bathroom.

* * *

Hide grinned as Haise’s face turned several interesting shades of red. The sight had almost been worth the blow to his pride at how easily his boyfreind had picked him up and carried him bridal style down the steps.

Then again, Hide knew very well the toned abs and stomach that had come with the ghoul strength… and the way they looked bent over him, pounding into his ass...

Catching himself, he rubbed off the bit of drool, shook the fantasy away, and checked the time. Just past two o’ clock. If he ate fast, they could probably manage a quickie in the kitchen before the qui-

Suddenly Haise’s lips were pressed against his own, completely derailing his train of thought. Hide had just closed his eyes and begun to press back when the ghoul stepped away and smiled mischieviously. “You better step up your game as my husband.”

Hide blinked as his boyfriend rushed out of the room. “.... Ohh I can't  _not_ fuck him.”

* * *

Haise gathered up what he needed and brought it back to  Hide...who had the strangest look on his face. It wasn’t long until the other looked half decent, the clothes sticking to his body in places where he was still wet, Haise thinking that maybe he should have a shower soon. He'd do that while Hide was eating maybe.

"The soup I made is corn chowder… Saiko really likes it, so I was thinking you might like it too," he smiled, running his fingers through his slightly disheveled hair, the wig from earlier having gone and messed it up. "And the sandwich is Turkey and avocado... Mutsuki likes those on the side..." He straightened out Hide's shirt, smoothing his hands over the other's stomach before bring a hand up to play with the slightly-grey-tinged blond hair. "...it's going back to normal..." Haise licked his lips, laughing a little. "Kaneki said he was starting to like it a while ago."

* * *

Hide thought about blurting out the elaborate fantasy he’d concocted (it involved dragons and Kaneki in a sailor moon outfit and kitchen-counter sex) but instead he continued munching on his sandwich.

The former blond leaned into Haise’s touch like a cat. “Well, obviously,” Hide said through a mouthful of sandwich, before swallowing. “We’ve been friends since we were like, two days old, so he’s obviously got some good taste to be hanging out with me for so long. _Hai_ -say just give it some time and your taste will be just as good.” Hide turned and grinned and his boyfriend.

* * *

Haise rolled his eyes, Kaneki mimicking him with a small smile, muttering about how Hide was exaggerating. Again a small pang of jealousy bubbled in his stomach, Kaneki quickly tending to him with small reassuring comments like, “Stop being stupid,” and “Hide is just joking around.”

Very helpful.  
  
“My _taste_ is fine as it is,” He rolled his shoulders, placing his hands on his hips before turning his back to Hide. “I’m going to go have a shower. You eat,” He took a few steps before turning. “I don’t know when the Quinx should be home, so if you could tell them there’s more soup on the stove, and sandwiches in the fridge , that would be great. I’m going to finish my report after I’m done cleaning up,” and with that he went off to the bathroom, Kaneki piping up about only meeting Hide in his earlier days of grade school.    
  
  
\- - - - -  - - - -  - - -   
  
  
Haise stood in the shower, leaning against the cool tiles, arm reaching behind him awkwardly. “So…” he swallowed, his recently conditioned hair sticking to his cheeks as he tipped his head forward. “Kaneki…” His fingers pressed nervously over his spine, the investigator wincing from the contact, teeth sinking in to his bottom lip as Kaneki replied almost hesitantly.  
  
 _‘You’ve been acting weird since we left Hide downstairs... what is it?’_  
  
Haise looked to the side, brow creasing. “I was wondering... what we are.”  
  
 _‘I don’t get it...’_  
  
“I mean... Hide loves both of us, and we obviously love him... but what are we to each other.” He swallowed, trying to will away his nervousness. “You... touch me really intimately... I mean... it’s in my head, but I can still feel it. I don’t know if you’re doing it for my benefit, or yours... a- are we dating too?” He wanted to punch himself in the face, the blush crossing over his features not exactly visible to Kaneki, but the ghoul could probably feel how embarrassed he was.   
  
_‘Is that... what you’ve been nervous about?’_  
  
“You make it sound like I’m being stupid…” Haise huffed, nails biting in to his skin, his fingers beginning to rub slow circles into the sensitive area of his back. “You wouldn’t normally accept me in to a relationship with Hide if this body was just yours right? What am I supposed to think…”   
  
Kaneki was silent, the investigator gasping as his back tingled in a delightful way.  
  
“The kagune... Normally I have such trouble controlling it, but when you hold me and help me it gets so much easier... I’m normally so scared to use it, and to bring it out around Hide…” He swallowed, dick twitching at the thought of what he’d done to the blond this afternoon. “With you there, it gets so much easier... like you’re doing it yourself... taking over- and that scares me too. Like how you help me control myself is by taking control yourself-and I’m afraid you’ll do it... and leave me behind.”  
  
 _‘Haise...’_  
  
“I’ve been scared of you from the start... how my eyes and head hurts... and that monstrous ghoul that creeps in and causes me to lose it... the clicking in my ear. Neither of us want to disappear, and we’ve been working together, but is that enough? Are you okay with this... are you okay with me”  
  
 _‘I’m not happy... I want my own body, but Haise I won’t kill you... Hide likes you so I-_ ’  
  
“But you don’t.”  
  
 _‘-let me finish... Hide likes you, so of course I’d come to like you as well. Anyone else with a voice in their head would try to get rid of it, don’t you think?’_  
  
“...So it’s okay to like you too?”  
  
 _‘If we both want to be with Hide I don’t see why not.’_  
  
Haise closed his eyes, chest aching as his back squirmed, Kaneki winding long pale arms around him... the child no longer standing in front of his mind's eye.  
  
 _‘I really don’t have my own body, but if you’ll lend me a bit of control...’_  
  
Haise froze, Kaneki's hands slowly running down over his shoulder blades, then down his back, finally coming to rest over the area where his own hand was.  
  
 _‘You don’t even need to focus on controlling it... I’ll do all the work.’_  
  
Haise shivered, feeling the skin split open, taking a shaky step from the tiled wall to give the kagune room to slip out and slowly wind around his torso and legs. Before he could even think about giving himself over to Kaneki, the ghoul was already hungrily kissing his neck, Haise worriedly staring ahead of him as the soft laughter of the thing they both feared echoed behind him.  
  
 _‘Don’t worry. I’m here. I have control... I can protect you, Haise’_  
  
“Kaneki-” He gasped, shuddering as a kagune wound around his cock, squeezing and squishing it slowly. He wanted to reach out and hold on to a physical body, but all he could do was cling to the figment in his head, knees shaking as the bite from Kaneki's aggressive kisses translated in to a light tingling along his throat and shoulder. “Sh- shit,” he could feel himself getting hard, choking down a moan as he once again let his back fall against the wall, kagune wriggling and pulsing under his weight.   
  
_‘There’s no lube in here, so I can only do this much for now.’_  
  
He could feel one of the deep red appendages slip down his front and curl under him, worming it’s way between his legs to run up the curve of his ass, Haise rolling his hips in an attempt to get some friction.   
  
“K- Kaneki, please…” Haise grabbed at the tentacle that completely covered his length, fingers sinking into the soft muscle, bleary eyes blinking frantically as he stared down at the constantly winding kagune. They twitched and quivered over his skin, another one coming from behind to gently circle his neck, tipping his head back against the wall so he could no longer see the erotic display between his legs.  
  
 _‘J- just calm down... it’s hard for me to do this when you’re trying to overpower me.’_   
  
Haise swallowed, tears welling up as the kagune began to quickly stroke him, pulling and massaging his throbbing member in a twisting motion, preventing any warm water from touching his cock slick with precum; consuming him in it’s heat completely over and over again.  
  
“Ka... Kan- eki,” Haise gasped, shaking as the ghoul whispered sweet nothings in his ear, telling him how well he was doing... how good he was... the usual. Kaneki would tell him these things when they were with Hide, drinking the blond down, or most recently fucking him into the mattress... but now…  
  
 _‘You’re so cute.’_  
  
Haise sucked back his spit, his saliva already pooling in his mouth, kakugan flickering to life as his orgasm dragged its nails along his insides, begging for release.  
  
 _‘You’re close right? Come for me Haise...say my name,’_  
  
“Ka- Kane…” His legs were trembling, the investigator thrusting into the kagune's touch, shaky fingers massaging the flesh as it continued to pleasure him. "Kane-” He couldn’t catch his breath, slipping down the wall some as his knees threatened to give out. “- yes!” His mouth split into a grin, eyes rolling in to the back of his head, his climax making him see white.   
  
A kagune moved from being wound around his leg to press against the floor of the tub, helping to keep Haise from falling down, the investigator jerking and spasming every now and then as the ministrations on his softening member continued despite his orgasm already having come and gone.  
  
 _‘Was it good?’_  
  
“Y- yeah…” Haise gasped, chest heaving, shutting his eyes as he gently pried the kagune from his dick. “That was... different…”  
  
 _‘But not bad.’_  
  
“No... not bad…”

* * *

Hide munched happily on his sandwich, occasionally sipping a bit of soup. When he’d nearly finished it, a thought struck him that stopped him short.

Did… did he remember to take his medicine this morning? He… Thought he could remember doing so,  but after the past few nights of having his sleep interrupted to stare at the ceiling for an hour, feeling nauseous (but thankfully nothing so bad as the first night…), Hide could be forgiven for feeling a little forgetful.

With a small sigh, Hide put down his sandwich and rose to get his pills. Haise probably would have left the room already, what with how quickly he undressed when they, erm, _got busy_.

Hide could just pop in, grab his pills, count to make sure, and be back to finish his sandwich before Haise would even noti-

“PAPA!” Saiko stormed the doorway and threw herself at Hide, knocking them both to the ground. “Make him _stop. Don’t let him bully me, Papa._ ”

Mutsuki quietly followed the blue-haired girl inside, carefully shutting the door with a snap. “I’m not bullying you, I’m just reminding you that we have another progress report on Tor- um, the ghoul we’ve been tracking, due in a few days. You _told_ me to remind you, so you wouldn’t be rushing like you were on the last report.”

Saiko gave Hide her best pleading look. Under the deluge of cute, he couldn’t help but melt. “She’s got a few days left to work on it, right Tooru-kun? Surely one night off couldn’t hurt-”

Ignoring Mutsuki’s further protesting, Saiko ran upstairs, chanting loudly something about yaoi videogames.

Hide shrugged apologetically. “Sorry man, I tried to stop her, but she was just too much for me.”

Mutsuki frowned. “She just… looked at you.”

“She is… very persuasive.”

Tooru was left murmuring to himself as Saiko reappeared with a handful of game cartridges and two video game consoles, and swept Hide away. “Persuasive…?”

An hour or so later Haise arrived downstairs to see Hide and Saiko lazily splayed  across opposite ends of the couches, and just in time to hear Hide’s comment of, “Damn, that is an impressive wienerschnitzel.”

“Wh- what?!”  

Hide looked up from his game and batted his eyes innocently. “Cooking mama. Why, what did you think I was playing, honey buns?”

* * *

Haise wore a loose necked shirt, the grey colour contrasting against the bright pink of his track pants, barefeet padding against the wood as he came to stand beside Hide. “You know exactly… never mind” He leaned over, kissing his boyfriend on the forehead, Saiko staring with narrowed eyes from behind her game console. Haise looked over to her with a small bashful smile. “Did you have any soup? Did you find the sandwiches in the fridge?”

“Yes,” She spoke through a small smile. “It was really good.” 

Kaneki loomed, Haise feeling as if the ghoul was breathing down his neck now after their little revelation. The investigator cleared his throat as he moved to the kitchen. Of course there were a few dishes left out by the sink, so he busied himself washing them, looking back over his shoulder. “What would you like for dinner? Any ideas?”   
  
“What about fish?” Mutsuki piped up, Saiko whining about fried chicken with sweet lemon sauce in the background.

* * *

Hide shrugged and tried to fight down a case of the giggles. _Wienerschnitzel._ The funniest of double entendres.

“What do _you_ think, Papa?” Saiko said, leaning close and blinking cutely. “Icky fish or delicious fried chicken for dinner tonight night. You are the tie breaker.”

“Ummm…” Hide glanced between the two quinxes, and back to his boyfriend. “... We could have one for lunch tomorrow and the other for dinner… Or we could always go out to eat and get both, I guess…”

* * *

Haise smiled to himself, a little too eagerly turning to look over at Hide. “I know a great place!” His eyes lit up, the towel in his hand dripping water, a small blush on his face as he reeled back his enthusiasm. “I mean... I’ve heard great things…”

The only reason he ever knew where to take the Quinx and his colleagues for a really good meal was because of Akira…

“I think Urie and Shirazu would like it too... are they even home?”  
  
“Not yet,” Mutsuki supplied, Saiko moving to lay sprawled out on the loveseat as she called out, “But you always take us to fancy places. I want a burgerrrrr.”

* * *

Hide clapped his hands together excitedly. “Okay then! You guys can go and get burgers, and then Mutsuki and I can go get something fancy! How does that sound!”

Mutsuki froze and made a face not unlike a deer in headlights. “I… I don’t think… You don’t have to do that for…”

“Nonsense, it’ll be a good chance for us to get to know one and have a nice chat!”

“You know,” Tooru said, laughing nervously, “I kind of feel like burgers now. What a shame.”

Hide deflated and pouted. “.... You never want to do anything fun. First you won’t let me drive, now you don’t want a father-son bond…”

“I- your medication specifically says that you should not operate heavy machinery! You can’t just disregard your doctor’s orders-”

* * *

Haise stared between all of them with a small frown, Saiko letting out a whine before speaking up again. “I don’t want to get dressed though… Can we just order delivery?” 

“We do have our reports to hand in…”  
  
“Alright then,” Haise's expression fell, a softer more bashful smile stretching over his lips. “You guys can order takeout...” He turned back to the sink, finishing up the last few bowls left in the bottom. “I’ll be taking Hide out tonight though”  
  
“Oooh, a date!” Saiko cheered, winking rather obviously at Hide as Mutsuki flustered.  
  
“Just, be sure to order enough for Urie and Shirazu too, will you?”

* * *

Hide glanced up at Haise’s announcement of their evening plans. Catching the ghoul’s eye, Hide sent his brightest, most affectionate smile until his boyfriend glanced away, cheeks a light pink.

The former blonde was so caught up in the sight he completely failed to notice Saiko’s exaggerated wink. “All right, sure. Date night it is.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MFA: so are y'all ready for us to stop using the phrase "former blond" because I know I sure as hell am  
> but hey at least we finally got to the Sasaneki ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MFA: uh oh... we're catching up to our current place in the rp... ;A;

Half an hour later and a bit of cash poorer, Hide and Haise arrived at a fairly nice restaurant Hide had noticed while wandering the streets with Saiko.

“- I still think it would have been fine to go to the one Akira suggested. She said their food is good, and is a reasonable price for how nice the place is-”

“-but you both have the day off today, and with my luck we would run into her, and it would just be super mega weird for everyone involved-”

“... Can I help you two gentleman?” The hostess nervously cut in, hands protectively holding two menus against her chest.

* * *

Haise sighed, following after Hide as he smiled politely at the waiter, telling him they needed a table for two. Haise quickly requested a booth at the back of the restaurant, looking around nervously as the other customers (even though there were very few)

“I don’t think that would have happened…” He scratched his cheek, nervously smiling as he tanked the waiter, taking a seat across from Hide. “It would kind of be a disaster if she showed up…” He pulled at his black dress shirt, the top button popping open.

Was it hot in here, or was Haise just nervous.

 _‘Why are you being so skittish?’_  
  
Haise bit the inside of his cheek, trying not to talk to Kaneki out loud like he was falling in to a habit of doing. He spoke internally, telling Kaneki that the restaurant had private rooms for meetings or more intimate dinners. Sure the waitress or waiter would have looked at him and Hide funny, but they would have still been alone…  
  
He didn’t want it to look like he was on a date with Hide, not now that he was actively thinking about doing date sort of things.  
  
 _‘Like what things?’_  
  
“Holding hands…” Haise murmured, cheek red, teeth sinking into his tongue as he reminded himself he was in public.  
  
 _‘You held Hide's hand in a coffee shop before.’_  
  
That was more of a friendly gesture then... Now they were dating…  
  
“What are you going to eat?” Haise wondered, looking down at the wine selection at the back of the menu.

* * *

Hide flipped through the menu, frowning in concentration. The sushi all looked very good, as did the noodles and miso and udon…

The former blond flipped through each of the pages, torn.

He nearly started at his boyfriend’s question. “Oh, I don’t know. It all looks pretty good. I’m feeling something traditional so I’ll probably just get some shrimp udon.” Hide glanced up absently, noticing for the first time that Haise was on a different beverage page than he was expecting. “Oh, you’re going to drink? Let me know if we need to call a cab, because I don’t recall Kaneki being particularly good at holding his alcohol…”

After a moment’s thought, Hide snorted in laughter. “Not that I have any room to talk, of course…”

* * *

Haise blushed, quickly closing the menu, the only two wines displayed not being very good. There were a few fruity drinks and Sake, but Haise probably shouldn’t have expected an entire collection of wine from a place like this.

“I- I drink with colleagues... I think I’m capable of holding my own.” Mostly a lie... Unless he managed to keep it down to one glass... But given how he wanted his hands and mouth to be busy so he didn’t spout embarrassing shit, he doubted it was just going to be one drink.  
  
 _‘You are kind of a lightweight...’_  
  
“Shut up,” Haise breathed, running hand back through his darkening hair, speaking up louder. “That does sound good... I think I may get a slightly less awful white wine they have…”

* * *

“...If you say so,” Hide replied dubiously. While it was nice to see that some of Kaneki’s habits held over, Hide couldn’t help but be a bit concerned that Haise would start unconsciously rubbing his chin at a time like this…

Hide shook off that thought. If it was something bad, Haise would say something about it. Knowing his boyfriend, he was probably just overstating the amount of drinking experience he’d had.

And from the one or two times Hide had been out with Akira, he couldn’t blame Haise. That woman needed a babysitter after a single drink, and what with Haise’s motherly tendencies..

“You are adorable,” Hide said, reaching over to run a single finger across Haise’s hand. “Don’t go too crazy, now…”

At the clearing of a throat, Hide removed his hand and ordered his food and drink with a charming smile to the waiter.

* * *

Haise tried to fight down his blush, tongue poking out to run along his bottom lip, his hands twitching as Hide complimented him and touched him. Every time he made contact with Hide... It was like warm waves of tingles ran up his spine, and his heart would clench in his chest... He was just...

"You're head over heels."  

Haise smiled at Hide, not even bothering to look at the waiter as he asked for the entire bottle of wine, adding a polite thank you at the end.

He couldn't help but tease Kaneki back saying he was just as bad... If not worse off than he was.

"I'll try to keep myself in check. It's okay to let loose every now and then."

* * *

Hide tried to hide his surprise at the name of Haise’s order as best he could. Trying to seem nonchalant, he ordered an extra water in addition to the wine.

He really hoped Haise was less of a… party drunk than Hide himself was, because if he correctly recognized the wine the ghoul had ordered than _hoo boy_ , this was going to be an interesting night.

“So, what lead to this decision?” Hide said after the waiter had left with their menus. “You seem a bit… blushy tonight…. Is Kaneki telling you something dirty? Because whatever it is, I deny it. I was a perfect angel around him, except for that one time which we will not talk about.”

* * *

He looked down at the table, his heart hammering away, a small bashful smile on his face as Kaneki laughed at his embarrassment. Haise was certain that if the other was in his shoes he definitely would not be snickering at him. The white-haired bastard was getting cocky, and much too comfortable being able to say what ever he wanted.

 ****_'You're like some blushing bride who just lost her virginity'._

Haise laughed as Hide suggested Kaneki was saying something dirty to him, the ghoul continuing on to tease him about going through a honeymoon phase, one of which he was more than certain Hide would be all for.

"No he's not being a pervert..." Haise's eyes lit up with humour, staring at Hide expectantly "I do want to know what sort of things the sweet and innocent Hide was up to"

 _'O_ _h god.'_

Haise flipped his hand up, curling his fingers into Hide's, the tips running along to graze his palm.

He supposed things were different now. He felt accepted by Kaneki... Like he was finally able to love Hide. Like he could come to love Kaneki too... Like he could love everything that he was and reach out to the blond with open arms.

 **** _'You're such a romantic.'_   Kaneki's expression cracked to show a nervous stare, cheeks glowing a faint pink.

So what if he was, with all the novels that somehow appeared in the others hands, he could only assume he was a romantic as well... at least to some degree.

"I'm always on the butt end of Kaneki's jokes. Tell me just what you two got up too. I need some dirt on him."

* * *

“Oh my god, I practically have a list,” Hide mimed pulling a large scroll out of his pocket, cleared his throat, and began to speak. “There is the time that Kaneki got really into those Voca-whatever anime girls, and I borrowed the costume from my cousin-” Hide snorted inelegantly in laughter at the memory, “and showed up at his door dressed as his favorite girl with tickets to the con, and I swear he just about jizzed his pants. And for weeks afterward he would like, pretend to nonchalantly bring her up, asking if I’d seen her video, and be all, ‘maybe we could do a fanvideo of her songs. But you would have to dress up as Hatsuko whatever-”

 ****_'First of all, it was Vocaloid and not nearly as pervy as Hide is making it sound, and secondly he pulled off the Hatsune Miku costume really well and we could have been internet famous.'_

“Oh, and then there was the first time I showed him yaoi-”

* * *

Haise didn't really know what Hide was talking about exactly, but the way Kaneki reacted made him certain it was very embarrassing, laughing as he thought that once again they shared something in common; an affinity for Hide dressed up just for them.

"No doubt he had tons of doujinshi. Saiko has them hidden all over the house. I honestly think Kaneki would have been worse." His eyes curved, Kaneki trying to defend himself with little success.

"Sir, your wine."

Haise looked up to see the offered bottle, the waiter staring at them with a tight smile.

"Thank you," Haise happily took it, immediately popping the cork off to pour a bit for himself before asking Hide. "-not to distract you from embarrassing Kaneki, but would you like some? Or are you my designated babysitter tonight?"

* * *

“Oh trust me, I know all about Saiko’s doujinshi. Hell, I may have contributed a few pointers to the ones she is currently writing-”

“-wait you what-”

Hide coughed loudly. “SO, how’s the wine? Not to, um, fruity tasting or strong, oh look our neighbors just got food and we didn’t how terrible.”

Hide’s eyes bulged as the ghoul took a long swig of wine. “You, uh, you wanna slow down there, slugger? We have all night, after all…”

* * *

Haise downed the alcohol, immediately refilling his glass, looking Hide dead in the eyes with a smile. "I'll be fine!" He knew it was a lie, but with a bit of alcohol came confidence.

 ****_'And with too much you-'_

Haise cut him off, taking another swig of his wine as the waiter finally arrived at the table with a very large bowl of soup for Hide. Haise watched the broth bubble, the noodle curling and twisting front the still boiling liquid.

The shrimp and veggies looked pretty good too...

"I wish I could eat food," He muttered only after the waiter had left them, resting his chin on his hand. "It looks so good."

* * *

Hide laughed and nudged the glass of water closer to Haise with a knowing look. “Come on, wine mom. Both of those things could lead to you throwing up.”

The former blond leaned in closer and whispered urgently. “Can you even drink wine? Are you okay? I thought you couldn’t eat-”

* * *

"Alcohol is a bit different!" Haise smiled, taking the glass pushed towards him with a thank you. "-alcohol in general makes you feel unwell, and there isn't enough grape in it to really effect my health overall... Which is why it's okay now and then, right?" He glanced at the bottle. "I can barely stand the taste... But it's nice when you get warm... Besides, doesn't everyone feel like throwing up after drinking?"

He was mumbling now, brow creasing as he ran his free hand over his stomach, looking back to Hides food after a moment.

"I wonder if Kaneki remembers..."

_'What it tastes like right? No...'_

"Too bad..." Haise looked up to Hide's face, cheeks tinted red, and he wasn't sure if it was from the alcohol or the slight embarrassment from what he was about to say next. "At least you taste good." His eyes narrowed, smile stretching wider as he lifted his foot to brush up against Hide's leg.

* * *

Hide choked on a spoonful of udon, and he could not tell if it was from Haise’s leg, or the words out of his mouth. “You, that’s…” Hide could feel his face and neck flame red as his eyes slid down to his food. “Not so loud, someone might hear you…”

Despite what he’d said, a quick glance out of the corner of his eye disproved that statement. They had arrived at the lull of customers, too late for lunch but just a tad too early for dinner.

Apart from their server, who had disappeared back into the kitchen and the hostess lazily playing a game on her phone, their corner of the restaurant was almost completely empty.

Hide hastily cleared his throat. “If you are going to be like that, I’m going to have to punish you. Just you wait and see.”

* * *

Haise watched Hide fluster about with an affectionate grin, foot traveling further up, reaching Hides knee before he gently shifted it to just barely touch at his inner thigh.

"Hmm, well that'll have to wait till later" Haise touched the wine bottle, not bothering to drink the water despite it being close to his hand "Do you like your soup?" He laughed a little, bringing his foot away."Sorry, I'll stop, this is a restaurant after all."

Kaneki was silent, fingers running over Haises back, leaving a pleasant physical tingle down his spine. "I'm just excited to take you on a date."

* * *

Hide’s breath caught as Haise’s foot moved further up. The light touch sent a tingle through him, reminding him of earlier that day… Of their … _activities_ …

Hide bit his lip, and had just begun to persuade himself that the place was empty enough when Haise pulled away. He blinked, and stared like a slack-jawed idiot for a long moment.

“I- yeah, restaurant, haha. We should… should definitely stop.”

The former blond scooted forwards so his knee touched the ghouls, pressing them hard against each other… and busied himself with his food, noisily slurping down a noodle.

 

“Aren’t you going to drink some water?” Hide said with an innocent look.

* * *

Haise swallowed when Hide moved forward, Kaneki's lips pressing against the back of his neck softly, the ghoul turning his head to rest it against the investigator's shoulder. He swore he could actually feel the other's warmth, those thin yet muscular arms winding around his torso, back curving perfectly to his front. 

Haise pointedly lifted the water glass, continuing to smile at Hide as he brought it to his lips, taking a sip with a relieved sigh. Alcohol really wasn’t all that great.  
  
Putting it back down with a small clack, Haise leaned forward, planting his elbows on the table, and his chin in his palms. He watched Hide take another few noodles, tapping his foot idly, nails digging into his cheeks ever so slightly as they burned from his drink. Hide had perfect lips... And Kaneki agreed, nodding his head slowly as he held Haise loosely.  
  
“Definitely,” his voice was soft, just barely above a whisper as his foot brushed Hide's ankle again, his knee turning as he brought his foot half way up Hide's calve.

* * *

Hide leaned forward and stole Haise’s wine, taking a long swig. _Maybe, just maybe, if I drink it faster than he does he may be able to avoid the dreaded “white girl wasted” zone he seems to be headed for._

Hide winced at the taste and passed the wine back. “Ugh, remind me to never let you pick the wines. Or wait does that mean I should buy you a wine tasting book for your birthday…?”

Hide snapped his fingers and pointed at his boyfriend. “Forget about what I just said. And then please remind me of when it is so I can buy you a present. Which will be totally unrelated to what I was just thinking aloud about.”

* * *

Haise listened to Hide babble on, his foot moving to push against the booth seat between the blond's legs, a sweet smile pulling at his lips. “It mostly all tastes the same... Some less… Gross than others.” He hummed, no longer moving his leg or foot. “But it would be interesting to read up on all the different kinds of wine.” 

He tipped his foot forward, just barely touching Hide's crotch, Kaneki clicking his tongue in his ear.  
  
 _‘Get your foot out of there before the waiter comes by.’_  
  
“I should…” Haise sighed, though he made no move to remove his foot.  
  
 _‘Unfortunately I don’t get to feel the wonders of alcohol.’_  
  
“My birthday’s April the 2nd... It’s a bit... different from Kaneki's. But that only means two birthdays for us,” He grinned “When’s your birthday Hi-de?” He pushed his foot forward just a bit more.  
  
“Excuse me” Haise turned his head, looking up to the waiter standing nearby with a polite smile. “Is everything going alright?”  
  
“Yes, thank you.” Haise looked to Hide now, keeping his foot still. “Right, Hide?”

* * *

Hide’s breath left him in a gasp, as he resisted the urge the urge to drop a hand down and press Haise’s foot hard against the interested bulge in his underwear.

“I… uhh….” Haise’s foot pressed closer, and Hide felt as though his teeth would bite through his lip at this rate.

Hide grinned as charmingly as he could at the waiter. “We’re fine, really. Actually, could we get another glass of water, please…?”

After the waiter had walked away, Hide- granted, somewhat reluctantly- pushed Haise’s foot away. “ _Dear._ ” He said, still smiling. “I see you are... that kind of drunk person. Maybe we should hold off from anymore wine, before we do something we regret…?” Hide reached forward for the wine glass.

* * *

Haise was almost pouting, pulling his feet back to himself, though his knees remained firmly pushed up against Hide's. “I’m not drunk.” He glanced to the side, turning his face to watch the waiter pour another glass of water by the bar, sighing before resting his head on a single hand, bringing the other to lift his already half empty glass to his lips. “Maybe a little _tipsy_ , but-”

 _‘You’re drunk.’_  
  
“No one asked you,” Haise whispered, tipping the cup back to down what was left of the water, licking his lip as Kaneki spoke in his ear. “Though, we will probably have to take a cab... unless- can you really drive, Hide?” Haise blinked. “You said you wanted to drive before, right?”

* * *

“Umm, ‘able to drive’ may be exaggerating a tad, haha,” Hide coughed furiously into his arm. “I may or may not have never learned to drive  SO, calling a cab would probably be best. Preferable, even.” Hide coughed again. “And sorry honey, I hate to break it to you, but you are wine mom drunk.”

The former blond took another long swig of wine, savoring the burning taste in his mouth and the warm feeling in his stomach. “Oh man,” he whispered to himself, “something tells me that we are going to have some _very_ dirty sex tonight.”

* * *

Haise felt his cheeks warm, not exactly sure what the term ‘wine mom’ meant, but he supposed he did have a lot of ‘kids’. The thought made him laugh, stifling the small giggle behind a few fingers, Kaneki nuzzling the side of his head.

He didn’t miss Hide whispering to himself, eyes trained on the way the blond said sex, a warm swelling feeling growing in his gut. “Dirty sex…” he repeated dreamily, jumping as someone spoke beside him.  
  
“Here’s your water,” Haise was caught off guard for the second time by the waiter, his heart hammering in his chest and cheeks heating even more. “Anything else I can get you gentlemen?”  
  
‘N- no, we’re fine.” Haise said, slurring a bit and cleared his throat. “Maybe the check... In a few minutes?”

* * *

“That would probably be for the best,” Hide murmured, staring at the bottle of wine. Haise had drunk that _awful_ fast…

 _So much for plan avoid white girl wasted,_ He thought, watching as the ghoul giggled to himself.

“April 31st,” Hide piped in. “Since Kaneki probably forgot to mention it.”

Unbeknownst to Hide, a soft tinkling noise heralded the arrival of two more customers, with strangely colorful hair…

* * *

Haise continued to smile, Kaneki whispering that he would have told him when it was if he’d just asked, fingers drawing slow circles over his stomach. “I’m sure Saiko would be interested to find out when your birthday is.” He scooted forward a bit, reaching across the table to lazily take Hide's hand. “We could throw you a party... with streamers, and cake…” 

They never did that with any of the Quinx... None of them seemed like they would have particularly enjoyed that sort of thing. Well... Maybe Saiko, but that’s why he was planning to ask her to help make plans... Maybe.

  
“Ahh... Such a lovely atmosphere,” A rather loud voice sounded from not to far away, Haise rolling his head to look over at a man wearing a brightly-coloured shirt... With hair just as vibrant.  
  
Kaneki froze, clawing at Haise's stomach, the investigator wincing as the warm tingles setting off his nerves turned into a faint stinging.   
  
_‘Why is Tsuki-Haise, don’t look at him.’_  Kaneki spoke low, almost as if he were in a calm panic. _‘Hide your face before he sees-’_  
  
It was too late.  
  
Before Kaneki could even finish, that man was looking his way, Haise blinking rapidly as he quickly looked back to Hide; head spinning from the alcohol.   
  
_‘It’s time to leave, tell Hide to finish quick’_  
  
“Hide... erm... Kaneki… says we gotta go,” He tried to speak quietly, looking a bit disappointed that their date was being rushed to a close.

* * *

Hide looked up from his noodles and tilted his head. “Alright wine mom, but just for the record I did tell you to drink water…”

The former blond slurped up a noodle and made a shooing motion. “You go outside and… attempt to hail a taxi. I’ll finish this and get the bill. If you haven’t succeeded, I’ve got a taxi line number saved in my phone.”

After the ghoul had left, Hide picked up his bowl and began drinking his soup down as quickly as he could. He was nearly done when he noticed a presence at the table, and recognized the loud person who had just entered.

 **** _Oh no he’s hot._ “Umm, can I help you…?”

The guy smiled- very fakely- and Hide couldn’t help but notice the man seemed… a bit thin. Was he not eating enough?

“I just wanted to complement you on your hair- _bon choix_ in color. And I had a few questions for you…”

A few minutes later Hide left the restaurant, waving the bill. “So you’ll never guess what just happ- wait, what are you doing?”

* * *

Haise had spent a good ten minutes trying to wave down a taxi, five of those most recent minutes he’d spent sitting on his ass after tripping over his own feet, Kaneki telling him to sit on the curb to wait for Hide with a scolding yet concerned voice. 

  
 _‘... Are you okay?’_  
  
“I’m okay,” Haise muttered wiping away the pricking tears in his eyes, leaning himself against the car of some unknown citizen. He probably looked like some drunk... Well... Technically he was a drunk, but not like those hopeless down-on-their-luck guys.  
  
Upon hearing Hide's voice he looked up, sniffing as his hip throbbed, wanting to reach out for the blond but he simply stayed still. “I was waiting for you,” He stated matter-o-factly, as if laying against a car that wasn’t even your own on the side of the street wasn’t strange at all. “What took you so loooong,” Haise frowned, trying his best to push himself back on to his feet “The taxis all ignored me…”

* * *

Hide smiled kindly at Haise.“That might have been because they weren’t actually taxis, hun, but okay I will take your word for it. Hide to the rescue, with a taxi company phone number!”

As he searched through his phone for the number, the former blond idly stood next to and hip checked his boyfriend. “So I’m pretty sure I just met a ghoul, and he complimented me on my hair. It’s not just Kaneki who thinks it’s fly.”

Hide grinned and held the phone up to his ear as it rang, relaying their location. “..... Ok then, it should be here in about ten to fifteen minutes, in a white vehicle. Looks like we’ll have to find some way to amuse ourselves until then, however…”

* * *

Haise almost fell over again when Hide hip checked him, stumbling for a moment with a panicked expression, a hand reaching out to grab Hide's sleeve before he ate pavement. Hide spoke quietly on the phone, Haise huffing before he moved closer, nodding as Hide told him it’d be about ten to fifteen minutes before the cab actually showed up.

Curling his arms around the blonds, Haise laid his cheek on his shoulder, Kaneki practically radiating frustration.  
  
 _‘What did he say to him. Ask him Haise...’_  
  
The investigator was quiet, slowly blinking as he hugged Hides arm tightly, nuzzling his face closer as Kaneki repeated himself a little more slowly.  
  
“ ...heard you…” Haise muttered, lifting his head to stare at Hide through thick black lashes. “What did you talk about?”

* * *

“Heard what?” Hide asked, smiling down at his koala boyfriend. _Guess I might have been wrong about the sex thing, he just seems cuddly now…_

“Umm, I dunno, I kind of lost interest after he gave me a fake name and complimented my hair. I am 90% certain Ajin is like, a manga or something. Oh, he did ask if you were named Kaneki. I said no, was that ok?” Hide frowned.

At the time it had seemed prudent- the last thing an old acquaintance would probably want was to reconnect with a white-girl-wasted Haise, but Hide was _hardly_ a mind reader as far as he was aware.

* * *

Haise glanced to the side as Kaneki practically hissed in his ear, the stinging feeling of the ghouls nails in his stomach becoming even stronger. “I don’t want to know anyone from when Kaneki had this body…” he was still slurred, Kaneki staying silent as he continued. “Unless it’s you…”

He moved to wrap his arms around Hides shoulders, hugging him close as he went back to rubbing his face on the blonds shoulder. “Only you, Hide,” He hummed softly, pressing himself flush against his boyfriend, crushing him in his arms. “Juuust you,” he was smiling now, Kaneki's lips moving against the back of his throat, though Haise had no idea what he was talking to himself about... He was much too quiet.  
  
Until finally he spoke up. _‘Hide needs to-’_  
  
“Stay away from Tsukiyama…” Haise pressed his lips under Hide's ear, making direct eye contact with a passing pedestrian, cheeks glowing as they frowned at his actions; Haise paying no mind as he moved to press another kiss to Hide's jaw.

* * *

Hide bit his lip as Kaneki’s grip became tighter. A little pain was nice in the bedroom, but right now… “Loosen up, you goof, I can’t breathe,” He laughed quietly

Glancing around quickly- and deciding it really didn’t matter because who was going to attack a ghoul, seriously- Hide gently tugged Haise away from the street and the curious eyes of the public. “No being naughty,” Hide scolded, but its impact was lessened greatly by the grin he couldn’t fight down. “We are in public, and we don't want to scar some innocent schoolchildren for life…”

Despite his words, his eyes fluttered shut as Haise kissed his neck. “Tsukiyama…?” He whispered, mentally filing the name away. He could have sworn he heard it somewhere before, perhaps in passing…

Pushing it out of mind for now, Hide raised a hand to tilt Haise’s head up for a soft kiss. “Be good now,” The former blond whispered, “no listening to drunk Kaneki, because he is almost certainly a huge pervert…”

* * *

Haise returned the kiss eagerly, fingers curling into the back of Hide's shirt as he smiled against the blond's lips. “Kaneki doesn’t get drunk,” He was whispering, as if he were spilling Kaneki's secrets, yet either way Kaneki knew what he was saying. “If he tells me to do something ‘naughty’, it’s because he wants tooo,” Haise kissed Hide again, a little clumsily, but still firmly.

_‘Shut up... I’m not gonna tell you to do anything.’_

“Why not?” Haise pouted, kissing Hide's chin.  
  
 _‘Don’t talk back. Wait till we get back, then sleep this off...’_  
  
“...-on’t... wanna,” He said between kisses, speech soft. “-wanna... touch Hide,”  
  
 _‘Are you even capable of that, or will you fall over?’_  Kaneki soothed Haise's hips, the investigator laying his head back on Hide's shoulder yet again. _‘-now stop talking.’_  
  
“Then he can touch me,” Haise grinned ear to ear, swaying slightly.  
  
 _‘... where the hell is the cab...’_ Kaneki groaned. _‘Haise, tell Hide to take us to his house.’_  
  
“Hide, Kaneki wants to go to your house,” Haise nuzzled Hide's neck, kissing up to his ear.  
  
 _‘O-only because you can’t shut up. What will the Quinx think?’_  
  
Haise pressed his lips to Hide's ear, hot breath washing over his skin as he laughed breathily. “He’s afraid I’ll be too loud~”   
  
_‘Haise be quiet already-’_  
  
“Do you even have lube there-”  
  
 _‘Please shut up, you can’t even stand much less fuck someone.’_

* * *

“...... Oh my god you are the most hilarious wine mom ever.” Hide dissolved into giggles, breaking free from Haise to double over in laughter. “Is this what your conversations always sound like, oh my god I am dying.”

After a few moments of gasping for breath between his laughs, Hide straightened and wiped a tear from his eye. “Alright sure, my house it is, although I have no idea what you expect to do when we get there.” He nudged Haise slightly and watched the ghoul sway. “..... Actually, I have the best idea. Hey Kaneki, remember that one video I showed you with the girl in the red dress? Let’s watch it again! Only this time I can point and say hey it’s yoouuu.”

Hide snorted at his own joke and wrapped his arms around Haise’s shoulders, pressing forward into an open-mouthed kiss and grimacing mentally at the taste of wine.

 ****_Maybe I should pick up some more once I get home… It will certainly make the evening a lot more fun, but on the other hand Haise should probably not show up to work hungover…._

Breaking the kiss, Hide grinned. “Hey, are you doing anything important at work tomorrow?”

* * *

Haise was confused as to what video Hide was talking about, and he was about to ask as Kaneki's teeth clicked in mild annoyance, but before he could even get a syllable out Hide was kissing him. Haise sucked Hide's tongue into his mouth, pressing his own against the former blond's wet muscle, a soft moan bubbling in his throat as Hide pulled away, leaving him only wanting more. “Got... A lecture at four... Not too important, I’m just there as a guest speaker.” He licked his lips, curling his fingers into his boyfriend's hair.

“When we get there-” Haise smiled, kissing Hide with a smack. “We’re gonna get on your bed... And get naked,” He giggled at the last part, Kaneki groaning as he soothed his temples. “I didn’t get my dinner yet," He breathed.

 _'Oh my god, Haise’_  
  
“Kaneki’s hungry too~” He clung to the taller man smiling playfully.  
  
 _‘N- no I’m not! Stop speaking for me!’_  
  
“Shh, yes you are, you liar!”

* * *

“Guest speaker sounds important, but whatever. No more wine for you I guess. IN fact I should probably put on my adult hat and not encourage any more of this.” Hide scratched his chin thoughtfully. On the one hand, drunken shenanigans. On the other hand, white-girl-wasted Haise probably needed an at least sober-ish babysitter.

“...Ehh, fuck it, I’ll just see if I still have that bottle of wine from three months ago-”

“Hide,” Haise interrupted, nuzzling his face onto his boyfriend’s. “You aren’t reacting to what I said. About naked time. And feeding me.”

Hide felt his face flush a deep red. “Yeah that was on purpose, babe.” The former blond wrenched a hand free of Haise’s arms and reached up to pat him on the head. “No more wine for you, wine mom. Oh hey look, our ride’s here.”

Walking quickly, Hide tugged himself out of the ghoul’s grasp, caught his hand, and lightly tugged his stumbling lover into the direction of the described cab with the vaguely familiar sign on its car.

“Man, this brings back memories,” Hide whispered as he slid into the taxi. Quickly he rattled off his address and leaned back into the seat. “Well, sort of… definitely some sort of familiar impression, anyway. Long story short: limonodkas are a bad idea… especially if you combine them with Irish car bombs. Haha.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MFA: *stares off into the distance, smiling slightly* Fuck these past two weeks.
> 
> ((the video Hide mentions is a porn video. Because of course it is.))


End file.
